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Agaric
Reviews
Time Chasers (1994)
The little Vermont movie that could
All right, enough with the MST3K-ing, people. I of course saw this movie through the show, and I thought their treatment of it was hilarious. It's one of my favorite episodes. Surprisingly enough though, unlike many other movies ridiculed by Mike and the bots, this one is far from bad. Maybe it's just the sheer number of times that I've seen it that has made it grow on me like some kind of low-budget lichen.
Of course the acting is sub-par and at times could wilt flowers on the side of the road. I wouldn't expect stellar performances from a collection of actors coming out of rural Vermont. The whole time travel concept involving a small engine aircraft is laughable I'll admit. The portrayal of the future is hardly better than a shot of a present day main-street strip. There are a number of minor holes in the plot, one of which involves how Nick managed to get a gun after falling into a lake out of the plane. Another would be the way that the future was unaltered even though automatic weapons and the wreckage of a plane/time machine were left in Revolutionary War-era America.
Honestly though, I believe that these shortcomings were inevitable given the budgetary constraints of the film. The film was cut and edited well, which are aspects I believe to be important in a film of any budget. Take a look at the shoddy editing in some films with budgets over 100 million dollars and it's almost shameful by comparison. Corny by mainstream Hollywood standards, I believe that this film should be viewed for what it is: an impressive achievement by an unknown low-budget filmmaker. I think we should be asking ourselves, given a camera and a few thousand dollars to make a movie about time travel, "could we have done better?"
Singles (1992)
Cameron Crowe's underrated film
Cameron Crowe delivers a charming little piece of romantic comedy with "Singles." Set amidst the backdrop of early '90s Seattle, the film itself often takes a backseat to its excellent soundtrack including some of grunge rock's best. However, Crowe's signature charm highlighting the little things of personal relationships amid big cities and big music earns this one a place alongside gems like "Say Anything" and "Almost Famous."
The film's title speaks over a range of topics within the film. The core characters find themselves single, living in single apartments, or even cutting singles in bands. Yet single relationship status above all helps to form the meat of the film, carrying us through the parallel paths of friends bound together by their apartments and the music they enjoy. The wrestling match between commitment and escape, love and friendship underpins every moment of every conversation.
Music lover Crowe's early days as a journalist for Rolling Stone magazine have rubbed off in many memorable ways over the span of his career. Often the sounds of his movies speak more potently than the actors, or augment their performance (we all remember John Cusack's Peter Gabriel moment in "Say Anything"). Peppered throughout "Singles" are fantastic songs chronicling the swell of Seattle grunge and alternative rock, including club performances by Alice in Chains and Soundgarden. Three members of Pearl Jam make delicious cameos as Matt Dillon's band mates, and Chris Cornell of Soundgarden even makes an appearance. Perhaps the best scene in the film occurs when Campbell Scott and Kyra Sedgwick sit silently over the pieces of a broken plate, both utterly entranced with "May this Be Love" by Jimi Hendrix.
Admittedly the film has its flaws, owing mostly to the clunky nature of incorporating several different parallel plot lines into a film of this length. Some characters are squeezed in with marginal and ultimately forgettable results. However, Crowe's ability to forge the very fabric of what people love about each other and their lives keeps "Singles" afloat above other romantic comedies. Simply put, he nudges our own memory bank with a combination of music and storytelling that allows us to connect with his characters.
Breeders (1986)
Pornographic Rubbish
This movie goes leaps and bounds beyond even the worst bargain-bin horror fare. I am an avid viewer of cheap horror films for humor purposes, yet "Breeders" was a chore to even watch through to its conclusion. Horrid acting, laughable monsters with an even more laughable premise, and garish production make this one too bad to even touch.
The premise of the movie is as insulting as it is implausible. The alien who lives under New York city apparently can only breed with "virgin" human women for an undisclosed purpose (no alien births or even a sign of pregnancy appear in the film). However, this technicality which seems to form the backbone of the movie is utterly silly. A cocaine using ballet student and a thirty-something woman who dresses in leopard print are a couple of the five to seven "virgins" who appear naked and raped by this alien. The nudity of the female actors borders on exploitation, as obligatory shower and nude dancing scenes ensue. The final straw is the climax of the movie in which a showdown takes place not with the lecherous alien, but with the bevy of nude alien rape victims in a vat of white goo, rubbing up against each other. More disgustingly extraneous than anything, it is a new height of callousness even for shoddy science fiction pornography.
