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Leatherface33
Reviews
Frankenstein (1931)
Has withstood the test of time and remains one of my favorite movies.
I find more and more that Frankenstein truly is one of my all time favorite movies. I can watch it all the time, because I never get sick of it. It is a classic in the true sense of the word, and has withstood the test of time and remains an extensive influence on all modern horror. The most recent "Frankenstein" was a USA made for TV movie directed by Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake's Marcus Nispel. Now, there are not many movies that are always being made and remade and remade. The eerie tale of frankenstein has existed since the 1800s when Mary Shelley wrote the class novel. Since that, Frank has been seen on the silver screen many times, including the 1950s "Curse of Frankenstein" with Christopher Lee but most notably James Whale's 1931 version. It is so short, only an hour and ten minutes, but so amazing. There is no music, and the acting is ridiculously over done. I don't know what it is about Frankenstein, but I love it. Colin Clive is amazing as the insane Dr. Frankenstein and Boris Karloff is just ridiculously amazing at lumbering about as the monster. What a kick ass movie.
Evil Dead II (1987)
Whoa, what an awesome movie.
I recently got around to seeing Evil Dead 2. I really liked the original, yet nothing prepared me for just how insanely gory and awesome this flick was. I don't really remember the plot, but it doesn't matter at all. This movie was gore. That's it. No plot, just pure unadulterated gore. Just the way I like it. Spoilers ahead: Some of the insanely cool gore effects in this film included a headless body slicing itself in half with a chainsaw, a bloody, deformed possessed fat chick spinning on the ceiling, and some chicks face being squished to the point where her eyeball pops out of its socket and lies into a person's mouth. Wow. A lot of "Spiderman" fans don't realize how disgustingly gory old Sam Raimi movies are. Well, that's all I really have to say. This movie ruled.
End of the Century (2003)
Awesome look at an awesome band.
I recently went into Red Bank, NJ for the Red Band International Film Festival, to see this film. I have seen my share of good music documentaries, and very bad music documentaries, and I have to say this this was an awesome music documentary. It told of the Ramones, the band that coined the term "punk rock". It had some of the best recent interviews with the Ramones, and even the last photographed interview of Clash front man Joe Strummer. It had excellent transitions, starting by showing the Ramones forming in New York and playing Stooges covers and ending with they're induction into the rock 'n' roll hall of fame and Joey and DeeDee's deaths. I learned many things I did not know, including the fact that "the KKK took my baby away" is said to be about Johnny stealing Joey's girlfriend. I also learned that Joey and Johnny were political opposites, Joey being a liberal and Johnny being a hardcore republican. I recall it being long, but I can't remember because it was so awesome I was paying acute attention the whole time. 9 out of 10. Minus one because I will never live to see a better music documentary.
Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
I liked it.
I recently watched the silent film "Nosferatu." I usually keep an open mind with movies, but I really didn't think I was going to enjoy this. But, I actually liked it. A lot. For a black and white movie made in 1922 with no sound, it was an amazing movie. It was the first ever movie version of Dracula, and it had extremely wacky, over the top acting, which was highly entertaining. Although it was supposedly a horror movie, I though it was very comical and wild, but I mean that in a good way. It was extremely long, get it held my attention, probably more-so than the 30s Dracula with Bela Lugosi. All in all, it was really good, and a horror classic no doubt, that spawned a legacy like no other.
Saw (2004)
The Best Film of 2004
Wow. This movie proved to me that not all modern horror movies suck. Nowadays directors can never stick to their vision. There always has to be a peaceful message at the end, a moral to the story, or a happy ending. Not in "Saw". I was amazed with everything in this movie. It was deeply disturbing, with horrifying imagery. They really don't make movies like this anymore. It was comparable to older horror gems like Night of the Living Dead and Carnival of Souls and Dementia 13. It had a frightening, sad ending that left me and the people I saw it with having an uneasy, creepy feeling, a feeling I haven't felt since I saw the original 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The plot was amazing, so creepy, about a maniacal lunatic that tortures people in sadistically morbid ways. The acting was so-so, and it had its share of minor plot holes, but this is all stuff I thought of later. The duration of this film, I was in heaven. I forgot all my problems in life, and I was just sitting there rooting for these people to survive, and cringing at the horrors that lay before me. I was legitimately angry when it was over, because I was enjoying it so much. There was no moral to the story, no happy ending, just horror. Horror at its gory, disturbing, macabre best. The best film I saw in 2004, by far. Bravo, I will surely be picking up this when it comes out on video and DVD. I really wish all modern horror movies would be awesome like this.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
SOOOO disappointing.
