Reviews

Admittedly Trouble Every Day is a very different film than most I run across. It's quiet and subtle with so many undertones, I was sometimes left wondering what exactly was being conveyed from scene to scene. The story is a fairly simple one that takes forever to unwind: a former doctor (possibly current doctor, details are kept sparse) honeymoons with his new bride, and uses their trip to track down another doctor who is treating his wife for some sort of sadistic vampirism or something of that sort.

The movie, like sex caught on camera, is both disturbing and beautiful, visceral and permeating, yet somehow lacking. So many moments seemed to demand some sort of explanation, as though if you had a guide the journey would be slightly more meaningful. That aside, I was deeply attracted to the overall tone of the film, the confrontation of flesh, and the deeper meanings held within.

Look, just see it for yourself. This is definitely not one of those films for everyone. That being said, I feel that if you have a special place in your heart for films like Lost Highway, then you might want to give this one a chance. They're not in the same ballpark, but might be played in the same city if you catch my drift.

Maybe I've been a movie-goer for far too long, but I'd still like to think that every now and again it's possible to reach me. We've all been there as writers and directors try to reach out and tug on our collective heart strings. They give us tales of heart ache and woe, stories that are meant to capture out emotions and leave us feeling exactly as their protagonist does. Sometimes it works, most times it comes off as it was done, trite and meaningless.

I say all of this, because as a jaded movie-buff, Million Dollar Baby is easily one of the best films I've seen in a very long time. Forgetting about the politics of the film or the inherent criticisms that would follow, I felt that the story was so much more human than any I'd seen in a very long time. I want to say more, but really, how could I? The movie stands head and shoulders above all else by its own merits. Do yourself a favor and see it if you haven't already.

I just saw Sin City and would like to say that anyone who has had the pleasure of reading Frank Miller's books should really run out and see this one. It's a great re-imagining of Miller's three best novels. Though there are some noticeable omissions, I found the movie to be quite complete and throughly enjoyable.

Note of caution though: To people that don't know Miller's work or don't appreciate the film noir style, this movie might not be for you. The hokey dialog will throw off some and make otherwise tense moments laughable. So take it all with a grain of salt and if you can wrap your head around the way the film is presented and if you can appreciate the style in which Miller writes, then you should love it.

Solid flick! 8/10

Do yourself a favor... instead of seeing Darkness just take your ten bucks and burn it in front of you. Literally, you'll get the same amount of disappointment that you would with the film's build up to nothing and lack of delivery displayed at the ending.

Now, I'm all for letting your imagination tell a story about how horrible something may be. I really loved the Blair Witch Project (the first time I saw it) and that movie never once showed you how evil or terrible a death those people were experiencing. The key difference between these two films was that Blair was actually scary and led you down the path to where you had already anticipated the horror. Darkness is a bad script coupled with great imagery and, really, no scares whatsoever (aside from a few jumps and little to no logic). Save your money, and if you must see it, just wait till you can rent it, that way at least you'll only be burning three bucks.

3/10

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Shaun of the Dead is a great film. It's funny, scary, and most of all just a great time to be had. If you're a fan of horror/zombie flicks, I highly recommend it (especially if you're one of the Dawn of the Dead/Romero lot, as I am, and sick of cheap rips at zombie horror like RE:A and Cabin Fever). I can't really say enough good things about Shaun, but there is one problem... it's too damn short. I guess it's just like any good thing, you'll leave wanting more. I don't think it takes away from Shaun, but the movie really had me craving more laughs and definitely more locales. Great film though, go see it and you won't be disappointed.

8/10

I don't know if I should slam this god awful crapfest of a movie or blame myself for even going to see it after I saw the "EXTREME" trailers for it. I'll do the movie for now as I have years to blame myself for my misjudgment.

RE:A just proves the fact that no matter how much money and shine you add, a piece of crap is a piece of crap. This movie is really aimed at the extreme sport masses that must all prize glitz and special effects over substance.

Now, before I say more, I have to clear up the fact that I love horror/zombie flicks. I'm not some film snob that will only patronize artsy and independent cinema (though I probably should after seeing this smoking load). I enjoy a good visceral escape like the next person. In fact, I love the original Predator very much and that really doesn't have any substance to speak of.

That being said, if you want a good action movie experience and are one of those poor folks who can excuse a terrible flick by saying, "Yeah it was bad, but the special effects were awesome!", then by all means, GO! You'll likely love the film and give blowing reviews on every message board from here to the end of the internet. However, if you are someone who looks at the schmuck and wants to slap him in the back of head for saying something so stupid, then take my advice and skip this one. The characters are terrible, the plot is horrendous and dashes the logic of even the first RE, and it's filled with way too many EXTREME moments for it's own good. From rappelling cops with guns, to heroines who can smash through glass without getting cut, RE:A just says to heck with reality and goes on without a second thought. I was laughing during the whole thing and kept imagining the mulleted masses that this movie was aimed at. Then, I was shaking my head when I realized that this must be what America really wants. That made me plan my escape route to our brother from the north. Canada, here I come!

