Change Your Image
angre1-1
Reviews
Strange Wilderness (2008)
not that terrible of a movie
Is it the godfather? No. Is it raging bull? No. Is it a decent waste of time? Sure. I am a Steve Zahn fan, so I enjoyed it. The acting is not the greatest--this is a group of friends that have access to cameras, and just had a good time. There isn't much of a script--again, it is a group of friends that got together. But, not every movie has to change the world. You can't watch every movie just to change your life or perspective on world hunger. I don't think I would go so far to buy this movie, or even rent it. But to watch it on cable? Not a bad deal. Sometimes, sometimes, you just want to go to woods and wander around and look at porcupines. Strange wilderness, indeed.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010)
decent waste of time with family
Was this Godfather? No. Was this Gone With the Wind? No. Was Good the Bad the Ugly? No. This was a kids movie. Whenever you watch a kids movie, you have to take a couple steps back from the critique line. Oh, I slammed several movies that tried to appeal to the mid-teens and up because they just bombed! This movie really does remind me of Christmas Story--everyone can (or should) be able to relate to the agony of mid life (mid life being middle school). The kids aren't terrible actors, the story is mildly interesting, the plot holes are cheesy and ignored. I enjoyed the time I spent watching it with my son, and being able to laugh with him. So, no, I don't see best actor awards being given for this film, but I went into realizing that at the beginning, and was not disappointed. For all the haters, I think they are just looking for slick, perfect movies. Like childhood, this one has a little bit of acne and angst. It won't kill you, and it is sometimes painful, but you will get thru it.
Alexander (2004)
why bother
The problem with this movie is that Alexander is such a wonderful character, that telling his story would be enough for a great movie. But when you have it written more fictionalize then a reality TV show, it loses it's credibility. What is really sad is that people will use this movie as a filler for their interest in History. They will go around thinking about this move and Braveheart, and think they know everything about the past. Sadly, some kid will watch it and skip doing his homework. And why? There was no need. Again, the life of Alexander was exciting enough...so why bother making everything up? I had almost the same problem with 300....the documentary surrounding the history was so good it brought down the movie. The difference is that "300" was entertaining...
Everybody Hates Chris (2005)
i hate chris rock, but terry crews rocks
I have never seen chris rock in a movie or a show that i cared for. Well, the TV at work only gets one channel, and so I watch it on weekends. Just so you understand. Since I have been watching the show, I have become a huge Terry Crews fan. I hope when the show is canceled that he continues to find success in TV and movies, and I would recommend the show to anyone based on his performance alone. In fact, mute the parts about chris, and you can still enjoy the show. So, 5 out of 10. Because it still centers on Chris. Of course, I also loved jack benny, so maybe i just love cheap penny pinching characters. Anyway, if you haven't watched the show, try to get some face time in with it before it goes away.
Speed Racer (2008)
speedrace away from this one!
Okay, I can't understand this...it was based on a cartoon...it should be like a cartoon. That means, to me, it should appeal to small children...but it is rated PG? Umm, what happened? Your target audience is little kids, and you end up with a PG rating? Not a good sign.
The race tracks were awesome--a super-imaginative roller coaster...but too often the camera switches to a view of the actors feet so we can see which pedal they are pushing...and how did that matter? We, the viewing audience, had no idea which pedal does what...
And somehow, in the middle of this cartoon, the movie that is based on racing, and features awesome tracks, and cool cars, and so on, becomes a movie about stock manipulation and hostile corporate takeovers? What? Isn't this a cartoon? I can't understand this...
Maybe next time, try to remember what it was like to be a child, or at least ask one every couple of hours while filming to make sure you are still on track...
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)
good but not in the way I expected
This would have been a great movie without Hellboy. This was a compelling story about Prince Nauda and Princess Naula, twin elves that hold the fate of the world in their hands. This whole story could have been easily reworked without ever bringing in Hellboy, and it would have been an instant modern fairy tale classic (kind of redundant).
