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Mandy (2018)
Wasted potential
Somewhere inside this s-l-o-w film is a good movie trying to escape. It's a typical revenge story that's very gory but it's also a psychedelic trip as it involves large quantities of drugs. However, hen I have time to make a sandwich and eat it before a character speaks the second word of their sentence, it makes a movie impossible to watch. I've never understood why actors speaking s-l-o-w-ly and shambling like the living dead makes a film "arty." Boring as hell is more likely, except for the pretentious amongst us. You know who you are.
I kept reaching for the fast forward button as I was watching it on my PC but then I realized that I could just speed up the track by 50% and the film finally became watchable. Wow.
"Such a waste of good suffering."
Alphas (2011)
Boring.
When you find yourself looking at the clock every now and then while watching a TV show and find that only 5 minutes had passed since the last time you looked at the clock, you know that something is very wrong with the "entertainment."
Since the Sci-Fi channel decided to dumb down their programming, including the new Sy-Fy for dummies name, I have been very disappointed with that network. Still, I had hopes for "Alphas," given the premise, but it just didn't work out.
This is "Heroes" for dummies or, even worse, "X-Men" for dummies. It is flat out boring. The characters are boring, the pacing of the show is boring, the dialogue is boring!
When I looked at the clock again, already feeling very mentally fatigued from the boredom and found that only half an hour had passed, I couldn't take it anymore. I shut it off.
The dumbing down of America continues... to rave reviews.
Sigh.
Game of Thrones (2011)
Outstanding series
OK, The season is over and I have read several reviews here so now I guess it's my turn simply because I have been overwhelmed by this series.
First, I have never read the books prior to watching this. I rarely watch TV so I missed the hype. I actually stumbled across a mention of this online while surfing the web on the day that the premiere aired. The name sounded familiar and sure enough, I had heard of the books but never read them, not being a huge fantasy fan. So I thought I'd try it.
Wow, am I ever glad I did! This is the most astounding TV show I have seen since the first season of "Lost." The characters are entertaining, the story is gripping and the acting is fantastic. For the first time in years I eagerly awaited the next episode of a TV show and was never disappointed.
This isn't your typical fantasy story. First, Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings this DEFINITELY is not. This is for adults! There is a lot of violence, some gory some just shocking, and a lot of sex. Someone else mentioned they were upset because the people who were mentioning the sex didn't mention the incest involved. Well that's probably because it's an integral part of the story and could be considered a SPOILER! Others also mention that it's too weird for a "historical" piece. Umm, no. This is NOT a historical piece, ala "Camelot." This takes place in a fictional universe in a fictional time. This is NOT our Earth.
If you have not seen it and have HBO then go to On Demand or HBO GO and watch it. If you don't have HBO then order the DVD's when they become available. This is EPIC. 10 stars.
Oh, and Peter Dinklage deserves an Emmy.
Piranha 3D (2010)
Gore-fest galore
*********Spoilers Below**********
Wow, where to start with this film. First off, it is hard-core horror. It is not for the squeamish. If full tilt gore is not your cup of tea then don't watch this film.
I watched the 2D version and to be honest I didn't know what to expect. I had seen the original years before but had not even seen the trailer for this one before watching it. I was in shock. I don't think I've seen this much gore on film ever. Every single kill of these deadly fish is shown in detail. The movie teases you for awhile with a few of these and then throws an extended massacre scene at you that I, at least, was not expecting.
You get not one, not two but three people cut in half. You get the so-realistic-you'll-wince scalping of a girl. At least one graphic beheading and an endless series of people being munched on later, you find that the movie isn't over yet.
Don't get me wrong. It is a very fast-paced film with a fair amount of dark humor. Oh, yeah...there's also a ton of naked ladies, including the supremely beautiful Kelly Brook.
I've always been a fan of blood splatter horror so I enjoyed this film. But be warned; it is not for everyone. I gave it a 9.
