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Candy Cane Lane (2023)
Scroll on by - waste of time
Eddie Murphy wanted to make a film that would be a timeless classic which he felt that family's would watch every Christmas. Well, he did that with Beverly Hills Cop. Not this horrid waste of time.
Lots of racist jokes. ..... In a Christmas movie
Some Religious insults to both Christians and Jews.
Yep - I'm not kidding. And not off-the-cuff references, but actual flat out ridicule. How does a Christmas movie make fun of Jesus??
Two stars because I liked the idea, but then after 5 minutes it tanked.... Fast. Otherwise I would have gone with one star.
My advice is pretty straight forward - Avoid this crap.
A Haunted House 2 (2014)
Calling this Awful is a disservice to the word Awful
Calling this Awful is a disservice to the word Awful
Horrible very bad cussing and talk of Fingering.in the first 20 seconds. First F Bomb waits until 2:26. Then 3 of them min the first 4 minutes. - I cant believe they waited that long. And then it went downhill.. Lots of Black stereotype - loud talk, vulgarities, afraid of ghosts... etc. Although supposed to be a parody it actually perpetuates all of these stereotypes. This movie should be banned for racism.
Child cussing at 4:20.
Talk about interracial sex as "pissing off your forefathers."
The the Mexican shows up and makes a bunch of Latino stereotype jokes. By minute 9:00.
I will stop here. You get the idea.
Watch the Original.
Let There Be Light (2017)
Likeable, Easy going, Decent
This was better than expected. Started out fairly predictable but took some turns. Got to hear Dionne Warwick sing! Paster Vinny is a nice twist. Watch the filming and directing. Fairly well done.
Some sappy parts and a lot of predictable parts. But this is a nice and easy to watch movie.
Al of people trashing it in the reviews. Why did you watch it? I think some just want to trash a Christian movie. Which is curious since that is what movie is about.
In some cases you can tell it is low budget. All crowds have about 30 people. But that's not the message. You do have to endure a Sean Hannity section. He's not a good actor,
For Parents: some smoking, alot of drinking alcohol. Some implied drug use.
A Man Called Otto (2022)
Tired of Hollywood lectures
I watch this truly hoping to be entertained. After 30 minutes, I actually backed up to see what I was missing. It was kind of boring, but full of messaging of how horrible I am, because I'm not trans, I'm not a minority, I'm not gay, not liberal, not under 40. Apparently I am just like Otto. But I don't think so. I enjoy my neighborhood.
There was some hope for this, but Hollywood trashed me.
Also, there are many reviews comparing it to the original. Shouldn't a movie stand on its own?
Some good wardrobe and makeup. And some CGI was ok. Just not enough to save the boring and predictable dialogue.
Body at Brighton Rock (2019)
Yawn Fest
For a thriller - it was not. It took 20 minutes to even get to the start of the actual movie. The rest 20 minutes is fairly a waste of time. Just fast forward to 20 minute mark.
It was otherwise boring. Predictable. Poorly edited. Low budget. I like low budget thrillers and this was a low budget nap.
There are numerous errors. What would you switch back packs with another hiker? You want your stuff. Why so nervous looking into an injured persons tent? They will have food and water and supplies.
Why do you have cell service in the middle of nowhere? I want to know your carrier please.
Some decent acting here an there.
Extraterrestrial (2014)
Pleasantly Surprised it Was enjoyable
I thought perhaps this was another teen Sci-Fi with lots of needless sex and teens in tight clothing. Actually it is well written. It keeps you engaged. Filming and Direction is good as well as the acting.
You will need to enjoy Sci-Fi to want to watch the whole thing, but I encourage you to give it a chance.
You do see some aliens, but they are glimpses and shadows. Kind of like what was done in SIgns. Also a bit of War of the Worlds.
I also think they did a good job showing the relationships of the characters. You actually care about these people.
For Parents: There is Smoking, drinking, Drug Use and Abuse. Swearing, gory & bloody scenes, suicide.
Nope (2022)
Slow and Boring describes it
I really wanted this to be a good movie. I was exited for a new Sci-Fi/Horror movie. Having it focus on a ethic group that is not represented enough in Sci-Fi was going to be a plus. I was ready for a good evening.
And then I watched it. Slow and Boring. Taking way too long to get to anything interesting. I do understand the need to develop characters, but wow - way too long. The first 20 minutes seems disjointed. They introduce characters without explaining why I need to know them.
The pace was laborious. After 40 minutes I just wanted it to be over.
Sorry for this cast. I think they are talented. But this movie does them a disservice.
Looking Glass (2018)
The rent was due?
