stewart_tranter's Reviews

Airplane! (1980)

10/10

15 November 2003

It's just so funny. There's probably a really funny gag every 20 seconds. That's all there is to say. Surely? LOL!

Well, not quite. Here's my favourite joke from the film:

Striker sits down on the plane next to an old lady. Old Lady: Nervous? Striker: Yes... Old Lady? First time? Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times...

LMAO!!

Brilliant.... 10/10

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The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

4/10

Why? Why? Why?

14 November 2003

What a load of old pap. Not as bad as the second one, but still stinks to high heaven. The matrix loses pretty much all credibility now. They should've stopped at the first film. That was good. Then they forgot how to make a film. :-(

And the captain of the ship Colt (Peter Lamb) ruined the film by including "God Damn" in every sentence. In one seen he ran in and said "God Damn" three times in one sentence!!!!! Utter rubbish...

See it to believe it! (that a film so hyped can be so bad!)

4/10

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The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

9/10

Marvellous!

20 October 2003

It's 0:45, and I'm just about to go to bed, and I see the start of the film. An hour and 45 mins later, I am very tired and it's dawning on me I will get just 5 hours sleep, but I have just realised I have seen one of the top 250 movies of all time. A true crime thriller classic. The scenary is great, with a gripping script and fantastic acting - I can't believe I never heard of this movie before!!

Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw are fantastic, and the ending is absolutely brilliant!

A must watch 9/10

Stewart

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Bad Boys II (2003)

9/10

Hilarious! 9/10

12 October 2003

Great action and, if you can take a joke, absolutely hilarious! Way better than the previous one! The humour goes pretty low at some points, but it's so funny. Not a serious action movie in any way, more of a comedy.

Made me laugh and now I'm happy and have a smile on my face! Can't say fairer than that!

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Old School (2003)

7/10

Good!

23 June 2003

Surprisingly good. Pretty funny all the way though, even despite a rather bizarre plot. Still it made me laugh, like it was supposed to. Not the most in depth of comedies, but still entertaining.

I don't really remember much about the film apart from that it was funny!

7/10

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Turbulence (1997)

6/10

Unbelievable. Contains lots of Spoilers!

9 June 2003

Warning: Spoilers

*******************Contains Spoilers********************************

Well, the whole movie is pretty unbelievable. After all that had happened previously (the plane was hijacked by criminals, the flight crew were murdered, one of the criminals turned into a crazy murderer, the cabin depresurised, the killer hacked out the auto pilot with an axe, the stewardess lost her blouse fighting a fire, the plane flew into a full strength storm) the plane crashed into the top of several LA buildings without receiving any damage, apart from getting a Ford Explorer attached to one of the wheels!

There were some plain ridiculous moments - like when the stewardess believed the crazy fool murderer (Ray Liota) over the advice of the Air Traffic Control Tower.

It was also fairly ridiculous when the attached Ford Explorer was removed by a USAF pilot who disobeyed the order from the nasty FBI guy to shoot down the 747.

Anyway despite more complications than your average transatlantic flight, it landed safely. There was even a hint of romance at the end when the blouseless stewardess met the British pilot who tutored her down onto terra firma...

Still, it was the best thing on at midnight and it's a darn sight better than the Matrix reloaded!

Enjoyable, unbelievable, watch if it's on, if not, don't worry about renting it.

6/10

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The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

1/10

The best sequel ever? God no!

5 June 2003

Warning: Spoilers

Oh jeez this is bad. It's boring with long mind numbing scenes of fighting, which we'd already seen done in the first Matrix and some very cheesy lines. It's so bad and corny at one point, the hair on the back of my neck actually stood up because of the cringe factor!

Keanu Reeves is his usual terrible self, with no idea of emotion, dialogue or any acting qualities. The others are ok, with Laurence Fishburne doing quite well.

***START OF POSSIBLE SPOILER***

Some of the special effects are even a bit dodgy, in particular the lorry top fighting scene on the freeway.