3 out of 10 stars. Save yourself the 8 bucks and check out a quality flick like the original Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, or even the Not-Romero-but-far-from-terrible Dawn remake.

I saw this flick by chance at a screening in West LA. I have to say that it was a great flick with tons of personality and a look that was second to none. The special effects are simply amazing.

My one problem with the film is that, although awe inspiring, I just never felt really compelled. The action, although beautiful, was rarely exciting. It was just like a beautiful painting that is just two more brush strokes shy of perfection. I can't say that I could put the blame on any one factor in the film. The cast played their roles up to a tee, with Gwyneth really shining as the annoying reporter willing to do anything to get the story. Maybe it was the fact that a true evil power was never fully realized in the film. Most movies of today have characters, good and bad, that are all shades of gray, but a throwback like Sky Captain should have followed in the vein of other classics like the old Superman cartoons (that it appears the film was heavily inspired by) and had a true arch-nemesis. That, unfortunately never happens and we are left with a good flick that loses all sense of purpose by the end. Beautiful? Yeah, but I want to feel something damn it!

8/10

I'm pretty sure the writers and producers of Dodgeball just got together one day and decided that the only reason Baseketball was a flop was because it wasn't based on a real sport. So they took Baseketball, every single idea and clever little touch, repackaged it and decided that the movie really needed to suck. Enter Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

Let me get to the nitty gritty: Vince Vaughn sleeps his way through the flick, the rest of the cast are completely forgettable and filled with lame gimmicks, and the only one with any energy is Stiller. He delivers another over the top, trying to hard for his own good, performance. (And I don't know about you, but I really don't think he's very funny at all. Sure, Something about Mary was good, but I don't think I've seen anything else, with him, where I was really just laughing like crazy). About the only great thing about the flick is Rip Torn. The guy is great and delivers some of the best lines that I've ever seen. He's about the only reason that I laughed throughout the film. The whole thing just seemed pretty trite and about as deep as a kiddie pool.

Do yourself a favor and spend your money renting Baseketball. It's much funnier, and at least you'll save the extra twenty you'd normally spend on popcorn and soda.

4/10

From seeing the score given to this flick, about the only thing I can figure is that this seriously must be one of those movies that you either love or hate. My friends and I, all former (and honestly, current) geeks were dieing in the theatre. And, yes, I was aware that the entire place wasn't falling apart, so I even saw the mixed reactions in there. I personally felt that this was easily one of the funniest movies I've seen in YEARS, folks. No lie. I almost fell over on at least three occasions! As soon and my friends and I left the theatre, all we could do was talk about Napolean and Pedro. We were quoting the movie all night and vowed, after about an hour, to see it again as soon as possible! It was just fantastic and beautifully understated! 10/10

Let me preface this by saying that I consider myself a huge fan of Kevin Smith's body of work. I truly believe there are two kind of Smith fans: the Mallrats lot that likes the funny stuff, but stays away from the depth and the Others, the people who see Smith's ability to layer truth into his work and appreciate that along with his quirky sense of humor.

I like Clerks, Mallrats, and adore Strikes Back, but what I truly love is Kevin Smith's storytelling perspective that has us, as viewers, travel his road (that of a moderately masculine man with his own shortcomings and inability to see the bigger picture); and although I somewhat liked Jersey Girl, I really felt that it lacked all of the finer qualities that makes a Kevin Smith feature such a treat.

From the beginning, Jersey Girl has a lot of things going against it. Kevin Smith has chosen to abandon his cult following for a "fresh start" and this will rub many people the wrong way as it did me. Second, Ben Affleck can't act his way out of a paper bag and is better off choosing roles that don't require he show very much emotion. The man is good at the subtle, but for his speech to his young daughter, which should have been deeply emotional, he really proves why he is not the leading man Kevin Smith sees him as. Third, aside from the unflinching truthful side to the story (which makes no apologies for it's realistic portrayal of what it takes to be a successful parent, which includes forsaking any dreams you may have the betterment of your child) the movie is painfully mediocre. I saw the same kind of sappy material in Along Came Polly. It was painful to see such... well drivel from a man I respect.