The rest goes without saying. The acting is too wooden for words and the plot is predictable. The alien makes those on Flash Gordon and the original Star Trek look real, as the actor wearing the suit is visibly wearing black boots. If this movie wasn't so sexually explicit, it would have made fantastic fodder for MST3K. Avoid this movie even if you enjoy poorly made, low budget sci-fi/horror flicks.
Feardotcom (2002)
Even more torturous than the subject matter
This film hardly merits a review of any kind. It is even difficult to begin writing about the myriad atrocities of film that are present in its cinematic putrescence. However, a few notable flaws can be mentioned. The storyline is far from cohesive. Characters simply pop out of nowhere and are instantly forgotten. It is not clear who we're supposed to care about and who we are supposed to despise. The entire premise of the website is dubious and confusing up until the conclusion of the film. Are we to pity the dead girl or fear her ability to indiscriminately destroy anyone who haplessly visits the website?
There could have been some promise in the idea of unexplained energy existing over the internet. However, the concept is resigned to a single conversation and adds nothing to the overall understanding of what forces are at work. It is also unclear whether the filmmakers were intending to shock the audience into submission or to create a jump-out-of-your-seat scare fest. Thankfully the film's gore never gets nauseating due to poor editing during the exploitative scenes of female torture. Admittedly, the imagery is inventive and has potential fright value, but the cheap scares are so separated by vast expanses of trite boredom that they fail to deliver at all.
Dismal acting and conventional characters. The lunatic doctor is a serial killer, why? The cop who falls in love with a coroner in a span of a day somehow arouses her utmost devotion and concern. Stephen Dorff's acting career went from the toilet to the sewer with this film, and rightly so. Director William Malone has obviously studied the dark crafts of David Fincher, but his ineptitude at producing even cheap carbon copies of thrillers is aptly demonstrated with "FearDotCom." Consequently, this movie makes "Saw" look like "The Silence of the Lambs."
In short, the editing is terrible, the acting rank, the cinematography recycled, and the continuity is out the window. Why movies like this are allowed to be made on such budgets is beyond me. Skip this one at all costs.
Saw (2004)
A case of style over substance that can't overcome
Settling into the Halloween mini-fright fest season is the grisly "Saw." Penned as a psychological thriller more akin to "Silence of the Lambs" and "Seven" than to modern day slasher flicks and Japanese influenced horrors, the stylish and dark movie tries to measure up to its influences. Though it abounds with adept creepiness and plenty of serial murder terrors, "Saw" fails to join the ranks of the memorable aforementioned thrillers. Awkward acting, jumpy edits, and a trifle too many open ends in the plot lines leave this mainstream horror film more gross than great.
"Saw" opens promisingly. A man awakes in a freezing bathtub in a dingy room with two other men. One as we find out is a doctor (Elwes) and the other is a corpse holding a tape recorder containing cryptic messages. To the men's terror, they are captives of a known serial killer who prefers to let his victims kill themselves (in horrific ways) than do the honors himself. What emerges is an orchestrated game of survival in which the pawns must perform acts of violence to save themselves and those whom they hold dear.
What begins as a game of Clue come to life disintegrates into a mishmash of forced flashbacks held together by sub-par acting. Even veterans like Danny Glover seem to be fighting to hold together a script which is big on technical quirks, but low on dialogue. The interactions between Whannell and Elwes (which make up the majority of the movie) are almost silly at times and ham-fisted at best. The movie is downright boring for stretches and significant discoveries made in the prison room often fail to elicit the correct response. The pounding climax and ending is a mixed bag of visceral cool and baffling open-endedness.