In Hellboy the first installment, the bad guy (Rasputin, the mad monk) wants to destroy the world. He has no plans for what takes it's place; he merely wants to open the portal between the old gods and the new world, and allow the old gods free reign to destroy and destroy...himself included. It is easy to hate him, and root for Hellboy.
This bad guy, Prince Nauda, though, isn't a bad guy. This is shades of grey. And though Hellboy might have a beef with him, in different times and different places, Hellboy probably would have been his bodyguard (instead of Wink). Sooooo....
I did like this movie. The visuals, as always, were stunning. The story was nice (sadly, a bit predictable), and worth the ticket price. And gosh, who hates Ron Perlman? Nobody, that's who. I would go see it again, but I hear Dark Knight is way cool, too.
Godzilla (1998)
a disaster movie becomes a disaster of a movie
If they had played this serious, you could have had a decent movie. Instead the producers and directors were so intent on having so many inside jokes and "bon mots" that the story is just lost. Also, having so many comedic actors was distracting. Matthew Broderick? Harry Shearer? Hank Azaria? More suited to light comedy fare. Not a disaster movie. Which ended up making this a disaster of a movie. And what was with all the rain? I felt drenched after watching this. I hope that someone somewhere decides to update godzilla, and do it the way it should have been done this time. With a sense of responsibility, and without putting in silly grudges. And with some decent acting. A nice script. God...the list goes on and on...
Twister (1996)
don't try this at home!
Did everyone feel the way I felt? I was rooting for the twister. I live in Madisonville, Ky, where in 2005 we had the strongest tornado (F4 but some say F5) in the country that year. Amazingly enough, we did not lose a single life in that hellstorm. But...we did not have the bland characters living in our town that live in this movie. And the final scene? Where Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt strap themselves to the pipes? Well...just so you know...a tornado of that intensity is going to rip concrete from the ground, making you forget it was even there. It is going to pick up combines and toss them like children's blocks. It is going to suck their eyes out of their heads. It is going to strip the skin from their bones. And that isn't even taking into account the damage from the blowing debris! A piece of straw is going to be slung at them at 150 mph. Sand is going to strip their clothes and flesh from them. Sounds kind of biblical...but basically, remember, you are not going to survive. For them to survive, and then just sit there and *smooch*, well, it was sickening. If that had actually happened, kissing is farthest thing from your mind--you want to know where your change of pants is at...
Team America: World Police (2004)
great subtle movie with overt facade
If you read the negative reviews of the movie, you will see an almost universal panning of the movie due to the way it treats the liberal intellectuals of Hollywood. Right wing propaganda it is often called. Some point out, and are close to the mark, that this film actually skewers both sides equally, but they seemed to hate the movie because it wouldn't pick a side. It is neither anti-liberal, nor pro-conservative. It is like a welfare mom condemning abortion, one foot in one world and judging the other half. And that is it's genius. Oh, I am not going to nominate either Parker or Stone for a Nobel Prize, or a Macarthur grant, but what they did was pick the hardest road of all--the one in the middle. The movie opens with World Police attacking terrorists in France. That would be skewering the right--what business would we have exerting our military influence somewhere in Europe? Their country, their problem. Yet, in real life, we do exactly that. Often at the request of the European nations (France begging us to help Yugoslavia, anyone?) Even when it would be best for us to keep our noses out of their business, we seem to be dragged into every little international squabble. We are viewed, by the world, as the worlds policemen. (How many times have you heard of some little place in the world begging America to please send troops to end the civil strife? I literally remember dozens of times.) On the flip side, when there is something that we should be involved in, we often avoid it like the plague. We have a host of idiots in Hollywood who think that because they get big paychecks that for some reason they are now knowledgeable about world affairs, we should listen to them. The fact that they hate the conservatives taints everything they say. They would have us avoid needed conflicts even at the destruction of our own homes, and if we do act, they act so upset that they threaten to move out of the country. This group, too, is skewered by Stone and Parker. Stone and Parker know that America is really the middle group, not the Limbaughs or the Michael Moores. We are the people at the gas station, worrying about 3.00 gasoline, milk prices going up, sub-prime mortages, and nuclear war with Iran. We don't want our boys to die for stupid causes and we don't want to send them to hopeless wars to bleed and die in places we can't pronounce. But we know our boys will go and do the job they have to do so we can go on worrying about that gas, milk, mortages and war. Sure, some of Parkers and Stones jokes are over-extended, and crass, but humor really is the juxtaposition of incongruities. Homophobic, racist, or sexist, it is what it is, and if you choose to laugh, it is up to you. Personally, I can't watch this movie without falling asleep. But I appreciate it for what it is--the realization that sometimes the middle road is harder to take, and will be judged harshly by both extremes, and thus, only the brave may travel that road. For those that have forgotten, this is the home of the brave...
