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Passengers (I) (2016)
5/10
Almost brilliant sci-fi romance
28 December 2016
I feel I should preface this review by saying, I enjoyed the film for what it was. 'Passengers' is, ultimately, a shallow popcorn flick with very little depth, but it doesn't necessarily start out that way.

Chris Pratt provides some worthy acting here as Jim Preston, a mechanic whose "pod" malfunctions during interstellar travel and leaves him completely alone. That is until Aurora Lane (Jennifer Lawrence as Jennifer Lawrence) wakes up and joins him in his state of seemingly perpetual loneliness while their ship, the Avalon, travels for another 90 years to their new home planet.

The first two-thirds of this film explore some very interesting themes. However, this is Hollywood, so the film rushes into a final act which amounts to your standard sci-fi action thriller and quickly slaps an ending together that we can all feel (mostly) good about.

The two stars aren't by any means terrible. They are mostly correct, and only sometimes feel disingenuous. However, I wouldn't call their roles challenging, and all I ultimately saw was two movie stars playing dress up. That's not awful, or at least it doesn't have to be, but it doesn't help the film avoid devolving into cliché, which it does, over and over and over again.

Usually in film's like this one, it's a nice surprise when an actor truly stands out for their performance. The film belongs to Pratt, and Lawrence is ultimately sort of just there, but neither one of them really bring anything particularly exciting to the table. I'm always bothered when people call Lawrence a progeny and this film perfectly illustrates my feelings on her (and Pratt for that matter). She's fine, just fine. Watchable, but by no means outstanding. That said, there is enough chemistry and sweetness between them to make you believe they love one another.

Special effects are lacking, but there is one scene that is mildly thrilling involving water, though it is given away in the trailer.

If you're in the mood for a popcorn flick that will entertain you for a few hours, go see this one. Just do not expect to be blown away.
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4/10
Sex and the City film adaptation insults HBO series of same name
19 December 2013
'Sex and the City,' based on the hilarious, poignant HBO comedy series of the same name, is grossly insulting. In a strong divorce from the series, the movie picks up five years after the series finale - where we find out that each one of the characters have become vapid, soulless versions of their former selves. Now, writer Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), and her friends Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), and Charlotte Goldenblatt (Kristen Davis) walk around New York obsessing over shoes, handbags, and love.

Carrie Bradshaw was, at the end of the show, an independent woman - not the needy girl she started out as. The movie turns it's back on Carrie's development as a character, shaping her into the stock romcom lead. Think Katherine Heigl with no charm. She is now painfully unfunny, shallow, and quite possibly retarded. She spends the first half the film setting herself up to have the man whom supposedly loves her jilt her - which he does. The second half of the film, Carrie spends complaining about literally everything, dying her hair brown, and discussing bags and love with a painfully useless, annoying Jennifer Hudson, as Carrie's new assistant Louise from Saint Louis.

CARRIE: "Louise from Saint Louis. Oh you brought me back to life." LOUISE: "And you gave me, Louise Vuitton."

Yes the writer of "The Real Me" and "A Woman's Right To Shoes" actually wrote this garbage.

Lawyer Miranda is now a frigid shrew who swats her deadbeat husband away like a fly every time he tries to get near her - and spends the entire 2.5 hours complaining about how marriage changed her, it made her move to Brooklyn. She is no longer likable, funny, or smart.

Meanwhile, housewife Charlotte spends the 2.5 hours prancing around like a little girl, screaming at the top of her lungs, and carrying her confused, Asian daughter around like a dog in a handbag. The problem with continuing Charlotte's storyline on the show is her storyline came to the only logical conclusion it could have had at the end of the show. Now, it' just a retread through old territory. Davis is ultimately given a thankless role in this film.

However, it is Samantha who is given the most honest adaptation. While certainly a cartoon version of her former self, Samantha's story revolves around her inability to maintain a monogamous relationship - despite being very much in love. However the payoff is ultimately ruined as Samantha is no longer human.

This incarnation of 'Sex' is so incredibly shallow - it basically acts a prop to advertise luxury goods. The most obvious scenes to illustrate this are when Carrie tries on designer wedding dresses for a Vogue shoot, which goes on for an excruciating 10 minutes, followed closely by Carrie and co. going through her closet trying to decide what to take to her new apartment with husband-to-be Big (Chris Noth). The scene is ultimately pointless as she is moving to a closet that is 10 times to the size - which, if you can imagine it - is actually a plot point in a film that will make you feel compelled to throw out every designer label you own. The show was about the importance of following your own trajectory, and self actualization. The film abandons this concept.
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