SPOILERS First off, let me say I am outraged at the film's PG-13 rating. Here's a
quick overview of AvP: There were no trademark "Predator" skinned bodies. The only "Alien" chest-busting scene is an eight of a second long and it
is cut immediately after the aline bursts out, so u see absolutely
nothing gory. There was no huge, climactic, epic scene with heards of predators
charging into heards of aliens. There was no definitive winner. EVERY Predator stab is edited either so you see the person being stabbed
from the chest up, so you CANT SEE THE STAB, or it is edited so you see
the predator swing, and then cut to a small splash of blood on the
ground. No nudity. Barely any swearing. Stupid plot.
And that's about it. The plot is something ridiculous, along the lines
of that the Predators brought the Aliens into existence in order for
them to have a fun game of hunting. There wasn't a difinitive winner,
just like Freddy vs. Jason, however FvJ had a very interesting cool plot
, AND it had adult content and GORE, unlike AvP. It sucked. ..........
The Village (2004)
I loved it.
M. Night Shyamalan is a genius. That's the only word I can think of
describing him. When watching The Village, it was as though he was
reading my mind and the movie changed according to my thoughts. And I
don't mean that it was predictable. SPOILER AHEAD During the first half or so of the movie, I thought that it was a cool
plot, but I just didn't feel the tension and fear of the townspeople.
There were creatures in the woods, and when Jaquien Phoenix's character
entered the woods, I just didn't find myself frightened for what would
happen to him. Why? I have no idea, but later on in the film, when you
learn there are no creatures, it turned out there was nothing to harm
him. So, I didn't feel scared, and it turned out there was nothing to be
scared of! How Night did this, God only knows. All in all, I just thought this was a great movie. Good visuals, good
pop-out scary moments, and an amazing script. The twist at the end was
awesome, to say in the least, and I didn't find it disappointing at all.
The only part of the movie that angered me was the end. Because I didn't
want it to end, because I was enjoying it so much. ............
Dumb and Dumber (1994)
My all time favorite movie.
I've been thinking and thinking, and I have finally realized something: Dumb and Dumber is my favorite movie. No movie I've seen before can make me laugh or amuse as much as dumb and dumber. I would honestly say its nothing short of brilliant. The Farelly brothers use clever comedy to confidently conjure an extremely crazy yet impressively deep storyline. I've seen all there stuff, and I really think this is the best. Well, as I said before it is my favorite movie of all time. Its about Loyd Christmas and Harry Dunn, two idiotic best buds who embark on a marvelous adventure, and eventually foil an insane mobsters plot, all the while having no idea their doin it. How this happens would spoil the fun of course. Jim Carrey is amazing and at his best, as the more insane of the two buds, and Jeff Daniels is perfect as the more calm, slight more intelligent member of the dynamic duo, even though calling him bright would be a stretch. Beyond that, I really cant describe how great this movie is. Its my all time fave and it should be yours to. So go rent it. Now.......................
The Big Lebowski (1998)
I loved it!
After watching the Big Lebowski numerous times, I really have had no
change of opinion between each viewing. I loved it! To me, The Big
Lebowski is a classic movie, and one that I find myself watching over
and over, and never getting sick of. With the Coen brothers, you either
like it or hate it, theres no middle ground. After asking people about
The Big Lebowski, Fargo, and O Brother Where Art Thou, I found several
people who hated them all, and many that loved them all. As for me, I
love them all, and I can't wait till there next film. Although I realize
I've given no description whatesoever of the actual movie, I can say its
an epic bizarre comedy, and, well just a good movie. Like, really good.
One of my favorites. .......
The Punisher (2004)
It is beyond words how stunningly amazing this movie was.
Spoilers for anyone who doesn't regularly read Punisher comics.
