Reviews

Argentinian film that comes off as a bad parody of some sold school noir. Ojos Que No Ven, is as a film an utter failure, with characters as flawed as a Chinese hot Luois Vutton bag purchased in the village. The funniest part of it is the detective who totally rips Columbo off and goes for his smoke in my eyes grin, chain smokes and pretends he is a badass while slowly solving a generic crime that involves all the usual suspects, to that add terrible acting, and you get something really, really, really unoriginal. This should be avoided and never mistaken with the Peruvian film firected by the always reliable Francisco Lombardi, whos Ojos QUe No Ven is not only more intelligent but real.

I saw this movie last night, and I don't know who over 14 years old is a fan of Aston Kutcher but this guy is one of the worst actors out there, I mean he is good enough for sitcom work, but sustaining a film that takes itself as seriously and unintendedly hilariously as The Butterfly Effect; negative kudos for whoever did the casting, unless that is, Kutcher produced the film as his own vehicle to serious acting, but not all is to blame the guy, the plot itself is ludicrous and the shifting realities go way extreme to the other extreme, this probably would have worked better as a parody of some Night Shyamalan film, but I guess those that worked at it are not clever enough for that. The film is entertaining enough, it never bores you to death, or pummels you with preachiness, but do not come to it expecting The Sixth Sense, like some blind critic once said.

Leading a rather unremarkable life, rarely provides a compelling enough reason for a biopic starring an academy award winning actress, but i guess anything gets greenlighted these days. So American poet Sylvia Plath had mental problems and her insecurities pushed her to suicide on more than one occasion, talented she was, extremely jealous and prone to sudden bouts of insecurity and ridicule she was too, all this according to some producers was enough to make a film about. As a movie, Sylvia is quite dull, but I guess when you base it in someone as boring as the poet, what more can you expect? Whoever the guy is who plays Sylvia's husband does a nice job at it, I saw the dude in The Mother, and the lad is talented alright. My question is, why was Sylvia Plath worth making a movie? She was boring and did not have a great personalities, her flaws were common human weaknesses.

I loved Buffalo '66, not only because it was hilarious in its own misery, but because I grew fond of Vincent Gallo's character, points must also be added to Christina Ricci, Ben Gazzara and Anjelica Huston, who helped elevate the movie quiet nicely. Too bad I can't say the same about The Brown Bunny, a flick that is as much fun as watching dry paint just BE. Gallo looks miserable as a bike racer driving cross country to California, in his way, he meets ugly girls, briefly hooks up with them, then he cries, then drives and cries and drives some more and when he makes it home, gets some head from Chloe Sevigny, alright I saw this at the theater and I could swear that when the infamous oral scene was played I heard some zippers, well get unzipped and that was disturbing, one really has to watch the whole movie to understand what it is about and where the character comes from, the thing is there is no pay off in The Brown Bunny.

La Cienaga is one of those movies that you watch and then you rub your eyes either to wake up or to come to your senses. The beginning was nice as it shows two families sunbathing by a nasty stagnant pool, then a drunken lady falls and cuts her chest, no one really cares and then her children help her, I thought this beginning was quite surreal so I proceeded to adjust myself in my leather seat, then it all went wrong, the movie gets flat, the plot goes nowhere, and the unhappy characters mainly fly aimlessly in their misery, there is the drunken mother, the useless husbands, the one eye kid, the other children who enjoy shooting animals and two brothers that have the hots for each other. Visually this movie succeeds and in a way I'd venture to say that maybe the so-called 'indians' of Argentina live like this among alcoholic drinks and trips to Bolivia to shop for school supplies, but at the end of the film I just thought, what do I care? I just wasted 100 minutes watching this.