On a positive note, the dark atmosphere of "Saw" lends enough creepiness to make it a worthwhile movie experience. The murderer makes brief appearances in grotesque masks and dots the landscape with his sadistic devices. The modes of self-mutilation and murder he subjects his victims to are sadly more inventive than the film as a whole. Danger lurks around every steel curved corner and booby-trapped door as heavy breathing and heartbeats dot the score.
On a whole, the film's greatest weakness is its failure to connect with the viewer. "Seven" featured not only a complex villain, but characters whom you could empathize with and track their moves with tension. "The Silence of the Lambs" offered two stellar actors lending a complexity and chemistry which had been rare in a dark thriller of its kind. The characters of "Saw" are too conventional, weak, or vague to truly elicit a response. Even the killer's grand purpose is obscured by a tendency to see past the viability of characters involved, unlike the twisted truth which could be seen in John Doe's work in "Seven."
Perhaps it was not meant to be placed on the level of those films in the pantheon of the dark thriller. Yet the grandness of its vision and poor execution leaves "Saw" a lightly entertaining movie that never really was.
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)
A Fascinating Adventure
WARNING: May Contain Spoilers
"The Golden Voyage of Sinbad" continues the magic of Ray Harryhaussen's unique style of animation and his love of exotic mythology. Understandably, the film's special effects pale in comparison to the CG eye-orgies of today, yet the real strength of the movie rests in the portrayal of the fantasy realm itself.
In the second installment of the Sinbad trilogy, director Gordon Hessler crafts a much darker realm than "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad" and a much more believably Arabic one than "Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger". Sinbad is now pursued by a Dark magician on his journey to an uncharted island. This desolate and dangerous island supposedly holds the prize of incredible power to which both Sinbad and his Nemesis hold keys. Along the way he confronts a number of Harryhaussen's most stunning creations to date, including a six-armed living statue, a cycloptic centaur, and a griffon. The island itself is a beautiful array of ancient ruins, mysterious oracles, and a labyrinth of underground caverns. Color contrasts intermingle seamlessly as gigantic fountains bubble red water and green temple interiors are antagonistic to the dusty sandstone of the surface.
The characters in "The Golden Voyage" are also much more distinct and memorable in this installment. The dark prince Koura is sinister in his machinations, yet vulnerable as he ages each time he summons up his dark powers. The grand vizier's scarred face is hidden behind a placid gilded mask and the clumsy Haroun never fails to spark a laugh. John Philip Law's Sinbad is a quieter, more subdued captain than Kerwin Matthews' macho portrayal in the previous installment, yet he performs his role with stern concentration.
Overall, the film is exceptional not through its special effects or set design, but for the personal feel it portrays as a whole. An earthly design pervades the exotic locales and fearsome beasts which is lacking in many of the fantasy films today. Harryhaussen remains Hollywood's most legendary effects artist because he understood the importance of allowing imagination to precede the effects themselves. Fantasy, even relating the darkest story, can still have a sense of warmth.
Shark: Rosso nell'oceano (1984)
Ghastly editing sinks this seaborn menace
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
The ripples in the wake of the first "Jaws" movie were still prominent in the 1980s as well as beyond. Movie monsters went from being radioactive monstrosities to unknown and voracious beasts lurking in the unexplored corners of human experience (ie: the ocean, deep space, genetics). Although "Jaws" was a milestone in this particular realm of film horror, few films have been able to match the visceral impact of the original. "Shark rosso nell'oceano" (aka Devil Fish or Red Ocean), is a dutiful follower of the original "Jaws" formula. After several hapless boats and seagoers are brutally murdered by some ocean creature, there is an initial drive to discover the beast, then a failure to study it without horrible results, and a final push to destroy it. Although the filmmakers attempted to inject some fresh life into the equation by adding elements of technology and corporate conspiracy, the result is nothing short of disastrous. This movie sinks under its own weight of ghastly editing, brittle acting, and cheap scares.