Wow. It's been a long time since I've seen one of those hypnotizing
movies where you're so awestruck you sit in a daze as the credits in
their entirety scroll by. The Punisher was one of these movies. There
really exists no word I can think of to describe it. Captivating,
amazing, spectacular, brilliant, and awesome are some that come to ones
head, yet no word out there could really describe how awesome this movie
was. It had everything a punisher fan, comic fan, super hero fan, action
flick fan, or movie fan could ever want. It stayed true to the comic,
incorporating the "piercing ripping" and "ice pop interrogation" scenes.
It had Harry Heck and The Russian as minor bad guys, and John Travolta
was amazing in his maniacal role as Howard Saint. The Punisher was chock
full of cool lines, great action sequences, plenty of storyline, a
cleverly executed family-kill scene, and totally awesome kills, many
which were much like those that decorate the pages of "Punisher"
comicbooks. Many newspaper reviews all said that The Punisher was just
mindless killing with no plot. Any true fan of movies can see that there
was actually an original plot, with , get this, intelligence! All in
all, this was just amazing. Stunning. Super. See this movie. Now.
NOW!!!!
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
A bit disappointing, but well done nonetheless.
#spoilers# Remakes are never as good as the original. Why should this be any different? The new Dawn was, and this was no shocker, disappointing.
There were too many characters, and no originality in any of them. In the original Dawn, there are four main characters, and they each have positive and negative recognizable traits. In this new Dawn, believe it or not, I now have trouble even rememberings what happened to who. There were just too many people held up in the mall. I'm not talking like 6. Im talking like 15. The script seemed to be just throwing characters in to have more deaths. The original Dawn had four characters, and only 2 of the 4 (if i remember correctly) survive. In this movie, well nevermind I shouldn't give away the ending. Also, the characters get to the mall way too quickly. The characters didn't stumble upon a landing space like in the original, one of them goes, "We're going to the mall." Then, they're their. Also, some of the sequences of the characters held up in the mall dragged on. However, the original put aside, this movie had some good gory action, awesome looking zombie, and the one thing they seemed to overlook in the original: CHAINSAWS!!! Hopefully the dvd will have some extra deleted gore scenes. Obviously they couldn't top the gore of the original and still maintain an R raiting. Finally, they made a stupid idea by showing the conclusion of the film in bits and pieces during the credits, so only the few people who actually sat through the credits and didn't leave got to see the "official" ending.
So, if you go see this, sit through all the credits! All in all, some points off for making it boring at times, and eliminating stuff from the original. Points on for action, gore, cool zombies, and chainsaw action.
Okay, there were actually some pretty creative ideas. Oh yeah and it wasn't scary either. I give it 6 out of 10. ..
Sid and Nancy (1986)
A great movie, but especially great for Sex Pistols fans.
This was a great movie for any fans of drama, and this was also very
close to being completely true. They had Sid Vicious' mom on the set to
make it as real as possible, and the necklace Gary Oldman wore was the
necklace that actually belonged to Sid Vicious. This had really good
acting too, even though the woman who played Nancy was a tad over the
top at times. This movie even had a few laughs, like when Sid and Nancy
go to Nancy's for dinnner. But, being a Sex Pistols fan I especially
enjoyed this movie, because there were performances of actual Sex
Pistols songs, sung by the actor of Jonny Rotten. I though they might do
this and have him lip synch to the actual song, but his singing voice
was actually pretty close on sound to Jonny Rotten. All in all, this was
a great movie, and it delivers an especially in depth interest with Sex
Pistols fans. 9 out of 10 . . .
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Awesome make-up effects, and not a bad movie
This movie, to me, is a rare exception to horror movies. The way I think many people think, is that a good horror movie makes you scared, and that a mindless gorefest will not scare you as much as psychological fear will. This is an exception because the purely grotesque make-up effects can actully evoke dread. Just looking at some of the creepy creatures from "13 Ghosts" is enough to freak some people out. Of course the movie overall wasnt too great, but this is one of those where the visual effects actually CAN make up for a crappy storyline. Also, the make-up effects guys were smart to make each ghost look different, and to have each one be unique as a stand-alone. Any one of the ghosts from this movie could be in a movie of their own, explaining how they were created, how they were killed, etc. Unfortunately, I think that the usually comical Tony Shaloub was really a bad choice of casting, because he really doesnt seem like the kind of guy to play a victim in a horror movie, and his acting was not so great. Dont get me wrong, hes a good actor, but horror really doesnt seem like his thing. However, Matt Lilliard was really good, and even added a comical sense to the usually dull thought of a "ghost hunter." Overall, I say 7 out of 10. Minus 3 for bad casting choices and a stupid storyline, plus 7 for awesome, fear-evoking make-up effects. A must see for horror fans. ..