I hoped to watch a thriller, and a mystery. What I got was crap.
This snooze-fest moves tat the speed of a sleepy turtle. Massively dark - I mean dimly lit. Can't see a lot of the screen for most of the movie.
Dialog is also sleepy. Just wandering around with no point.
Local cop kills a preying mantis with a Bible. No need for that. Just crappy writer shock value.
I never liked Cage, so for me that was in line with most of his other mediocre work. I expected more from Robin Tunney. She is talented, but must have had some contractual obligation to make this heap of poo.
I recommend a pass.
I Think We're Alone Now (2018)
Surprisingly Likeable and Realistic
I am not a Peter Dinklage fan. I typically find him annoying and a pretty bad actor. But here he does a decent job. It is not a character that had to be a Dwarf, so the story does not cneter around that. In fact barely mentions it.
Elle fanning does a decent job as an annoying 20 something girl.
No zombies. No monsters. Just two people who have to figure out how to get along when they com from very different backgrounds and stages in life. And figure out - what do we do now?
Well-written and directed. Realistic settings. Well-filmed. Not an uplifting motivational move. It's not a hallmark Original. But it doesn't make it that people evil or angry.
I recommend it.
Gutsy (2022)
Drivel -
Not a documentary. I tried - I really tried. But unwatchable. Full of 1/2 facts and some made up stuff. I liked Jane Goodall so I gave it 2 stars vs 1. Otherwise - drivel.
Released right before an election. Not an accident. This is a 90 minute democratic party commercial.
Hillary is so pandering. Fake smile throughout. Chelsea is actually better as an actor. This is not a documentary - this is acting.
It dances around and just gives glimpses of each story. Never really tells the story. And it is only one sided. Each woman has a tale of woe. This fails to mention that most of the woman shown were born into money or had a hand up - by a man. This is just male bashing fiction. There are many good stories of people who actually did work their own way to the top. But don't look here.
If you have leaves to rake - do that.
They/Them (2022)
Just Terrible
I didn't give it 1 star because I liked the scenery. Terrible story idea, terrible writing. Pretty bad acting. The script was full of forced dialog. It just does not flow and at times I was lost. Lots of flipping between different stories.
Don't waste your time.
The Great (2020)
14 year Old humor
Not historically correct, Not well acted, Not well written. Not - anything. Not funny. If you are a 14 year old - watch it - you will get lots of fart jokes and other sniggers. F-Bombs in every sentence. All you over 14 - Dont watch this to gain any knowledge. Dont watch this to be entertained. Dont watch this. Apparently everyone in RUSSIA has an English accent.
Watch wheel of fortune or something.
Lady Lawman (2021)
Turned off after 15 minutes
I gave it a try. But there were tracks from a tractor in the background in the first 5 minutes. The old drunk guy had a fresh white t-shirt, no dirt. Pistols have no recoil and unlimited ammo. The acting was really just awful. A high school class could have done better. Maybe it got better but I could not stand it. Turned off after 15 minutes.
The Real O'Neals (2016)
Really Bad
This show is really bad. It tries to be funny. Tries very hard. Uses lots of cliche jokes. Jokes I told when I was in 5th grade. Poop jokes, body part jokes, gay jokes. Did a 12 year old write this?
Just keep on scrolling. Go to the Goldbergs or the Middle for funny family sitcoms. Not here.
Fantasy Island (2020)
A Hot mess
Starts out slow - gets better - then worse - then at 84 minute mark it tanks. Its like the writers got tired and gave a high school class a chance to finish a movie.
Ashburn Waters (2019)
Don't Waste your time
I like an Australian Film, and an Indie. So this was going to be good for me. Also I like pop corn horror flicks. But this one is pretty bad. Bad story and dialog. A bunch of teen actors and a few adults. Probably cost $1000 to make. The movie just gets worse and worse. A cheap nude girl scene to check that box. Then it just ends. I think they ran out of money or the park they used to film it in had to open to the public.
Family Friendly? Nude Woman (topless), smoking, drinking, some slasher style killing, bad language.
The Farmer and the Belle: Saving Santaland (2020)
Prepare to Groan
Predictable and not so entertaining. Some really bad acting here. The song "pen pals forever" should never be sung again - forever. And then some bad directing and bad filmography top it off.
If you have anything else to do - anything - do that.
The Voices (2020)
Starts Good and then...
Nice buildup and introduction of characters. good directing. Interesting story - for 45 minutes. Then it drops off into cliché Hollywood horror/suspense. Why do the do that. Watch the first half and if your enjoying it, go forth. But you will miss nothing if you bail out after 45 minutes. By the way, bad acting.