***END OF POSSIBLE SPOILER***

I will concede however, that some of the special effects are good.

Halfway through, I wondered what the hell is going on here, and what is the point of what they are doing. I wasn't on my own thinking this either, all of my friends said this too. It is complete gibberish! It gets laughably unbelievable towards the end, at which point I felt like laughing.

There are also some glaring continuity errors, which kinda spoil the movie even more, if it wasn't already bad enough...

This movie is drivel, but still go see it just so you don't go see any further Matrix "movies".

What a waste of 6...

1/10

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Crossroads (I) (2002)

I really like Britney, but...

31 May 2003

Although I was a big fan of Britney (not her music!), this is a pretty poor movie, after 15 mins I was looking to see how long was left (about 80 if you are wondering).

Nothing especially strikes me as being really poor, it's just the whole package. The cheese/cringe factor is very high, but then again what can you expect for a road/coming of age movie with Britney Spears?

Still, Britney looks lovely in it, and I think that seems to be the point...

2-5/10

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Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

Dire

12 November 2002

Oh this was bad. It was just plain stupid (not funny). It was boring too, I fell asleep half way through - that was the highlight of the movie for me.

Don't go, save yourself the misery...

3/10

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The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Bad, but...

12 November 2002

Ok, generally this was a poor movie. It started well, but then took a dive into moronicness similar to that of a plane falling out of the sky - steep and to certain doom.

It did however make one important point, don't be timid and back off when it comes to relationships and love. Take the bull by the horns. This of course they could've written down on a piece of paper and saved everybody the trouble of going to see the film.

The only other positive is the fact that Cameron Diaz is not wearing much throughout the whole film ;-) I know it's shallow, but she is beautiful. It's a shame she couldn't show off her acting ability in this movie as well as her other more obvious talents.

5/10

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The Ipcress File (1965)

Thrilling

12 November 2002

A fantastic 60s spy thriller. No flashy special effects, just dark alleys, edge of the seat suspense and high quality acting and screenplay.

It's Michael Caine at his best. It's probably the best of the Harry palmer series, but I haven't seen the whole set yet.

Definitely recommended.

9/10

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Down to Earth (2001)

3/10

Rubbish

30 August 2002

Oh, if there was ever a terrible movie. This was just one long advert for "Chris Rock the stand up comedian". And not a very good one at that! Having seen some of his stand up, most of the jokes in this movie were way below par.

A bad movie with some terrible acting, a weak plot and bad jokes!

However, the sound track was good. But you don't need to see the film to hear it. It's R'n'B/black music. By far the best thing in the film. Just buy it and forget the film.

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Panic Room (2002)

8/10

Brilliant...

27 June 2002

Stylish? Yes. Tense? Yes. Edge of the seat stuff? Yes.

Panic Room is a really enjoyable movie to watch with some really tense scenes. At one point, I looked round and almost all of the cinema was sitting on the edge of their seats staring at the film!

The movie looks very high quality, with some smooth and clever camera work which adds so much to the tension. Even some really poor broadcasting by the cinema I chose to watch Panic Room in did not distract from the movie.

There are some interesting parts in the plot which I didn't expect, and some intriguing plans.

I real must see film, one of the best I've seen for a while.

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Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

6/10

Very Ordinary

31 May 2002

I haven't seen the older movies, unlike most of the planet and I am taking care that I watch the movies in their correct order.

I enjoyed Episode One immensely. It is a shame then that I nearly walked out after the first 45 minutes of utter rubbish that George Lucas offered this time. The storyline was slow and trudging, flicking about between the pitiful excuse for a romance story and the deathly dull build up to the action, with some horrible acting from Hayden Christensen.

Thankfully, I decided to stay. After about 45 minutes the film suddenly burst into life, with dynamic acting, purposeful action, fast paced script etc etc. In the end I found the rest of the film gripping, entertaining and what one would expect from a Star Wars film, apparently.

But, the first 45 minutes force me to give it only 6/10.

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