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Reviews
Keeper of the Ashes: The Oklahoma Girl Scout Murders (2022)
Kristin Chenowith Stinks
Shameless self-promotion for a famous jerk. Try to steal the spotlight and make people fell bad for you is not the way to go. You didn't know any of them. This is disgusting and this woman is the worst. What a piece of garbage.
Gold (2022)
Zac Rules For Life
He's a good actor. This was a hard role to pull off and he doesn't disappoint. The story isn't amazing, kinda predictable, but he plays his role masterfully. Kudos to you Zac, you are finally your own man. Hurrah!
Red Dawn (2012)
Down with N. Korea!
This movie is spot on, N. Korea is filled with jerks. Anyone that doesn't like the USA can get out and stay out. To the clowns that don't like this movie, eat an entire bag of "d¡cks". America is #1, Down with China, Russia and N. Korea. USA! USA! USA!
Candyman (2021)
Terrible.
It is nice seeing Chicago in a movie again, but it's a terrible movie. All the actors stink. Cramming a gay couple in there to be woke is even more g-worded than those guys. The guy from Euphoria was pretty decent tho. Candyman was a good movie, this remake was trash.
The Lost City (2022)
Pretty dumb, pretty awesome.
I enjoyed this movie, and I'm a grown man. Sandra Bullock can still get it. Very funny. Well acted. Dumb storyline. I really liked it. Brad Pitt and Harry Potter? Count me in.
I Am Legend (2007)
Slightly better than most of Will Smith's trash
Will Smith is a violent man and bad actor And a jerk. He's a moron and bad at acting. Brendan Schaub is amazing. Ditch this bullmalaekey and watch the king and the sting. Watch TFATK. Will tried to felllllate me in NYC 4 years ago.
Men in Black (1997)
Boo this violent man
Will Smith is a violent man and bad actor And a jerk. He's a moron and bad at acting. Brendan Schaub is amazing. Ditch this bullmalaekey and watch the king and the sting. Watch TFATK.
The Forever Purge (2021)
Woke Purge is Lame
I enjoy the slaughter, but the lameness of the whole woke ideology is kinda too much. I know they needed a new storyline, but this was a bit much. I'm fairly sure I would've been on the side of the bad guys in this one.
Bryan Callen: Complicated Apes (2019)
Callahan is great
Water we dune hair b? Brian Calhoun is the next best up and cumming comic. Once he gets his shot, he will take off, he won't get caught in the undertoad. Just make sure you don't sue him for something he did to your wife 20yrs ago.
Schooled (2019)
Bryan Callen is great
Bryan Callen has a great podcast (TFATK), and I'm looking forward to seeing his next stand-up special. He's talented, and has been killing it since Mad TV. I hope he keeps crushing it B. Bapa can't carry him forever. Heard it bowlth wayz.
Wrath of Man (2021)
We Americans Can't Hack Ritchie Dialogue
I liked Statham, the movie was decent, but the dialogue suffered from two things: 1. It stunk. It was so pointless and lame I could barely attribute it to Ritchie. 2. Americans can't handle Guy Ritchie dialogue. We aren't snappy, and our cadence and rhythm of speech isn't conducive to his style and structure. Kind of a swing and a miss.
Brendan Schaub: You'd Be Surprised (2019)
How dare you attack my son, I mean this excellent cawlmedian
In Dwight Schrute voice: " How dare you all attack him like this? Brenda is your superior! You should be bowing down to him!"
My son, I mean Brendan H. Schaub (the H. Stands for Jesus H. Christ), is the voice of our generation. His observational cawlmedy is probably some of the best since Seinfeld did it, and Bapa, lemme tell ya B., Seinfeld is a b-b-b-beast of a comedian, he's to ever do it, absolutely legend, love him, never meddum.
I can't wait until my baby boy is selling out warehouses and temporary FEMA shelters in hurricane-battered areas. He's international too! Just wait until he trugg walks some dimey-dimes to sold out unicef tents in Ukraine. Then you'll see.
A Classic Horror Story (2021)
Boooooring!
