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Silent Night (2023)
This movie is the sincere definition of shxt!
Seriously. It only took the opening scene for me to know this films was rubbish. He has hired fools who can't act and the scene makes no sense at all! This is the real reason why no one is going to the cinema or spending money on movies. They're all shxt!
If you want to watch a good film watch one from the 80s, 90s and a few from the 00s.
I remember when John Woo was a good director. The only reason I can think of for this complete and utter POS of a film is that he must be sick. I wish him a speedy recovery. I didn't waste my precious valuable time watching it for more than 15 minutes.
As for morons who say, "buh you didn't watch the whole film!" I reply , "if there's something wrong & foul smelling with your meal at a restaurant do you have to eat the whole meal and be sick before you can say it was rotten?" Do you let a child finish their times table if they start with 2x2 is 3? 2x3 =4?
This film really is shxt and it's absurd this site does not allow us to rate a film 0/10. Anyone who spent money on it (and I'm glad I didn't) deserve a refund.
Arrival (2016)
Garbage! Hollywood has been invaded by Morons
Looked this movie up after reading that the director of Prisoners (Dennis Villenueve) had won an Oscar for this. Did not pay to watch it because I do not trust movies these days and boy was I glad I didn't. After 13 minutes and 58 seconds I switched it off because;
The writers of this movie are stupid beyond belief. What kind of idiot writes a movie about "communication" and does NO research whatsoever?
I'm so generous and positive thinking with my reviews I always start a movie at 10/10.
By the time Forest Whittaker arrived it had already dropped to 5/10 because;
1. It seemed to be attempting to win an award for the most BORING start to a movie ever made.
2. the filming was atrocious and already unwatchable in parts.
First, moronic directors started using (well still use) Dizzcam. Now they're using eye-damaging Blurry/Out of Focus-cam.
Movie then tanked to 1/10 when Forest Whittaker "arrived" on the scene and then asked her to translate a noise.
I paused the movie and said out aloud, "What fxxking idiot doesn't know that 80-90% of communication is NON-VERBAL! Even if a HUMAN was making those noises you wouldn't have a FXXXKING idea WTF they were saying if you were asked to translate blindfolded from another town.... So why do you expect her to know what an alien is trying to say under similar circumstances???" I unpaused the film and it was as if the writers realised just how stupid the scene was and then tried to correct a mistake they should never have made in the first place!
I couldn't keep watching.
You're better off watching the 1982 movie E. T. if you want to watch a movie about the "Arrival" of an Alien.
I don't remember it being this inept and at least it was watchable from start to finish.
Ambulance (2022)
Atrocious Filming. Hollywood! Please let me teach you how to direct a film!
Dear Hollywood,
This has now got beyond a joke! How much does it cost you to make a film? Why can't you hire me to help you make a good film?
This film had a lot of potential. It was wasted because the director, Michael Bay, does not know how to film a bank robbery. Dizzy shxtty cam is NOT acceptable. It never has been.
Michael Bay was born in 1965. Why can't he learn from the best films made in the 1990s, like Michael Mann's "Heat" starring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro?
Has COVID-19 fried people's brains? People today seem so inept. Even the script writing is awful.
Qn: Why are we not going to the cinema and paying to watch films?
Ans: Because the quality of films these days is rubbish! No other reason. Not a single movie that is even watchable from start to finish, unless you have an extremely low IQ. Perhaps that is the target audience. Perhaps film makers are expecting us to be on our mobile phones or chatting in the cinema and the film is just supposed to be in the background. Who knows?
Can someone, anyone, please explain why almost EVERY film on the cinema and almost EVERY series on Netflix is shxt!!!?
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Unwatchable Blurry-Cam
Any film that uses blurry-cam get's an instant ZERO! All films should at least be watchable! That's basic!
Instead today's directors have ALL chosen Fx that are unhealthy for your vision. You've been warned. Keep watching rubbish blurrycam filming like this if you really want to have to start wearing glasses in the next 10 yrs.
0/10.
Review must contain 600 characters in order to be published? Seriously? Quantity over quality? Lord help us.
Ok.
Film stars Tom Cruise , duh
It's the sequel to the 1986 movie Top Gun. Bet you didn't already know that!
Also stars Val Kilmer.
A lot of blurrycam because the directors don't trust the background scenery presumably.
Blah blah blah.
Ozark (2017)
Garbage!
"Garbage" is the word that adequately describes this series. Garbage describes the writers. Garbage describes the filming.
Extremely poor series written and directed by the intellectually deficient for the intellectually deficient.
Society is truly getting dumber for this to have an average rating of 8 or above.
Poor quality television. Avoid!
