Reviews

If I were to go back in time and find out I wanted to see this movie in my childhood years, I would've told my younger self to not waste my breath, and that I wasn't missing a thing.

"Osmosis Jones" is, as the title of this review implies, is a complete and total embarrassment; From the first scene, to the second the credits roll.

It is, without question, the worst movie I have ever seen from Warner Bros. And one of the worst films to come out of the early 2000's.

Bill Murray makes a total man-child out of himself in this. He plays Frank, a man who cares more about being unhealthy and eating junk food than he does for his own daughter, Shane; who, by the way, is one of the few decent characters in this cinematic disaster... Which brings me to the biggest problem it has to offer.

"Osmosis Jones" is a live-action/animated hybrid. Why do I find that reason to be a big problem? Because the two just do not mix well, when it comes to this movie. They show too many live-action segments, and when they show the animated sequences, the latter takes up half the runtime.

The filmmakers should've filmed it entirely in live action or just scrapped the idea to make it a hybrid and turn it solely into a cartoon, but NO.

You wanna know what other movie was a live-action/animated hybrid, yet it actually worked and was enjoyable? "Space Jam." It did this concept so much better and wasn't a boiling pot of bull crap, like this movie is!

Now, onto one of many complaints I have with this film; The gross-out jokes. The jokes are nauseating and not funny, whatsoever. Not once, did I laugh or even remotely crack so much as a smile.

Like I said at the beginning of this review, Bill Murray makes a total fool out of himself and his acting is HORRENDOUS. He acted like he didn't give a single crap and wasn't trying at all.

His character is the most unlikable idiot you will see on screen; including Mayor Phlegmming (voiced by William Shatner).

The entire screenplay is a jumbled, contrived mess with barely any character development in it. The only character that has at least SOME redeeming qualities, besides Leah, Drix, Thrax and Shane is Osmosis Jones, himself (played by Chris Rock).

The voice acting is fairly decent with Chris Rock leading the cast as the titular character, David Hyde Pierce, Lawrence Fishburne and William Shatner, but even they weren't able to save this train-wreck. The poor actors just wanted to grab their paychecks and run. Honestly, I don't blame them in the slightest.

Finally, the animation is great; However, once again, it barely saves this movie from falling flat on its face.

In conclusion, "Osmosis Jones" is a terrible, poorly-written excuse of a movie that has little to almost noting going for it. At least, it was the inspiration for "Ozzy & Drix;" a version that was more intelligent than this. Do whatever you can to avoid this film, at all costs. It's not worth it.

I practically ate the original 1996 show up like candy as a young child and to see it in this form is beyond believable.

Joshua Dela Cruz does a good job of being the host, and he has almost the exact same enthusiasm and charisma that Steve had. That attribute alone is a perfect example of how good this reboot is. The animation on the characters may take some time to get used to, but trust me, it is totally worth it.

Not only is this show adorable and colorful to look at, but it brings back memories of my love for the original Blue's Clues. Some episodes from were remade for this new series, and does it botch it up? Absolutely not! The show presents the original in a way that'll bring back the old audiences who used to watch the previous cartoon.

Without question, Blue's Clues and You is a reboot that adults, as well as children, can enjoy. I highly recommend this new series.

I had never seen this movie in theaters due to lack of interest, but after discovering it on Netflix a couple days ago, my curiosity was immediately peeked, and I decided to give it a chance and watch it. I have absolutely no words. "Coco" is, without any doubt, whatsoever, a masterpiece of a film and the best one Disney and Pixar's made in decades.

The characters are the most sympathetic fictional beings you will ever see on screen; especially Héctor. You are gonna fall in love with all of these characters. The songs, animation, voice acting, morals and writing are brilliant. Seriously, this movie has everything an animated movie SHOULD have; Characters with immense likability, through and through, moving, catchy and emotional songs, the list goes on. Not only does "Coco" have things children will enjoy, but it has material adults will love, as well.

I could put up many reasons why I think you should see this movie, but be warned; It is bound to make you cry, at points, including a certain plot twist and ending, which I refuse to spoil. After I watched it a couple times, it instantly made me bawl like a baby. I have a very sensitive heart, and this movie ripped it out and showed it to me, full throttle. The plot is handled with such care and love, you won't be able to stop watching. Once the film becomes an emotional and bittersweet rollercoaster ride, and my goodness gracious, does it ever, you feel a sense of peace and happiness shortly afterwards. I thought "Fluke," "Titanic" and "Finding Nemo" were the only movies to make me cry buckets of tears, but "Coco" managed to break that scale.

