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1917 (2019)
Disappoints on most fronts
While I am not a full-fledged historian, the absolute hell on earth that was The Great War has always had me with my ears perked up and at full attention and upon finding out there is going to be a big hollywood film on the topic I was more or less excited about it. Granted, I don't watch trailers so I didn't know what to expect, outside a WW1 war film.
The Good:
The film really delivered when it comes to costume design, there was great attention to detail, albeit some pieces were anachronistic, but that is negligible.
The lighting was great and in some scenes absolutely key, combined with the decent camera work and filming locations it shapes up as a very aesthetically pleasing film.
The Bad:
I was really hoping for a more-or-less realistic depiction of WW1. Needless to say, this was NOT it. I am not one for gratuitous gore and guts, but it's hard to overstate how much of a Hieronymous Bosch-esque horror trench warfare in The Great War was and I was really hoping that would be featured in the film. It's obvious they tried to point that out, but it seemed extremely tame, both in scale and in intensity.
The script is pretty basic, which in itself wouldn't be bad, however too many things just happen out of plot convenience which defeats the purpose of keeping the plot simple.
Scenes just require a ridiculous amount of suspension of disbelief, especially when it comes to shootouts.
To those interested in learning about WW1:
Dan Carlin's "Blueprint for Armageddon" does a fantastic job at providing both a very educational and (gruesomely) entertaining take on the war. Lengthy as it may be, I think every second of it is worth listening.
Jojo Rabbit (2019)
Pretty, but naive and myopic
The good: nice camerawork, pretty costume design, overall nice cinematography and lighthearted comedic moments
The bad: extremely naive take on the atrocities of war, boring and predictable plot and overall the execution is very "safe" while masquerading as something daring and original.
The concept has the potential to be a groundbreaking film, but it falls way short of it.
You (2018)
Oh please...
All the characters are barely 2 dimensional caricatures. Plot holes and logical leaps a-plenty. Things just happen out of plot convenience, twists come out of nowhere, none of it earned. This is the type of show made for dumb people to feel smart while watching, much like Dexter (as it draws obvious comparisons), except Dexter had a couple of redeemable characters and a somewhat-but-not-really original concept.
Moonraker (1979)
Did someone order the fondue?
As someone who was born in the Pierce Brosnan era of Bond and having seen only the Sean Connery and later Daniel Craig iterations, and having no specific warmth towards the franchise, I must admit I probably won't give the most objective opinion possible. That being said, I had a great time watching Moonraker. It was spectacularly cheesy, making me laugh with absolute sincerity on many occasions from the very introductory scene, where two randos simply jack a shuttle being carried on top of an airplane. And that's not even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to ridiculousness. Several times I had to remind myself I am not watching an episode of Archer, but it's hardly surprising, since the latter has always drawn inspiration from the pulpy side of spy fiction. I just had no idea until now, how pulpy it can get!
I just have one question. Does Dr. Goodhead, give good...you know.
Black Mirror: Smithereens (2019)
Despite the plot holes
Easily a great episode, despite the glaring plot holes when it comes to tactical thinking and execution.
The implications at large in the episode are much more central to the plot, outside the obvious "don't text and drive" message, but they require some critical thought and prior knowledge of some concepts in the "science" part of the sci-fi label.
Black Mirror: Metalhead (2017)
No hand holding
A solid episode for those who can conceptualize all the implications. If you're looking for something that holds your hand the entire way, explaining what you should think and take out of the episode move on, this is not for you.
If you want to see a relentless murderous toaster, capable of evoking fear unlike most Hollywood horror films this one's for you.
Krampus (2015)
Spend your time whacking yourself with a spoon on the forehead
This review has been brought to you by our sponsor: Krampus. No really, the film barely earns a 3/10 in my opinion. Literally the only saving graces are the art direction, the practical effects and the fact that it's a compact (by today's standards) 90 something minutes. The plot is weak and contrived, the characters are trite stereotypes, the dialogue is unremarkable at best and cringe worthy at a few instances, and the acting is sub par for the most part. I appreciate they tried to do something unexpected in with the ending, but really all the twists in the span of 5 minutes were just excessive and forced. You're better off watching "The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon" 9 times in a row.
