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Reviews
127 Hours (2010)
They had to work REALLY hard to make a movie out of this......
Unlike Wild or Soul Surfer...they had to work really really REALLY hard to make a movie out of this story of survival and triumph over nature while battling your own inner demons and fears. Yeah yeah....we've heard all the complaints. The guy was an idiot, he was irresponsible, foolish and did not have the sense that God gave an animal cracker when he set out on this trek alone in the wilderness. All said and done that is true. But what happened happened. It was moving and undoubted a difficult realization for him to finally make. BUT there wasn't enough there to make a 2 hour movie out of!!! I kept yelling at the screen "C'mon CUT YOUR ARM OFF ALREADY!!!!" Everyone KNOWS what happened!!!! No one cares about your girlfriend or beer or your hallucinations or your pushing against an immovable rock for 90 minutes!! CUT YOUR ARM OFF AND GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU WAITING 5 AGONIZING DAYS??????? Terrible movie they milked for every awful scene.SPOILER ALERT: They guy cuts off his arm at the end!
The Woman (2011)
Horribly unsettling and disturbing
Horrible, horrible horrible. This is one of the truly most horrible unsettling and disturbing things I have ever watched. The "story" makes no sense. I do not understand how this made it through the rating system and can call itself a "movie" even in the worst of the worst horror genre. It is pure torture, abuse, brutality, animal cruelty and terror. Do NOT let your kids even get a glimpse of this. Run away...block it, erase it as fast as you can And if you have any sense of what is right and decent, don't bother watching it yourself. I needed to take a shower after it was over and I will NEVER get some of the indelible images out of my mind. I cannot imagine the twisted mind that this came from. This should NEVER be called entertainment.
Wild (2014)
Unrealistic, unmoving and uninspiring......
As a woman who has solo hiked many parts of the AT I went to this movie with great hopes of being uplifted and inspired but I left unfulfilled, disappointed and bored. The portrayal of what a long distance hike takes was unrealistic and oversimplified. You do not go out unprepared and you do not just scamper over three boulders or teeter over 4 feet of slippery logs crossing a creek. The trails are fraught with many dangers from man, beast and nature. This made it look like a long hot afternoon walk. Perhaps the real woman's experience was better accounted for in her journals and subsequent book but the movie did nothing to convey her personal struggle to complete a thousand mile trek...
But what left me MOST disappointed and shaking my head....was when they managed to insert a blatant plug for REI right in the middle of the movie woven right into the dialog...("You mean they'll send me a brand new pair of boots?? No charge??? Thanks REI! You're my new favorite company!")
I went through much of the emotional turmoil this woman did (minus the drugs and promiscuity) and hoped for an emotional connection. Sadly...the movie just did NOT deliver.
Garage Sale Mysteries: Garage Sale Mystery (2013)
A True Cozy Mystery
If you know anything at all about American Cozy Mysteries then you know that this is EXACTLY what this is and should not be complaining about the "woman in danger" because you would know this is what always happens at the end of the book. It follows the formula to a "T". It was fairly well acted, got a little annoying with the camera angle when it had to show the clues the protagonist was noticing (this would have been in her head in the book). And the romantic interest of the police detective for her daughter instead of her was a nice change. All in all it was tolerable. I give them an "A" for effort. But the book would have been better, I'm sure.
Solitary (2011)
I did NOT see this one coming!
Wow.... I just happened across this yesterday on the Direct TV channel "Chlller" and I thought.....Oh Ho hum another boring movie to fill in two hours..." This one blew me away. I did NOT see the surreal twist at the end coming and it was totally off the charts. It was confusing and convoluted and you actually had to follow the plot......but they payoff at the end was well worth it. It left you scratching your head and wondering what was real and what wasn't...and what you would do if you were faced with that same situation...Locked doors, empty rooms and frightening scenarios from beginning to end. My biggest complaint about the movie?? The title does NOT do it justice. It needs a better title, a hook that will catch your attention. This one is worth watching, paying attention to and will leave you wondering what is real and what's not.
Smile (2009)
This was really really REALLY bad...
