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3/10
Insipid, man
25 January 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I was never as excited about this movie as my boyfriend was, mostly because I chalk Will Ferrell's humor up to the level of fratboy hijinx, sex jokes, and toilet humor. But I was willing to chill on the couch and watch the hour and a half comedy. I liked him okay on SNL, and I was mildly amused my Old School. I thought it would be a nice way to relax on a Monday night.

And relax I did...almost to the point of falling asleep. Not only were the jokes not funny, there were so few of them. Long periods of boring-ness separated the gags, which included, and I still cannot believe this, Will Farrell and Christina Applegate riding around on animated unicorns, Paul Rudd spraying on cologne that contained chunks of raw meat (panther), Luke Wilson getting his arm chopped off (not even worthy of the Monty Python memory it conjures up), and Will Farrell ACTUALLY EATING A PIECE OF FECES.

Have we come to this? Is this what's supposed to make us laugh now? Even the most quotable line from the movie, which the men in my life will not stop repeating, is "you smell like big foot's dick." Even that just isn't funny. (note: watch Napoleon Dynamite if you want some real quotable material.) The only redeeming qualities of the movie are Steven Carell and Jack Black's brief scene with Baxter, the dog. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. "Biker...Punted...Baxter" Save your time and your money on this one. I sure am glad I didn't have to pay to see it...
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Open Water (2003)
5/10
Where did all that hype come from?
18 January 2005
I wanted to see this movie because of all the good reviews and hype about it. I'm also a fan of low-budget indies that make it big. However, when I watched it with my boyfriend and roommate, we found ourselves just talking through the whole movie just to pass the time. We also amused ourselves by trying to figure out if that one guy on the boat really was the guy from Broken Lizard.

At an hour and a half, Open Water was still way too long.

The psychological aspect of the couple in the water was somewhat interesting, but nothing profound. I have the same sorts of fights with my boyfriend when we get lost in the city.

All in all, it wasn't nearly "the scariest movie of the year." It was a yawn. Skip it.
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