The most sickly compelling feature of "Devil Fish" is its cookie-cutter editing. From the onset of the film when 3 different scenes are mashed together, the viewer gets a sense that the film lacks any technical credibility. It appears as if the editors cut the scenes around a set musical score instead of cutting the film and then making necessary changes to the music. Furthermore, every cut is an intercut and it would appear as if the editors had never heard of the terms "fade", "wipe", or "dissolve". The impact of scenes can never settle in because they are immediately cut short after a final line and a new scene begins. Silly camera tricks abound such as when two of the principle characters share a private moment on the beach and a sort of time-lapse image of their act is composited over their bodies.
The music is equally bland. The creature theme is a hopeless duplicate of the "Jaws" theme with slight variation. Although I like to keep my reviews devoid of MST3K influence, Mike most aptly described the somber score as "soft core porn music". Failing to produce tension in a film that relies so heavily on it is a death blow to "Devil Fish". The acting is stale, the relationships baffling, and the whole conspiracy is laughable. The question remains that if genetics had advanced to such a level to create a huge chimera of a sea monster to protect oceanic interests, why couldn't a more practical use be administered to better mankind? One of the few positive aspects of this film is the idea of the monster, even though its film presence is less than stellar.
Overall, this movie is bad enough to dip below mediocre. If "Jaws" had never been made, then the film could be described as average because its subject matter would be new and exciting even if it was executed ineffectively. Sadly, as a carbon copy of Spielberg's original thriller it sits most comfortably on a garbage heap of cheese.
The Final Sacrifice (1990)
Low budget film struggles out of quagmire
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
Like many others I have seen and enjoyed the MST3K version of this movie and have not seen the unparodied version. I probably never will. Yet I think that like many other films, "The Final Sacrifice" has been unnecessarily maligned through its connection with MST3K. Don't get me wrong, I think the show is one of the most brilliant and hilarious ideas ever conceived. However, I am annoyed that it guides so many reviews on this site. Reviewers write their comments as duplications of the wry satire of Mike and the Bots and ultimately dismiss the films as garbage simply because they were chosen for the show. Association does not make a bad movie. Poor acting, overblown budgets, cheese, poor editing techniques, lack of innovation, and corporate hack-writing make a bad movie. Needless to say, "The Final Sacrifice" contains any number of these elements. But as many other MST3K gems, it should be rendered its status of mediocre, rather than join the ranks of ones that truly are horrid. Now that my rant is completed, I will go on to review this film.
Both the guiding principle of this movie and sadly its Damoclean sword is its modest budget. With a limited cast of unknowns, it was filmed in the wilderness of Canada without proper money for professional set design or effects. Low budget films can be very effective, yet the subject matter tackled in "The Final Sacrifice" is one that requires more money than was available. An ancient civilization complete with ruins and an entire lost city is ultimately laughably portrayed in the film. The chase scenes involve backroads and bicycles, old trucks and beer bottles. Despite the obvious shortcomings visually, the low budget does give the film a rather whimsical feel of an extended college production or a bunch of friends getting together to make a movie in the woods.
The writers opened themselves up to much more inevitable laughs than was necessary. Most of this occurs in the characterizations of the main cast. The name of the hero is "Zap Rowsdower", the evil Satoris boasts a voice that belongs to a werewolf more than a simple man in an overcoat, and the ridiculous Mike Pipper has a mountain draw that can melt any straight face. The tiny cast demands that the characters be explored in depth, but there is little allowance for this and the explanations that emerge are insubstantial. Rowsdower's past as a part of Satoris' cult could have been brought to an interesting level, but his stories of his past leave plot holes.
On the plus side, there is some inventive camera work, though nothing that could be considered innovative or grand. It appears that dollies were not even used, so steady cam shots are the norm, with a few handhelds mixed in. Some scenes were good attempts such as the dream/flashback scene but obviously fail to dazzle or enrich the experience. Overall, "The Final Sacrifice" is hampered by its minescule budget and overblown characterizations more than poor technical work. What emerges is a mediocre, mostly dull experience which makes for a good afternoon viewing on a rainy day at best.
Space Mutiny (1988)
"Passed From Editor to Editor in a Desperate Attempt to Save It"
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
I will limit my use of MST3K bias to the above quote and try to pick apart the sinew of this scabby cadaver of a film to the best of my ability. A cheese-laden metaphor will suffice to begin. The Pandora's Jar containing all the unholy elements of filmography was opened up in the South Africa power station where this was filmed, and unfortunately, hope was not left behind.
