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Reviews
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Transgender Bridge (2015)
Controversial Episode
This is a very well-written and controversial episode. Its focus is on hate crime as it pertains to Transgenders as well as charging juveniles as adults. I'll admit, the episode almost swayed me, made me feel bad for Darius. He's remorseful, sad, and ooh! He's an artist. I'm sorry but no, he committed a hate crime. He targeted Avery, and while pushing him was an "accident", approaching Avery from the get go was his choice; his aggressive, hateful choice. Avery died. That person is no longer in the world, no longer gets to eat, play with friends, live life, etc. His life was taken away by Darius's hateful ways. That whole fully-formed brain theory is bogus. A teenager knows right from wrong. I'm sorry I didn't know you couldn't kill people. Gitouttahere.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
Overrated
I don't understand why Leone's movies have such a strong cult following. Art is entertaining at times but they're mostly empty movies with nothing to say. The reason why torture films like Saw and Hostel work is cause Saw has an intelligent, intricate plot with stakes in the characters' decisions, and Hostel has character development and deeper meaning and message. Leone's movies are just like let's cut people up over and over again. And it's not that I can't handle what he shows, I'm a big horror buff, but his movies are boring, poorly acted, and have nothing going on. Along with Mike Flanagan, Leone is the most overrated in horror filmmaking right now.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day (2023)
Stressful but Eye-Opening
This was a stressful episode to watch, as all the mishaps that happened to Dennis are very real. This movement toward everything being on apps and the cloud and "advanced" technology is scary. It's idiotic, really. It's in no way better than the old way of doing things. People don't seem to understand that while advancements in technology are crucial, there are also some "advancements" that are detrimental. Car connected to the phone? Stupid. Can't pay with cash? Get outta here. While we're at it, there needs to be a stance taken against QR code menus. Give me a paper menu. Just last week I went somewhere where you ordered everything on the phone - no need for a waiter/waitress. It sounds good on paper but you couldn't customize your orders. Also, no server to refill your drinks, get you more napkins, or whatever else you need. Yet we're expected to tip this absentee waiter? No. I say no more. We need to take a stance against this devolution.
How I Met Your Mother: Murtaugh (2009)
Terrible
Let me just say that the Murtaugh storyline was solid. The concept was better than the execution, but still good. The actor from The Wire steals the show, the interaction between him and Barney is hilarious.
My low rating is for the other storyline, the B story of Marshall coaching the team. I thought it would end with them meeting in the middle on their ways of teaching; Marshall was a bit harsh especially for kindergardeners but Lily was way too soft. The way is to teach them how to play and get them to want to win but also to have fun. Nope. It ended with the message that everyone's a winner and life hands you things. Sadly, a lot of those kids will end up either living with their parents til they're 40 or living on the street. Facts.
The Price We Pay (2022)
Entertaining and Underrated
I almost didn't watch this film because I trust the IMDB ratings and typically don't bother with anything below a 5. I'm very glad I ignored the misguided ranking and watched it, mostly cause it starred Stephen Dorff and Hirsch is good, too. I expected really low budget boring, but got slightly higher budget and VERY entertaining. The band of crooks work well together and create tension from the very beginning. Then, if that's not enough, we get a surprise twist and the film takes a turn. Yes, the genre turn is much like From Dusk Til Dawn, but then again that took the idea from Psycho (for all you haters on here who act like cinema experts but haven't seen anything before the '80s). They give us characters to root for and characters to hate, and I like how they turned a character we hate (Hirsch) into a character we root for. How come Barbarian (good flick) is rated high yet this film with a similar style is rated so low? It's because people were told to like Barbarian and have no opinions for themselves. If you like horror, you'll dig this.
Piranha 3DD (2012)
Hilarious Campy Fun for True Horror Fans
I sort of get the low rating 'cause in a way it's sort of silly and ridiculous BUT it's exactly what it says it is; it's a fun, campy horror movie with tons of laughs and blood. I don't understand why all the sheep and lemmings see a movie like this and then are all like 'uhh it's stupid'. No, YOU are stupid for not comprehending that the movie's intention is to be stupid fun. Go watch Wes Anderson's newest lame film or whatever indie film is now cool to talk about at your boring dinner parties. This movie not for you! Stop watching my awesome horror movies and complaining about them. This movie is exactly what it sets out to be, no more no less. You're the same people who gave Anaconda such a low rating yet it is still beloved 25 years later. Go away.