Okay....I started watching this thinking it was going to be a remake of a J-horror movie like the Grudge or the Ring or Shutter. Then I said wait...what is all this Italian stuff?? Something isn't right here. My first clue that this was going to bad AWFUL was when this group of "students" (who all happen to look like they are about 30 years old)are traveling through the barren desert on a "holiday". LO and behold...a camera is stolen (but the girl carrying it in her shoulder bag doesn't notice that it is gone until several miles later when they arrive at a village...duh) and she just happens to find a "camera shop"...yeah right.... And she buys a camera that spits out Polaroids. Then along their way they get to the edge of the desert, park their fully stocked, fully, gassed up, fully functioning Land Rover to hike on a well marked trail carrying backpacks with minimal supplies into a forest complete with streams, woods, chirping birds, deer and (gasp)meet a mysterious nomadic hunter who just happens to speak perfect English. Only to get hopelessly lost after 5 minutes. The plot while thin. had possibilities. In this movie it is just a joke. The acting is world-class awful and the only good thing the movie had going for it was a very nice Land Rover and the spectacular scenery. If you like AWFUL movies,,,this one may be your cup of tea and you may SMILE while you're watching it.
The Heat (2013)
Funny not Forced
This was a movie with the kind of chemistry between the stars that just happens, you cannot force it. You cannot make this stuff happen. It just worked and it was a riot. The language was very raunchy but once you realized that this was one of the running jokes throughout the movie and the F-bombs helped define the characters, you just kind of went with it. And YES it was predictable..it was supposed to be..that was what made it so funny. They used every joke from every Buddy Cop movie out there and every had a few wink-wink nudge-nudge moments "What do you think this is 'Training Day?'". They KNEW what they were doing and pulled it off to a "T". Sandra Bullock is at her best when she is in a comedic role....and superb when she is uptight, uncomfortable and awkward,..opposite Melissa McCathy's grungy streetwise character
This stuff isn't Oscar material...but it WILL make you laugh out loud.
The Uninvited (2009)
Haunting and Creepy
i just happened across this movie on AMC the other day and I got a chance to watch it. I found it very very entertaining and I found it haunting and very creepy. I could not forget its storyline and it stayed with me for days. I searched for my own copy to purchase and finally came across one at an affordable price. I feel I must defend it from the naysayers who are claiming "Ohhhh I saw the surprise ending coming a mile away." I didn't and it was well done. It hits you in the last 5 minutes. I loved this movie. It was atmospheric, subtle and very well done. It was creeeeeeepy and kept me thinking about it for days after I saw it. Loved it loved it loved it. The creep factor without the gore? 10+
Chupacabra vs. the Alamo (2013)
Noooo Could it get any worse????
SciFi Made for TV Movies are notorious for being bad all the way around but this one has sunk to new lows. They have pulled another recognizable name out of retirement and honestly.....time has not been kind to Erik Estrada. He has not aged well and any acting skills he may have had are long gone. I guess a paycheck is a paycheck but this is bordering on sad. And of course....what can you say about the CGI?? Typical Made for SciFi TV movie standards....cartoonish at best..ridiculous at the least. This is one of those movies that is so bad, you'll watch it for laughs if you didn't feel sorry for Erik Estrada and wish he hadn't shown up for this one. He should stick to Infomercials for Viagra or Reverse Mortgages.
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)
Just go for the 3D and amazing special effects.
NOTHING will ever replace the original Wizard of OZ. It is and always will be a classic. If you want your kids to see something that will stay with them for a life time, show them the original and explain it to them. Even if they roll their eyes.
But go to see this movie just for the special effects and amazing 3D. Ignore the bad acting, the wink, wink, nudge nudge "in" jokes and very thin story line.
There were some moments that even reminded me of 50's classics like Fantasia and Alice in Wonderland. Wow!!
Just go and enjoy. Even the opening credits are amazing. It will take your breath away.
Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Pure drek Pure torture.......Run away!!!
I don't usually take the time to add another review when there are already 347 on this site but I have to add my opinion to this one.
I went yesterday with a friend who was dying to see this movie. So I agreed to go with her.
THis was this worst pile of pointless, boring, unfunny, unromantic garbage that I have ever seen and it took all of my will power to literally keep from walking out.
It was pretentious. trying to be quirky funny and charming and didn't hit any of those marks.
This was a product made for the Hollywood with all the hype that came along with it.
