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Reviews
The Five-Year Engagement (2012)
A waste of time and money
This movie is strickly a 'by the numbers' date movie, the only problem is a lack of comedy. Considering the cast, it should have had some moments, but the lack of any real funny gags, or joke is surprising. The only thing I can think of is they cut out a lot to avoid a NC-17 rating, so it might be interesting to eventually see an unrated version, but I doubt the result would change things that much. I would consider this movie more of a drama than a comedy, because it deals with the reality of moving from one city to another, and the fact that you may think you have a career, it all really depends on the time and place. If they marketed the movie as a drama, I would have not expected to be amused, but the whole campaign is centred around the laughs surrounding an engagement, but there is nothing funny about frostbite, and amputation of body parts. It is starting to look like Jason Segal isn't as funny as everyone thought, and as he gets older, he will be less and less funny, who really wants to watch someone in their 40s act like a teenager, because he is funny now, sometimes, doing that kind of comedy, but this movie demonstrates that is the only comedy he is successful at. The supporting cast was the only interesting part of the plot, and where the movie worked, and the only reason this movie gets a very generous one star out of ten.
If you have $20 you want to waste, find a casino, or some scratch and win tickets, you WILL have a better time with either one, as opposed to this flop.
Winter Soldier (1972)
Chilling
This has to be one of the most chilling war documentaries I have ever seen. The testimony of the vets is truly shocking, the actions described are similar, if not identical, to the actions of the SS during WWII, that is what is most shocking. I have heard of some of the war crimes committed in Vietnam, but never heard that these things went on daily, and was in fact encouraged. If the average Joe could go from being mild mannered to an emotionless murderer, it shows how easily it happened in Germany years before. It is easy to see why this movie was banned when it came out, if the general public knew about what was going on, civil unrest would have been insane. This movie should be shown in schools, it will show kids what happens when you blindly 'follow orders', and what can happen to normal people in a mob setting.
Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)
The worst sequel ever made
If this movie was not a sequel of one of the best cult movies of the past 30+ years, it would just a dumb movie, the fact it is is just an insult to the memory of the original cast members who passed away. I originally saw the movie when it was released on VHS, and rented the movie for $3, in the late 90's, and I felt ripped off beyond belief. I just recently rewatched the movie, and I feel just stupid for doing so. The movie is even worse the second time around. There are no redeeming qualities, or performances, to save the movie, which has a dumbass plot, and is just boring to watch. The whole 'feud' with the russians is like what a 2 year old would do, and shows early on what a disaster the movie is. The ending is pointless, driving off into the horizon with the cops chasing. Seems like no one knew how to end the movie so they went the brainless way out, at least the first movie showed what happens when you fool with the cops, you become the prison band, which made the end of the original excellent. The only thing they could have worked is have James take over John's role, because the explanation of Jake's death is soooo stupid it's insulting. In the trivia to this movie, it says the movie was ranked 4th, out of 25, worst sequels, I would like to know what was worse than this? I would have said it IS the worst. Even giving this movie a "1" seems like a compliment, but they should add a vote of "Avoid at all costs", because this is the case for this flop. I am really disappointed with Dan Ackroyd, he is almost always good, and this movie looks like he was asleep at the wheel.
Titanic II (2010)
Suicide maybe painless, but this movie was very painful!
I rated this move one star, which was the lowest possible, but giving this film one star is giving this movie a compliment. I think Bruce Davidson's family should have an intervention for him, because he must have been on drugs to appear in this movie. Speaking of on drugs, that would be the only painless way to watch this movie. The premise is just plain silly, the science is a joke, the acting is something you'd expect from a bunch of 10 year olds with a camera, and the cast are just annoying. The ending is just plain insulting, diving into a sinking ship, and pulling two boneheads out of a locker? In the time it took Brucie to reach the locker, the ship would have been either at the ocean floor, or crush depth. The ending is just as weak as the movie, and anyone thinking of watching it don't, it is not so bad it has to be seen, it is so bad every copy must be destroyed. I watched the movie on Netflix, but I still feel ripped off, even if I watched it on TV, I'd still feel ripped off of the money and the time I'll never get back.