Where to begin? I must confess that I am not a Battlestar Galactica fan, nor do I have any knowledge of its special effects stock footage, so I can't spite "Space Mutiny" in that respect. However, the tepid space mattes and lifeless attack scenes which were intended to be the film's thrill rides are poor enough to fall on their own. The Southern Sun (the spaceship where the movie takes place) reeks of a lack of technology which reinforces the common sense edict that one should not make a space-era movie relying on action sequences with a small budget to boot. The budgetary constraints account for the fact that much of the film's scenes are confined to the damp pipe labyrinths of the power plant set. Perhaps the filmmakers were looking to enhance the idea of the mutiny lurking in the shadows on the ship, but unfortunately the mise-en-scene says "industry" rather than "space".
The characters are a mix of the cliched and the laughable. The villain is villainous indeed. With an insidious laugh that just won't quit and a penchant for doing typical "evil guy" deeds, it seems as though the mutiny would have profited from more down-to-earth leadership. The hero of the film is a beefed-up space cadet who seems to have wandered out of Venice Beach and into the wrong profession. Enough said. The only thing worse than the silly female race of scantily-clad magic dancers is the chemistry between the hero Ryder and the love interest Lea Jansen. The age difference is starkly mind-boggling, and their pinball love-hate-love encounters leave viewers shaking their heads.
"Space Mutiny" might be considered a ballet, perhaps one concocted by Saturday Night Live. Hapless men rocketed from explosions or simply punched all careen over railings and banisters in a gratuitous, pre-Michael Bay mania. The villains wear ski masks and red, while the heroes wear white and blue. Nemeses duel in tiny electric carts and forces fight with flame throwers consisting of a propane tank and hose. Middle aged women forgo all sense of decency and bare way too much for the average audience to stomach in hardly evocative techo hula hoop entices. Even at its most inexcusable (a woman killed in a previous scene resumes her post in full view of the camera), "Space Mutiny" never fails to deliver that chortle accompanied by the ducked, shaking head.
In short, never see this movie unless you are watching the MST3K version.
Jurassic Park (1993)
Revolutionary technical feat
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
"Jurassic Park" has gone down in history as one of the highest grossing films of all time, and another milestone in the career of Steven Spielberg. Some critics have bashed the film, saying that it is nothing more than a special effects orgy riddled with cheesy scenes and cliches. Although the film is crafted in the fashion of the summer blockbuster, it is impossible to deny that it was an important gain in the field of cinema as a whole. It is an enjoyable film with many suspenseful moments and helped pave the way for the further development of CGI in order to dazzle film audiences.
I read the book after seeing the movie (I was about 10 years old at the time), and I couldn't help but feeling how the movie would have been so much cooler if they'd included some other scenes. These include the aviary scene with the pterodactyls, the whole rafting journey, the raptor nest, and the eventual destruction of the island. However, it is understandable that many of these scenes were cut out due to time and money constraints. In most cases, the books hold more gold than the movie versions anyway and edited scenes are sometimes better left to the imagination. Thus, the lack of consistency with the book has certainly not detracted from my view of this movie as a whole.
The obvious strong point of the film is the groundbreaking work in computer effects. This was the first time that computers were able to realistically portray animals in full sunlight and weather effects in a film. The most striking aspect of this milestone is that the animals created are enormous. Dinosaurs have always permeated the imaginations of countless people because of their gargantuan size and the mystery surrounding them. We have all been reduced to seeing pictures of the dinosaurs as they might have looked millions of years ago, or seeing their fossilized remains in museums. "Jurassic Park" was able to bring the huge beasts to life, created a strata of terror, gentleness, and above all: sheer size. The earth shakes under the weight of a 100 ton Brachiasaur coming down on all fours after feeding on a tree and as the Tyrannosaur chases down a jeep.