Eragon (2006)
Been there, done that, only better
Let's see...you have a blond haired boy who, through the violent tragedy of his family being whacked by the evil empire, teams up with a weird old guy who turns out to be the last of the noble band of hero's this land once championed. He learns how to use a sword, brushes up his flying skills, starts learning the secrets to the hero brotherhood he aspires to become and learns a little bit of magic. Along the way, he rescues a princess in need, loses his mentor, and faces his nemesis...Oh, and they even have a friend that could be more rogue then hero that might or might not help him out of the next bind. Now, was that boy Luke Skywalker? The weird old man Obi Wan? The Princess Lei? Han Solo? Is this what I am talking about? No...it is Eragon, which coincidentally had all this...and done at such a lower rate. George Lucas was behind the special effects. If he hadn't been, he probably would have cried, "Plagiarism!" Instead of watching this poor shadow of Star Wars, get Star Wars itself....
Beowulf (2007)
Not even going to bother
Okay, i haven't even seen it, nor do I intend to. I guess my commentary is that I wouldn't pay 8 bucks to see a cartoon. If this was 30 years ago, or 20 years ago, or even 15 years ago, there were special effects that just couldn't be done. The man hanging off a clock face in a 1930's movie is REALLY HANGING ON A CLOCK FACE! The job of the director was to make us think that the actor was in peril...it helps get us into the escapism. But a cartoon? We now have special effects that can make us believe men are fighting dragons, that orcs are marching to our walls, that elves are shooting bows....whatever....but to make a cartoon just seems a cheaper way of getting my 8 bucks. I won't slam the movie cuz i didn't bother to see it...but i won't be bothered to see it, either..
Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
not realistic
Okay, that was my little funny...i know it's not realistic. But...i just don't understand...why did the monster eat the little turtle type guy? And if he could be eaten (i kept expecting him to pop up somewhere in the movie and say, "Whew! Close call!") then why can't diego eat something? How is he still going when not once did he eat a furry little critter? Anyway, that is my major complaint...except...why did they use the word, "a$$" a couple of times and "damn" once? If this is a children's movie, and except for those word usages, it was, then keep it clean. The animation was nice, I guess, and the story wasn't too boring. Still, Ice Age one is eons ahead of it. This could have been a straight to DVD movie and it would been fine...
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
boo! hiss!
Spoiler--What a waste of my time and money! I liked the first movie. I liked the characters. I liked the second the movie, and I liked the characters. The addition of nightcrawler in the second movie was very nice and fun to watch. By the way, where did he go? Anyway, 20 minutes into the movie, my wife said, "I really like the fact that the same characters are in this movie." "Same actors, you mean," I corrected. "The characters could have been replaced by different actors, but the characters would have remained the same." "Exactly," she said. "It makes it seem more continuous, like it was a real story. That makes it cool." Well, I agree with her. And then, I realized that the actors must've wanted out. Because they killed off characters mystique, rogue, charles xavier, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Magneto... Considering the first movie had each of those characters, and I revisited the series to follow their stories, it makes no sense to strip them from the movies. Now, the only reason to watch is to see Halle Berry? I don't think so. How about Hugh Jackman? Well, I guess he is going to be doing a solo project about Wolverine in 2008. Well, I guess if the movie had lasted 10 more minutes this would have a been a solo project too. And that is not what I wanted to see...