Jason X (2001)
An awesome explosion of sci-fi action and horror. A brilliant and visceral spin in the F13 series.
***spoilers*** Jason X was an awesome explosion of action and horror, and was a brilliant, visceral spin to the Friday the 13th series. This took a much needed break from the scantily-clad-teens-being-hacked-up-in-the-forest plot, and has pretty much the same, but in SPACE. This had it all. No delaying. Bloody kill by bloody kill, to the very last bloody kill, this was awesome. Also, I loved the Cyber-Jason. It's like the lamberghini of Jason outfits. I really thougt this whole movie was just awesome. The environments, and the creativity were truly dazzling. Also, there were extremely awesome CGI effects. Many of the kills were computer animated, and this film got creative. Jason doesn't just grab you and choke you, he grabs you, sticks your face in liquid nitrogen, and smashes your face into icy smithereens on the counter top. He also uses a multitude of new weapons, including a souped up machete, and a spiky chain. Every detail that was established in all the other F13 films were utilized here to, plus more. Jason CAN NOT DIE. This is really the first film that has that down pat. It wasn't til one of the later sequels (I believe it was the 5th) where Jason is actually brought back from being dead. In this, he has his head blown off, and his legs and arms too. He seems dead. But, those damn robo spiders fix him up. Many parts of this movie were like "Star Trek" meets "Friday the 13th" but after seeing it, that was actually a smart move. The time and effort of the makers paid off, and this was a much needed break from the nonstop F13 sequels, plus more. Any horror or action fan should see this. 9 out of 10. .
Halloween (1978)
Not much to say, a very creepy classic.
Not much to say about "Halloween" but that it was creepy, and that it
was a classic. Every shot, every sequence, every visionary was played
out for the ideal length to create an ideal amount of fear. There wasn't
much of a plot, but this movie wasn't exactly made to win an oscar. It
was made to scare, and it accomplishes its purpose. The acting was good,
and it had very frightening plot points leading to a cool climax. A
definite classic, and way better than the sequels. 8 out of 10. ......
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Awesome. One of the coolest horror movies ever made.
I think Freddy Kreuger is a truly unique character. Other horror kings,
like Jason and Michael and Leatherface, use masks to hide their
identity. The fear dwell on what unforseen horrors could lie under the
masks eminating "pure evil". Freddy is much different because his burned
distorted face is what makes him him. And it is damn creepy too. While
all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies were actually really good,
(alot better that "Jason goes to Hell" ha ha ha ha ha) I think the
original has to take the cake as the best of the series. I definitely
consider myself a horror fan, and I don't really put movies above other
movies in a list of my favorite. My fave is Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but
Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street are definitely
close. This movie also had some really cool effects that really were
seldom or never seen before. For example, Johnny Depp's death, where
he's sucked into his bed and all the blood splashes out. That was
awesome. I also think that the idea of being killed in your dream and
having it happen in real life is a very creative idea. It was always,
get stabbed by a knife, get chopped with an ax, get sawed with a
chainsaw, but Nightmare on Elm Street introduced, get slashed to death
in your sleep. I think that using the idea where, "if you go to sleep
you're going to die because Freddy kills you in your dreams" really was
a pretty cool concept that probably freaked a bunch of people out. I
personally was never really scared by this and just saw it as a
director's tool to "scare viewers even after the movie is over."
However, all in all, this is one of the coolest horror movies ever made.
It had unique and creative stuff in it. I give it a 9 out of 10.
Empire Records (1995)
A funny and witty movie. Highly recommended for and fans of the rock music genre.
I was actually very impressed with this movie. Not only did it pack laugh-out-loud funny moments, but it even had a moral of friendship and love deep down. It had an awesome climax, a great ending, good acting, and some skillfully executed dramatic moments. Any fan of the rock genre will love this movie too. I like mostly old punk and some new stuff as well, and this movie had tunes from AC/DC and even cool original music (at least I think its original) that Renee Zellwegger sings. All in all, I praise the skillfully witty humor, and the moral that, and I know it's corny, you can accomplish great things if you stick by your friends. It is also quite entertaining to see Liv Tyler flip out after being criticized for a speed addiction, (generally not one of Liv Tyler's roles) and the character of "Lucas" is hilarious with his insightful views. So, if you are into modern or old rock music, check this out. As for me, 10 out of 10. ......
