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Reviews
Blonde (2022)
Who green-lit this mess?
Wow. This may be the worst "film" I've ever seen. It's just one note all the way through, nothing particularly interesting happens. Yes there are sexual assault scenes, but what got to me more is the several very strange abortion scenes. This movie feels like a three hour long pro-life advertisement.
Ana de armas looks like a convincing Marilyn and for the most part does her voice well, with her Cuban accent slipping through only a few times. Ultimately this movie seems like it was just an excuse to have her run around naked a lot.
This film should never have been made it's just a mess from start to finish. I will never get those three hours of my life back.
Cooking with Paris (2021)
Stop trying to make "sliving happen"
It's not going to happen. I thought after Paris's whole documentary about how she was so misunderstood that she wouldn't be playing into her dumb blonde trope, yet here we are. She is still doing the baby voice and trying to be super cutesy but at 40 it's just awkward and cringey. I commend her guests for trying to be as entertaining and normal as possible in this extremely forced scenario. I would recommend this show as background noise for when you don't want to feel alone but that's about it.
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Land. The. Plane. Literally and figuratively.
This movie is about thirty minutes too long. It gets to the point where you are just like, hurry up and end already. You definitely have to suspend a lot of disbelief with this one (vampires aside) but overall it's definitely action packed entertainment.