The dinosaurs as character elements are equally amazing. The Tyrannosaurus Rex is one polarity of terror, melding enormous size with speed and a deafening roar that makes a lion sound like a kitten. On the other pole are the absolutely terrifying velociraptors. They are small, but their high intelligence and ability to hunt with precision in a pack make them creatures of nightmares. The hunting scene in which Lex and Tim are trapped in a kitchen with two raptors is very effective. Perhaps equally as scary are the dilophasaurs: small dinosaurs that appear playful at first, but become almost demonic, blinding prey with a paralyzing secretion that they spit. The creators took a few liberties with the dinosaurs (velociraptors are actually smaller and dilophasaurs are 10 feet tall), but these are mere details that won't harm the experience of even a dinosaur nerd like myself.
The emphasis stays with the dinosaurs and their ability to awe the audience, as it rightfully should. There are some very good actors in this movie, which is interesting for a summer blockbuster. Also, critics should be able to acknowledge that the acting is above average in this film. To back this up, I point to the sequel "The Lost World". That movie had talented actors as well such as Julianne Moore, but the writing and acting was very sub par. Sam Neill plays his part well, portraying a paleontologist who is both excited beyond his wildest imagination, and saddened by the fact that his profession will soon become obsolete. Laura Dern plays a good counterpart to him, and Jeff Goldblum shines as the eccentric mathematician Ian Malcolm.
"Jurassic Park" does contain many cliches. The whole journey of Sam Neill towards becoming a father figure for the two children is somewhat heavy towards the end for example. Also, the whole scene with the lawyer "getting what he deserves" by being bitten in half after cowering on a toilet is rather ridiculous. However, the movie is filled with very memorable gags that remind the viewer that this movie was made to entertain. The T Rex nearly bites off the rearview mirror which reads "objects in the mirror are closer than they appear" and at the conclusion of the film, a banner that reads the "when dinosaurs ruled the earth" flutters down amidst his bellowing roar. It is simple elements like that which provide an amusing feel to the film without having to rely heavily on spoken quips.
In conclusion, "Jurassic Park" taught us that things of our imagination could be realistically portrayed on the screen in a way that can both dazzle and scare. This is a very entertaining movie, and is certainly the best film of what I believe to be a poorly executed and unnecessary series.
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
Average in all respects
WARNING: May Contain Spoilers
John Woo excels at pushing the envelope of both excitement and hyperbole in action films, but he doesn't handle emotion very well. Although certain scenes in "Mission Impossible II" don't fail to dazzle the explosion craving psyche, the entire movie has a hopelessly contrived foundation. The characters are cliches, the plot recycled, and the dialogue is hammy as it comes. A revelry of stuntwork, explosions and chases, but nothing more.
Tom Cruise gives his good looks, but not much else to the role of Ethan Hunt. Whereas the original Mission Impossible contained intelligence and mystery, Cruise is forced to work within the slap-bang action hero mold. Dougray Scott is the typical insidious ex-secret agent turned renegade. His overpunctuation of his lines is grievously apparent, and his one dimensional character practically telegraphs his direction and fate. Thandie Newton, although extremely beautiful, is reduced to the "hold me, hero" love interest role for Tom Cruise. Her character starts out as a highly capable and interesting professional thief, but degrades very quickly. I don't even know why Anthony Hopkins was in this movie, but his role was tiny enough that it doesn't need to be discussed.
The plot is blatantly recycled. A deadly virus is created and bad guys steal it, prompting a secret agent to be sent in order to get it back. The scenes proceed in a stop/go fashion to the extreme, and hardly any tension is produced at all. The chase scenes, though visually pleasing are predictable and rather over-the-top. I'm normally not such a cynic when it comes to action movies, but couldn't any idiot in his right mind have hit Cruise with at least one bullet? The kill ratio must have been about 80-0.
On the positive side, the locations were actually quite excellent. The opening scene with Tom Cruise in the Moab Desert, dangling from a cliff face hundreds of feet high was very striking. Also, the Spanish flamenco and candle-lit procession scenes exhibited very impressive lighting techniques. Woo's action sequences, though hideously hyperbolic at times, still display a degree of art. In interviews, Woo has said that he retains some romantic visions in his films, such as how the motorcycle duel between Cruise and Scott mimicked a jousting competition between medieval knights. I'm not about to challenge his contention, but he certainly has done better in his other films.