Scream VI (2023)
If you don't like horror, don't watch
So I noticed the rating on the last 2 Screams dropped tremendously after a few months of being in theaters. That's because the people who see it in theaters are true horror fans and all the sheep seeing it when it's streaming aren't horror fans. They're just watching it because it popped up on their Stream feed and they can't make decisions for themselves so just watch what they're told to. Stop watching horror if you don't like horror. Every Scream film should be AT LEAST a 7 but you have all these lames rating 1s because they don't understand it or they're mad that it's glorifying violence. Imbeciles. Stop watching horror and downrating it. Go watch Glee or American Gladiators, this isn't for you.
Telling You (1998)
Rivals Dazed and Clerks
Yes, I said it. This movie rivals those crossroads movies where characters are stuck and not sure what to do or where to go. The various conversations are both interesting and true-to-life. They talk about life, choices, and what could have been. These are things everyone has thought about unless they've had an easy, charmed life. All the bad reviews are due to a bunch of frat boys who have no emotional depth and no patience to watch a movie without tons of explosions. This movie makes you think. Makes you feel. The cast does a great job, too. I honestly think most of the bad reviews are because people wanted to write a "clever" title involving "telling you"; everyone made the same joke, it's pretty pathetic. Anyway, go see this movie if you like crossroads movies that are contemplative and introspective (think Dazed and Confused, Everybody Wants Some).
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
Unimpressed
Another unnecessarily long movie that tries to appear like an epic by being so long. Hollywood, why haven't you realized that a more concise story is better. Anyway, this film is alright, grossly overrated. For an almost 3-hour movie the action is very limited and subpar. There's not much to the story, either. Lupita does a great job, not sure why she didn't get nominated an Oscar over Bassett. Personally I think it's suspect that the Black Panther films are the only superhero films getting major nominations, but we all know why that is. Either way, Bassett's performance was weak, she basically floated through the film on autopilot. The Black Panther films are the weakest of the Marvel world, though I haven't seen the Eternals, heard that was unwatchable.
Oz (1997)
Suspend disbelief
First off, this show is amazing. The drama, suspense, action - it's addictive. The character development and arcs are intense, emotional, well constructed. A definite recommend.
That being said, you have to suspend disbelief. All the reviews saying how this is an accurate portrayal of prison life - it is surely not. The constant hits and stabbings, the corrupt guards. It's not real. Do these things happen? Yes. But they're a rarity, not the norm. Also, prisoners don't have access to weapons like this - no straight razors in the Barbershop, the knives in the kitchen are tethered down. And all the unseen murders? No. Just no. There are cameras nearly everywhere in prison. They would all get caught.
Despite the exaggeration of prison life, it is an intensely addictive show. Oz > Sopranos.
Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)
Save yourself 90 minutes!
If you B-horror films...if you like Christmas Horror films...if you like smart, sharp dialogue...DON'T watch this!
This movie was a huge disappointment. It tried to be a B-horror film but instead of cheesy one-liners that are stupid but fun, it has endless bickering from two unlikable idiots. It also tries to be like A Tarantino or Kevin Smith film but nothing they say is profound or even remotely interesting. They're just yelling at each other.
They try too hard to make the female this tough as nails, foul-mouthed, bad-ass independent woman, but she is anything but. Her performance and dialogue are overdone and do not ring true.
The villain was plain. Nothing cool or unique about him. No charm. The kills are weak.
Not sure how I suffered through this movie. Mostly just cause I go down with the ship, finish it to the end no matter how awful. I'm trying to save anyone reading this from making the same mistake I did. Literally nothing redeeming about this movie.
The Walking Dead: Acheron: Part II (2021)
Maggie is full of it
Way too much Maggie in this one. She's not a lead, sorry to say. And her whole speech about Negan not deciding who lives or dies, she literally did that the previous episode with Gage. They could've easily saved him but she chose to let him die. Inconsistent writing or a hypocritical character, you pick, but it's not good.
Negan is a prick but she's just as bad. More Daryl, please. He's the best character by far. The Reapers are just another group like the group who pretended to be dead, but less creative and interesting. There's only so much you can do with a post-apocalyptic zombie storyline and this show proves it.
Day Shift (2022)
Not bad
Not a bad movie. The two male leads, Foxx and Franco, do a great job. Franco is hilarious and Foxx is smooth, bad-ass, and hilarious. They play off each other well.
The female antagonist is pretty awful. Terrible acting. Pointless random Spanish. I'm sorry but when you use the word pendejo it's just laughable, its like the only insult they know in Spanish. Easily lose credibility.
