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Reviews
The Beans of Egypt, Maine (1994)
Don't Judge my Intelligence by the Amount of Stars I Gave this Horrid Film.
Okay. This is probably one of my favorite books of all time. I can't even begin to explain how they screw this up in the movie. I sat down, EXCITED and watched this film, and got up DEPRESSED and wanting to cry. It wasn't as if I was depressed by the sad content of the film, but the quality made me physically ill. Don't waste your time on it. The only reason why I gave it that one star is because the book deserves ten. The actors in this movie couldn't work out of a paper bag. I kept screaming "Where's Keanu!?" and "Why! Why!" I wish they wouldn't of made "Beans..." into a film, because this book is the one book I wanted to turn into a movie. And I think that with my minimal movie making skills, mine would look like "Citizen Kane" compared to this elementary garbage.
S.I.C.K. Serial Insane Clown Killer (2003)
Did the Actors even try?
Okay, now, when I first saw that the title of this movie was S.I.C.K., and read the plot summary, I didn't have very high expectations. But even I had no idea that this movie was as much of a waste of reel as it is. I'm just happy that I didn't pay to rent it.
This film is beyond comprehension. It's just THAT stupid. The acting is pathetic. I didn't expect Oscar-worthy performances or anything, but hey, they could've tried. Also, the gore is the fakest crap I've ever seen in my life. I think AL GORE is scarier than this movie.
I suggest EVERYBODY rent this if they want a laugh, but if you want to actually see a horror movie that chills, keep looking.