Just Kidding! This movie sucked. 0 stars.
Office Space (1999)
A hilarious, well put together satire. Actually one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
****spoilers****Office Space was, in one word, hilarious. I also think
alot of people can relate to it. It has gotta be every cubicle worker's
dream to live the life of "Peter Gibbons." This was really just a
hilarious scene after hilarious romp. However, the one thing I really
could have done without was the all-rap soundtrack. Now a little rap in
a movie can be okay, and if the movie is "8 Mile" I certainly
understand, but come on. When they are installing the virus: RAP. When
they are beating up the fax machine: RAP. Right after Peter decides to
stop going to work: RAP. An of course rap played as the end credits
scrolled. Other than that minor fact, I immensly enjoyed this movie.
This script doesn't waste time and deal with sophisticated humor. It is
as slapstick as it comes, and does it damn well. For example, just
seeing the character of "Milton" mumble about his stapler and the
constant moving of his desk, and then mutter, "....set the building on
fire...." is hilarious. And watching the main characters scream at the
fax machine is hilarious too. This has a great plot, characters, and it
is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. 8 out of 10. Minus two
points for the overuse of rap. ....
Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne (2003)
Just as excellent as the first Max Payne, but sometimes almost too much like it.
Let's face it. Max Payne is one of the greatest, most addicting video
games ever created. Surely I was excited out of my mind when I learned
of the sequel coming out. However, I was not entirely impressed with the
sequel as I was with the original. I think nothing like Max Payne had
ever been made before, which is why the original game took so many
people by storm. This new sequel, "The Fall of Max Payne" is almost
identical to its predecessor, even to go as far as having some levels in
the original game revisited here. Also, it seems the creators tried to
up the graphics, but I think the less-than-perfect graphics of Max
Payne, like his always the same look face, and the hands going through
the gun occasionally, define what Max Payne is. Also, there is just an
element that isn't there. You don't feel the pain, and follow the story
as though you are in it as it was in the first one. You are merely an
observer here. Also, the game tries to be "cool" I guess, buy using the
"f-word" repeated time. Although it is cool to finally hear video game
characters swearing, alot of the time it is unnecessary, and adds
nothing to the game. However, all in all, it's a decent sequel, and most
of the traits that made the first Payne famous, like bullet time, are
here. But a little originality wouldn't have hurt. 6 out of 10.
13th Child (2002)
Stupid, fake, boring, and weird, yet a title no Jersey Devil fan should be without seeing.
****spoilers****"13th Child" was really a terrible movie. The acting was bad, the script was worse, and it was one of the least scary horror movies I've ever seen. However, this is still a movie that any Jersey Devil fan would be pleased by. I am a New Jersean, and I have heard all the folklore surrounding the Jersey Devil, and was excited to see this movie. I was partially pleased by it, in the sense that this was a Jersey Devil horror movie, and there was a pretty clever twist. For any average Joe person, I can see why this movie would seem awful. There were parts that were stupid, and there were incredibly boring parts. But, as I said before, Jersey Devil fans will be pleased nontheless. Also, my final and biggest criticism would have to be the way in which the Jersey Devil was portrayed. I have always pictured the Jersey Devil as being vicious and volatile, almost like a velociraptor. In this, the Jersey Devil is a lumbering guy in a costume, with mechanical jaws that move up and down. I think that a more suitable look would be perhaps a computer generated devil. I really think a big-budget Hollywood Jersey Devil movie should be made, just because this independent movie didn't have the money to create the look that I think many people have thought of the Jersey Devil as. Also, the corpses and blood in the movie were incredibly fake. Even more fake that movies made in the 60s and 70s. So, if you're into NJ folklore, and have heard the legend of the Jersey Devil, check it out. It was crappy, boring, and stupid, and the Jersey Devil was a guy in a costume, but a pleaser for fans of the Devil. As for me, I give it a 4 out of 10. ..
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
A typical slasher, but still a great movie for Freddy and Jason fans.
