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Reviews
Carnivore (2000)
Is it really THAT bad?
It's very cheesy and very dumb for sure, with a couple of takes to the camera, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. There's some creative gore and nice nudity that didn't just amount to a stabbing and a flash. You've got total dismemberment and skin pulling off the face leaving the skeleton and along with nudity some rubbing and sucking. That's not standard horror fair.
I found Carnivore to be a time capsule to the end of the 80's and above my expectations. This is a bottom of the barrel indie flix, but they put together a monster suit that's not just store bought, designed a lab and built a haunted house from scratch. This is some inventive indie film making.
I'd ultimately rank this a step below mediocre, it's much more entertaining then a lot of other garbage out there like Hobgoblins or anything by the Polonia Brothers. If you give this flix a score of 1 I don't think you were being very realistic with your expectations. All it really needs is a few more kills to make it really decent.
Rejected (2000)
Wait, what just happened?
A short animated film which is difficult to put into words. Well, no it isn't. It's quite simple really: "FUNNY AS HELL!"
A masterful work which spoofs the animation industry and the commercial industry with such bizarre class, it's truly an amazing work. The short captures a perfect balance by going completely over the top.
The short was to be featured on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim (ads were even shown up to a week before it's air date), but the short lived up to it's title by being pulled at the last moment because of the words "Sweet Jesus," but rumored to be just an excuse since the heads just didn't get it.
Hopefully this comment will quickly become outdated with the airing of 'Rejected.' Buy the DVD(s), and prove a lot of network heads wrong.
Häxan (1922)
Surprising Yet Disappointing
Review of the reissue with William S. Burroughs' narration.
Although this film uses powerful imagery, advanced camera and special effects, it's far to sarcastic for the audience's good. The film at first points out the rather flawed beliefs of early science, but then goes on to portray witch hunts in a rather sarcastic manner, which tells the audience in a dry tone all the "good" the clergy's doing. I sat through, knowing at least the narrator (Burroughs) can't believe this to be true in real life, at was satisfied at the end with conclusions on how so many were falsely accused of witchcraft. Although today, any one who's going to pick up this film will already know enough not to fall into the trap of cheering on the Catholic church of the witch hunts, when it was first released it wasn't uncommon for audience members to walk in and out of theaters and would entirely miss the whole point of the movie. I doubt the public was that ignorant to fall head first, or would easily become bored enough to walk out of such a daring film, but anyone who should have see in for the truth would have been miles away from the film to begin with. It was either preaching to the already converted, or fell upon the death ears of those who wanted a satanic peep show. And although it's findings may have been on the top of it's game at the time, such research has crossed mountains since.
It's a film which will fall flat with it's presentation as a documentary, any documentary which was 80 years old would, but will dwell on your mind as it takes such a risky exploration into the occult. As a milestone in history of film it will not disappoint, but as an exploration into witchcraft and the occult it only scratches the surfaces.
Sealab 2021 (2000)
Where in the hell did this show come from?
Maybe the greatest show on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, or at any time/channel for that matter. So people have described this as "stupid funny," but the thing is, it's not like that at all.
This show has very dark humor. Fellow crew members show rather anti-Star Trek bonds and hate the rest of the crew and hold their own needs well above everyone else's. The comedy in each and every episode is not based on poop or fart jokes, but rather the character's complete lack of concern for other people. This show doesn't fall for the lowest jokes, but is rather creative and very spontaneous.
These guys took Sealab 2020, a wholesome kids show any parent could be proud of, and turned it into a twisted game. This show shows social politics at an extreme, and is able to spit out pop references any Kevin Smith fan would be proud of. Genius.
Gojira tai Hedora (1971)
Hedora's not the only one smoking
I use to think 'Godzilla's Revenge' was the worst of the worst, I've just been proven wrong. This movie is tripped out. There are four or five cartoon animations that do nothing to continue the story. They just sum up what's already happened in the previous encounters, and seem to be drawn School House Rock style. The fight scenes between Godzilla and Hedora are bizarre to say the least. Time goes by where you just see Godzilla and Hedora standing around doing nothing but funky hand movements. This movie drags on and on and on.
But it's interesting because the entire feel of this movie is very different. It's much darker and more sinister. You also see dead bodies lying around. Something not often seen in most other Godzilla movies. Symbolism is tossed around a bit, but it seems as if this director was drunk while doing some of these scenes. Another amazing feature is the typical little kid is really not all that annoying. That's a marvel to behold in and of itself.
So, although this is most likely the worst Godzilla, it's also the most creative. There's not much Godzilla action untill the very end, and features a 007 intro along with many other 60's spoofs. I suggest seeing this movie at least once or twice. You'll be pleasantly surprise and dumb founded.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
The Greatest Film Tribute to the Film Industry Itself...
To simply put it, Kevin Smith put everything he's ever wanted to do into a script and was PAID to do it. It's fantastic, his imagination really runs wild, and you're never left with a moment's piece from all the jokes. If the dialog isn't making you laugh, then something in the background is. You just want to see this movie again and again. Buy all day tickets and live in that room. Every scene that's ever made you want to be in the movie biz because it would be just so damn fun to do is in this movie. It's like stepping into Jay and Silent Bob's world. The turn out of people with cameo's just goes to show how popular Smith is to this industry. Bob and Jay's duel with Mark Hamill is a mixture of Star Wars with 60's Batman and gave me the burning desire to see Sam Raimi's Spider-Man or anything comic related on the planet. His love of these movies and comics just rubs right off on you and you walk out of the flick just wanting to grab your girl/guy/pal and watch 24 hours of View Askew movies with some other classics in-between.
The very intro clued people into just how damn silly this movie will be. If you have any worries, they'll be put to rest within the very first few moments of the film. Jason Mewes never becomes tiring, and Kevin Smith's Silent Bob is one of the most underrated acts. Smith's facial expressions, hand movements and background movement do more than words ever could. Mewes's full personality shines, as we're given the full perspective of Jay's character. Every word he says is well crafted and is given with an Oscar winning performance. Smith light-heartedly makes fun of the film industry, the internet, comics and everything else while still being as sadistic about it as possible.
Some downfalls: 1) If anyone's read the comics, you'll notice that some scenes are taken right out of the books. They're all great ideas, but this is a shame for some because it's like watching something all over again. This is great for those of you haven't read the comic books, but is a drag for others. Unless of course you want nothing better than to see the comics in live action. 2) Casting Will Ferrell (Federal Wildlife Marshall Wilenholly) was a mistake. His style really clashes with Smith's and takes away from the movie. He breaks your concentration, and is the type of stupid silly that people who watch Smith flicks try to stray away from. 3) The parody of other movies reminded me so much of other REALLY bad movies that I found them almost out of taste. Smith pulls them off as best as they can ever been done, and are as funny as hell, but I still get Scary Movie flash backs just thinking about it. 4) Not enough of the oldies were in it. I was hoping for more from Dante and Randle especially. Since they got Smith where he is today, I wanted to see more screen time devoted to them. And I could always do with more Jason Lee.
Those are all just knit-pickings, and I think J&SBSB is Smith's best effort to date. It's fast paced, never leaves you wishing a certain scene was over and done with, and allows you to laugh at the very things you love and walk away reminding you just what great flicks those were too. His direction has really grown, and the camera takes a much more active role in the film. Smith is the biggest movie fan to become director, and has some of the greatest senses of humor a human has to offer our race.