As much as I hate to use that movie review cliché that everyone hates....This IS two hours of my life that I will never get back, along with my $7 that I wasted just to placate a friend.
My advice....If you REALLY REALLY want to see this movie. Go alone, sit in the dark theater and enjoy it. Do not drag anyone else and make them suffer through two hours of pure torture.
Chasing UFOs (2012)
Ghost Hunters and UFO Sightings Get Married
This show is sooo bad is violates even my low standards of reality television and I am a big fan of anything to do with UFOs or ghosts. It is patently ridiculous. Yet another trio of people claiming to be "experts" (at what we don't exactly know) running around in silly hats equipped with every possible night vision camera and every POV angle you can think of. (Yeah, like the guards at that military base AREN'T going to suspect anything.........While they hide under trees and scurry away from military helicopters with searchlights tracking them from the air. And for some ridiculous reason, while they are out to SOLVE THE ROSWELL CRASH MYSTERY single handedly, they feel the need to take to the desert in the DARK with their metal detectors to look for scraps of metal and become positively giddy when they WHOO HOO !!!!! Find something.(I guess they HAD to use all those night vision cameras.....)
The formula takes about one episode to figure out. "Let's split up.."
It is beyond stupid.
I actually had to turn it off last night.
I felt my brain turning to mush,
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)
Sadly Disappointing Not Funny, Not Quirky, Just Sad
I went to this movie looking for the poignancy and quirkiness of "Little Miss Sunshine", the dead pan humor of "The Office". Unfortunately,I found neither. It was somehow sadly disappointing and I actually found myself literally struggling to stay awake. There was no chemistry, no humor, no off-beat characters who I wanted to root for. Just a bunch of very irritating people.
ANd the actors schlogging through what they apparently thought were very clever roles.
I could not warm up to Penny at all, lugging her records around with her>She was just annoying...although she was beautiful WHEN SHE WAS ASLEEP!!!!
I did not believe her burly survivalist buddies who just happened to have a stable of Smart Cars (Come On!!! where were the Hummers????)Honestly. I did not even like the dog. Even he didn't seem to care about anything, he kept looking off camera to his trainer and he should have been one of the most likable in the bunch..
I knew things were supposed to be out of kilter, it was after all the count down to the end of the world.....but nothing in this movie made any sense. Everything was flat and one dimensional, little depth to the story
The best thing I got out of it?? Two hours in a cool dark theater on a 100 degree afternoon and a quick 5 minute nap in the middle when I got so bored I literally couldn't stay awake..
Unless you just want to spend 2 hours in a air conditioned movie theater on a hot hot day......don't bother with this mess of a movie. Save your $10.00.
The Three Stooges (2012)
Sweet, innocent and funny
Much much better than I expected. I went with hubby who is a major Stooge fan. The casting must have been a riot for this movie because the guys they got were dead on...The look was just right, costuming on the money, even down to the scuffed shoes
(I notice details..) How many Moe Larry and Curly wannabes did they have to go through before they got it right? It was perfect. They had all the sight gags,the pratt falls, the slaps, the eye pokes and the running jokes. Loved Nippy the Rat! It was a sweet, funny innocent and FUN movie. I was NOT expecting to have such a good time.
One down note.......The disclaimer at the end of themovie???? At first we thought it was one of the gags.Noooooooo
They were SERIOUS. Give it a rest lawyers!
We KNOW you shouldn't whack your little brother in the head with a sledge hammer.
One for the Money (2012)
Fun and flirty
Although I am a major mystery fan, I am NOT an Evanovich fan. I find her books to be frantic, the pacing jarring and the characters confusing.I didn't understand how she got 18 books out of this character. After that many some people are just phoning them in.
That being said, I had to see this movie. Even though it was clearly a chick flick, hubby agreed to go. It turned out to be benign, funny and enjoyable. The characters finally made sense to me and I could follow the plot, something I tended to have trouble with in her books. Catheine Heigl was gorgeous, of course, but she was edgy and funny enough to seem real and believable. (All the gun stuff was hysterical.) And hubby said he liked it. It was just s fun afternoon movie. Nothing heavy, nothing serious. Just a sexy romp rounding up the bad guys.
Do I want to run out and try to read the books again??? No. I hated them But I did enjoy the movie very much.
