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Cabin Fever (2002)
horror is dead, long live the mediocre.
Some animals when caught in a trap gnaw their own limbs off to escape. Its how I felt watching this, I wanted to gnaw my way through the fire escape to freedom. A pointless brew of far better films all thrown into a hat and chosen at random to rip off. Homage perhaps? No, I think not. Everything thats wrong with cinema is in this film, its a checklist of incompetence. A plot line thats moves along with all the coherence of a James Brown interview. Characters you hate 5 minutes before you walk into the theater. No explanation for why things are happening (not that you will care). Nothing is good about this, not a thing. Its not even good in a bad way. The makers obviously were suffering from the flesh eating virus featured in the film, it must have eaten that part of their brain that deals with originality and creativity.
Had they stuck to making a creepy little film in a cabin with all the usual stereotypes and a few thrills this might have been a real homage to the genre (is their a stuck in a cabin genre?). Instead they try to be clever. Who lets these people near a camera? Who's responsible for these films? Who in their right mind thinks a Homage to Cujo is a good idea?
There are much better films out there to be seen, in fact. Why not hire the old films this heap tries to Homage. Watch Evil Dead again, even Cujo. Enjoy Night of the Living Dead (and its real ironic ending) go now and watch the classics, learn from them. Learn from the past and if your ever given a camera and a budget then you will have a real grounding in the history of the horror film. I get the feeling these folk cheated on their horror exams, thats why they know nothing about real Homage. You have to love a genre not treat it with contempt, this was made by people who probably thought Jeepers Creepers was robbed of an Oscar.
Harsh? possibly. Feel free to be your own judge, but as you have read. Ive judged this film already and found it guilty, your reading its obituary. Lets hope it doesn't have a partner in crime......A Sequel.
I cavalieri che fecero l'impresa (2001)
Dont see this, you will hate yourself if you do
We got into see this for free and still felt like we had been ripped off. If anything good came from watching this film it was the hilarity from talking about it on the way home. Despite its fair budget the film looks cheap, Edward Furlong is about as convincing as a knight as Hugh Grant would be as a Bond Villain. To give it some due we did see the Dubbed version. The only decent scene has a guys nose being sliced off, there you go, lucky for him he couldnt tell how much of a stinker this film was. Anyway that was the good bit, you dont have to go.