Pretty rubbish. That's about the easiest way i can sum this up. James (a loser) hires Ampersand (a pick up artist) to help him snare the girl of his dreams, who then turns out to be selfish and mean. With that, he realises that his best friend (a hot girl) was there for him all along and liked him just the way he was. Not the most original story. Comparisons with the plot of Hitch and Crazy Stupid Love are obvious. But to put this film in the same category as those two would be a grave mistake indeed. I love Independent British films. I love finding hidden gems, or spotting new talent in smaller films, and then watching their careers grow. However, this is not a hidden gem. There are no new talents to be discovered here. The faces we recognise (Richard E. Grant, Martin Compston, Neil Maskell, Colin Salmon, Sheridan Smith, Jill Halfpenny, Craig Conway) can all chalk this one down to 'keeping busy.' They will all undoubtedly continue onwards in their careers and see this as a mere blip. Not sure anyone who was trying to make a name for themselves with this one will be as lucky. Gemma Atkinson, who would have seen this as a chance to put the lad mags behind her and get some credibility comes up short. Here she plays the object of the central character James' desires, but as said, she is revealed to be shallow and selfish. Atkinson doesn't really show any range or charisma, and on the evidence of this wont be working in anything of a higher quality anytime soon. Simon Phillips who plays the loser in the title, James, is quite honestly appalling. He seems to spend most of the film playing a severe caricature of what I assume he thinks is a geek. Every Cliché is present and accounted for. Fat, check, glasses, check etc, etc. He seems to have only two emotions, and both of them appear to involve an OTT gurning facial expression. Although Im sure everyone can relate to the difficulty of finding a partner - the real big problem was that I just didn't like James. Maybe it's because of the way he was written, but I think Phillips performance took me out of what was already a bad film and left me with very little to enjoy from watching it. He over played every scene. The Director, Dominic Burns must be commended for managing to attract the solid supporting cast mentioned earlier, but then immediately berated for wasting their talents with this guff. Any subtlety to be found in the jokes was wringed out of it and replaced with BIG bravado and hammy,contrived delivery. He cant seem to make up his mind as to what this film is? Is it a romantic comedy. (No. It's not romantic. Or very funny.) Is it a balls out gross sex comedy. (No. It's crass, but again, not funny.) Is it an office/Curb awkward embarrassing type chuckle? (No. It's embarrassing, but only because it's not funny.) I feel like I am being harsh, but it's just that I cant think of many positives in this film. It's utterly charmless and quite boring.
Reviews
4 Reviews
Superman: Requiem
(2011)
Woeful
29 December 2011
Where to start? At the positive. Superman Requiem is a really ambitious attempt by a group of amateur film makers who have seemingly come together to make a home movie that picks up events following Superman 2. The plot largely centres around Superman/Clark kent's return to find that Lois has fled to London. He is left to rebuild, and we focus on his subsequent battle with the son of Lex Luther who seeks personal revenge. Again, I want to make a point in commending the film makers for actually getting this film made, given that due to copyright and intellectual property this will have certainly been entirely self funded and everyone will have worked for free due to their love of the source material. The home made special effects are also decent enough at first glance. Unfortuanately, that's all the positives right there. The direction is shambolic, with absolutely no fluidity to any of the scenes, most of the camera work is stiff and you can tell that 'action' has just been called as each new scene starts. The acting is dreadful. Martin Richardson is a very unlikely Superman not only in his slight and gangly build, but in his awkward delivery, appearing almost embarrassed at the dialogue he is forced to spout. Stacy Sobieski fares little better as Superman's new love interest, coming across wooden and disinterested for the most part. Beyond the two leads there are some truly shocking supporting performances. Alex Luther is somewhat watchable but his crew of henchman are utterly terrible. I did quite well to get past the opening 5 minutes of the film, given that the acting was so poor in the 'set up.' Children's nativity plays are more believable. That said, this has to be forgiven considering that it is a fan film and that these are not professionals. With that view, I hope that they enjoyed the experience and will keep a DVD of their movie but leave film making to the professionals from now on.
Bronson
(2008)
Danish delight
4 November 2011
Nicolas Winding Refn proves yet again that he is one of the most interesting directors working today. In lesser hands this could have been all brawn, no brains or heart. His direction and the script allow Hardy to chew scenery, but never be anything less than absolutely captivating. The cheeky asides, that play out in Bronsons head to a live audience are well judged and add light relief to the dark subject matter. It's truly a great piece of work, and whilst not quite reaching the dizzying heights of Pusher 1 and 2, it certainly shows that Winding Refn is ready for the big time. Hardy, has since shown that he is a versatile and extremely talented actor, whose face can hint at so much energy behind the eyes. Simply brilliant.
Bonded by Blood
(2010)
Yawn
4 November 2011
How many times will low budget tales about these Essex lads need to be told. The film made no effort to show anything other than the tough guy 'gangster' side of Tucker or Tate. They were thoroughly unlikeable, and whilst Hassan gives a decent performance, I still couldn't care less about the fate of his gobby bully. Stone, meanwhile fares less well. Not sure what this guys background is, but he's not a very convincing tough guy. I think he has a slight speech impediment which may have been a character choice, but it didn't seem right for the part. I didn't believe him at all, and he only really seems to have one emotion. Angry swearing. The direction is competent without ever being very imaginative, and the film does seem to have been put together quite well, zipping along at a good old pace. It's not a terrible film, it's just not really very interesting. It's been done better, many times, before. There is a very clear market for these films, and I guess whilst this obsession with cockney geezers remains we can expect more offerings like this one. Shame.
Tell Your Friends