Joyful Noise (2012)
Footloose Goes Gospel
I went to this movie yesterday (reluctantly).
I must admit, I enjoyed it but I found that the incredibly thin plot got in the way of the absolutely spectacular music and the premise was a bit ridiculous.
I live in the rural south and I know that churches are still the most segregated places you will ever see. The odds of you actually finding a rich white woman, her grandson, a shy Asian guy and a couple of good natured rednecks in the same church with amazingly talented African Americans and an uptight African American preacher are pretty astronomical.
That being said, if you are willing to suspend your disbelief on that point, it was a fun movie. It started out a bit slow but once it got rocking it was a blast.
Forget the story...it was predictable, warm fuzzy and feel good.
Queen Latifah is gorgeous and has an amazing stage presence.
Dolly?? What can you say about Dolly??? She is an icon.
It was just fun. Don't go looking for anything else.
Rizzoli & Isles (2010)
cannot suspend my disbelief.....
This is a buddy show and most buddy shows are guy things. The subtext which is supposed to be funny is just not working because the chemistry isn't there (think Xena and Gabrielle..the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife) I love the idea of Rizzoli & Isles but I simply cannot suspend my disbelief.
Angie Harmon is drop-dead gorgeous.
I am supposed to think that she is awkward and inept in social situations? That she does not know how to dress or doesn't shave her legs?? C'mon..I mean really? She may have been an awkward teenager but believe me, she's grown out of it. I wish they had used the "Miss Congeniality", ugly duckling storyline If it worked for Sandra Bullock, it would have worked for Angie Harmon and been much more entertaining.
Cold Creek Manor (2003)
The Pony was toast......
I just happened across this movie on television the other night. I was excited because there are so few "good" movies worth watching on satellite TV.I settled in with my dinner and was ready for an entertaining evening.
I even told hubby that I wanted about 2 hours undisturbed so I could watch this "good" movie.
Was I disappointed.
I could NOT have been more wrong.
I thought it was going to be scary,
It wasn't.
I thought it was going to have unpredictable plot twists and turns.
It didn't.
I thought it was going to have strong, determined characters.
All they did was whine and act stupid.
I thought there would be a horror element.
There was none.
The director??
All I could think of was M. Night Shamalan.
(That kind of let-down and disappointment.)
And for God's sake.......1200 acres and a HUGE mansion for @$212,000?
I would buy that if the devil himself was living in the basement apartment.
This movie was a complete and total bust. I know this review is not saying anything new but I had to speak up and say my part.
Even on TV...it SUCKS>
The Help (2011)
Remember Julie & Julia?
This movie reminded me very much of "Julie & Julia" which I found smart and charming.....a movie about a young woman writing a book.
I went in a bit skeptical. I knew it would be a chick-flick and I was prepared for sappy sentimentalism. But I was very pleasantly surprised.
The story rung true and honest. It was a strong, character driven story which is rare in this day and age of CGI and big orange explosions. It was poignant and charming, gritty and funny.
I grew up in a beach community in southern California and while I was aware of the civil rights struggle I really had no direct contact with it.
Hubby grew up in an affluent neighborhood Memphis in the 60's and even he said this was the way it was in his house.
This movie will be a classic.
Apollo 18 (2011)
What a disappointment
Like another reviewer, hubby and I waited for the release of this movie. We watched the actual moon landing on grainy black and white television. For those of you who were not alive back then and are complaining about the space footage.....that is what it really looked like. (Ask any baby boomer). We were ready to be creeped out by the possibility that something sinister happened in that dark foreign environment. It HAD to be scary, for Pete's sake....no one had ever been there before and no one knew what was really up there.
We expected to drive home with earnest discussions about "Could that have really happened?"
This movie did NOT deliver. It did NOT live up to its potential. It did not have the intensity of "Alien". It did not have the edgey creativity of the first shaky-cam found footage flick, Blair Witch. It was NOT at all scary.
It was NOT thought provoking.
It was long and boring. And very forgettable.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010)
I was underwhelmed. by this mess of a movie.
This movie was a great disappointment. I went to see it with friends for a quiet, cool afternoon in a dark air conditioned movie theater.
I thought Nicholas Cage was talented, benign and not full of himself like a lot of other high profile actors. I did not have terribly high expectations. I just wanted to be entertained.
