I borrowed my friend's Gigli DVD to see if the movie was really as bad as the ratings and other comments here will indicate. The answer is yes. When the film first came out, it rocketed to number 1 on the bottom 100 list. That ranking was undeserved, as the movie does have decent technical aspects (editing, sound) relative to Manos and Future War. Its good to see Gigli settling a little further down the list. From the outset, I could tell the dialog was just horrible. It was unfunny 90% of the time, and contained useless overlong scenes. One example was the whole 'pleasing a woman' sequence where Lopez was doing Yoga on a mat while talking with Affleck. Just horrible. Jennifer Lopez has to win the award for most painfully miscast actress. She is totally unbelievable as a Lesbian girl gangster. She failed to convince me that she had ever broken the law in the past. 'I did some really bad things' -- yeah right. I would avoid this like the plague. 1/10
Reviews
27 Reviews
My Boss's Daughter
(2003)
For the Love of God....
28 May 2004
What an absolutely horrid, wretched POS this movie this. The humor is low-brow and crude which in itself is not bad IF the movie is funny. Well guess what. This is not funny (and it's not hard to get me laughing). A totally incoherent plot, and a very misleading title (the Boss's daughter has little to do with the movie). Ashton Kutcher, just give it up. You suck. Never again. 1/10
Dazed and Confused
(1993)
Atypical Teen Film
3 May 2004
I saw this movie shortly after it came out. I was 16 at the time, and it was interested seeing people in the film who were about my age, 20 years earlier. You could definitely tell this film was geared towards people who where in their teens in the mid-70's, and who have been in their mid-thirties when the film came out. They also released not one but two excellent soundtracks featuring music of the era. I wouldn't be surprised if the filmmakers made more off the soundtracks than the movie. The movie definitely is attempting to create a sense of nostalgia. The average viewer who is not from that era will likely find the movie slow and dull. Watch to see early appearances by several future stars - Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Matthew McConaughey. This is not an out-and-out comedy. There is no slapstick or gross-out humour that we typically see in teen films. Not bad. 7/10
The Thomas Crown Affair
(1999)
Just average..
28 April 2004
The cast here is made up of some well known names: Pierce Brosnan, Rene Russ, Ben Gazzara, Faye Dunaway, and Dennis Leary. The movie has some twists in it, but that's about all it has going for it. The film is average at best, and despite it's best attempts, is not erotic at all. Pierce Brosnan is well-cast, and looks the part. Rene Russo, just seems miscast to me, for some reason that I cannot put my finger on. 6/10
Murder at 1600
(1997)
Movie of week stuff...
28 April 2004
Murder at 1600 never really rises above the level of an average TV movie of the week. The cast is made up of some good actors: Diane Lane, Ronny Cox, Alan Alda. However they can't seem to save this picture from mediocrity. Pretty much equivalent to Snipes' Passenger 57, so if you liked that you'll like this. Watch if it's on TV and you have nothing better to do, otherwise, don't bother. 5/10
10 Things I Hate About You
(1999)
Can't Find 10 things to hate about this movie!
27 April 2004
Around the time the 10 Things came out, we we being flooded with teen movies, some good, some trash. We were inundated with American Pie, Cruel Intentions, Never been kissed, and a tonne of Freddy Prinze stuff. 10 Things clearly emerges as the best of this lot, head-and-shoulders above the rest. The story is well-written and the acting is good. I loved the scene where Bianca was getting told-off in the car after the party. The scene where Heath Ledger is singing "Can't take my eyes off you" to Julia Stiles in the stadium was also hilarious. An above-average teen movie with some depth. 8/10.