Family Friendly? Bad Language, sexual references, drinking. A nude woman has an image of an unborn child in her groin. It pretty graphic.
Miranda (2009)
Hilarious, Funny, Fun, Addictive
Miranda is very British. Be ready for some bawdy humor. But it is well written and fun. Miranda is a very large woman, tall and big. But that's the joke. She is not at ease with her size, but she knows that is what she will be and others have to accept her. Imagine a large Lucille Ball. Enjoy
Family Friendly?
Some street language, but rare.
Fat Jokes
Single woman who cant get a man jokes
Female Body Part Jokes
Some light smoking and drinking
Elizabeth Is Missing (2019)
Superbly done - Dram and mystery
This tackles the search for a missing woman coupled with a woman and her family dealing with the effects of dementia and aging. There are blurred lines between reality and imagination, aging dementia and a wise old woman who knows better than her children. She is of an age where her gut feel means a lot. Also tackles the issues of a new Britain and the Old World vintage UK. When a Dr asks where she lives, she tells him "Great Britain, but we are not that great anymore."
Her ability to trust her feelings and intuition are explored.
Flash backs to key moments help her piece together the story of her missing friend.
Overall a great film. Since it is just 90 minutes, it keeps moving. Enjoyable.
Family Friendly?
Some smoking and drinking, but in the background just to make the lives of the characters real.
Some minor foul language.
No Sex or nudity
A Mother's Suspicion (2016)
Not Perfect, but ok for a TV Movie
This is not terrible. There re better movies, but it is a story of a girl with issues and a bratty boy that fills a void in her life. Also the struggle of the mom. Many reviews have trashed this movie. But over all it was not bad. It is a made for TV movie and is not supposed to be a block-buster.
It was adequately written, directed and acted. I actually knw of a situation that is very similar to this. So it is not far fetched.
For a movie to watch at home for free, its worth the time.
Family Friendly?
Teen Suicide, teen psychological issues and depression.
Very little mention of illegal drugs or alcohol. Very little smoking.
No bad language
Two unmarried persons having a conversation in bed, so there is inference of sexual behavior, but it is not shown. These two are engaged.
The Tooth Fairy (2006)
Not bad, but wanders a bit
For a low-budget film it is not terrible. Starts out pretty good actually. I think if they had more budget this could have been a decent horror movie. Special effects are at the College Level. Good directing and camera work. Actually some good acting. It just needed to be pieced together better.
Worth the watch. Just keep your expectations low.
Family Friendly?... Some jump scenes. Lots of blood and violent killings. Some swearing but not lots. Some sexual references (two people lying in bed talking with the assumption they have just had sex.. Ghosts
Relic (2020)
Good Movie - A Unique Twist
Lots of reviews describe it a a slow burn and then they are angry about it.
Isn't that the point of a good horror movie. It should slowly draw you in. I think this does a good job of getting you introduced to the characters and then presenting - slowly - the conflicts and they oddities of the house.
It is very real in the way the two girls are handling the elder care situation of their aging mother and what todo with this old house. And then things start to really unravel. I thought it was believable. If you are looking for chainsaws and blood splatter, this is not it. It you looking to get lost in a very realistic creepy story, here ya go!
Family Friendly?...
Some swearing
Some smoking
Tough situation for children or anyone if they are upset by elderly people involved with violence and dementia
Alone (2020)
A tense and engrossing thriller
Before watching this movie ensure you have gone to the bathroom, have a full drink and popcorn, all phones off. Every scene is important and there are no lulls in the action. It is an edge of your seat thriller. Some parts are tough since there is a kidnapping. Great acting and well directed.
Well rounded between her being followed, pursued, captured, escape and chase. (This is not a spoiler since all of this in the trailer.) A good pace throughout the movie. Very realistic and believable. You can feel her misery. Great acting.
Family Friendly?
Lots of Swearing F-Bombs and some others.
Tough scenes for young woman since this is a kidnapping and the kidnapper definitely has plans.
Some smoking
No nudity or sex
The Lost Vlog of Ruby Real (2020)
Nicely done, short, Indie
This is a short low-budget film. But they do a nice job of building suspense . Limited to no special effects, but they don't really even use them. So at lest there are not some lame Special Effects. It is a V-Log, kind of like Blair Witch. But it seems like it is what would have been filmed by a group of college kids tryin to make a V-Log. So it seems pretty authentic.
The ending kind of left me hanging. But perhaps that was the point.
Family Friendly?
Lots of cussing - Lots of F-Bombs
Some other swearing
Some sexual references but no nudity or even partial nudity