In sum, this movie isn't bad, but it's certainly not good. Its simple plot, mega star actor, and flashy effects were enough to make it a blockbuster in 2000, but certainly not enough to make it memorable. If you're an action fan, you could give it a rent, but there are many other fine action films which are more deserving of your view.
Clear and Present Danger (1994)
Intelligent, yet Laborious at times
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
"Clear and Present Danger" is the third translation of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan series to the screen, and the second one starring Harrison Ford as the "thinking-man's James Bond". Although a definite improvement over "Patriot Games", and on par with "The Hunt for Red October", the film contains serious points of lag. The material in these drawn out sequences is interesting, but it molds the film into an average entry in either of two categories: either as a tepid action film, or an underdeveloped drama. Holes aside, the film is engaging enough to wet the appetites of fans of either genre, and is an entertaining experience overall.
Ford is the best Jack Ryan in my opinion, successfully conveying Ryan's intelligence as well as his vulnerability in dangerous situations. Plus he is able to inject his trademark charm and snide humor into the role which gives the character a more down-to-earth character we can relate to. Part of the problem with the movie is the lack of development of the rest of the characters. Since the script is burdened with an array of important roles, their screen time is often marginalized. For example, Willem Dafoe is given hardly any development prior to the climax of the film. I respect Dafoe as an actor greatly, and found myself wishing that he would be involved in more of the film. Anne Archer has the throwaway role as the wife of Jack Ryan, but James Earl Jones is able to shine as Admiral Greer, even though he's on the sidelines. Some characters just don't fit, like the entire cabinet of political bigwigs who orchestrate the events of the movie. Donald Moffat is ridiculous and an utter buffoon of a president, and Henry Czerny seems to be insidious for no reason. Many of these holes in characters could have been remedied with another half hour of screen time.
However, my last comment would have shifted the context of the movie to a full blown drama. As much as Clancy's work is engaging, the movie cannot stand on its own without the promise of action. The action scenes are well done and gripping at times, but they are merely peppered throughout the film. Philip Noyce is able to create scenes of tension without using weapons, such as the well-done scene involving a computer battle between Ford and Czerny. Overall, the film gives off an odor stemming from a lack of sustained tension, and the plot visibly loses steam at points.
Ultimately, the main problem with "Clear and Present Danger" is the problem of defining what it "clearly" is as a movie. But, if you're a fan of Clancy's work or are just looking for an entertaining movie, give this one a rent.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Stunning Conclusion to an Epic Trilogy
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS
"I'm glad you're here Sam, here at the end of all things"
I found that this particular line near the conclusion of the film struck a note inside me. Not only as one of my favorite lines from Tolkien's work, but also as a sad reminder that the trilogy has drawn to a close. No more will the rush of anticipation fill me as another December approaches, heralding the arrival of another of Peter Jackson's masterworks. The most monumental of the three films, "The Return of the King" also evokes the strongest impact within me. It represents the culmination of years of the most careful work that brought one of the most epic stories into cinema history.
I'll begin with the obvious strong points of the movie. The effects are absolutely stunning. As you have read countless times previous, the Battle of the Pelennor fields is one of the most exhilerating thrill rides and certainly one of the grandest film battles. My mouth was agape even the third time viewing the Rohirrim stare in horror amidst the low rumble of the charge of the gargantuan Mamukil, during the winged fell beasts diving into the white city of Minas Tirith, and the arrival of the Army of the Dead. In subtler aspects, CGI has been used masterfully to craft a thoroughly convincing and memorable performance of a key character. The marriage of Andy Serkis' acting and the impecable craft of WETA animators created a Gollum worthy of remembrance. The settings are dazzling, particularly the psychedelic green glow of the foreboding Minas Morgul, Minas Tirith itself, and the atmospheric horror of Shelob's lair. Mordor is the true hell of Middle Earth as the strongholds of men are the light.
