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harekrishna
Reviews
Choose (2011)
This movie or a good one? CHOOSE!
Caught this at Leeds Hyde Park Picture House's Night of the Dead and wish I hadn't. Dull, by-the-numbers serial killer slasher that has one gimmick - the killer makes his victims choose between two nasty punishments - that proves to be a lot less interesting than the you'd think.
Cue a plucky young journalist who uses the power of Google searching to solve a series of local crimes that her father, a high-ranking police officer, inexplicably doesn't seem to give a toss about.
The script has unintentional laugh-out-loud moments, and that's about the best I can say about this gently steaming pile of tepid naffness.
Colin (2008)
Flawed gem of a zombie movie
Saw this at the Leeds film festival the other night and 'Colin' is definitely one of the more original zombie movies I've seen. There's very little dialogue and the title character's descent into shuffling zombiehood is told almost totally visually.
The glimpses of an undead-ravaged London that we see through Colin's eyes make for some great sight gags along the way. There are a couple of twisted characters, some excellent gore (at least for such a low budget) and a few surprisingly sad and poignant moments - one of the greatest things about this film is that you actually empathise with a zombie for once. It's all backed up by a nicely subtle illbient soundtrack.
It's not without its faults, though. The very-shakeycam and high-contrast visuals give it a gritty, home-made feel that mostly works well with the subject matter, but too often it's also confusing and hectic, leaving you wondering what the hell just happened.
It also felt too long, despite being only 97 minutes - there are plenty of scenes that could have been snipped down and as simply effective as the premise is, there's just not enough story to fill an hour and 40 minutes. Something like 70 minutes would have been perfect in my opinion.
Overall, definitely worth seeing if you enjoy zombie flicks, especially clever, left-field ones like Pontypool and The Signal. While it's not as good as either of those, it's a fresh take on an old genre that deserves a watch.
The Catherine Tate Show (2004)
Dreadful, safe, slot-filler 'comedy'
I'm going to have to add my whiny voice to the other anti-Tate posters on this board. I'm constantly astounded that people think this programme is funny or even watchable. I don't find it offensive, racist or sexist as some people seem to - quite the opposite, it's so tame and predictable that you'd have more fun auctioning dogs.
There are a lot of people saying Little Britain is funnier than this - a fair enough comment, but they're really just comparing rubbish to a slightly less smelly kind of rubbish. They're fundamentally the same show and there's far, far better stuff out there.
Please, to overseas viewers who've heard about this show - don't bother, I'd be mortified if you watched this and thought this is the pinnacle of modern British comedy. Watch something like Big Train or Spaced instead, which have genuine laughs in every scene, and skip this kind of tired catchphrase comedy that really should have been laid to rest with The Fast Show (which was, at least, inventive and occasionally funny).
Freeze Frame (2004)
A good idea with a tacky thriller plot nailed to it
This film starts off well (although the makers clearly 'borrowed' a lot of their ideas from Darren Aronofsky's 'Pi') - it looks gritty, cold, suitable for a film about paranoia.
The problem is, Lee Evans can't act, and neither can the rest of the cast, and even if they could they'd have to be superhuman to make a script this dreadful sound good.
Overall, it's an interesting idea let down by awful production. The frankly awful plot feels like an afterthought, almost as if someone really, *really* wanted to make a film about a guy who tapes everything he does but couldn't work out where to go with the idea - so they watched an episode of 'Silent Witness' and made some notes on the back of a fag packet.
Verdict: rubbish. Better films, please, British Film Industry. And stop giving Lee Evans work. He acts like a Frank Spencer who's eaten too many blue Smarties. Ooh, Betty, the cat's been filming my secret murders!
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Essential for horror fans and definitely worth it for the rest of you
Imagine 'Natural Born Killers' meets 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' with a good deal of black humour and quirky characters thrown in - the result is The Devil's Rejects, one of the most refreshingly original horrors I've seen for ages. In a time where horror is getting so stale it's good to see some directors are still trying to push it in new directions. (Do you really want to see another tired 'there's a twist at the end!' movie like 'Hide and Seek'?)
The film follows the psychotic Firefly family that first appeared in Rob Zombie's film 'House of 1000 Corpses', as they embark on a murderous rampage across the desert whilst on the run from the police. I won't give away much more than that, but suffice to say that it's gory enough to please horror fans while being funny (albeit dark) and quirky enough for everyone else... check it out.
Happiness (1998)
Happiness, where are you?
Happiness is a brilliant dark comedy, set in New Jersey and focusing on the intertangled lives of three very different sisters and their love interests. As the title suggests, all of the characters in this film are searching for 'happiness' in their own ways, and none of them seem to succeed - as they are all unwittingly standing in one anothers' way.
Joy, who appears to be the central character, is a beautiful, innocent, but cripplingly nervous young woman who just wants to find a man - unfortunately she attracts a**holes like a magnet and is dogged by the bitterness and insecurities of others throughout the film. The other sisters have no more luck - one is 'happily' married to a closet pederast (hence why this is also quite a serious and disturbing film, although the subject matter is dealt with excellently), the other is a stunning but hopelessly self-obsessed young 'poet' who is stalked by her obsessive next-door neighbour.
What makes this movie clever is how the lives of the characters are interconnected, but they never realise it - for instance, the obsessive neighbour sees a psychiatrist, who happens to be the paedophile married to the other sister. It came across to me as an 'American Beauty'-style commentary on modern life and repressed sexual desires, but however you view it it's a funny, entertaining but also very confrontational film - I don't think I've ever seen the topic of child molesting discussed so frankly in a movie before.
Unabomber: The True Story (1996)
Most pointless film ever?
***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** From the opening scenes I had gritted my teeth against the cheesy Hollywood intro music and atrocious acting from another identikit set of all-American police officers who always get their man. Unfortunately the film did not get any better.
What might have been made into a powerful psychological (and true) drama about one Theodore's growing suspicion of his brother's involvement with a mysterious and terrifying 'Unabomber', was somehow made into the most tedious and predictable 90 minutes of my life. You are told who the Unabomber is from the beginning, so perhaps you might think that the tension would stem from discovering how his brother finds out. But no. They are friends at the beginning of the film, drift apart for a while and then about 10 minutes before the end Theodore and his wife are talking in the kitchen and both suddenly announce that they suspect David. (The movie's interunning sequences of the police tracking down 'Unabomber' as he claims victim after victim are so hackneyed and dull I can't bear to describe them). Theodore and his wife tell the police, who go and arrest David. Hurrah, end of film.
Overall, it feels as if it was written, produced and directed all in the same week. In fact, it probably was.
Jacob's Ladder (1990)
Brilliant film
I gave this film a 10 because in my opinion it's pretty much perfect, as a mystery/thriller/philosophy sorta thing.
There's just enough information that it's understandable, but little enough to mean that you need to watch it a few times to truly 'get' it... it's very scary but not a horror, which is clever... it works on many levels, as an anti-war film about government testing, a philosophical film about what's real and what isn't, and just as a story about a confused and increasingly horrified man who has no idea what's happening to him.
Most the names are symbolic - mostly biblical or paraphrased from Paradise Lost or Dante's Inferno - and if you know their significance it really adds to the message of the film. Great acting, decent special effects (for the time) and some clever settings and camera work too.
In all - a very clever film, I think it's one of my favourites. If you haven't seen it - the ending will blow you away. Then watch it again. And again :)