Jersey Girl is one of those movies for... everyone else. The kind of movie for people who don't know who Jason Lee is or why he was in a scene with Matt Damon; the kind of movie for people that weren't aching for a Phantoms reference while in any of the video store scenes; the kind of people that were waiting for a "C*m on Eileen" reference when Liv Tyler read off the title of the adult movie Ben Affleck blindly picked out. Basically, the kind of people who never supported Kevin Smith's features from the beginning. And yes, I get that Smith wanted to flex his creative muscle and that he wanted to reach out into new territory. I understand that he must have felt trapped by the tristate area films and the characters that he'd made and remade. I also understand that this movie, in large, was little more than a love song to his young daughter. I get all of that and yet I still feel disappointed. I didn't need Jay and Silent Bob to make another cameo. I didn't need a Willem reference or any of those other things. What killed me was that this wasn't the kind of film making I'd grown to expect from Kevin Smith. Jersey Girl was missing those extra layers that made Chasing Amy and Dogma such a treat to watch again and again. This movie was lacking all of those details that made Kevin Smith the phenomenal director that I had him pegged as.

This movie, as I stated above, was simply and painfully mediocre with only a taste of Smith's usual honesty thrown into the mix. I think I've finally found the one Kevin Smith movie I don't have the immediate urge to own. 6/10

I have to start by saying that I love the original DOTD. Romero truly created a masterpiece filled with tension, lonliness, and direct commentary on the mindless nature of man and consumerism.

Unfortunately, this remake really doesn't capture many of the same qualities which made Romero's classic so loved, but that's not to say that this new iteration is in any way terrible. The movie is actually quite good. I really dug into it and was at the edge of my seat for much of the nail-biting chase sequences. It's just fun, and a truly visceral experience from opening shot to fade out. If you keep that in mind and don't take the genre where exploding eyeballs have become the norm too seriously, then by all means check it out. It's not perfect, but far from terrible.

I thought Monster was fantastic at presenting a well rounded protrait of a character. Like most stories based on true events (like the Hurricane), it didn't have as much power as your classic Hollywood fanfare, but I still felt it was a great movie. I'd recommend it to just about anyone, unlike 21 Grams (It was fantastic btw) which left me an emotional mess afterward.

21 Grams was fantastic. Sean Penn should win for best actor and Benicio Del Toro should win for best supporting. The story was fantastic. Everything was great, but man... what a downer. I walked out of the flick with my friend and we just proceeded to talk about nothing but death, and felt the undeniable need for a cigarette. Be prepared. That's all I'm going to say. 10/10

I went into Butterfly Effect with lower than usual expectations, mostly due to Ashton, but I was surprised and enjoyed myself very much. Ashton put up a great effort and with a little more drama work, then man could be pretty good. Aside from that, I thought the story great aside from a few blemishes where the storytellers could have made a few details clearer. For instance, the picture Evan draws as a young child should have been connected to the prison scene better. A minute long flashback and different reaction when Evan goes back could have easily done this. I also would have liked for them to show that Evan didn't want to live in the sorority life because it was not him and was a very selfish life where Thumper and Andrea's brother were still living horrible lives. Two things that could have made the movie a better all-around package. 8/10

You might think a movie about conjoined twins would be wacky or even funny, but somehow the Farrelly brothers knew how to suck every bit of comedy out of a potentially hillarious film and leave the viewer with nothing more than a few sparse chuckles. Stuck on You could just as easily have been titled "Any other movie about small town brothers" because it makes no attempts to serperate itself from any other movie about brothers who have been together for most of their lives. Nothing new, nothing funnier, nothing inventive. I might have thought that the Farrelly brothers could have interviewed a few conjoined twins to get a little more perspective on their lives. I'm sure there are many aspects of their lives that the average person would find funny, just as there are funny moments in anyone's life that, if revealed, would get a good belly laugh from a crowd. My problem is that this movie is just like all of the others. Go see Bad Santa if you want to laugh this holiday season. 4/10

Let me start by saying that I liked the first film. It wasn't the best movie of all time like some would contend, but the film was an overall 7/10. Reloaded was a terrible farce of a movie with little in the way of story and so many pointless uneccesary scenes that it still makes my head spin to this day. I went to Revolutions with the hope that I was just completely wrong about the second movie, that in this one all of those things that made little to no sense about the last film would be explained and there would have been a lot of "Oh Yeah!" moments. I was sadly mistaken. I can say a few good things about Revolutions. 1. The special effects were awesome. 2. (And my biggest gripe from the last film) Every action taken in the movie had a point. And 3. Independently many of the scenes in the movie were fantastic, from the final battle with Smith to the journey to 01, but they just weren't enough to make the film worthy of seeing.

Now for the bad stuff. The dialogue was terrible. The acting was laughable with everybody making deliveries like they had no emotion (maybe to offset the fact that Keanu can't act to save his life). And the story was terrible with unexplained resolutions that leave you scratching your head. What's the deal with the train from the Matrix to our world?? Where exactly does that let off and are the tooth fairy and Santa Claus somehow involved? It's crap like that which fills this movie. Why on Earth would a machine, a logical being obesessed only with self preservation, ever make an agreement with it's one true enemy and hold to that agreement like it had some sense of honor?? The film was beter than the last, but that's only because the last film was terrible and a 3/10 at best.