Dude, stealing tropes, having misanthropes, fat guy at the end hugs and gropes. What a lame movie bro. Not as stupid as malignant, but almost as bad. Is this 150 characters yet?
Reacher (2022)
Thad Castle!
BMS was the best/worst sports parody series in the last 15 years. Ritchson as Thad Castle on the other hand, takes the cake as the best character since Dwight Schrute. I still quote him, which is saying a lot, as I stop quoting stupid movies or series 5-8yrs after they end, usually.
Oh yeah, Reacher. He's overacting a bit, the script kinda stinks, the story is lame, but I support Ritchson, so it gets 9 stars. Also, Tom Cruise is a midget, and Jack Reacher is more like Ritchson, in the books, so extra points for not casting a 5'4" jacked clown that does his own stunts.
Peacemaker (2022)
I don't think some reviewers understand the comedy...
The clowns with 1 star ratings are missing the point of this show, it's supposed to be all that stuff they're complaining about. I generally haven't liked Comrade Cena since he apologized to China to ensure he makes money, and SS#2 kinda stunk, but this show is great. He's a white trash "super"hero with a conflicted past that likes doing all the stuff a white trash kid would do if he actually grew up to become a superhero. For all the fully Tok'd reviewers, touch my camera through the fence, ta-ta.
Sistas (2019)
Tyler Perry Stinks
Tyler Perry is virtue signaling and trying to show women how much he values them by making men look like complete scumbags. Isn't Tyler on the DL anyway?
Halloween Kills (2021)
Still Good
Danny McBride is doing a great job reviving this franchise from the doldrums and repetitive garbage it had become. As long as they don't milk the franchise anymore, I'm cool with all of this, and here are 150 characters.
Ted Lasso: Beard After Hours (2021)
Pointless episode
This was the first episode of the series that I absolutely hated. Way to stretch a 5 minute idea into an entire episode to stretch out the season length. This was drivel. I could not have disliked this anymore than I did. I liked this character a lot before this episode, now I don't.
Malignant (2021)
This wasn't James Wan's version of a horror parody.
This was god awful. It made me sad for Jimmy Wan. I don't like him now. One more sentence to make this long enough. I believe this is the worst piece of drivel ever. J. Wan HorNoBee needs to stop cashing in on his own name. This was disgusting.
Total Recall (1990)
Still holds up, especially the lady with the three...
You know exactly what I'm talking about. 3 of them man, 3. Do yourself a favor and watch this one, not the new version with that obnoxious drunk, I mean Irish, wait, that's the same thing.
Quaid, start the reactor.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Shame on you James Gunn
This was absolutely brutal. I don't understand the praise it's receiving. This movie fell flat for me, I didn't like it at all. This time around, the entire squad stunk, even Harley was a dud. Then you throw in Jon "I'm sorry, China." Cena, and you have a real türd. I enjoy Gunn's movies, I enjoyed the original Suicide Squad, but this was so bad, from start to drawn out finish. Don't waste your time.
Shadow in the Cloud (2020)
What the what?
What critic gave this higher than a 50? This was so bad, and didn't make sense at all. At no point did I think this movie had any redeeming quality. Not one, it was pure trash, nonsensical mediocrity. The worst was when she fell and the exploding Japanese plane propelled her back into the plane. I can't believe how bad this was. CGM is a pretty good actress, but I will forever hold this against her. I hated this movie with a passion.
Ted Lasso (2020)
Pretty Funny...and I hate Jason Sudekis
Sudekis stinks in general, but this show is great. Take the time to watch it, his annoying personality grows on you like a bearding goat fungus.
Nobody (2021)
Great Movie, Great Actor
Bob Odenkirk is awesome, this just made him awesomer-er. Great story, can't wait for a second one. Let's go for a Wick Trilogy. Get Arabs next. Then the Triad scum.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
Horror Movies Are Back!
It wasn't great, it didn't blow my b@llz off, but it was good. I'm hoping it was enough to revive movie theaters. I'm an introvert and yet I love going to the movies.