What a MESS. The movie was nothing but nonstop, over the top, scene after scene of CGI, ridiculous car chases and big orange explosions.
They were just doing the big bucks F/X because they could and I guess they looked cool. The weak story line was convoluted and required a five minute prologue to understand, the plot was nonexistent.
The Fantasia connection just didn't click for me. It tried to be cute. It was not even mildly amusing.
And the GilbertGodfrey delivery of the reluctant apprentice guy was just getting downright annoying.
It was one of the few movies that I would have walked out on if I hadn't gone with other people. I was that bored.
This was one of those movies where all the best scenes are in the trailers.
Suspension of disbelief? It ain't gonna happen.
Don't waste your money. rent it for a buck when it comes to RedBox in 6 weeks. It's going to fall off the radar screen very quickly.
Despicable Me (2010)
Charming and sweet
This was a lovely movie because it did not attempt to blur the line between adult humor and entertaining the kids. It was sweet and heartwarming and keep in mind, this is coming from a grumpy 60 year old who cannot stand to be around little children. I went because I thought the title was clever and catchy and I enjoy the 3D. It was so refreshing to not have to sit through potty humor, fart jokes (there was only one) and double entendres that everyone hopes will sail over the kiddies' heads. It was funny, sweet and thoroughly enjoyable without being sappy or overly sentimental. Not great but definitely a lovely, lighthearted movie meant for the kids.
How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Trite Lukewarm Pablum Wrapped up in a Spectacular Package.
I just came from this movie and I must say, my eyes are glazed over and I am working on a migraine. I thought I was going to die of boredom.
I simply cannot jump on the bandwagon here.
It is the worst, trite, lukewarm, spoonfed Pablum I have EVER experienced.
The standard messages: Follow your heart. Do what you know is right. Don't cave in to peer pressure. Your parents don't always know best. You'll be the hero, save the village and get the pretty girl to like you.
I suppose if you are somewhere between 8 and 11 years old and still think dragons are cool, you might just get into this movie. If you are a slightly cynical adult are forced to go as I was, take some aspirin and just be glad you got to spend two hours in a nice, cool-air conditioned theater.
The rest is just not that great. It's ALL Hype, marketing and toy tie-ins. Think "Up" "Ratatouille", and the endless list of others.
Mongolian Death Worm (2010)
They just keep getting worse and worse.....
Once again, a Made For SciFi (sorrt SyFy??) came up with a ridiculous premise and CGI that totally sucked (literally as well as figuratively).
Hasn't ANYONE out there seen the SpongeBob episode with the Alaskan Bull Worm?? Hasn't anyone out there seen "Tremors"? And Victoria Pratt....what WERE you thinking? You went from kick-ass Cyane in Xena:Warrior Princess to this dreck? I guess a paycheck is a paycheck but c'mon, we all KNOW you can do a lot better. Couldn't you get a guest shot on Burn Notice? Bad acting. bad dialogue, bad CGI, a ridiculous premise, bad continuity (did anyone happen to notice that the guy went from having an semi-automatic pistol in one scene, a revolver in the next and then back to the semi-automatic?). And when they were hiding from the "highway robbers and thugs" they pulled 2 feet off the road AND THEN BUILT A CAMPFIRE????? This movie was a train wreck. Which is why I watched it all the way through.
Mega Piranha (2010)
How bad can it possibly get??
This is yet another Made-for-TV SciFi "Originals" (and I use the term very loosely) because there is nothing original about it. SciFi just keeps cranking them out.
It looks like a very bad episode of CSI Miami on steroids.
The subtitles, jump cuts, whooshes, fades and shaky-cam shots go on and on endlessly through out the entire movie. It makes you want to scream and put hot pokers in your eyes. I watched it twice and it doesn't get any better, even at 0ne o'clock in the morning.
As usual, the CGI sucked but it sucked beyond belief. Bad helicopters and giant mutant piranha fish flying out of the water and impaling themselves on power line towers and radio antennae atop of buildings...What was up with that???? And the "expert" microbiologist and his geeky assistants wearing Banana Republic fishing vests instead of lab coats was totally laughable.
Don't bother with the Beer Goggles. They won't help. This movie is just plain AWFUL. Hate to come up with a cliché but I was rooting for the fish.