Without question, "Coco" is arguably the greatest Disney movie I ever watched. I've grown up with Disney, all my life and this should be up there with "Pinocchio" and "The Lion King" as their crowning achievement. I have nothing more to say in this review, but the following; I advise anyone who hasn't seen this movie before to watch it. Trust me, it is totally and completely worth it.

I have grown up with Disney all my life, and as a kid, I loved Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy; along with all the wacky scenarios they would get themselves into. This movie, however, is the weakest thing I have ever seen these classic characters in. The animation may be good, but the film falls flat on its face. Allow me to explain.

The jokes can go from kind of funny to outright repetitive and aggravating. The characters will reinstate one joke a couple of times and the way they're presented is flat out lazy. Donald and Goofy themselves are completely out of character.

Donald acts like the Cowardly Lion from "The Wizard of Oz" and Goofy has the personality equivalent of Modern Patrick Star, if you were to put that version of the "SpongeBob" character in a Disney movie. The only characters that had some likability were Mickey, Minnie, Clarabelle, Daisy, and even Pete. The rest of them are absolutely annoying.

The songs are so-so, for the most part, but some of them are barely original. They use classic tunes and just throw a bunch of nonsensical lyrics onto them. The story feels more like a parody of "The Three Musketeers" rather than a loose adaptation as well, and I forgot to mention this, but some of the jokes feel like blatant pop culture references than attempts to make the audience laugh. Sometimes, they don't try to be subtle.

This movie is not terrible, but it's not great, either. In my opinion, like the title of this review states, it's dull as dishwater. This could've been a funny, entertaining film for all ages, but from start to finish, it's a complete bore fest.

Never, and I mean, never in my life have I seen a movie like this that is so asinine and felt like it was made by a twelve year old. I cannot believe this "thing" was actually brought to Hollywood and somebody thought it would be a good movie. "Slaughterhouse" is, without question, the worst slasher movie in the history of slasher movies. Oh. My. Goodness. This film is beyond stupid and all logic is thrown out the window the second the main antagonist's son comes on screen. If there's a plot to this movie, it practically has one finger hanging off the edge of a cliff. Let's get into why "Slaughterhouse" fails in every way and manner possible and why it's not even trying to be a horror flick.

The acting is the worst thing you will ever see on screen. The teenage actors, half the time, do not even attempt to put effort into their performances. Seriously, these kids do such a poor job in their roles and the characters are genuinely unlikable; However, the kids are the best actors, compared to Don Barrett as Lester Bacon. This guy overacts so badly, you just wanna reach into the screen and smack him across the face.

Joe B. Barton as Buddy is equally as terrible. He looks like somebody the filmmakers just pulled off the street and the character gets annoying, really fast. I get he's supposed to be mentally disabled, but there are some points where the actor hams it out of the ballpark and overacts, as well.

The writing is... What writing? Yeah, what writing? Like I said, if there's a plot to this movie, at all, it has a finger hanging off the edge of a cliff. The dialogue is absolutely some of the worst dialogue you will ever hear in a film. I'm gonna say it, Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" has a better screenplay than this. The dialogue these characters have to say isn't dialogue. A six year old could do a better job at writing a horror film.

The kills are an absolute joke and the way they're executed is atrocious. Seriously, I have seen better blood and gore effects in "Deep Rising." I'm not kidding. There are times during this movie where the blood has the consistency of water and it looks so unrealistic. You want to see good blood and gore effects? Try seeing "An American Werewolf in London," for Pete's sake.

I could name more problems with this movie, but those explanations are darn well enough to prove my point. "Slaughterhouse" is a pathetic excuse for a horror film that feels like it's not even trying. Its premise is virtually nonexistent, the actors don't put effort into their performances, the kills are incredibly lazy and this has one of the worst endings in all of cinema. Do yourself a favor and avoid this pile of pig manure. In fact, run, don't walk away from it and watch "Child's Play," instead. Now, that is a great slasher that knows what it's doing.

I was really excited when I heard this movie was going to be released, but on the day my mother took me to see it, all my hope for this movie was thrown out the window. "Winnie the Pooh" is absolute garbage from start to finish. The only positives I have about this film are the animation and the "Everything is Honey" sequence. That's it. The rest of it is trash.

