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MasterJereel
Reviews
Siu nin Wong Fei Hung chi: Tit ma lau (1993)
Siunin Wong Fei-hungingly Horrible!
Every so often a wonderful foreign film will arise and take the United States by storm, this is great and all - but it opens up the flood gates. Yep, crappy copy-cats, and horrible mice in drag show up. Once such film is "Iron Monkey," which the word 'best' should only be paired with while describing it as the 'best plagerizin' hunk of junk.'
Seriously, folks, don't go see this. If you have any taste, or even love for any kind of art form. This is just a senseless crap festival in your mouth, and everyone's invited. It's horrible. It's some of the worst stuff I've ever seen. Tear-jerkingly terrible.
If you like movies - don't go see this, you'll cry.
The Mad Doctor Hump (1969)
One of the best films of all time.
If you plan on seeing one movie your life time, this would definitely be it. I can't begin to explain how great this film was, from the superb writing to the extraordinary direction. The exciting action sequences will leave you short of breath.
This film moves in like a jack hammer and after its done, you're not the same anymore. You're changed. Forever.
The Mad Doctor Hump humped its way into my heart.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Tim Burton Made Me Vomit
"Planet of the Apes (2001)" has soared its way all the way to the number one movie in the country (USA), which does not surprise me. I don't know why all the movies I happen to despise became huge successful films. Probably because the general person now-a-days is just looking for visuals, special effects, and action sequences.
What happened to plot? I suppose it's dead. If you even remotely liked the original "Planet of the Apes (1968)", then don't see this mockery. It was definitely up there with, "Hannibal" as one of my most hated films.
Even the score of "The Planet of the Apes (2001)" is repetitive, slow, and unoriginal - admittedly similar to the film's plot. The only surprise I found in this movie was Tim Burton's cunning idea of putting a frame of Hitler in the start of the film. The background for the frame or two of Der Fuhrer was some kind of nonsensical sci-fi blur that couldn't even logically happen in a galaxy far, far away let alone our own. However, don't worry Burton even hinted bestiality in this film (Not a surprise, I suspected it). I know that's horrible, but it's worth a good laugh... at how bad this movie was.
Tim Burton: Does this movie even smell of his style? No. This movie doesn't have anything that would make me remotely think Tim Burton directed it. It has none of his early style and ideal that made his earlier work appealing and launched him into the mainstream. If you think you like Tim Burton's work and this movie's got to be good because he directed it, think again. If you liked his earlier work like, "Edward Scissorhands," an excellent film in my mind: Don't go see his remake of Planet of the Apes. It will make you nauseous and annoyed.
This film eliminates most of the great ideas of its original, which inspired so much wonderment, joy, and captivation, i.e. In Burton's version every single human can talk. The ending is all wrong, distorted, and makes literally no sense. All of the appeal of the original is casted away. Even the acting in this remake is quite dull.
I need to warn you again, if you liked the original Planet of the Apes, or Tim Burton's early work, this movie will make you sigh - big time. This movie is even a disgrace to the Sci-Fi genre.
Lola rennt (1998)
Modern German Film At Its Finest
"Lola Rennt," was a very nicely done work of art. The movie is about one day, and what could happen just based on minimal decisions. It's a true original piece of cinema, which is so surprising in the darkest days of the Film Industry (recent-times).
The best thing about this film is without a doubt the marvelous direction by Tom Tykwer. He does things with that camera hardly even thought up before. The entire film really sings to you, the cast is even very decent. Franka Potente does a good job as the film's star, Lola. Another good performance was by Mortiz Bleibreu was her boyfriend who is in trouble with a Mafioso over money. The basic plot is that Lola needs to try to get a whole lot of DeutschMarks in order to save her boyfriend's life, all within a mere amount of time, and it shows all the avenues she could go to get that money. Some deadly, some daring, you get the picture.
My favorite character in this film was definitely the bum that ends up with the money Manni was originally suppose to transport. This movie has heart, action, and even flares of humor.
If you think that because it is a German/Foreign film, you're not going to like it, think again, but don't go for a dubbed copy. Go subtitle, it won't hurt that much.
Go check out this movie, if you get a chance. "Die Tasche!" 8 out of 10.
The Mad Doctor Hump (1969)
One of the best films of all time.
If you plan on seeing one movie your life time, this would definitely be it. I can't begin to explain how great this film was, from the superb writing to the extraordinary direction. The exciting action sequences will leave you short of breath.
This film moves in like a jack hammer and after its done, you're not the same anymore. You're changed. Forever.
The Mad Doctor Hump humped its way into my heart.
Six-String Samurai (1998)
It Has A Style All Of Its Own
"Six-String Samurai" has become a classic favorite of mine, despite the ill-thinkings of others. This film really goes a long way on a barebone budget. You might not favor this film if you're extremely into films that deal primarily with special effects. Special effects do not make a film, and especially not a sci-fi one. You need more and Six-String delivers.
The plot behind the film is about an alternate history of the United States of America. In 1957 the Russians launched first strike, and through a nuclear war, they decimated America and took over, all 'cept for Lost Vegas. Lost Vegas was the last free-state and Elvis was crowned king (Don't worry, if it sounds bad. It isn't, is it funny? Sure. This is a fun film.) The film takes place 40 years after the initial first strike. Russian supplies dwindled into near nothingness, if you want an example, they can't even afford bullets anymore. Elvis had finally kicked the can, and there was a competition for the thrown.
Buddy (Jeffery Falcon) sets out to claim this prize, although he keeps being followed by a lone orphan he'd rather do without, but through time grows on him. Through most of the film Buddy appears somewhat emotionless and dark in nature, i.e. Boba Fett. He would hardly speak, and when he did - it was to the point. Jeffery Faclon does the best acting in this film, and rather nicely I might add.
Buddy is confronted with countless distractions on his way to the competition, some of them include Death, who wants to fill the airwaves with his own brand of darkness (Metal), Bowlers, The Clever Family, and even a sect of people who live underground fearing pollution, titled 'The Windmill People.'
Lance Mungia establishes himself as a fine director through this film (as well as his numerous music videos). If you're a fan of nicely-done action scenes, a decent humorous plot, that low-budget flare, and a very cool soundtrack. I strongly suggest you check this film out, you won't be disappointed. 9 out of 10.