The Secret of NIMH
(1982)
Dark and Brilliant
22 April 2004
I remember seeing this movie as a kid in the mid-eighties. I found that it was quite different than the average disney fare. It had a certain darkness about it not unlike a Tolkien novel. The storyline I think is a bit advanced for the average young child, but older children and adults will appreciate it. The animation is first-rate. Definitely worth a look if you're tired of the standard computer-generated Disney fare. 8/10
Some Complaints
12 April 2004
I was not thoroughly impressed with Pirates of the Caribbean, as I had heard several glowing word-of-mouth reviews. I have to admit that Johnny Depp's performance was quite hilarious and was the best thing about this movie. One complaint is that the movie is way too long. They could have easily chopped 30-45 minutes from this film without sacrificing anything. Another complaint is the level of violence. I am a horror fan, and certainly am not against violence in the movies. However, the impression this movie gives prior to watching is that it is a Disney-esque film. I think the PG rating is too leniant and the given the stabbings, shootings, and blood that abound in this film, they should have raised it. 6/10
Raiders of the Lost Ark
(1981)
Extremely overrated movie
1 January 2004
I have finally seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, after having seen the last 2 parts of the trilogy some years ago. I was quite disappointed overall. The opening was entertaining and strong, but then the movie fell into a horribly boring sequence. It picks up again during the truck chase sequence, before leaving us with a ridiculously supernatural ending. That was a let-down for a movie where everything else was reasonably realistic.
Another point I wanted to mention is I can't see how this movie got a PG-13 rating. The amount of gratuitous violence is almost overwhelming. The body count racked up by the end of the movie is probably greater than all of the Friday the 13th movies put together. Granted, the amount of violence is equal to many action movies out today, but they don't have PG-13 ratings. The camera lingers on mutilated faces, gallons of blood are thrown around, and countless numbers of faceless Arabs and Nazis are killed or injured. Not exactly family material.
The few exciting action sequences here save this movie from being a total wreck, but I can't seen any justification for this movie's current position in the top 20 movies of all time. Maybe the sentimental factor is the reason.
Another point I wanted to mention is I can't see how this movie got a PG-13 rating. The amount of gratuitous violence is almost overwhelming. The body count racked up by the end of the movie is probably greater than all of the Friday the 13th movies put together. Granted, the amount of violence is equal to many action movies out today, but they don't have PG-13 ratings. The camera lingers on mutilated faces, gallons of blood are thrown around, and countless numbers of faceless Arabs and Nazis are killed or injured. Not exactly family material.
The few exciting action sequences here save this movie from being a total wreck, but I can't seen any justification for this movie's current position in the top 20 movies of all time. Maybe the sentimental factor is the reason.
Bio-Dome
(1996)
Absolutely Horrible
26 December 2003
I have seen several of Pauly shore's movies, but this is hands-down, flat-out the worst movie he has ever been in. Encino Man and Jury Duty are like Casablanca compared to this rancid turd of a movie. It is completely unfunny in any sense of the word. And it's even too bad to be considered for "so bad that it's good" recognition. Stay away, for God's sake, please stay away. 1/10
Cruel Intentions 2
(2000 Video)
Just horrible...
20 December 2003
I've seen the first Cruel Intentions, which I didn't like very much. Compared to this movie, the original looks like Casablanca. I watched this one on DVD. You can see why it's direct to video. I understand the characters are the same because it is a prequel. But the dialog and plot were virtually the same. What do you get with this one: cheap exploitation, racial stereotypes, and a ridiculous, unfathomable ending which is cut off all to soon. 3/10
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
(1974)
Insane and horrifying beyond belief.
9 November 2003
Warning: Spoilers
******POSSIBLE SPOILERS ************************
I had heard a lot of things about this movie, how scary it was and such. I had never really gotten around to seeing it until they released the 2003 version (which I haven't seen yet). I thought the movie could be that brutal, I've sat through countless incarnations of Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Boy was I wrong.