This was actually a pretty cool movie. Unfortuantely, it wasn't scary,
it was just your typical slasher film. A group of teens that are
horrible actors, nudity, sex, drug use, and loads of splurting guts and
blood. Slashers are not exactly my favorite type of movie, but I am a
huge fan of "Nightmare on Elm Street," but not so much of "Friday the
Thirteenth." Jason and Freddy fans will surely like this movie, and I
was impressed with many of the scenes. There were some very cool
action-packed fights between the horror heroes, and this film was
decorated with some very, very cool computer generated effects. For a
slasher fan, I highly recommend this movie. As do I for any fans of
Freddy and Jason. As for me, I give it a 6 out of 10.
Lake Placid (1999)
Wow. This is it. The worst movie ever made.
Wow. This is it. The worst movie ever made. This movie was awful. There
was nothing funny, nothing entertaining, nothing compelling about it. It
was merely a collection of horribly shot scenes, decorated with
prophanity and gore. Not even cool gore, just the kind of gore that is
stupid. It ends abruptly, and only a few people actually die in the
entire movie. It wasn't a slasher, it wasn't action-packed, and it
certainly was not horror. Oh, and the acting was terrible. In my
opinion, this was the worst movie ever made. Unless your deaf, blind,
and mute, skip this movie. .
Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)
A great horror flick as a stand-alone, but not enough like the other "Chainsaw" films.
*spoilers*This was a creepy, dark horror flick as a stand-alone, yet other than having a character named "Leatherface" with a chainsaw, it had absolutely nothing to do with the other "Chainsaw" films. In it, Leatherface and Grandpa some how suddenly end up in a new family, and although they are extremely twisted and entertaining, it's sad that there is no reference to the Cook, the Hitchhiker, or Chop Top. Also, I definitely think they made the character of Leatherface too intimidating. In the first two films, Leatherface is bossed around by his family members, yelled at, and even beaten. But, that is who he is.
He's the one that does all the work, catching victims, and then gets yelled at and beaten by his demented family anyway. However, in "Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III" he is the one who beats up on the other members in his family, like when he forces the metal handed family member to reach into the oven. That is certainly something the real Leatherface would never do. All in all, despite these flaws, this was a creepy flick, it was gory, hysterically funny, mind numbingly horrifying, and even though it wasn't like the other, you may want to take a look at it.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
A classic. That's the only way to put it.
"Dawn of the Dead" is, plain and simply, a horror classic. It is one of
the only movie sequels that is remembered as a classic. Although many
people liked "Night of the Living Dead," I think that "Dawn of the Dead"
was really in a league all its own. The fact that there were people held
up in a mall wiht zombies struck many peoples fancies. In fact, that
really WOULD be cool, escpecially because you could use everything
available in the mall. There is a remake coming in 2004, and I really
hope it doesn't suck. But this is actually a funny concept. They are
remaking a movie sequel. That would be like hearing, "Coming soon, a
ramke of 'Rambo 2'." Virtually always remakes are of the first film in a
series, like the recent "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake, and the
"Psycho" remake as well. Now when is there a sequel so awesome they
decide to make a remake of it, and not its original? Dawn of the Dead of
course. This movie has it all. The gore, the fear, the zombie action.
And for some of the zombies, and only some, the make-up is actually
decent. But that doesn't include the people with blue make up on their
face. So I have to say that I give this movie a full 10 out of 10. This
is a classic. That's the only way to put it. .......
Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)
A somewhat decent movie to some, but not funny or amusing at all to me.
All in all, this was an incredibly disappointing movie. It had a decent plot with minor holes, and the acting was for the most part decent too.
I can see why some parts made people laugh, but I did not even as much as smile through out the entire duration of the film. However, the part that really irritates me, is that there was so much potential to make it funny. There were so many parts where I thought of a dozen ways I could've improved the scene to make it funnier. Also, you are never told exactly how a college/highschool football coach and an aspiring author can support 12 kids in a mini mansion. Steve Martin has had some hilariously funny movies in the past, yet he is not funny AT ALL in this. Now I absolutely hate Ashton Kutcher, and he even had more funny lines than Steve Martin in this. However, I won't hold it against him, I hold the dreadfully dreary script accountable. Unless you're deaf and blind, you'll probably want to skip this dull excuse for a movie.