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Reviews
Summer of Sam (1999)
Greastest serial killer movie ever made
Director Spike Lee made a great serial killer movie based on a real serial killer. Summer of Sam is masterful. It's easy to see why Spike Lee is brilliant. He was able to take a retro story that many people know about and make it interesting. Many hack low rent studios like Barnholtz or York have tried to feed on making serial killer movies based on real killers. They fail every time. Summer of Sam weaved together what was happening with average citizens in and around where Son of Sam was killing people. The cast was equally as brilliant as Spike Lee. Story had me hooked. Not from Son of Sam perspective. It was how people in this neighborhood related to each other. The ending was perfect. Spike Lee you are my hero.
Boston Strangler: The Untold Story (2008)
Strangle me!
Boston Strangler: The Untold Story has been told. Not by this movie. It has been told by numerous docs and news shows. This movie is another example of low rent studios try to cash in on serial killer exploits no matter if it is a bad movie. Spike Lee showed with Son of Sam how to make a great movie based on a serial killer that has been covered from head to toe by docs and news shows. Nothing was shown that grabbed me by my collar.
No tension existed. Either who ever made this didn't know how to build up to the murders or didn't care. They collected their money from the studio. They don't care what people think. I am pleading directly to the director and studio chief of this movie to stop this. Planet earth is over run with waste. We as a people do not need to add to it with this sorry movie. Where do disappointed people write to get a refund? Who is with me?
The Red Cell (2008)
York Entertainment please stop putting out movies
This studio releases horrendously bad movies. If Ed Wood were alive today York Entertainment would offer him a long term deal. I take that back. Ed Wood movies were better than any movie I've watched or tried to watch from this studio. There was a movement to stop Uwe Boll. Movie watchers should unite against York as a studio. Who is with me?
My GF is going through this Saw phase wanting to watch graphic horror movies that try to gross people out. The Red Cell was her suggestion. The Red Cell is nothing but a blatant attempt to steal a plot from movies like Saw, Turistas, Hostel, The Cell. None of these movies are horror any more. They should be labeled agony torture movies. I am in complete agreement with the poster that said a monkey could do a better job. The Red Cell will be your agony torture to watch. Friends do not let friends watch The Red Cell.
Disaster Movie (2008)
Worst movie ever
Disaster Movie is hands down the worst movie I have ever seen. It was even worse than Cool As Ice with Vanilla Ice. It's a spoof of many different movies. It should spoof itself. The gags were not funny at all. The jokes were completely lame. Movies like these have no purpose. They should never be made, I wasted money renting this. My GF said oh look this should be funny. It wasn't. How I watched it all the way through is beyond me. I must have tapped in to some inner strength I had no idea I had. Do not watch this movie. Disaster Movie tries it's hardest to be funny, but it never happens. I did not laugh a single time.
B.T.K. (2008)
Amateur attempt to recreate B.T.K.
I try not to go off on rants when commenting. After seeing this I can't help but rant. This was such an amateurish attempt to put a spin on the story B.T.K. The real life story of this serial killer is fascinating in a macabre sense. B.T.K. was a media sensation known world wide. Now why would a director try to make a movie based on their half cocked interpretation of what made B.T.K tick? All they had to do was stick with what happened. Once in a while people that make movies get to clever for themselves. I got caught up reading about B.T.K and watching docs on what this killer did. As Rachel Maddow would say try to talk me down. B.T.K. is a movie. In movies it's expected that a director will take a little creative license with facts. B.T.K. went beyond that. What could have been a engrossing movie about a serial killer turned out to be a director playing Freud. This director needs to watch Son of Sam by Spike Lee before making one more movie.
Kill Switch (2008)
Steven Seagal say it ain't so
It used to be that when you watched a Steven Seagal you knew exactly what you were going to get. Seagal playing a rogue good guy that knocks the snot of bad guys. I loved that about his movies. The action was fun to watch. I didn't even mind when the film was sped up to make Seagal looks as fast a mongoose. As years went by you could film speed getting faster and faster during his fight scenes. Kill Switch is probably the worst Seagal movie I've seen or he has made. Seeing that he wrote Kill Switch should have been a hint that this could be his worst movie. He's not a writer. He's a kick butt action star. He's acting has never been Oscar caliber. Stven Seagal is still a better actor than Chuck Norris, Jean Claude Van Damn, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger ever where. Kill Switch was like watching your favorite boxer hang around too long for their own good. Kill Switch is not how I want to remember Steven Seagal.