This movie was unbelievably lame. The script was terrible, the direction was just OK and the astonishing turn up of several great actors was nothing but an embarrassment. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Brit Alan Cummings joined forces to make this movie, and let me tell you their collaborative efforts do not payoff at all. First of all, the script was weak, from what I could gather these people were trying to go for a semi-dogma approach but fail miserably, the movie is not realistic, is embarrassing and the worst part is that, I am not sure if Alan Cummings is gay, but he can't play a straight man for all the money in the world. His marriage with Jennifer Jason Leigh was so phony, you could tell in the kissing scenes (between him and all the other girls in the cast) with girls that he was not all that comfortable, and when he was it was on a -girlfriend term, his gay mannerism is so eloquent that is hard to ignore the fact that his character is supposed to be a sorta womanizer or at least a man who is in constant relationshops. The worst part of the movie comes when they all drop acid, everyone starts acting retarded, and man you'll wanna laugh but not for the right reasons. This movie sucked.

First of all I used to be a big Metallica fan, that is until they started making really, I mean REALLY bad music. This film follows Metallica through a period in time when they had already became what they used to be against, I mean making crappy music and all, and fighting all their inner demons, entities which I must add provided fuel to most of the great music that put them on the map early on their career. The deal is this, bassist Jason Newsted notices that Metallica is day by day closer getting to a bad imitation of Spinal Tap so he bails, after all why would he stay in a band he does not like, and even worse a band where restrains are placed all around. Anyway, he bails, singer James Hetfield says he is now after a zillion years of drinking suddenly become an alcoholic goes to rehab and Metallica is on the brink of a break up, I mean why not after all they had put out a couple of godawful albums (Load and the smartly titled ReLoad), so the only option they see is to hire a guy and pay him a buckload of money so that he can make them feel special and take a look at what they are really worth. The documentary is good, throughout the film we see how these guys are filthy rich, and well guitar player Hammett is sort of the puppet of the band having no say whatsoever in the band and also sporting some really crappy hairplugs. The two leaders Hetfield and Ulrich just get on each other's nerves and at some point during the film you are even praying for them to just come to blows and end it all, unfortunately Metallica succeeds, and they make that crapperpiece that is now calles St Anger, during the making of this album we hear them arguing about lyrics, and Hetfield, says :"some kind of monster, that monster lives yyeeeeeaaahh""" the other members are just in awe at how incredibly brilliant and prolific this guy is, I mean i just wanted to laugh out loud, let's just say that Bob Dylan this guy is not, but the theater was so full of Metallica fans I was a bit afraid one might beat me up. In the end, metallica makes an album that gets trashed by the critics, hired Rob Trujillo to fill the bassist slot, and well, I guess the fans are to thank their idols because once again this once mighty band has managed to fool the world, I guess it is all a matter of taste, all I gotta say is that if you look at these guys objectively you will see a lot more than you expected in this film, the movie is good, but Metallica is just an average band.

I know most people who rented this flick, did so because they are into Adrien Brody, now let me first say that I found The Pianist to be a compelling film,however I have not seen this guy act well, since or before the above mentioned movie. This flick portrays a sad dork from suburbia who lives in a dysfunctional family and whose sole friend is a punk rocker chick and a wooden dummy he is a attached to; the premise of the flick is not that bad, provided there is a good looking girl who becomes his love interest, after all many good movies are based on this same premise, however this movie is really sucky, I mean the action jumps from place to place making not sense whatsoever and the acting of Mr. Brody pretty much just ruins the whole thing, of course he is not alone in the disaster, Ms. Jovovich's character is so idiotic and cliché it makes all the punk rockers from the 90's sound like Plato. I had not much of an expectation about this film, and after seeing it, I just felt like I had wasted a couple of hours, I do not know what happened to the scrawny long-nosed fella who acted in The Pianist, but he sure is not in this one, one can also checked him out in The Village, Shyamalan's last fiasco, a film in which not only the plot sucks, but Mr. Brody manages to make his retarded character idiotic beyond belief, I mean you gotta see it to believe it, his acting is so lame. Avoid this at all costs.

I put on this movie last night, just 'cause there was nothing else to do, and sometimes Long Island really sucks ass. It was pretty entertaining for like 20 minutes, and the girl who plays psycho bitch who is chunky as hell started acting like any other stupid evil character in every American movie of the last 50 years. The last 20 minutes of the movie are just ridiculous, way too formulaic, and so average I fell asleep, and woke during the credits. Avoid this crap, unless you are a fratboy.