Safe House (2012)
Unwatchable Vomit-cam Rubbish = 0/10
I switched this film off after 10 minutes of nauseating camera work that made me almost vomit.
Dear directors. Please learn how to film. If your film is unwatchable you don't even deserve 1/10.
The Purge (2013)
An Honest Review
When I read some of the criticisms on IMDB, it's no wonder so few people make good teachers. Incapable of giving credit where credit is due.
There are really terrible films worthy of 0/10 or 1/10 and I can list them but this is not one of them.
Blair Witch Project for example was the first film I ever witnessed people actually screaming for their money back. There was almost a riot in the hood. There's a title for a new movie. They were all refunded. There are some areas and communities where the cost of a cinema ticket is a lot of money to them. They are much less forgiving.
I watched this in 2013.
Positives
1. Refreshingly original plot.
2. Ethan Hawke is a good actor. He was good in Training Day and fans of that movie will not be disappointed with his performance in this film.
Lena Headley and Rhys Wakefield were excellent.
So there's 2 marks straight off the bat.
3. Professional filming. I don't recall any Dizzycam/Vomit-cam/Queasycam or whatever you want to call the deliberate and cheap misuse of handheld cameras that induces nausea and vomiting in viewers like myself. I'm surprised there hasn't been lawsuits against today's atrocious generation of directors. More said on that in another thread.
4. Film was of a reasonable duration. What's up with films being 3 hours these days & boring for the most part.
5. Decent score & decent unpredictable ending
6. Entertaining especially Rhys Wakefield if you prefer educated well spoken antagonists. Loved him in this.
So overall 6 marks/10 for 6 points. Probably worth 6.5/10.
Negatives:
1. They shouldn't have used the talking doll. I agree with users who found this particularly annoying/irritating and it ruined the younger actor (Max Burkholder)'s scenes which were otherwise reasonable.
2. More could have been done with the premise but that might have required a much bigger budget than the $3million used. Yes. People seem to forget just how low budget a film this was, yet it managed to gross $89 million.
So would I recommend it? Yes. Did I recommend it in 2013/14. Yes. Other movies of that time that you could watch back to back is Wolf Of Wall St but you've probably seen it already. Thanks for reading my honest & sincere review.
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
I love you Sly but .....
Sylvester Stallone was a hero for me growing up so it pains me to write a negative review because I'm always rooting for him to do well. This film was so bad I couldn't finish watching it and had to throw in the towel. A bit like he tried to do for Apollo Creed in Rocky 4.
Out of principle and loyalty, I'm not going to say anymore than that except to say that the 4 marks are solely out of love and loyalty for his work over the years.
I will try to watch it again at some point in the hope that I can find more marks from somewhere because, I repeat, I love Sylvester Stallone like he's family. You will not find a nicer celebrity in Hollywood. I'd love to see Talia Shire in a good new film too. They're my favourite fictional couple.
Upgrade (2018)
Surprisingly Good Film
What can I say except I that I watched this film in 2018 and thought,
"Finally I have found a film worth buying and adding to my collection of good films".
It has some issues especially with the sound/music used later in the film that should have been replaced with a score. This let down the film a bit because it unfortunately reminded me that I was watching a low budget movie. Would have loved to help out since I am a musician and with today's technology it is not too difficult or costly to create an appropriate score for that part of the film. Friends think I did a great job editing Top Gun just playing around with one of my favourite films from the 80s. Unfortunately Copyright won't let me upload it to YouTube but I'm sure Tony Scott if he was still alive would have liked it. Anyways.....
Other than the sound issue this was a pretty solid film.
Would have reviewed it years ago but was busy recommending it to friends and family via social media instead.
Ransom (1996)
Mel Gibson at one of his best!
**No Spoilers ***
I showed this film to one of my friends recently and they said, "My God! I can't believe I've never seen this before!"
Not much more really needs to be said. Trust my recommendation and watch it.
Don't Breathe (2016)
Don't Think. Switch off your brain to enjoy this film.
**No Spoilers**
The director seems to be confused, runs out of ideas, kills characters then brings them back to life only to kill them again presumably to waste time. I am certain you'll watch this film and think, "Shouldn't he/she be dead!?!?" This completely ruins the film and instead of you feeling like you are a character in the film and relating as such, draws you out of the film and stops you from really ever enjoying it. Perhaps it should have been a cartoon instead. That would work.
Rise of the Footsoldier: Origins (2021)
Decent British Essex Movie
No spoilers. Just a general constructive critique of the film.
Negatives
1. The directors could have done their homework regarding the music of the late 80s.. Kariya "Let Me Love You For Tonight" was/is NOT Acid music.