The acting, though starkly Shakespearean at times, is particularly effective. The relationship between Frodo and Sam is brought to the forefront, powerfully conveying that the most important thing driving these characters through the most evil of places is their friendship. Miranda Otto is given a chance to shine as Eowyn, the caged warrior who finally gets an opportunity to fight for those she cares for. Her confrontation with the Witch King, promulgated by the line "I will KILL you if you touch him!", never ceased to send a shiver down my spine. Though wooden at times, the acting successfully moves the gears of the film. Without the burden of having to establish many characters and settings as the first two films did, "The Return of the King" allows development of many characters who were initially marginalized. Billy Boyd is particularly effective this time around as Pippin.
Howard Shore's musical score is once again stirring as ever, molding a grandness of scale with the closeness and conflict of relationships. The sound design is equally awe inspiring: the Nazgul shrieks and grinding stone of a collapsing city never fail to elicit a response.
Yes, there are shortcomings. Many very interesting scenes from the book didn't make the final theatrical cut. The confrontation with Saruman and the Scouring of the Shire are two notable examples. However, although I have been a Tolkien enthusiast since I first read the books when I was 8 or 9 years old, I do not share the cynicism of many reviewers. Apart from the obvious reason that the film's run-time already exceeds 3 hours, there is a simple question of interpretation. Certain sacrifices needed to be made to craft a feasible film for the movie going public. Furthermore, This is merely a certain group of people's vision of the books. We all have different images of Middle Earth in our minds. The fact that a scene is left out of a movie does not necessarily make it a poor or insufficient telling of a story. I find it interesting for example that hardly any reviewers of Star Wars criticized the movie for having not contained scenes from Lucas' original book. It positively surprised me that so many people have read and enjoyed these fabulous books to offer such valid comments out of their love for the trilogy. I'm sure that the DVD extended edition will please the palate of anyone who was disappointed with the removal of certain scenes.
In conclusion, this film is a gorgeous reminder that CGI can enhance a movie-going experience without sacrificing the human element of film. I am wholly satisfied with Peter Jackson's vision and thank all who worked on this film for bringing such an intricate interpretation of three of my favorite novels to the screen.
L'uomo puma (1980)
A Case Study in Futility
WARNING: SPOILERS (IF YOU REALLY CARE)
This movie represents essentially everything that can go wrong with a film. Stop/Go acting, a ridiculously dressed villain who's insidious to the extreme, lower-than-sub-par special effects, and a musical score that is laughable at best. I will try to make my review as devoid of MST3K influence as I can, although it is hard, seeing as how that was such a brilliant parody of this mess of a film.
As far as plot goes, there's a powerful mask that aliens placed on the earth to be guarded by a Puma Man (a superhuman who possesses the powers of a puma). It turns out that the latest descendant of the original puma man is a grievously whiny paleontologist, and the man who has to teach him to use his powers is an incomprehensible zen complexed Aztec shaman. The shaman gives whiny pants a special belt that transforms him into "The Puma Man" whose costume consists of tan chinos, a goofy pink cape, and loafers. The evil-doer is a leather obsessed megalomaniac played by Donald Pleasance, who seems to delight in saying "comb the area!". The female love interest looks like she took acting lessons from a still-life painter. Needless to say, shenanigans ensue.
The acting and character interaction are so bad that I won't even discuss them. However, the special effects and musical score are so poorly executed that they're worthy of mention. Despite the fact that pumas are quadrapedal mammals that can't fly, the puma MAN flies through the air effortlessly. Scratch that last word from the record. He doesn't fly, but rather careens through the air (it's as if the wires holding him were constantly breaking). He totters about at skewed angles amidst an urban backdrop that's so obviously rear projected that it's worse than something seen on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The music is a ridiculous blend of keyboards, tinny harpsicord nonsense, and Shaft-esque funk. I was expecting Isaac Hayes to have a cameo.
In sum, don't watch this. Watch the MST3K version because it's utterly hilarious, but do not watch the movie on its own. I doubt you could even find it anywhere, but if you see a copy, duck and cover.