Reviews

Oh boy, South Park. I have quite a lot to say about this show. Let me make one thing perfectly clear; I love this show. To me this is like the Monty Python of animated shows. The episode plots, the characters, the writing, the situations, the jokes, the social satire are all perfect. I can't think of another show that's had such an impact on my sense of humor. Sure, Family Guy is come pretty close but Family Guy has gone downhill in the last few years. South Park has only gotten better and better. Mostly because they have tackled current things and it never becomes dated. For example, when Facebook was a new thing, South Park would make an episode about it, or when Cloverfield just came out or Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And the jokes they make are spot on. The show has a lot of gross-out humor as well, which goes overboard, but it's also backed up with some great satire. I guess I'll talk about the main characters. First, there's Stan; he's the leader of the group and when they're in a bad situation, he's always the one who just mentions how absurd it is. Bottom line, Stan is like able and open-minded. Then there's Cartman, my favorite character by far. He's racist, self-centered, foul-mouthed, evil, mischievous, psychotic, and sociopathic, in other words, he's the king of the assh*les. Then there's Kenny; he wears an orange coat over his face so it's hidden and his voice is muffled. But in some episodes we've seen his face and heard him talk, but they keep having him wear the coat, I guess, because it's so memorable. Kenny dies like in every episode in the most absurd ways possible, then he wakes up without a scratch kind of like in Groundhog Day. And then there's Kyle; I never really liked him, he's really winey and can be kind of a douchebag, but not in the same way as Cartman. But with that said, I couldn't see the show without Kyle. Some of my other favorite characters include Butters (Cartman's sidekick), Mr. Garrison (The school's perverted teacher) and Chef (The chef at the school cafeteria). There has not been and episode on this show that hasn't made me laugh, not one. Even the ones that aren't that memorable have great moments. And South Park is more than just a show that makes me laugh, no, South Park is glorious. I don't know where I would be if I never watched the show. The show has tackled some many real-life issues that it really has the answer when I'm in a bad situation. Whenever I watch an episode, it doesn't just make me laugh, it really speaks to me. At the end of an episode the main characters say "you know, I've learned something today." Another thing that I love so much about this show is the payoffs. These episodes have some the greatest set-ups than any show I can think of. I see the first two minutes of the episode and I've got to know what happens in the end and the payoff is totally worth it. The episodes have all this build-up and the endings are extremely satisfying. Every episode is basically a joke with a giant punch line at the end. Overall, this is one of my very favorite shows and so glad that it's still around. Trey Parker and Matt Stone (the creators) are freakin' geniuses. Hey, if The Simpsons can go on for that long, I hope South Park can as well. The animation is basically a giant arts and crafts project made out of stop-motion construction paper. There's not a ton of money thrown into the animation which is great because the creators are doing so much with so little money. That really says something.

When you start watching this movie, you'll decide if you like it or not. But if you don't want to wait, I'll tell you. This movie is so trippy, so gross, so insane, so bizarre, and so friggin' crazy! Now with that said, it's also brilliant, funny, surreal, dark, entertaining etc. The story goes like this; a Dr. Journalism, Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp), and his wolf man attorney, Dr. Gonzo (Benicio Del Toro), are sent to Las Vegas to cover a Mint 400 motorcycle race but end up abandoning that in search of the American Dream. The two characters are out of their minds on drugs the entire time which is where the surreal factor comes into play. The film is based the famous novel by Hunter S. Thompson, which was based on real life events he experienced. I'm not kidding when I say that five minutes into this movie and you'll feel that someone drugged your drink or something. This is more than just a movie, it's an experience, and an experience like no other. If you haven't read the book or don't know what your getting yourself into, then you're gonna have one hell of a ride. Johnny Depp (of course) nails the performance of the character that the book created. What director, Terry Gilliam, did is take the book and match the images that we thought of while reading it, perfectly. Throughout the film, watching the two characters wander witlessly around Las Vegas tripping on acid, I felt like I was part of the experience. Also, Depp's performance is so good, that I started to forget that he wasn't really Hunter S. Thompson. The characters are both psychotic but in different ways. Raoul Duke has one foot in reality and another foot in a pit of madness, Gonzo, however, is off his rocker. He's just a ticking atom bomb ready to go off, I'd be scared to stay in the same room as him. But what keeps this movie going strong is the narration by Depp. Some of it's recited from the book but other times it's whatever's on his mind. Without the narration, the movie would be just one wacky thing after another. Overall, watching this movie is like being hit by a car, sucked into a tornado, spat out into a trampoline factory, raped by a wild tiger, eaten by Godzilla, thrown off the face of the Earth, and plummeting right down on the TV. Any negative reviews you may have heard about this movie make no sense. They love the book while hate the film for being so crazy and shapeless (oh, you mean exactly like the book). This is a perfect adaptation of the book. So great performances, surreal scenery, flowing narration, and a clever cameo by Thompson himself. When I first saw this movie, I liked it just fine. I've seen a few more times and every time I see it, it gets better. Now it's gotten to the point where I think it's one of the best films ever made. So if you're a Johnny Depp fan, or a Terry Gilliam fan, or a Hunter S. Thompson fan, or just in the mood for something different and I mean REALLY different, definitely check it out.