It's a good sign for a return of vampire films. Thank God they kept the tropes of sunlight being deadly and the need for feeding. Those are the two most essential characteristics of a vampire, you can never neglect them.
Disturbing the Peace (2020)
Not a 10 but gotta offset the haters
This is far from a 10 rating but I feel like I have to do my due diligence to offset the 3.3 rating. Seriously, that's reserved for Syfy channel originals like Sharknado. This movie is decent. Good cast, some action, drama. Not sure what happened where people are giving it a low rating.
Ski Patrol (1990)
The lesser ski movie
If you're looking for a fun ski comedy, go with Ski School. Ski Patrol is the lame red-headed stepbrother of ski comedies. It tries to be funny but it's anything but. Tries way too hard.
Ski School (1991)
An '80s classic in the '90s
This film along with Ski Patrol came out in 1990 but for all accounts, it's an '80s movie. The clothing, the partying, the antics, and themes, all '80s. This is a fun movie, a comedy classic. Ignore the low rating, there's a lot of boring lame people who look at every movie like it's supposed to be Citizen Kane.
Futurama: Lethal Inspection (2010)
Illogical
The reboot to Futurama has been very disappointing so far. This episode was alright but again the jokes are weak and forced. Also, the reveal at the end where Hermes is shown to have had saved a baby Bender is ludicrous and illogical. Robots don't age or develop in maturity. It's even stated in one of the early seasons that Bender was young and born how he is seen in the show. I know it's a comedy but have some consistency.
The Rental (2020)
Terrible
I should've known better than to trust a horror movie on Netflix, but apparently I haven't learned my lesson after watching crap like Choose or Die. The Rental is possibly worse. I like a slow burn but this was just a slow nothing. Not a thriller. It's about four people, only one of which is likable (Alison brie), who go to a cabin. The woke nonsense starts from the beginning. Somehow the owner of the cabin is portrayed as a bad guy even though the super woke woman cheats on her boyfriend with his brother while they're on vacation together. Talk about confused morality. The movie lacked depth, suspense, character development, and literally everything else.
Saving Silverman (2001)
If you don't like this movie
If you don't like this movie, you're not a real person. This movie is nonstop hilarity, from start to finish. I imagine the only people who don't enjoy this are nerds who have no sense of humor and analyze every joke in some scientific way. If you like a laid back, hilarious comedy, you'll love this. If you don't like this then you probably have issues.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Raimi thought he was doing Evil Dead
Raimi couldn't figure out if he was doing an Evil Dead movie or superhero movie. There are multiple tonal shifts, none of which work. The attempt at humor rarely works and is thrown in awkward scenes where humor doesn't belong. The dialogue is atrocious. Did they hire some random copy assistant to write this? I was very disappointed. Some people are convincing themselves this was a good movie because they don't want to admit this is the downslope of the MCU. There is still hope but this movie is not a step in the right direction.
Chappie (2015)
Better than District 9
More entertaining than District 9. Despite what many have said, it's nothing like Short Circuit other than a sentient robot existing. The tone, genre, themes, characters, everything is different. Ignore the simpletons making the comparison to Short Circuit.
District 9 was alright but this has more action and more heart.
Top Gun (1986)
Overrated
Overrated. Outside of the scene-stealing Kilmer as Iceman, this movie is lackluster. It's a romance film with bits of "action" tossed in. The action sequences are dull and uninspired. Who are they fighting anyway?
The fighting seems like training sequences as they usually seem calm and jokey but then it becomes real and you have to wonder where these random jets are coming from. Who is the US at war with? We're supposed to believe countries send random jets to spy or attack us while not in the midst of a war?
The soundtrack is fun but there's better '80s action films out there. Predator and Rambo, please.
Dune (2021)
Overrated trash
People rate this movie high because they think they should like it. If people were true, they'd just come forward admit this film was boring, uninspired, and of course unoriginal. It's a remake! By its very nature, it's not an original idea. People! Stop reading the nerdy critics reviews before seeing a movie and make up your own mind! It's not a good movie.
The Missing (2003)
Underrated
I don't understand how a classic western with a great cast gets a lower rating than a lame remake (aka unoriginal) like Dune gets in the IMDB Top 250. This film has a better plot, more action, and far superior acting. This just proves how so many people are lemmings.
Hawkeye (2021)
Best Marvel series
This is the best of the 4 Marvel series that they've made. Clint Barton is the most likable character and Kate Bishop is a good addition. Loki was boring. Falcon and the Winter Soldier too woke. Wandavision was decent.