I have just watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and it was more horrifying than anything I could have expected. When people speak of how "scary" a movie is, most talk of either the amount of gore present, or the number of jump scares. This movie has very little of either. However there is a haunting score, and tremendous suspense. Not to mention the last bit where the heroine Sally (Marilyn Burns) is tortured by the three insane Cannibals (one of which is Leatherface). That was the most intense 15 minutes or so of film I have ever watched, and the only time I have ever considered fast-forwarding a movie. I now see they say people left the theatre during the screen of this movie in the 70's. With the advent of slasher films, the victims are killed instantly, and that is the case with Sally's friends. But repeated hammer blows, broomstick and knife handle beatings are almost never seen nowadays.
Marilyn Burns played the part of the heroine so well I'm surprised she didn't go insane after filming. I have seen Jamie Lee Curtis and a host of other horror heroines over the years, but none equal the performance put on by Ms. Burns.
A note about the level of gore present. It is low, but I have to qualify that. Only once do we see a chainsaw cutting flesh. There are also knife blade cuts which produce blood. I would say these are no more than what you would see in a Die Hard or Schwarzenegger movie. The body count is less than an action flick or typical slasher flick. However, there is an extreme amount of torture, and abuse in this movie. Lack of gore does not mean the movie is for everyone.
Only watch this movie if you're a horror fan or have a strong stomach. If you don't find this movie disturbing, or I'm you find it amusing, then you should probably check yourself into the nearest psychiatric hospital.
9/10
I had heard a lot of things about this movie, how scary it was and such. I had never really gotten around to seeing it until they released the 2003 version (which I haven't seen yet). I thought the movie could be that brutal, I've sat through countless incarnations of Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Boy was I wrong.
I have just watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and it was more horrifying than anything I could have expected. When people speak of how "scary" a movie is, most talk of either the amount of gore present, or the number of jump scares. This movie has very little of either. However there is a haunting score, and tremendous suspense. Not to mention the last bit where the heroine Sally (Marilyn Burns) is tortured by the three insane Cannibals (one of which is Leatherface). That was the most intense 15 minutes or so of film I have ever watched, and the only time I have ever considered fast-forwarding a movie. I now see they say people left the theatre during the screen of this movie in the 70's. With the advent of slasher films, the victims are killed instantly, and that is the case with Sally's friends. But repeated hammer blows, broomstick and knife handle beatings are almost never seen nowadays.
Marilyn Burns played the part of the heroine so well I'm surprised she didn't go insane after filming. I have seen Jamie Lee Curtis and a host of other horror heroines over the years, but none equal the performance put on by Ms. Burns.
A note about the level of gore present. It is low, but I have to qualify that. Only once do we see a chainsaw cutting flesh. There are also knife blade cuts which produce blood. I would say these are no more than what you would see in a Die Hard or Schwarzenegger movie. The body count is less than an action flick or typical slasher flick. However, there is an extreme amount of torture, and abuse in this movie. Lack of gore does not mean the movie is for everyone.
Only watch this movie if you're a horror fan or have a strong stomach. If you don't find this movie disturbing, or I'm you find it amusing, then you should probably check yourself into the nearest psychiatric hospital.
9/10
Better Than Expected
17 October 2003
I just saw Under Siege 2 on DVD and it was decent. I had never seen the first episode, but there didn't appear to be any moments in the movie that required one to. No, Seagal's acting was not Oscar calibre, but come on, what do you expect? The film promised action, and it delivered with great special effects and fight scenes. It did the job of entertaining me for 90 minutes, which is all I expected of it. Katherine Heigl plays Seagal's neice, Sarah Ryback. She did a great job, and boy, is she ever gorgeous. Eric Bogosian was humorous as the brilliant but somewhat insane mastermind Travis Dane. Worth a look. 7/10
8MM
(1999)
Dark and Disturbing....