After the watching this movie with a few friends, I did research and found out that David Green Gorden directed it. He was also the director of Pineapple Express, one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. So where did this go wrong? Well, let me start with the story. It stars Danny McBride and James Franco as two knights (one heroic and one fat and a loser, take three guesses on which is which) who go on a quest to kill an evil wizard who captured Franco's fiancée while McBride tries to be just as good as his brother. Now this may be the raunchiest movie I've ever seen. It's 95% toilet and penis jokes and that's WAY overboard for me. I think the scene that made me lose hope in this movie is when Danny McBride kills a monster and wants to claim his kill by cutting off it's head and mount it on a spear, but he can't cut off it's head so guess what? He's cuts off it's penis and wears it as a necklace! When I saw that I rolled my eyes and thought it was a cheap way out of a laugh which it is. And its not just this, so many of the jokes are like this that it gets ridiculous. But it's not ALL bad, they're some good things about it, like Natalie Portman. She is the best performance in the movie and she is what keeps the movie going. And they're were a few moments that were funny. Like the scene where Franco and McBride go to see the wise wizard and it turns out to be a little purple Yoda looking puppet. And it turns out to be a pervert so it won't give them any advice unless they make out with him and jerk him off! And I have to admit watching James Franco and Danny McBride touching that little puppet's crouch was pretty amusing. But still, the movie's a mess. It's not 100% atrociously bad but it's just lazy in the writing. And think I've seen enough penis in one movie! Geez

WOW! Just, WOW! I used to watch this movie as a kid with my brothers and we loved it but. We found the book that came with it in the garage recently and we found the VHS somehow and we played it. It was the most disturbing nostalgic mindfuck we've ever experience. Who directed this? Did he go up to people and say "Let me take your kids. I'll strip them naked and film them going to the bathroom!" We have the HE version. I'm aware there's a SHE version but don't think we're ALLOWED to have that one. Would this considered child porn? Would we get in trouble if we were caught with this tape? Well, anyway. After seeing this again, me and my brothers felt weired talking about normal things after we saw it. I have no idea what we're going to do with it now. I feel weird talking about it now, actually.

The Mist, for some reason, has a reputation of being a love/hate. Some people hate it and some don't. Personally, I love it. The plot is that a mysterious mist is covering up most of this small town and everybody hides out in a super market to try and survive. Now this is what made the movie work for me; it's like Night of the Living Dead, it's not about the monsters outside the super market it's about how people react to a situation like this. But unlike Night of the Living Dead where the zombies are all trying to get into the house, the monsters in the film don't try to get into the store because they're not that smart, they're just mutated animals. The acting is mixed in my opinion but the suspense is unbelievable. The special effects aren't anything special but that doesn't matter in a story like this. Marcia Gay Harden plays a religious nut who turns everybody in the store against the protagonist, and you just want to see her get chomped into oblivion! And then of course there's that ending, of course I'm not going to spoil it but it's one of the most sadistic, evil, depressing, mean, hateful, biggest slaps in the face endings ever. I'll leave it at that. But that doesn't matter, I enjoyed this movie from beginning to end and I never thought that it was stupid or lame. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it. Not to be confused with John Carpenter's The Fog.