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)
Waste of a good cast and director.
This movie looked like a can't miss, but it sure did. An excellent cast from top to bottom, a great director, an interesting story, but somewhere it all fell apart. The scenes took toooo long to get to the point, other scenes were beaten to death with over acting, and worst of all, it looked as though the actors were asleep at the wheel. You have to wonder sometimes if the editing process kills a movie, this is one I suspect is the case, with some more editing, like taking out the long silences, would give the movie a pulse. Some movies are over cut, this one could use more. Aside from Michael Shannon, every other actor was wasted in this movie, which considering the cast, is the most annoying, and unforgivable, aspect of this movie. The ending was interesting, but like the rest of movie, took too long to get going. Too bad looked like a can't miss.
Centurion (2010)
Very good movie
I just watched the movie, and it exceeded my expectations, it seems that every movie with Fassbender these days is worth watching. The story has a good pace, good story, and the actors are very convincing in their roles. I always enjoy historical movies, as long as they stay true, or very close to, history. I have seen many movies that sacrifice history for the sake of a story, but this movie stays very close to the historical account of the times. Although it is a work of fiction, the action sequences do not cross the line to science fiction, or cartoons, and though graphic, at times, is not there to make up for a lack of a script, and if removed, the story would be unaffected. My only complaint is that I think they tipped the ending off a little bit when he leaves the witch's house, the brief pause foreshadows the ending, but doesn't make it painfully obvious, so easily forgivable.
Crank: High Voltage (2009)
Funny and entertaining
As long as you know what to expect, this movie is awesome. If you are looking for character development, or tear jerking romance, you'll be sadly disappointed. If you want non-stop mayhem, funny dialogue, and gross, but funny, action, then this is just the movie for you. Right from the start the movie is NOT meant to be taken seriously, case in point the shovel scraping off him the road is meant to be silly. This movie should have been called 'Crank 2 : F*** you Chelios', because we hear that several times throughout the movie, from different characters, and in graphics as well, one of the most original, and funny, things that has been placed in a movie, around half way through, is when the screen goes black then the graphics start. Having Bai Ling's dialogue subtitled, even though you can understand what she is saying, makes the lines that much more funny, and the part where she gets smoked by the car is like a cartoon, which every guy in the theatre laughed at, and all the women rolled their eyes at. There are a few times where the movie gets a little morbid, like the shotgun and grease scene, which some find funny but others find disgusting, again a gender thing! Also the elbow chopping and nipple removing scenes are a bit much, but are quick scenes and the movies keeps going after which. Some of the action gets creative, like the breast implant scene, or the Godzilla like fight scene at the power plant, both unique and both very original, which makes both real funny. The conversation between Venus and Orlando is hilarious, and might have to be replayed to catch everything with one line especially funny, watch and find out! **Spolier alert** The ending eludes to another possible sequel, like the blink in the first movie, and if we get a Crank movie every 3 years it makes for more laughs.
Gamer (2009)
Underrated and very entertaining.