19 September 2003
I saw this film a couple of years ago. It really did scare me in parts. It plays off the old urban legend of snuff films; that women are being abducted off the street and killed on film, for the enjoyment of
perverts. These perverts will pay ridiculous prices for viewing these films, hence the motivation for the "filmmakers". Of course, not a single case of this has ever happened. But that doesn't stop 8mm from exploiting this fear. This film is not for everyone. Naturally, with subject matter of
snuff films and s&m, the picture will be dark and offensive to many. Joaquin Phoenix did a great job as Cage's sidekick.
perverts. These perverts will pay ridiculous prices for viewing these films, hence the motivation for the "filmmakers". Of course, not a single case of this has ever happened. But that doesn't stop 8mm from exploiting this fear. This film is not for everyone. Naturally, with subject matter of
snuff films and s&m, the picture will be dark and offensive to many. Joaquin Phoenix did a great job as Cage's sidekick.
Nightstalker
(2002)
No Redeeming Qualities...
12 September 2003
I have to agree with the other reviewers. There are several things wrong with this film: The real night stalker killed people of all races, not just hispanics. The focus of the story was not on the killer Ramirez, it was on the fictional character officer Martinez. If it was on Ramirez, we would have seen him watch his sister-in-law's murder at a young age, get in and out of trouble, and watch his progress into a serial killer. There is no background given. Also, the way he was apprehended never happened. I wanted to see the chase through a Latino LA neighbourhood, where locals chased Ramirez, and nearly beat him to death. And the car he was driving - where is the orange Corolla? The appearance of the cast was HORRIBLE. Take a look at detective Elliot (the white guy). Did ANYONE have combed hair in 1985? How about the black detective? Did anyone have a Boston Public bald hairstyle in 1985? All of the women's hairstyle were inaccurate. Yet they kept trying to throw in video clips from Iran and Bhopal India to set the era up. It's amazing they would overlook the casts appearance. The guy who played Ramirez looked the part - except for those pearly whites. The real Ramirez had rotting teeth with a foul odour. Martinez's coke-sniffing partner, played by Danny Trejo did an awful acting job. It was fake & forced. Oh, and they could have afforded to loose all of those demon scenes. They grew tiresome quickly and made me dizzy. 3/10
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(2003)
Not Bad
5 September 2003
Decent romantic comedy. I've seen both better and worse. The scene at the Diamond party gets incredibly complex when you try to get your head around who knows what and who's trying to exploit who. Kate Hudson does a pretty good job in this.
Friday the 13th
(1980)
The First and Probably the Best of Them All...
30 August 2003
Warning: Spoilers
WARNING**** POSSIBLE SPOILERS ****************** ************************************************
I just checked out Friday the 13th on one of the late night movie channels, and was pleasantly surprised. The have seen most of the other (for the most part) god-awful "Friday" movies, and have to say, this one outshines all of them. Firstly, the women in this episode are hands-down the most beautiful in any of the sequels. Secondly, there were quite a few scares, that depending on the atmosphere, could have you jumping out of your seat.
The gore and killing in this movie are second to none, and very realistic. The movie may be worth watching to see Kevin Bacon take an arrow the the throat alone. (Then again, if I got a chance to make love to the girls he did in the movie, I might have been willing to accept a similar fate). I normally have a reasonably strong stomach, but there were times I had to turn away briefly (which I say is a testament to the realistic effects, not my cowardice).
I don't know why everyone rips the acting in these movies. It seems equivalent to pretty much 80% of the movies from that era. Of course, this is not an oscar winner, but the cast is for the most part, teenagers. Adrienne King, who plays the part of the cliched last surviving heroine, did a respectable job. So did Betsy Palmer who played Mrs. Voorhees. Also, the low budget that this movie had added to the appeal, giving a grainy, atmospheric, and more raw feel to the movie, then the slick and overproduced horror movies of today.
If you like hard-bodied young women, great suspense, realistic effects, and great spooks give Friday the 13th a try. If you're bored with the other crappy Friday sequels, Part 1 is definitely worth your time.
Oh yeah, if your looking for the hockey-masked Jason, he's not here. He makes only a brief appearance as a zombie in his boyish form.