First of all, most of the characters, with the exceptions of Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Piglet and Christopher Robin, are completely unlikable and out of character; Especially Kanga and Roo. Rabbit and Owl switch roles and act very annoying. Piglet and Eeyore are abused throughout almost the entire movie because seeing characters getting tortured is funny.

The voice acting, except Jim Cummings as Pooh and Tigger, is beyond lazy. Tom Kenny does a pathetic attempt as Rabbit. He's basically SpongeBob SquarePants in a rabbit costume. Most of the songs are terribly written and horribly sung as well. Like I said, the only song that had at least SOME effort put into it was "Everything is Honey." The story is all over the place and at some points, they shove it off to the side to either make Eeyore and Piglet miserable or tell jokes that aren't even remotely funny.

Ever since my young childhood, I grew up with Disney's adaptation of "Winnie the Pooh." This version of it spits on the legacy of these beloved characters and puts them into a movie that absolutely butchers them. I cannot believe how many positive reviews this film has gotten. Disney didn't even try or care to make it good. They just recycled plot elements from previous movies and made it as sloppy as possible.

If you have a young kid who loves "Winnie the Pooh," I recommend "Piglet's Big Movie" or any of the others starring the character. They are so much better than this.

Wow, and I thought "Romeo & Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss" was bad. This version of the beloved play is terrible. There is no effort, no talent and nothing salvageable about this movie at all. I had found this on YouTube and decided to watch it. Big mistake. This was so bad, I didn't want to finish it.

First of all, nobody knows how to act in this movie. Alex Hyde-White does a pathetic job as Romeo. He is way too over the top, and when he does give a reaction, he's not attempting to try.

Juliet, played by Blanche Baker, is equally as bad. She gives a dull as dishwater performance and looks like she doesn't care.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes did a much better job at portraying Romeo and Juliet than these two! Heck, so did Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey! All of these actors look like they've pulled off the street in this film and look like they don't know what they're doing. I'm being serious.

And secondly, the entire cast puts little to no effort in saying the Shakespearian dialogue. They just say their lines as if they were in a high school play. When you're in a movie like "Romeo and Juliet," you have to at least SHOW the audience you care. These actors don't give two craps that they're in an adaptation of William Shakespeare's classic story.

Do I really need to say anything else in this review? I think I just summed up this entire movie for you; Clear as crystal. This version of "Romeo & Juliet" is garbage, from start to finish. Nothing's redeemable about this movie, whatsoever. If you want to see good adaptations of the play, I recommend the anime, the 1996 version starring DiCaprio and the one from 1968.

This adaptation is, indeed, a tragedy.

I first came across this show a couple days ago and immediately became hooked on it. Although, I'm not the target audience for "Little Charley Bear," which is ages two to three, I can honestly say this show is downright adorable; from its concept to the characters.

Charley himself is the cutest little guy you will ever see. The show teaches children to use their imaginations in their own way and that things will go wrong if you get too excited. This is the lesson "Barney & Friends" failed to give to kids; However, there is one problem with "Little Charley Bear" that made me give it a 7 in this review.

The CGI animation looks like it came out of a video game. Almost in every episode, you can see the pixels in Charley's fur, including his and the other characters' shadows. The backgrounds look a tad dull and there's hardly anything in them at all, which is the case with Charley's room. If the cartoon had just been an animatronic bear puppet in a live action setting, then I would've given it a higher score.

I can recommend this show to anybody who has young children or who just loves watching these things for the sake of it. "Little Charley Bear" is adorable, from start to finish.

This "movie" practically takes a heartbreaking disaster that happened years ago, stomps on it, spits in the faces of the people who died, then proceeds to laugh at the both of them. I have never seen a movie so atrocious, abysmal and retched, that I hope I never have to watch it again. "Titanic: The Animated Movie" is a huge example of how not to turn a historical event into a kid's cartoon.

First off, the animation is incredibly horrible. I have never seen animation this lazy. Did the filmmakers' even TRY to put effort into it? No, of course, not. They were probably being just as lazy or didn't give two craps. I've watched TV shows and movies where the animation was very bad, but at least they were tolerable. This is just pathetic. The Titanic itself looks like it came out of an N64 console. A three year old could do better than these guys at animating.

The characters are bland and are nothing but rip offs of characters I saw from other movies, especially Disney. Angelica and William are basically clones of Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukator from the original James Cameron film, except the "poor" and "rich" roles are flipped.