This movie is a must see for any fan of action movies, or of Gerard Butler. The action scenes are very intense, so much so that watching this movie without 5.1 would be a waste. There are some graphic scenes, and not a movie for kids, but the movie has a very interesting idea, and is not a by the numbers action movie in any way. The movie also has some interesting twists and turns, but does not void the plot, unlike some other movies released over the past few years. If you have stayed away thinking this is another Crank type mayhem movie, it is not, and if the action scenes were toned down, the story would not suffer in any way. **Spoiler Alert** I originally found the ending disappointing, but very soon after I came to really like it. It is to the point, no 5 minute speeches, no dumbed down explanations for those who missed the point, it just gets to where its going without several detours, which we seldom see these days.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Ripoff
The movie rips off so many movies, it actually is tough to count them all, mainly because the movie is boring and pointless. The senseless violence is only surpassed by the senseless cursing and swearing, both dead giveaways that the story and plot are weak. The movie itself tries to be a 70's B horror flick and/or drive in second feature, however an original idea, and not ripping off several classics, would mean people could take zombie seriously as a writer/director, plagiarism is as unacceptable in movies as it is in all other aspects of life. In some movies the characters can, through their performances, make you hate them, but in this movie, and especially the sequel, you hate the characters because they are so annoying and braindead. Zombie's movies make Ed Wood's movies look like Academy Award winning epics, but unlike Ed Wood, no one will care in a generation, or two, about Rob Zombie's feeble movies, like the majority don't care now. You can forgive much in a movie, as long as it is an original idea, not 50 different movies we have all seen several times. The ending is so obvious a two year old can see it coming, and like the rest of the movie, HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE, if otis would have been dressed like Santa Claus at least it would be original and somewhat funny. This movie apparently sat unreleased for a few years, if only is stayed shelved, the world could have been without the devils rejects, which might have given a real writer/director a chance to make something worth watching, but instead zombie went and ruined one of the best horror movies of all time, by a REAL writer/director John Carpenter, with ANOTHER unoriginal movie/ripoff.
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Dumb, pointless, glorification of violence with no plot, and no clue. Watching paint dry would be a more productive use of your time.
This movie is one of the worse pieces of crap ever made. Everything that was said about Natural Born Killers, should be applied to this 'film', for lack of a better term. The only thing this movie illustrates, is that any idiot with a gun can think they are tough, and that they can then impose their will on others, what a wonderful message! If anything this 'film' shows why tougher gun control is a great idea, and what is shown on TV needs to be reexamined. To say this 'film' has senseless violence, would be an understatement, and that most of the gore is just the glorification of violence, again what a message! If I actually paid money to watch this filth, I'd be seriously annoyed, but wasting time to watch it is annoying enough, the only reason I waste more time writing about it is to save others from watching this pathetic 'film'. The ending only confirmed that zombie is trying to make the serial killers the 'heros' of the movie, with the stupid montage during the final shootout, which is just insane, how can anyone, who is of sane mind, identify with these 'heros'? The best part of the movie is the end credits. This 'film' looks like something some disturbed teenage boys threw together for laughs, not something from an adult, or at least someone who can be charged as one! If zombie is financing his own movies, that is bad enough, but if he is actually getting money from studios for filth like this movie, then the studios need to be shut down. The rating of this 'film' is a 1, only because a lower number to assign is unavailable.
Don't You Forget About Me (2009)
Interesting and worth watching
This is a very good documentary. The film makers were able to get interviews from plenty of actors who were in Hughes' films, as well as talking to the always funny Kevin Smith, who I assumed after watching Dogma, hated Hughes films, based on the two separate attacks that occurred.
I really liked the fact that they talked with Roeper and Ebert, and found it shocking that both were actually fans of Hughes' films.
Some of the actors that were in the film, I haven't seen in quite some time, and the ones I have, I thought it was interesting to get their take on the movies, and the parts they played in them.
It was also interesting to see the high schoolers of today identifying with the movies. In the High School Musical, or Hannah Montana, or Twilight age, I found it eye opening that the youth of today still find movies, of a generation ago, still talk to them. We all identified with the characters growing up, or at least as we got older, and now our kids are doing the same. For those of us who didn't understand our parent's movies, or didn't want to, I found that interesting.
Spoiler alert! The only thing that I thought sucked about the movie was Hughes ignoring the request. I always liked Hughes movies, most of them, and I've seen, no offence intended, bigger personalities give their fans the time of day, let alone legitimate film makers. This just could be attributed to the stalkers of today, and he may have had that fear, unfortunately we will never know. However, to take the time to return the DVD, and the note via FED EX, with no note or anything was actually a middle finger, and will leave me with that image next time I consider watching one of his movies, which will be in a very long time, if at all.