Vice (2008)
Vice moves slow
I'm a little shocked that Michael Madsen was in this movie. He is one talented actor. He could have done much better than getting involved with Vice. I tried to keep from stopping the DVD player to pull Vice out. But that's what I did. The movie is sloooooooow. It moves at a crawl. Super boring action. I don't know when I officially had to turn it off before it put me to me sleep. I do recall Daryl Hannah talking to Michael Madsen in car then getting out. Daryl Hannah is way hotter with curves than she was in Wall Street. She's a timeless beauty. Even Michael and Daryl could not save this one. The plot written on the DVD sounded like it was was going to be smoking like a inferno of action. It was more like a match of boredom. The DVD was only playing 20 minutes before my GF asked me what's this about. It was taking so long for a plot to develop that it lost us. If you need help going to sleep one night rent Vice. It will do the trick.
Cold Heart Canyon (2008)
Cold Heart Canyon so bad
Like the dude from Sweden wrote. I rented Cold Heart Canyon to watch with the GF. Thought it was going to be a movie that was a thriller with nudity. Nada on that. It failed at being a soft-core erotic movie or even D list thriller. All I can think is that the mind that made this movie was dazed and confused about what they wanted this movie to be. It was way obvious while watching this disjointed plot try to be interesting. It was so bad. There were no sexy parts. The plot was a joke. The lead star was not hot at all. I thought a rule when making thrillers was your main star should have sex appeal. Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. Gina Gershon in Bound. Denise Richards in Wild Things. No sizzle only fizzle here. Not worth watching. Big pass on Cold Heart Canyon.
Pretty Cool Too (2007)
Buy this director a beer
Pretty Cool Too made me laugh. It's campy comedy with nudity. That's a winning formula in my book. Plenty of babes run wild on camera. Many of them are head turners. My favorite was Jennifer Day. She is the cat's meow. If I ever saw director Rolfe Kanefsky in a bar I would buy them a beer and say I was a fan. Once again my GF complained that Pretty Cool Too was mindless nudity in a plot less movie. She has poor taste in movies. She thought Animal House was stupid. Pretty Cool Too has plenty of laughs and nudity if you are in to that sort of thing l am. Rolfe Kanefsky wasn't trying to make Ghandi. This is a great rent when you want to tune in and tune out without having to think to much.
Sharp as Marbles (2008)
This movie sucked
Sharp as Marbles tried to be Dumb and Dumber and failed. I rented it from Blockbuster only to regret wasting good money to do so. This had to be most unfunny stupid movie made. When you go for forced laughs that don't make people laugh there is a problem. I suspect this movie was written when a couple of people were either drunk or high. It must have sounded hilarious to them when they came up with Sharp as Marbles. I can't believe that this movie was made. It looked to me that money was spent making it. It didn't look like an amateur movie. What made it amateur was how unfunny it was. Skip renting this movie if you see it some place.
Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon (2004)
Joanna Krupa hotter than the sun
Max Havoc is not a cinematic masterpiece. In fact it's a poorly produced movie. the attempt of trying to make a Hollywood action movie on a beer budget is clearly evident and does not work. What saves this train wreck of a movie is Joanna Krupa. She might be one of the hottest women in Hollywood. My GF said she can't act. I disagree and wish my GF would move out. She's a failed actress and comedian who hates on other people that actually appear in movies. Where Max Havoc took a bad turn was not more Joanna Krupa. The director or producer or studio should have included nudity parts with Joanna Krupa. When you cast eye candy you have to show eye candy. I do hate when movies feature a star like Carmen Electra on a DVD cover when they have a minor part in the movie. It's like bait and switch. I hope that Joanna Krupa is more movies.
Bikini Royale (2008)
sexy funny cinema
Bikini Royale is a light hearted sexy funny movie that's awesome. Fred Olen Ray once again proves why he is a successful movie maker. He has built a blue print for making these type of movies that involve nudity with comedy. He uses many of the same cast members. When watching you can see that every actor is comfortable with each other. He uses simple plots not getting caught up in trying to be a Oliver Stone. Some times people want to watch a movie they don't have to think to much about. The skin factor in Bikini Royale is perfect. What is amazing is that for having so many hot women in his movies that they can really act. Not in a dramatic way, but comedic way. Fred Olen Ray is the KING of late night cinema hands down.