Unknown (2011)
Total Remake
Very simple really. Why did I click on possible spoilers? Because If you've seen "Total Recall" with Arnold Schwarzenegger then you've seen this film. Change it from Science fiction to action, change the setting from Mars to Berlin and replace Sharon Stone with January Jones and it's the same thing.
Why did I give it 5 stars? Because it kept me guessing until just the same spot that "Total Recall" did. When he finds out that he's not really who he thinks he is, you pretty much know where it's going to go from there. I found myself fast forwarding just a little bit at a time and nodding to myself. It was still entertaining.
Stargate SG-1: Window of Opportunity (2000)
Groundhog Day but funnier
Wow. I am a dedicated SG1 fan and I have recently started watching the DVD's over from Season 1 and can't believe I forgot this episode existed.
This has to be the funniest and most touching episode of SG1 I have ever seen. I don't want to add any spoilers so let me just say that as I watched it I was moved to tears of laughter throughout and even had to replay some scenes just to enjoy them all over again.
O'Neill and Teal'c (and everyone else for that matter) get caught in a time loop that only those two remember. As I was watching I was thinking to myself "Why them? why not the brains of the group?" As the episode unfolds you understand why and hilarity and touching moments ensue.
If you have seen the film "Groundhog Day" then you know the initial setup. This just touched me so much more than the movie. Ten stars.
The Event (2010)
Great concept, poor writing
Well, I wouldn't say the writing is completely poor. It's just... sloppy. The pilot episode was NOT easy to follow and it frustrated even me at first but I went with it and it worked.
Several others have pointed out the sloppiness (FBI office getting trashed, gun on a plane, a reveal squashed at the last second... repeatedly, etc, etc, etc.) however I must stress that the idea, the story is just too good for people to be trashing this series out of hand.
I for one intend to give the writers time to develop this so I hope it is not canceled. I'm all caught up now to Ep 15 and await the rest with the hope that the writers read some negative reviews and get a clue. Please.
Stargate: Atlantis: The Return: Part 2 (2006)
Two plot holes I couldn't understand
It's been a few years but I'm just getting around to watching Atlantis complete run. When it originally aired I was not enthused and stopped watching rather quickly, even though I love SG-1.
"The Return" was a great story and I would have given it a 10 instead of a 5 if it weren't for two plot holes I could not figure out.
The first one is when the jumper is attacked by drones, they dive into the water and the drones just skip away into the air. Later, they fire drones at the starship engines, which are UNDER WATER, and the drones work fine.
The second one is that they rig up the shield operation to emit an anti-replicator burst throughout the city, presumably using the frequency that the guns were using, which you would think is the only one they know at the moment. Then they show us the replicators adapting to the frequency. Immediately after, the shield activation emits the frequency and all the replicators die.
It's just frustrating, unless I'm missing something.
The Hurt Locker (2008)
Boring, irritating and senseless
There's a good reason why this film pulled in only $16M at the box office. "A full-tilt action picture", "Ferociously suspenseful." Yeah right. If the hype on the DVD cover were true, this film would have rocked the box office. This movie was irritating with it's inaccuracy and boring with it's lack of plot.
It started with the opening scene. It was very gritty, suspenseful and tense... until the guy with the cell phone showed up. "Put down the phone!" Really? I've never been military but even I knew at this point that man would have been instantly shot, as proved by the reviews I've read on here by military types.
And this continued throughout the movie. Time after time this three man bomb squad behaving as if they were the Justice League of America (except for the one time when the nut case on the crew went into Baghdad by himself. At night. For no particular reason, as it turned out.) By the time we got through the sniper scene I was seriously annoyed and just wanted the movie to end so I started fast forwarding in tiny increments.
What a complete waste of time. Why is the Hollywood hype machine pushing this so madly? Is it a longing to make sure James Cameron doesn't win again?
I'm glad I didn't pay to watch this.