How movies like this one get made and even are successful at the box office is way beyond any human's understanding. The only thing I can think about is that we are all a bunch of morons to laugh at this s***. The acting is terrible, the plot is super flimsy, and worse of all the jokes pass right through you since one is hard pressed to understand what the point of the moronic joke is. Don't rent this rubbish, don't waste your money, go check something better like...O'reilly factor or other crap like that. Avoid this at all costs.

I don't know why people bitch so much about this film. Even though I didn't find it scary (nothing after The Others is anyway), I thought it was great entertaining. Sure the movie is full of plot holes, sometimes the acting is pedestrian, and the special effects can be laughable, but I don't think the makers set out to make something as scary as The Shining. This is supossed to be funny people, after all Snoop Dogg is there. Check it out lightly

one of the worst movies ever. Pesci, who is usually good, reminds us that he is nobody without DeNIro and Scorcese. Avoid this at all costs, the plot the acting and the dialogue is beyond pathetic. Nothing good, it is not funny, if anything it will upset your stromach.

Ciudad de M succeeds in many levels, especially the script which starts clumsily but then takes us through a dark trip with the forgotten youth of Lima. The main problem of the movie is its casting which would have been much better had the director chosen someone less white and more peruvian to play the part of M. Magill is a good actor, however he does not fit the image of a low class bum in a city like Lima. The plot is straightforward, and the dialogue (though full of cuss words) brought me back to the Lima of the 90's. I liked the cinematography and the fact that the only tried to show the ugly side of a metropolis like Lima. Definitely worth the wait and the time

This movie is well-written but poorly directed and acted. Keri Russell will never win an oscar that is for sure, and the same goes for the leading man, who looks like a talentless Jason Schwarmann. The grandpa in the movie is a good character but the direction is so lucklaster I wished crap like this was not made.

This movie is quite good. The battle scenes are great, and the acting is appropriate. The only problem is that history wise this flick is as acurate as the shot of a blind man. In the movie though there are only two types of english men. One they are evil bastards with thirst for conquest or they are implicitly gay, like the prince who is obviously in favor of good looking men. Nevertheless, this movie was not bad, and very entertaining.

I have seen this movie twice; once in Peru, and the second time in Miami last june. This is an excellent film that has recently been released in major cities like Los Angeles and Chicago. This movie tells the story of Captain Pantoja a very correct and loyal member of the Peruvian army. He is sent to Iquitos, where he is assigned a secret mission; to take care of all the horny servicemen by creating a service of prostitution that will put a stop to all the undesired pregnancies that seem to plague the region. The cast is excellent, and the acting of Salvador Del Solar and the rest of the cast is nothing less of sincere and outstanding. The eroticism may not go well with American critics, but fans of foreign cinema will love this flick. Francisco Lombardi is by far one of the best Latin American directors, sadly Americans seem to care very little for movies that won't appeal to the masses.

I was expecting better things of this movie. The plot is great, and certainly the script was lacking nothing. What I didn't like was seeing the microphone hanging over the actor's heads repeatedly. This takes so much of the realism the film tries to convey away. Also, I don't know if anyone likes William Petersen, but as far as I am concerned, his acting in this film is quite poor. The film delivers, if you are concerned about the cinematography and the photography, otherwise check something else.

I happened to catch this movie last night on tv. Nevertheless, it was sunday and I live in a town where tumbleweeds are more lively than the actual citizens. Anyway, this movie was pure unadultered crap. The direction was crap, some decent acting, and the sets looked like those of a shitty american soap opera. This movie was a joke, if I kept on watching it was because my only other option was some Martha Stewart show, and i Can't put up with that since my liver is about to give up on me. Well, skip this at all costs, it is not worth a penny.

This a small peruvian film and one can see that just by checking out the locations. However it works perfect, as it reflects the experiences of a low class family who have the ambition of appearing in a tv show as the family of the week. The acting is adequate and even though many of the jokes might only be enjoyed by peruvians, it still beats any stupid Adam Sandler movie.