I just checked out Friday the 13th on one of the late night movie channels, and was pleasantly surprised. The have seen most of the other (for the most part) god-awful "Friday" movies, and have to say, this one outshines all of them. Firstly, the women in this episode are hands-down the most beautiful in any of the sequels. Secondly, there were quite a few scares, that depending on the atmosphere, could have you jumping out of your seat.
The gore and killing in this movie are second to none, and very realistic. The movie may be worth watching to see Kevin Bacon take an arrow the the throat alone. (Then again, if I got a chance to make love to the girls he did in the movie, I might have been willing to accept a similar fate). I normally have a reasonably strong stomach, but there were times I had to turn away briefly (which I say is a testament to the realistic effects, not my cowardice).
I don't know why everyone rips the acting in these movies. It seems equivalent to pretty much 80% of the movies from that era. Of course, this is not an oscar winner, but the cast is for the most part, teenagers. Adrienne King, who plays the part of the cliched last surviving heroine, did a respectable job. So did Betsy Palmer who played Mrs. Voorhees. Also, the low budget that this movie had added to the appeal, giving a grainy, atmospheric, and more raw feel to the movie, then the slick and overproduced horror movies of today.
If you like hard-bodied young women, great suspense, realistic effects, and great spooks give Friday the 13th a try. If you're bored with the other crappy Friday sequels, Part 1 is definitely worth your time.
Oh yeah, if your looking for the hockey-masked Jason, he's not here. He makes only a brief appearance as a zombie in his boyish form.
The Wizard
(1989)
You either love it or hate it...
26 August 2003
This is one of those movies that you either love or hate. I guess it all depends on the age you were when it came out, and whether you had or played the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES).
I was 11 when the movie was released, and my 7 year old brother and I dragged our mother to the theatre to let us see it. I could relate to all the games they were playing, and of course, got my first glimpse at Super Mario Brothers 3, probably the best game ever for the NES.
The story was simple enough to follow at that age, and provided plenty of action and drama for us. Yes, the plot and acting are not oscar-calibre, but it never tried to be. And of course this movie is filled with shameless product placement, but who cares when you're 11?
Looking back now, I would probably find the movie too dated, lightweight, and commercial, but I am 13 years older. The only people who would appreciate this movie would today be around 19-29. If you tried to show it to anyone else, including kids of today, they wouldn't like it at all.
Like I said, you either love it or hate it.
I was 11 when the movie was released, and my 7 year old brother and I dragged our mother to the theatre to let us see it. I could relate to all the games they were playing, and of course, got my first glimpse at Super Mario Brothers 3, probably the best game ever for the NES.
The story was simple enough to follow at that age, and provided plenty of action and drama for us. Yes, the plot and acting are not oscar-calibre, but it never tried to be. And of course this movie is filled with shameless product placement, but who cares when you're 11?
Looking back now, I would probably find the movie too dated, lightweight, and commercial, but I am 13 years older. The only people who would appreciate this movie would today be around 19-29. If you tried to show it to anyone else, including kids of today, they wouldn't like it at all.
Like I said, you either love it or hate it.
The Art of War
(2000)
Good God...
19 August 2003
I can't believe I wasted my hard-earned money watching this turkey in the theatre. It's dull, predictable, and no better than a made for TV movie. Even in terms of action, it comes up short. Wesley Snipes gives an uninspired performance. Don't bother.
Batman & Robin
(1997)
We're going to hell in a handbasket...
19 August 2003
I went to see this turkey with some friends after high school graduation. This was some of the worst tripe I have ever sat though. The Batman franchise has gone downhill since the first installment with Michael Keaton. The original was very dark (classified as a horror movie by some), and excellent. This movie is a glorified cartoon to boost the egoes of its stars. Schwarzenegger (Freeze) gives an awful performance (even for him), Silverstone (Batgirl) is garbage, and don't get me started on Clooney (Batman). The paper-thin plot was ridiculous. The only good thing I can say about this movie is that it is better than the stinker-to-end-all-stinkers Batman Returns, but that ain't saying much.