2. Ending was abrupt & seemed rush. Always try to end your movie with a score.
Positives:
1. Vinnie Jones was a joy to watch.
2. The era was quite accurately portrayed for anyone in need of a history lesson on the club scene of the late 80s/ early 90s.
3. Authentic British accents as opposed to the fake & forced Queens English that Hollywood seems to think we all use here in England.
4. Professional steady-cam filming, which is also a rarity these days.
5. Good performances from Terry Stone, Vinnie Jones & Craig Fairbrass.
6. Succeeded in entertainment. Amazing how some directors these days forget this essential ingredient and choose to bore us to death.
So a point for each of those positives results in an overall 6/10 mark which I believe is quite fair. Anything below 5/10 is simply harsh.
It is by no means a Carlito's Way or a Scarface but unlike most movies today it is watchable if you can tolerate the excessive swearing & realistic (in that part of England) use of the word "cxnt".
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
Very funny ?? Yes if you're from Kazakhstan! THE TRUTH.
This film "attempts" to make a Jim Carey "Dumb and Dumber" Meets Eddie Murphy's "Coming To America" (both of which are far superior well financed movies with real comedians) and fails terribly. Sacha Cohen has a lot to learn about comedy but don't let him learn at your expense.
"The truth" is this films is terrible. It might as well be called Dumb and Dumber 3! The only people laughing in the cinema i watched this in were foreign and presumably from Kazakhstan as i couldn't understand a word they were saying to each other in between laughter.
We've all watched an American sitcom and there's programmed laughter every time someone opens their mouth (funny or not). Well that's what this film was like for the foreign minority in the cinema i was in and unfortunately (not being from Kazakhstan) myself and colleagues could not join in.
The entire film is an inside joke with nothing for the general public and i'm a huge fan of comedy. I've seen good comedy and bad but this is by far the worst. Sacha Cohen only proves he can be extremely stupid but not funny.
If you are English or American and above the age of 5 this film is not for you. Mr Bean and "Dumb and Dumber" (if you want to laugh at someone stupid!), Laurel & Hardy, Smith & Jones, The Young Ones, Peter Kay, Police Academy, Friends, Frasier, Austin Powers, Scary Movie 1, Will and Grace etc.. are far better and free on UK television! They are not necessarily great for everyone but believe me when i say "they are better".
In summary: "Borat is the worst film on the cinema at the moment and should be renamed Prat"
24 (2001)
24 Season 5: THE TRUTH
Firstly, 24 season 1 was excellent (8/10) and if you haven't seen 24 Season 1, I strongly recommend you watch it.
Season 2 is good (7/10) but is spoilt by whoever's responsible for writing Kim's story which is extremely irritating and stupid beyond belief.
Season 3 (6/10) is not as bad as some reviews i have read but they continue to introduce the irritating factor.
Season 4 (5/10) there's room for improvement but that's as good as it gets. Season 5 (2/10) is a complete disaster. It's repetitive, predictable, annoyingly ridiculous and an insult to the "intelligence" of everyone who's already seen the first four seasons. The writers and producers have seriously cashed in on this one and decided that laziness and a lack of imagination is acceptable. Reason;
(i) Any half decent organisation would learn from it's mistakes. CTU doesn't and you're subjected to the same plot of infiltration and spies in CTU as before. If that plot was milk in the fridge it would have turned to CHEESE by now! Yet they force it down your throat.
(ii) Villain's caught and then allowed to escape to be caught again should also be creating a stench in anyones fridge by now. Utterly ridiculous and a waste of time. CTU's incompetence is so unbelievable i'm surprised they haven't sued the producers for gross misrepresentation of national security!
(iii) Anyone who'd achieved what Jack had in the first season, would've been promoted to head of CTU. Having saved the world 3 more times he's still not promoted, trusted and having to do everything without authorisation. That's right. Now it's time to be sick. There's only so much off food you can digest however hungry you are for 24. But the next point will trigger the emptying of your entire gastric contents.
(iv) Jack in this season commits a crime of stupidity of proportions only worthy of Kim, to try to stretch this one out for 24 episodes, by failing to make a COPY of something he finally gets his hands on, loses, then gets his hands on again!! He doesn't think to broadcast it or even play it to everyone at CTU when he arrives to predictable consequence.
(v) Finally. They waste 20 hours of your time only to run down the last 4 hours repeating the beginning, chasing the same villain they had already captured and with the same plot because they say he has another cannister of nerve gas they hadn't accounted for!!!?? Please! Shoot the directors and writers of this one because that's not rubbish. That's SEWAGE!
In summary you'll wish you never watched this season let alone paid for it and you certainly will not want to watch Season 6.