Mad Bad (2007)
Mad Bad boring
Mad Bad was flat. The story wasn't interesting in any way. It never seemed to click. The silver lining to his poor movie was Vincent Riverside. He was awesome! He did his best to save this movie. You can't ask for any more than he gave. Vincent Riverside has a screen presence that is commanding. This was a copy cat of the Nic Cage movie with Jolie where he is a car thief. I was disappointed that the movie tried to be slick instead of have any story. It was a car commerical that tried to be a movie. Vincent Riverside reminded me of Christian Slater. This actor should be in a studio movie soon. He has too much talent to not rise above low budget movies.
Voyeurs Sex Club (2003)
Nikki Fritz once again shines
Nikki Fritz is one of the sexiest stars of our generation. Most people don't know who she is because for some reason she has been only able to star in late night erotic cinema. It's a shame. She is a beauty with a wonderful body that should have been a bigger star than Sharon Stone. Voyeurs Sex Club is a sexy and campy story about a group of good looking friends that have a contest to see who can get the hottest photo of people caught having sex. The premise is simple. It gives an excuse for people to be seen nude on camera. Nikki Fritz as Catalina out shines every other actor. What makes Nikki Fritz so good is that she has a subtle acting style that isn't over the top like say Cameron Diaz. She would be great in a Ben Stiller movie.
Juarez, Mexico (2005)
James Cahill one cool cat
James Cahill catches a lot of flack over his movies. Being a curious person I rented Juarez Mexcio to see why people have said James Cahill stinks as a director. The DVD cover looked pretty awesome. The movie was better than I had ever expected. James Cahill plays El Paso gumshoe Johnny Cash. His assistant asks his help in finding out what happened to a missing girl that among hundreds reported. James Cahill as a actor isn't bad. What impressed me most was his directing. Juarez Mexico has a much better look than most low budget movies made by independent studios. The camera work was really good. Over looked is how awesome Carmen Perez was as Gloria. She will be a star.
I would suggest to James Cahill if he ever reads these posts is to include some nudity in his future movies. People make fun on late night erotica but those studios understand to compete with million dollar movies they have to give people a little skin. My favorite part of Juarez Mexico was a bar room brawl where Johnny Cash hands out his own brand of justice.
The Witches of Breastwick 2 (2005)
Nikki Fritz is perfection
The Witches of Breastwick 2 stars veteran late night actress Nikki Fritz. She's made a career in the erotica movie business. Blessed with a outrageously hot body Nikki Fritz screams sex appeal on screen. I won't kid myself about The Witches of Breastwick 2 being anything more than a Cinemax staple. What cannot be denied is how good Nikki Fritz looks nude. Perfect hair, perfect tan, perfect breast job, perfect legs, and trimmed landing pad if you catch my drift. Her acting ability is overlooked for obvious reasons to viewers. She's a better actress than Cameron Diaz who has that annoying laugh. The Witches of Breastwick 2 is outright campy. I could go over the plot, but what would be the point?
B. Monkey (1998)
Intense thriller
Asia Argento is a cinema goddess that plays a thief active in London's underbelly. She's caught up in strange love triangle between her male crime partner and his straight laced lover. Each wanting the other. When the two gay lovers split Asia slowly corrupts the straight laced character. The acting by every one is robust and intense. Asia Argento once again proves in B. Monkey why she should be considered a great actor. I love her European attitude view of nudity. She has no problem taking her clothes off showing her body. That line in a John Mayer song about a wonderland had to be made in honor of Asia Argento.
B. Monkey is a story that touches on what it's like to live on the edge of society. I was engrossed in this cinematic masterpiece from minute one.
The Brown Bunny (2003)
Vincent Gallo cinematic rebel
Vincent Gallo is a talented actor and director that will be remembered by movie fans for years. The Brown Bunny is way ahead of it's time and place in cinema. The story is about pro motorcycle racer Bud Clay played by Vincent Gallo. Bud carries around personal demons that make him miserable. His career stalls until he decides to head to California to race. Along the way he meets a needy woman and equally tortured soul played by Chloe Sevigny.
Both look for comfort with each other. It doesn't work because Bud is in love with a woman from his past. The Brown Bunny has a masterful part where Bud and this woman are in a rundown seedy motel getting intimate. I was shocked to see actual oral sex performed by Chloe Sevingy on Vincent Gallo. The sexual act was not sexy at all. Looking deeper it was a sad part of the movie because these characters were trying to escape like an addict looking for a fix. Either seemed to be enjoying themselves. Vincent Gallo should be praised for this movie. It's a emotional and haunting story. John McCain and Sarah Palin called themselves mavericks. Vincent Gallo and Chloe Sevingy are real mavericks,