Jury Duty
(1995)
Don't expect an Oscar-winner...
19 August 2003
Come on. If you're watching this movie, you can't expect too much. Two words: POLLY SHORE. Watching this movie now, you can see how ridiculously dated it is. It was released in 1995 to capitalize on the world's fascination with the OJ Simpson trial. 10 years from now, is anyone going to know what the one-liner "Say hi to Judge Ito!" means?? It's not the absolute worse thing I've ever seen, and there are some mildly funny bits here and there. 3/10
The Ladies Man
(2000)
Just Awful...
25 July 2003
I rented this tape a couple of years ago, and boy did it suck. From the commercials, I was lead to believe that this was a movie about a guy who had no no luck with women, and that was where the comedy would lie. Boy was I wrong. The jokes were vulgar, and they were just not funny. Don't bother. 1/10
Bowfinger
(1999)
Average Comedy
18 July 2003
I saw this movie in the theatre when it came out. It was only $5 for that particular theatre, but going in, I was expecting something horrible a la Nutty Professor 2.
I was surprise in that this movie did not totally stink, and there were some funny moments. I'm not an Eddie Murphy fan, but he did a reasonable job. I only liked coming to America - the rest of his movies stunk.
This movie is just average but considering it stars Eddie Murphy, that's saying something. Only watch if it's on TV and you have 2 hours to spend watching this mindless comedy.
I was surprise in that this movie did not totally stink, and there were some funny moments. I'm not an Eddie Murphy fan, but he did a reasonable job. I only liked coming to America - the rest of his movies stunk.
This movie is just average but considering it stars Eddie Murphy, that's saying something. Only watch if it's on TV and you have 2 hours to spend watching this mindless comedy.
Abducted
(1986)
Beautiful Scenery
18 July 2003
I saw this movie late one night on a movie channel here in Canada. It has received some medicore reviews here, but I think the movie is slightly above average, all things considered.
Yes, it was a low budget movie and that's quite obvious. The beautiful scenery of the Canadian wilderness is breathtaking. The characters played by Haggerty, and his son were quite well-developed and believable. Haggerty and Weiss also have some great dialog on their trip back to civilization. Roberta Weiss looks great too, and that doesn't hurt.
You won't be able to find this one DVD yet, your only hope is to catch on TV one night, or find a used copy of the VHS.
Yes, it was a low budget movie and that's quite obvious. The beautiful scenery of the Canadian wilderness is breathtaking. The characters played by Haggerty, and his son were quite well-developed and believable. Haggerty and Weiss also have some great dialog on their trip back to civilization. Roberta Weiss looks great too, and that doesn't hurt.
You won't be able to find this one DVD yet, your only hope is to catch on TV one night, or find a used copy of the VHS.
Rollerball
(2002)
The reason I don't go to the theatres anymore...
16 July 2003
This was one of the last movies I ever saw in the theatre (my last trip was over a year ago) I paid $13 bucks to see this POS and have never forgiven myself for it. The first thing I couldn't stand was the fact that it took place in Eastern Europe. Just listening to all those bad accents makes the movie look like a cheap wannabe action flick. Plus, as every reviewer previous to me has pointer out, that STUPID night vision scene. Maybe would have been interesting for a minute, but not 15. I remember people walking out of the theatre at this point. After this disaster of a movie was over, everybody was saying to the people they came with "what the hell was that?". I admit that I will sit down and watch films others describe as camp or cheesy, but I think even if I was watching this on tape, I would have turned it off. There is something seriously flawed with this film. Many have pointed out that it is the editing and I am inclined to agree. So the bottom line is DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. This is without a single shadow of a doubt, the WORST movie I have EVER seen in my life.
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