It's ironic how in 1994 Tim Burton directed Ed Wood about the so-called worst director of all time making schlocky alien invader movies. And here he is two years later making one of his own. The movie is a homage on 50's flying saucers films such as Invasion of the Saucer Men and Earth vs. The Flying Saucers. Martians are coming down to Earth and everybody on Earth is awaiting their arrival to make peace. When the Martians arrive, they do come in peace... but then a hippie releases a dove in glee and it scares the Martians so they start to run a muck and kill everybody. lol. Unexpectedly, Johnny Depp is not in this movie but a whole slew of other characters from an all-star cast is their to replace him. I mean I'm surprised how many big names they got in this movie: Jack Nicholson, Michael J. Fox, Jack Black, Danny DeVito, and that's just to name a few. Also, I got a lot of laughs from this movie, it does have some really funny moments in it. That may be because it's so over-the-top but it doesn't matter. The CGI Martians are delightfully cheesy and so are the characters. Overall, it's not one of Burton's best films but that's not what it's for. It's goofy, fun action that I found enjoyable from beginning to end. Sadly, this parody is a million times better than Independence Day, a legit flying saucer movie that came out the same year.

A simple re-telling of Rocky (by the same director) quickly turns out to be a great movie. The story is that a boy named Daniel moves to California and be-friends a girl but there is a problem, the girl has a jealous ex- boyfriend who knows karate and beats on Daniel when ever he gets the chance. So Daniel learns karate from an old but wise handyman at his apartment, Mr. Myagi. Charming movie with great story, perfect characters, and an exciting climax. One of the most memorable scenes in this movie is the wax on, wax off technique which has been a staple in the martial arts genre and gets parodied all the time. The story played out so well and that's thanks to the great characters. Sure it may be dated in some spots and it's kind of hokey, it's so enjoyable you forget about all that. So overall, it's a up-lifting movie that's just as lovable as Rocky.

This time, we come back to insane karate teacher, John Kreese, who wants revenge on Daniel and Myagi for what happened in the first movie. So he contacts another crazy villain named Terry Silver to help him out with his plan. Meanwhile, Daniel and Myagi are opening a plant shop and have problems of they're own. A been there, done that feeling all the way through and tons of filler. The whole movie it's just one dumb scene after another and just goes on forever. The only thing mildly entertaining about it is the hammy, over-the-top acting from are two villains. I don't know how John Avildsen was trying to cap the franchise but he made this stupid and boring.

The movie begins right where the first left off and with Myagi putting John Kreese in his place, (not going to say how it happens.) Then it skips to months later where Myagi gets a letter from China and hears news about his Dad dying and his rival seeking vengeance. So Myagi and Daniel fly to China to deal with the situation. Now I had problems with the movie, like it dragged at points and there's a lot of beating around the bush. And Myagi's rival's student, Chozen, is by far the most menacing Karate Kid villain because he literally threatens to kill Daniel and at the end they have a battle to the death. But when you think about it, Daniel is only in this mess because Myagi said he could fight. So basically Daniel is innocent. But besides my complaints this is actually a really good sequel; it's a little more emotional than the first and it's much darker, plus, the final fight is as exciting as ever. Not perfect but I still recommend it.

Commando is just plain senseless violence. It has no emotion or any redeeming factor. It is just brainless from beginning to end... and THAT'S why it's so great! Arnold Schwarzenegger is at his best when he's playing unstoppable killing machines and blowing the Hell out of anything that moves. The story is that John Matrix's daughter is kidnapped by terrorists because they want Matrix to assassinate the president of Val Verde. But instead of cooperating, Matrix goes on a mission to rescue his daughter and stop the bad guys. From there we get plenty of explosions, gunfire, and one-liners. Acting isn't half bad but what matters is the way they are preformed. Vernon Wells is one the craziest villains ever put on films and he delivers his acting in a glorious, hammy, over-the-top, way. There are a lot of silly clichés but you don't laugh at them, you laugh with them. Plenty of great lines to hold you over and the final action scene is one the best ever. If you're a fan of the action genre or an Arnold Schwarzenegger fan at all, than this is a must see!