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
Uninspired sequel, to a kind-of-entertaining flick
*A few spoilers bellow, nothing too big* The plot was pretty boring, and predictable. From the very moment Khan hands a vial of his blood to the guy that detonates the "data storage" you know it's gonna deus ex machina the hell out of the last 15 minutes of the movie. Combat scenes were uninspired at best and the shaky camera work doesn't make the combat look more dynamic or exciting, it actually really bugged me, like it does in every other action scene recently. Shaking the lens off your camera is no excuse for bad fight choreography.
There were several plot "oversights" I will not mention, but what really got me was the scene where the meeting between all the captains and admirals is held. For someone who has been bred to be a war machine Khan really does neglect his flanks, even when hits are being registered on his right, he completely ignores Kirk. Who does that? Not a battle hardened, strategic master of combat, that's for sure. What were Khan's motives for saving the away team on Kronos anyway? He could have easily let them get wiped out and still negotiated with Sulu for his crew. He would have had no fault for their death. As far as acting and script goes Chris Pine was just painful to watch. There isn't a shred of Kirk in that man. All the Original Series references and homages were really forced. Every time Bones opened his mouth it felt awkward and out of place. As much as I like Zachary Quinto he definitely is a shoddy Vulcan. Benedict Cumberbatch's performance on the other hand was fantastic. It was a bit too reminiscent of his Sherlock perhaps, but he did good nonetheless. Definitely one of the better villains in recent years, he had a really menacing presence in every scene, save for the couple of instances of combat stupidity.
And then there was Alice Eve... I can't even wrap it around my head how pointless her character was. I hate to think that Abrams wrote her in the script, I'd rather think she was a product of producer meddling, because they just wanted some eye candy at one point or another. All in all I was disappointed by the script and a good portion of the acting. Not to mention the extreme scarcity of extra terrestrial characters. We got a few minutes of Klingons getting whooped, and that was about it for the relevance of other races (except for Spock). The very human-centric cast was a huge blunder, as we got to see at least a couple of characters that you just want to know more about, like the android guy and the scaly lady on bridge. Not to mention Keenser, that was just such a disappointing and stupid way to use the character. He was...well...nothing. He just was. Speaking of wasted potential - how about some more scenes of Terran life? The ones that were there were definitely interesting.
My rating is 6/10 because despite all the shortcomings it's still a rather entertaining film and Benedict Cumberbatch's performance lends greatly to that.
Parker (2013)
Every other Jason Statham film ever made
Parker, a.k.a. "Every other Jason Statham film ever...but this time with a ten gallon". I won't be going in a detailed review, because if you've seen one Jason Statham flick you've seen every Jason Statham flick. Don't believe me? Here are some common trends I've noticed across his other films also present in this one: 1. Obligatory scene where he runs away from the hospital, minutes after waking up from being shot, beaten and/or mauled by a bear - check. 2. Semi-anonymous protagonist that is just a ridiculous badass for no apparent reason - check. 3. Whatever dubious activities he takes part in are explained to the viewer as honorable in a "everyone gets dirty" kind of way, because you know, JS has a code he adheres to and that automatically makes crime acceptable - check. 4. Women are magnetically compelled to his junk by his mere presence - check. Fast and fancy cars, because. (No I didn't forget the rest of the sentence) - check. 5.Walking around seemingly unfazed with broken appendages, ribs, collar bones, multiple gunshot wounds, knife stabbing wounds and/or bear mace - check.
All and all it's an okayish film, if you've never seen another Jason Statham flick before, but at this point it's just stupid to keep casting him in the same role, in the same film, over and over. It's obvious he's not a brilliant actor, but he has a lot more to offer than what is currently being churned out. Speaking of acting don't get me started on Jeniffer Lopez - her acting is just wince-inducing. Apparently the director thought the same and cast her in the film as a walking butt to centre shots around in the time Jason is off screen, presumably to make JS' male fans feel less awkward and have an excuse about having an erection throughout the movie, because we all know how unsure of themselves "bros" are.
It's a completely forgettable film you will probably regret paying actual real world money to see, because you will feel like you've seen this film at least 4 other times.