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danielcbartlett
Reviews
Showgirls (1995)
How we all wish the world would be!
Fellow gentleman, how about an Oscar for showgirls! You know what i'm talking about eh.
Firstly, lets talk about what really enthralls in this film. The nudity. I've been watching "saved by the bell" all through my adolescence, so to get the chance to see elizabeth berkely in her birthday suit was an absolute treat.( I would have preferred Tiffany Thiessen, but you can't have it all.) I love nudity in films and, needless to say, this movie delivered again and again and again. Second on the list for a good movie. Sex scenes. Once again showgirls really brought home the bacon. I could literally smell the testosterone of the scriptwriters.
Chaps, pretend for a moment that no women are watching or listening or judging you, you head down the local DVD rental store and you have a choice, "showgirls" or "casablanca". Which one will you pick? Thought so.
I suggest Gentleman of the Oscar panel, that if men had there own way all films would be made in the model of showgirls and all girls would be made in the model of Tiffany Amber Thiessen.(It really is a shame she wasn't in it because I would LOVE to see her naked.)
This review is dedicated to real men!
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
School play on the big screen
Who did the casting for this movie, really? Its like watching a bad school play, I had to cover my eyes up in so many scenes to stop myself from cringing. I have seen adaptations of this great book performed better in local theatres.
Is this another case of the emperors new clothes? I think so. Guys, come on, could you really see any of the actors in this film passing an audition even for a daytime soap opera.
The story is great, but thats because the book was so well written, so we can't give this movie credit for its brilliant plot. So we judge it on its acting, screenplay and cinematography.
Plot 10. everything else. 0 Read the book.
Basic Instinct (1992)
This film broke the pause button on my vcr!
What a great movie! The big question of course, is did we actually see ms stones babymaker in its full glory in the films most famous scene. I have spent endless hours infront of my television trying to answer this question without any conclusive answer. Perhaps this will remain one of the worlds greatest mysteries.
Of course the film is not just about this single moment, there are other great clips too, like the numerous sex scenes and when she stands in front of the window as nature intended her. (pause button in overdrive again.) I don't have any real quibbles with this film, if you like nudity, mystery and sex, you'll love this film. 10/10.
Meet the Spartans (2008)
misunderstood brilliance
How can so many people miss the point of this movie. Its a parody of another movie. I think all the people criticising this film should go and watch a movie called 300 first and then watch it again. Believe me if you do this you'll soon be cursing yourself for sounding like such fools.
The way it takes a serious film (300) and makes it hilarious is cutting edge. My favourite scene was the dance off, if you know anything about sparta you would know that there is no way they would ever dance, let alone take the time for choreography lessons. Not funny if you know nothing of spartan culture, bone-achingly funny if you do.
Thats the tragedy of this film, if people watched 300 first, or did any historical research into spartan culture, they would see the wonderful humour brimming so tantalisingly beneath the surface. We are not laughing at what the spartans are doing, but rather laughing at things they would never do. Irony is the mother of comedy.
I challenge you to watch 300, research ancient sparta and then watch this film. You won't regret it.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
Masterpiece
Have we all been watching the same movie? In a franchise that was until this point fairly average, finally somebody decided to make a movie that was true to the comic books.
From the moment the opening credits rolled I was convinced I was witnessing a film worthy of the best film Oscar, perhaps the fact it wasn't even nominated will remain the greatest oversight in film making history.
High points: A villain that offered evilness personified, campness and humour all rolled into one, chris reeve really excelling in a script finally worthy of the role, and a wonderful reprisal from gene hackman.
Low pointd: ended too damn soon. lol.
Cinematography was exceptional, I really believed superman was flying. Music was spot on as always so no change there.
How superman iv is so unpopular will always remain a mystery to me. I rate it fifth in my top five after godfather, seven samurai,rear window and the good the bad and the ugly.
Pure cinema. Pure genius. Pure superman as he was intended. Stop everything and watch this movie. Faultless!!!
I.D. (1995)
Shadwell army
This film is so very British.
Its loosely about football and fundamentally about violence.
Except it isn't very violent. Well it is but it all seems harmless really, the're all good boys deep down. Look at the way they look after Gumbo. He can't even carry a tray of beers bless him.
The "scary" landlord speaks like yoda, which i think is a masterstroke. Every pub needs a landlord who threatens punters in yodaspeak.
It somehow manages to show a dark underbelly of society where you could take your Nan for tea and biscuits. We all know she'd love the rock.
That, I think, is what makes it so wonderfully British. Love this film.
Don't miss 8/10
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Newmans finest hour
Have been going through my Paul Newman collection since hearing of his sad departure and having watched Cool Hand Luke for the umpteenth time it never ceases to amaze me that "shawshank redemption" is continually rated as a better prison film than this 60's masterpiece.
All of the The background characters in "cool hand Luke" are totally believable as cons whilst maintaining your empathy( this is not the case in so many modern prison films, shawshank included). The screenplay was superbly written, loaded with excellent quotes, whilst the direction of the movie is most notable for its ability to really make you feel the thirst and humidity of working in a chain gang.
As for the title character, Luke remains the ultimate anti hero, Paul Newman(RIP) was born to play this kind of role, and boy did he play it well.