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Weeds: Corn Snake (2006)
Season 2, Episode 1
9/10
Excellent start to the Second Season
16 August 2006
This is a show that just keeps getting better. The first few episodes relied completely on the funny but not super premise of a suburban mom selling drugs and being out of her league. As it has grown, especially between seasons, it has become more complex and more satisfying. The brother in law is less annoying here than he was before and the episodes are both more interesting and more funny. The relationship with the DEA agent(pay attention there), which they should keep expanding, is interesting and could take the show in a variety of new directions. My only problem is with the new version of the theme song. I had just grown to like the often-grating version they used all first season, and of the four episodes I have seen it has been really hit or miss for quality, and is especially poor where it shouldn't be, the first episode. But beyond that, there is little to complain about here except that I wish the show were longer because i could watch more of it.
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Sin City (2005)
9/10
Nancy Callahan, the love of my life...
1 April 2005
Wow. That is my first reaction after seeing Sin City. This movie is, from start to finish, a stylized romance with everything that most movies shy away from, a museum of torture and depravity that relishes in its own seedy underbelly. Me and my friends occasionally have what we call "Sin Nights," nights out where we succumb to any sin we wish as long as it's legal and doesn't involve more than three different stores to find. Sin Night is a time when you have that extra cheeseburger, buy that book you've had your eye on, or finally try out that new ice cream spot. You do what you have to to fulfill an inner need, and in the end you feel happy and gleeful. SIn City was the movie equivalent of Sin Night, and how appropriate that name has become. It is violent, it is brutal, it shows you things most movies would come close to. Dismemberment, nudity, and torture; these are throwaway pieces of the film. And one of the best line's I've ever heard in a movie, "...Is that all you've got?" See this, trust me. If you let yourself indulge in the guilty pleasure of this moral vacuum, you'll have a blast.
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Drawn Together (2004–2007)
Very funny, not for the weak of heart
22 March 2005
If you like outrageous humor, then Drawn Together is great. It parodies such drivel as survivor and real world, exposing them for the tripe they are (I'm not bitter at all, am I). Also, the amount of references and jokes to other mediums make this a fantastic blend of humor. Sme jokes are simple and stupid, some are clever references (Toot as Jabba the Hutt!) and some are really obscure (The MC Escher room!!!) Anyway, I liked it, but it was really offensive and mean (that was the fun). If you have a giving sense of humor, you'll love it. If you're easily offended by any topic at all, from sex to abortion to race, don't watch cause it'll just aggrevate you more.
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1/10
Not even boobs make this watchable!
18 March 2005
On an impulse, my roommate and I rented this from the local Hollywood video. We thought it might be funny or at least somewhat enjoyable to watch ninja cheerleaders chop off some people's heads or something. But no. No. This was not enjoyable. It was, I must say, the WORST Piece of trash I have ever seen. I sat through Gigli; I suffered through Cutthroat Island; I even made it all the way to the end of All the Pretty Horses. But none of those mockeries of film come close to the disaster that is Cheerleader Ninjas. I can't even put into words how disgusted I am that it will show up on my rental record that I saw this vile piece of human excrement. WHAT WERE WE THINKING? Save yourself. Do not, under any circumstances, rent, buy, or watch this...this...thing masquerading as a movie. Even the nudity is so horribly done that it is painful to watch. I hate this movie, so very very much, and wish I could burn every copy in existence. No wonder the terrorists hate us so much. They see movies like this and think, "These people must all die!" And in the context of this movie, I am forced to agree with them. Ugh.
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5/10
Overrated and Too Long
30 January 2005
With everything I had heard about this movie, I was expecting something on par with Full Metal Jacket. Instead I watched something more in line with The Postman. Both are long, overdone, and not very good. This movie's first half hour is good, with several interesting characters, such as Robert Duvall with one of the most memorable lines in movie history (I LOVE the smell of Napalm in the morning!). After that, however...It just keeps going, and as they float lazily down the river, we grow steadily more and more bored. By the time we finally meet Marlon Brando's renegade antagonist, it's hard to bring yourself to care anymore; you just want the movie to be over. Maybve I'm crazy, but I am a huge movie buff and I still can't stand to watch this movie again. If you are interested in good Vietnam movies, see; Full Metal Jacket(The best by far), Platoon, Forrst Gump(Not really ABOUT Vietnam) or We Were Soldiers. Very few others are worth watching.
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Blue Velvet (1986)
I Just Don't Get it.
23 September 2004
Maybe it's just me, maybe I am talking out of ignorance, but I hated this movie. It didn't say anything, it didn't go anywhere, it just was, and I didn't like what it was. The performances were all good, the directing was good, but I just hated the movie. I felt uncomfortable during the entire film, which I don't mind if there is a point behind it. But this movie, I just couldn't find anything I liked about it. I see a lot of movies, and at my college, I am the guy most people go to when they need movies recommended or to borrow, but this is one that all my knowledge can't help me with. If you like uber-bizarre cinema that lacks anything resembling literal storytelling or any logical progression, this is probably your movie. If you like movies that have good plots and mean something, however, better go somewhere else, cause it ain't here (I suggest the Usual Suspects or Anything by Tarantino myself, but different strokes...).
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Worst Bond Film (and Bond) ever!
6 July 2004
Many fans of Bond books and films have, on this site and others, said that Timothy Dalton is unfairly called the worst Bond ever. When my friend Seth and I saw these comments, we thought that they were only joking, but soon realized they were serious! Him and I both agree that Mr. Dalton is, by far, the WORST Bond ever. Seth put it best when he said, "The first time I saw Timothy Dalton as James Bond I asked myself, 'where is Bond?' In this scene, there were three people in a limo and Bond simply dissolved into the background. I had seen other Bond films lately and I could always pick Bond right out, no matter who played him. But with Dalton, Bond was invisible." For a man who is 6'2", he has NO screen presence.