Go see the film, because you have to. Hell, you've already invested so much of your life on this crap. Just don't expect such simple things as acting, dialogue, and a story that makes sense. Oh and forget everything you may know about reality, because the matrix has very little to do with what's real and possible (and not in a good way). 5/10

Let me just say this, Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a good movie. It's beautiful in a backwater, dirty kind of way that just makes you gasp at how detailed all of the environments are. Leatherface is a work of art with his well designed masks and the attention to detail of his, unseen in the first movie, grooming and skin weaving. You can just tell that by looking at all of the rich detail in this movie that they must have spent a mint on it (I wouldn't have expected anything less from Michael Bey).

Now with that said, if you are attached to the original Chainsaw Massacre, if you love that movie for all of it's detail work, then maybe you should steer clear of the 2003 remake, unless you're able to view it as an independent sequel (that although tries to reproduce the original, falls quite short). The movie had me and several other fans of the first movie laughing and cursing it. The new director, Marcus Nispel, managed to omit all of the beautiful, shocking, wonderfully demented parts of the original Massacre that made that movie unforgettable. Count on a total absense of the infamous dinner scene. The family in the 2003 Massacre is also little more than a sidenote in this flick. Also count on the story being all but completely rewritten with very few Massacre moments kept intact.

So if you've never heard of the original Massacre, if you've never seen it, or if you like "I know what you did last Summer", then this movie will be right down your alley, and you should love it. Those of us who hold the first Massacre near and dear to our hearts, proceed with caution. You've been warned.

I've heard so many critics and average joes ripping into this flick like it was the first sign hailing the antichrist. The movie is simple, yes, but damn funny. Maybe I'm just not caught up in my own pretense to enjoy a simple movie. Yes, there are times when I crave something more sophisticated, but this movie still has my friends and I rolling in the aisles. Give it a chance and you just might like it. 7/10

The idea was fantastic! The concept excited me from the outset. Hell, the quotes on the cover were awesome too, but don't waste your time.

I love B-Movies. I love really bad movies, and for a second there I was laughing at this one too - well, let me rephrase that - I chuckled at this movie once or twice.

The filmmakers had a great idea but little else. Vampire killing Christ? Check! Famous Mexican luchador? They've got it. Any idea how to properly script or shoot a movie? Well not so much.

Great ideas can only take you so far. When there is real talent behind the camera then we see such shlocky greatness as Black Dynamite or They Live. When all you've got is something you and your stoner buddies joked about one night while getting high, then well you end up with this.

Pick up the package, read the cover, joke with your friends about the idea, but whatever you do don't waste your time watching it.

House of 1000 Corpses is just one of those niche films that really should have been released direct to video. That is not to say that the movie is terrible, but that it will only be enjoyed by a small percentage of the population. Literally, 80-90% of the audience I watched the film with were yawning/waiting for it to end/or simply walked out. This movie is NOT for everybody. That is not meant to be a challenge to anyone because it might be too gory of too violent (which it is), but that most people won't "get" it or love the intricacies of the murderous family depicted in House. It's just such a dirty, violent, vulgar, bloody, messy masterpiece. I will say that the movie didn't hold me as well as I hoped it would. It was a lot like reading the memoirs of a serial killer. It might not be expertly craftesd, but it still has that special "something" that makes you sit in closer and really appreciate the work. This movie is geared toward that crowd of people who either grew up with or love the 70's-early 80's genre of bad horro flicks. "Last House on the Left", "Dawn of the Dead", "Return of the Living Dead", these are all classics that truly inspired House and shaped Rob Zombie's whacked out point of view. I loved it, and can't wait to buy the flick just to see what the corporate hot shots were too scared to release. Will everyone love it? No way. If you love all of those classic horror flicks, then you'll likely appreciate all of the little details present in Zombie's work. He's a fine artist and his attention to detail shows in every wonderful shot. See House at your own risk.

Come on, I think everyone knew at some point during this flick that they weren't watching a masterpiece of late 80's cinema unfolding before them. With that being said, Over the Top remains one of my top ten all time greats. Why? Maybe because I didn't really have that kind of relationship with my own father, or perhaps because I saw it when I was younger and it still holds a level of nostalgia with me. Whatever the reason may be, I can't help but feel the emotion when Lincoln tries to get closer to his resistant son, Mike. You've got to love a man battling for the love of his son.... err, while arm wrestling. Hahaha, It's just a great flick! Where else will you find Robert Logia, Terry Funk, a big semi, arm wrestling, and custody battles in the same plot?