There is also a family of mice that looks like Fivel's family from "An American Tail," two Dalmatians with red and blue collars, (where do you think that's from?) and various similarities which bring up one word: "Plagiarism."

Not to mention, there is a rapping dog in this film. No, I am not making it up. A RAPPING DOG IN SOMETHING ABOUT THE TITANIC! Can somebody please tell me, how anyone in the right mind, thought that was a great idea? Is this movie trying to be a comedy?

Comedy is something for movies that are written to be comedic, and it is not, in any way, appropriate for a historical subject .

Stay away from this piece of crap. If you think this'll be a good film, think again. It is beyond insulting, the animation and editing are the worst I have ever seen, and it is bound to make you angry at your species who made this.

At least, when Winsor McCoy created his silent cartoon about the Lusitania disaster, he got it right.

I have never actually been a fan of "The Flinstones," but this movie is the cutest thing I have ever watched. The thought of Pebbles and Bamm Bamm becoming parents is like a fan fiction come to life. It's just adorable. The animation is excellent and the characters have a certain charm to them. After seeing "I, Yabba Dabba Do," which was also good, on TV a couple times, I stumbled across a clip of this movie and just had to see it. I'm glad I did. Sure, the cartoon's not without its flaws, but they're drowned out by the sweet and tender nature it has to offer.

I give "Hollyrock-a-Bye Baby" an 8/10.

I first saw this movie on YouTube and I was really impressed. And, you know what? I still am! The story, animation, songs and characters are great, especially their human counterpart designs. It's too bad this has very mixed reviews, but, hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. The movie is a treat to watch, however, I don't get why it was released to theaters in June 2013 when it clearly feels like a made-for-television film. It doesn't matter, this is such a wonderful piece following "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic," regardless if it's a theatrical feature that's like a TV presentation.

In conclusion, "Equestria Girls" is an absolutely fantastic movie. I highly recommend it to everybody!

Horrible isn't enough to describe how bad this piece of crap is. It's atrocious. Don't believe me? I actually saw it when the sneak peek came on Cartoon Network, and have watched the original YouTube series, but that show is like a two minute, tolerable short film compared to this! The characters are so one-dimensional, that they're painful to watch. Orange is a character that will make a person want to rip his or her ears out and scream. His puns are terrible and his laugh makes you want to bash your head into a ten story wall. The animation and CGI absolutely suck. It is the worst animation I have ever seen on a television program, next to "Chowder" and "Flapjack." Also, might I point out that the human in this show, called, "Nerville" or whatever the heck his name is, is worthless as a bunch of rocks?! Cartoon Network, do the world a favor and cancel this pathetic excuse of a show. You have lost the magic of what your channel truly used to be, and it hurts. Really, physically hurts.

1/10.

I remember having "Daisy-Head Mayzie" on videocassette when I was around three or four years old, and I loved it, mainly because the Cat in the Hat was in it. Now, in 2013 of this year, I was so happy to find it on YouTube last night. It felt great to see a lost piece of my early childhood once again.

However, I now realize this movie is not without a couple of flaws. The rhyming isn't all that perfect, and there is almost no explanation for some of the scenes. I understand why people are saying it's not the best "Dr. Seuss" special in the world, but I still love it, nonetheless. The animation is excellent and really lives up to Theodore Geisel's illustrations.

Overall, if you or your kids are Dr. Seuss fans, I highly recommend this special, regardless of its flaws.

7/10

Just because this is a "Dexter's Laboratory" episode, do not let it fool you. This is a disgusting, foul-mouthed, offensive disgrace disguised as it and I am shocked that Genndy Tartakovsky had the nerve to even make this thing. It feels like a horrible "Robot Chicken" skit, (don't get me started on THAT show), and "Family Guy" rolled into one. Don't get me started on "that" show, either. I know that this was an in-house project created as a gag for the real "Dexter's Lab," but I'm not giving this piece of garbage any excuses. It is absolutely terrible. Even its title card is revolting to look at. When I first saw the title card while watching it on YouTube, I was beyond outraged. The whole short is a complete, utter mess, with stereotypical, unfunny jokes, and a ridiculous amount of swearing. Thank goodness, it is bleeped out. Leonardo DiCaprio's "Titanic" is more child-friendly than this.

I don't care if "Rude Removal" is a "Dexter" short. In my personal opinion, it should have never been made or brought to television. It should have been thrown into the garbage where it belongs.

Rating: 1/10. (Like "Fritz the Cat," it doesn't deserve a chance).