The plot, while cleverly outside the box, fails on several counts. First, The acting is sloppy and sub par for these movies (which if anyone remembers Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough, this is saying an awful lot). Dalton never does anything but stare in confused concentration, without ever changing his face, to express all ranges of emotion. Some might take this as the steely-jawed Bond from the books, but to me and all of my friends(Bond-lovers all) it looks like bad acting.

Some people have said that Dalton stands far above other Bond actors such as Roger Moore. They denounce Moore as "silly." Seth shall hereby rise to Moore's defense. "Dalton could not manage to be silly, or even be funny. The puns, which have become a staple to Bond fans, in Licence to Kill are atrocious. I myself wince at most puns, but in these movies I had to steel my stomach in order to prevent myself from losing my lunch. They were that bad. It may not be Dalton's fault that he was given such terrible material, but the manner that he delivers them only makes them worse." Something that Moore never had a problem with.

Finally, Dalton-lovers often point out that he is the "character that Ian Fleming wrote about." Well, I hate to break it to these people, but Movies and Books are different beasts completely. What works on the page does not on the screen, and vice versa. Just look at good book adaptations, such as Jurassic Park or Lord of the Rings, and BAD adaptations, such as Sphere or All The Pretty Horses. The key difference is not acting quality, directing, or the script. It is literalism and over-reliance on the book. Writer Orsen Scott Card said, "There are a thousand ways to tell any story, choose the one most appropriate..." Dalton may play it close to the book, but he does it too far into the series for it to be acceptable for the franchise, and thank God he didn't; because then we wouldn't have twenty Bond films, we'd have his two.
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7/10
Another Great Film from Kenneth Branagh
4 March 2004
While many people seem to scorn this film, I found it wonderfully enjoyable. Like the great Orson Welles, He stars in, and directs, many of his movies. This one in particular shows some of his more excentric, if not marketable, passions in filmmaking that make movie buffs and connaisseurs alike enjoy this stylized and emotional film.

Yes, it is melodramatic. Yes, the acting is often over the top. But what many critics of this film fail to recognize is that this is precisly the point. By staying very true to the source material(until the Elizabeth thing) and the significant changes that WERE made are clear evidence of this. The book was melodramatic. What Kenneth Branagh does here is stay true to the spirit of the classic gothic novel. The great close-ups define the characters, and through them you can understand them. Do not mistake stylization for poor film-making, because this is a wonderfully made and presented film, that if understood captivates you from the first spoken words(a quote from Mary Shelly, setting up the stylization) to the last frame.

Know what you're getting into, a passionatly made film about what drives one to both excel and what drives one to madness, and the dangers of excess beyond reason. If you have read the book, regardless of whether you liked it or not,see this movie. You will love what they have retained, and will embrace what they've changed. this is not a film(not a movie, a film) for everyone. But for those who are willing to have an open mind, it is pure bliss!
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Serendipity (2001)
10/10
A Pleasant Surprise
19 February 2004
This movie was a wonderful little romantic comedy. While it may not be When Harry Met Sally... it is still very entertaining, and is watchable more than once. Cleverly done, and with a wonderful cast, this movie came out of nowhere and won its way into my personal movie lists. Others may say that it is overdone or cliche, but these people do not understand the fel of the movie, which is comfortably tongue-in-cheek. Watch this movie and enjoy!!!
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