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carlos_carpio
Reviews
Betrayal: The Perfect Husband (2023)
Me, me, meeee
So this is a series with 3 episodes that could have been done in less than one but if you stretch out someone whining and whining and whining about the same thing, I guess you can stretch it out to two and do a third one that is completely unnecessary
When you're 10 to 15 minutes into the first episode, you're wondering what this docuseries is about, once you get to maybe 30 minutes you realize the whole object of this series is to show us how obsessed this woman is that she has been cheated on, how she turns this into a podcast and then this series and I'm guessing she's waiting to do the comic book, the movie and the opera about it.
It's not that I don't get that being cheated on is a terrible thing, but this woman has turned it into a reason for living it seems. It's a complete ego trip in which the really shocking part of the story gets maybe 35 minutes out of the three hours. But then, of course, as we found out in the first minutes of the first episode, she's a TV producer so at the end what she's doing is taking advantage of an opportunity to monetize a situation.
I watched two episodes thinking that sooner or later they would get to the point and then I just decided 10 minutes into the third one that it wasn't worth my time to have even seen the first 20 minutes of episode one. So I have no real idea how it ends but like I said, I'm waiting for the comic book to learn about it in a more digestible format.
Foreigner (2018)
So.....
What was really the point of this short film? The movie, if you're willing to lose 30 minutes of your life that you will never get back, seems to be about nothing or everything if you try to find or invent a sub text.
Is it a movie about doing stupid things like going into the sea at 7 PM in a place with strong currents? Is it a film? That's trying to make us feel the desperation of staring death in the face? Or is it a movie trying, unsuccessfully, to give us an idea of the trials and perils of migrant African refugees trying to row themselves to a better future?
I guess probably the only read that would make this even slightly interesting is if you invent a whole backstory to find some meaning where none seems to exist.
House of the Dragon: Second of His Name (2022)
From boring to mediocre
So far it had just been boring with lots of dragons flying around and very poor plot and character development, but in episode 3 it has managed to achieve full mediocrity.
Whoever thought that having a main character act in such a cowardly fashion as using a flag of total surrender to trick the enemy and sucker punch them really has no idea what that flag has even stood for almost 2,000 years and saying Westeros is "another land" just will not cut it for me. The act in itself is cowardly and using the scene to do a "hero shot"making him the heroic figure of the day because of it is truly mediocre. He was already a ridiculous character to begin with and he just seemed to get worse and worse every time he opens his mouth but this was just a cheery in that cake.
Victoria's Secret: Angels and Demons (2022)
Everything AND the kitchen sink
This would probably have made a good 60 to 90 min documentary but producers must have decided that rambling for 3 hours was a better idea. The last chapter, the one that's supposed to bring it all home, just goes bananas wilt every conspiracy theory out there regardless of where it comes from.
Hugely disappointing.
The King's Man (2021)
Why are negative ratings not allowed
This is a stinking pile of manure of a movie. There is just no way to critique it because I would not know where to start nor end. So many things are bad, stupid, ridiculous, over acted, under acted, poorly written, shabbily produced...... it's an endless list.
And Just Like That... (2021)
Unwatchable drivel
I don't think you can say it missed the mark as there was no need to even try to reach it.
It's like watching
a Salisbury steak TV dinner being cooked on an air fryer leaving you asking "Why? Why the F...?"
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
Decent attempt but no cigar
It falls flat on its face and it's made worse by the character and actress for Karli.
Reminiscence (2021)
2 stars for scenography
With scenography that looks like amusement park worthy the movie fails at the detective story portion as well as the technology hook portion. The first is a 1 dimensional stale story and the second never lives beyond a hook and/or crutch for the story.
The Vow (2020)
Unbearably stretched out
It's a solid good story but it would have been best to tell it in a more dynamic way in 90 minutes or 2 hours max. The desire to turn this into 9 episodes Is poor storytelling and just makes it unbearable to watch after the third episode.
Hart's War (2002)
It barely manages to crawl itself along
There are so many things wrong with this movie the least of which is how it confuses geography history and even what the relationship between a POW and the chief of the camp would've been, I don't care if it's Bruce Wilis or not he's a POW. The worst part and have the movie never messages to catch on and tell a story right which considering how simple the story is is highly disappointing it just creeps in closets way until it reaches the end and you are left with the feeling that you just lost two hours of your life watching something that does not lead to anything
Holmes & Watson (2018)
Beyond idiotic
It is so bad It completely defies any description. If I had the time to spooned on it I would wonder who in their right mind green lighted this script and who was insane enough to approve the movie release
Charlie's Angels (2019)
I want a refund
Just watched this on cable and it's so amazingly bad I'm actually thinking of asking my cable provider for a refund
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (2020)
A bridge too far...
As a someone from Latin descent I can understand the bridge it wants to build between Hispanic and US cultural narratives but it fails miserably and ends up serving none in this mash up.
Maybe if it had been les ambitious about presenting everything in the first episode the rest would have fallen in place but no, it did not, and felt like they where making cartoons out of Hispanics, Americans, Germans and supernatural beings.
Locke & Key (2020)
Entertaining but clearly written by a 6 Year old
If you have nothing else to binge it's entertaining but the rationale behind many of the decisions that propel the action seem the product of a child. Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys has better reasonings
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Lazy
With the exception of a glint here and there of some level of "greatness" this is 2 & 1/2 of bare minimum effort: lazy writing, lazy acting, lazy plot, lazy....
The only non lazy element is the piling body count that made it look like a 2 bit action movie. About 40 minutes in I was praying for the salvation of the end credits.