A History of Violence (2005)
god...how can I get my time back i wasted watching this crap?
Spoiler--what does the sex have to do with the movie? Don't get me wrong, I like naked women. That is because I am shallow and a male (maybe redundant, I don't know). But, in my movies, I like to have a place and reason for it. So, she dresses up like a cheerleader, they have mutual oral sex, so, now we know he loves her, she loves him? Okay...sex but no nudity. Then, later, violent sex on the stairs. Why? If she is scared of him, why did she act so passionate? And how did he keep his violence in check lo these many years until the stairs when he starts to strangle her? Wow, that self control went out the window quick, didn't it? But again, sex and no nudity. And then, all of sudden, surprise surprise, nudity with no sex. And disappointing. Wow. You know...maybe it would have been better if, say, the merciless killers in the very beginning of the movie, you remember, say, the young guy, was Tom Stalls/Joey Cusack when he was young. Then we would know that he was mean and nasty and evil. But, sadly, we never get to see a merciless mob guy Joey Cusack. In fact, the sheriff says there is no record on him. So, as far as I know still, Joey could have been a decent guy with family in the mob and just wants to get away from them. If I knew he was mean...well, maybe it would mean something. You remember Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven? Even though his character was now a good guy, you knew that not in the too distant path he had been an evil SOB who killed just about everything that walked, or crawled, and was a killer of men, women and children. Now that he was good and doing something for his family, well, that was the conflict. We never saw any evidence of Joey being bad. Well, unless you want to see a sad nude scene there is no reason to watch this movie.
Il mio nome è Nessuno (1973)
Greatest western of all time!
I love this movie! You have a Nobody (Terrence Hill) following around Jack Beauregard (Henry Fonda) like a puppy, so full of hero worship you are almost waiting for him to pass out in excitement of standing in his shadow. Jack Beauregard is the only hope for law and order in the old west, but what is left? It is the turn of the century, the west is disappearing, and Jack is trying to just get out alive. "Nobody" sets out to forever enshrine his hero into the annals of history by forcing a showdown between Jack and the greatest group of criminals in the west, 150 riders who "ride and shoot like thousands." Jack really isn't the shining knight in white armor, and tries to explain himself to Nobody time and time again. But Nobody knows better...and even if Jack doesn't realize it, he will soon. Now, to be honest, lots of cheesy type stuff in this movie. Some tongue in cheek lines, and sad dubbing. Still, for a movie that separates good and bad, white hats vs. black hats, well, that is the greatest movie of all time. Loved it.
Transporter 2 (2005)
what do you expect?
Okay okay okay, not the deepest movie of the summer. Rule number 1: Don't pay attention to the plot. Or the holes. Or the lack of writing. Rule 2: Don't expect the cheesy computer graphics to rise above 1970's era abilities. Rule 3: Go to the movie to enjoy an hour or so of great action/fight scenes. Rule 4: Don't change the rules. Well, that should work. If you want a deep movie, there's one playing about penguins wanting sex. Or is it penguins in wheelchairs playing basketball? Either way, if all you want is mindless action entertainment, then Transporter delivers. Thats all I wanted when I went to the movies today, and it is exactly what I got! Grats.
The Pacifier (2005)
not all that...
Want to see a movie were a modern day warrior, who has a gruff bark (and sometimes bite to match), finds out he actually has a softer heart then even he knew about, and along the way changes the lives of several young people that he meets, young people who distrust and dislike him at first, but then realize that he is a force of good in their lives, and then come to like him, nay, even love him, and above all else, respect him? Then rent Major Payne, a funnier movie with just about the same plot. Great movie, tho, if you are a fan of Vin Diesels. Everything else is formulaic. Not painful, but not that entertaining...will be a great movie when it's on TBS or USA but don't waste money on renting this thing.