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SinisterDreamMaker
Reviews
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
...They Love Each Other?
Reading the comments here it's good to know that I'm not the only heterosexual male to have seen this sorry excuse for a love story. Also reading the comments here I think I'm the only heterosexual man who saw this movie that is not a homophobe. I really don't care at all that the movie's about two dudes, what I care about is the fact that everyone said this is such a "powerful love story" and it's nothing special...at all. Yes the movie's pacing is slower then a line at the DMV. You cannot understand a d--- word Heath Ledger's saying. But the storytelling is worse then the mumbling.
I was asked to watch this "Powerful Love Story" by my girlfriend so seeing I will do anything for her, and that I'm a Film Major, I should be exposing myself to as many different kinds of movies as I can, I agreed to watch this movie. Quickly I realize that this movie is going to be a "long haul" with it's painfully slow pace. Then at about 15-20 minutes into the movie something happen that I didn't see coming at that point; Heath's ramming Jake in the ass. I was stunned, I thought what the hell? I looked at my girlfriend and her mother and they seemed unfazed. There was no foreshadowing to this, just a couple rack focuses of Heath with his back to Jake as he takes his shirt off, he didn't even make an attempt to look at him just a rack focus. There was no hint to sexual interest between them at all. If you're trying to tell a "Powerful Love Story" real love does not start with nookie, maybe if you're in high school, and you should show that the two characters, I don't know, love each other. In no way was I convinced that these two loved each other...at all.
The characters later get back together and have secret "love" up on Brokeback Mountian, and talk about running way with each other so on and so forth. So the secret relationship goes on for years and then the two men have a falling out because Jake needs to have sex more then the few times they meet. This relationship sure is filled with "love" the one guy in the relationship need sex so he cheats on his partner in Mexican back alleys he must "love" him so much. If they loved each other so much Jake's character could keep it in his own pants. I don't care if he did it because he felt like he was living a lie or whatever REAL love is about sacrifice. Years later Jake's character gets killed because he can't keep it in his pants and gets caught. I'm sorry but I cannot feel or care for a character that dug his own grave like that, he knew what would happen if he kept up his man-whoring ways but he just kept doing it.
In the end you really don't care about either character. They both were both just so selfish. Both never thought about anyone but themselves, not their kids, (who they abandoned), their wives, (who they abandoned) not even their relationship (which Jake's character screwed up with cheating and Heath's character screwed up with his controlling nature) just themselves. I would of like to see a movie about how they sacrifice so much to be together and how they worked through it because they loved each other, you know a "love conquers all" that would of been nice to see but what does Ang Lee give us a bad soap opera about gay cowboys, thanks Ang thanks a lot. On a high note this movie looks amazing the cinematography is breath-taking(that is why I gave this a 3 instead of a 1), but all and all this movie just makes you mad don't bother wasting your time on this "Powerful Love Story".
Titus (2000)
I Love This Show
Sitcoms, as history has shows us normally are candy sweet, unrealistic, formulaic crap. None of which can you use to describe the excellent show "Titus". The show is bested on Christopher Titus' comic routine "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding", and what a routine to base a sitcom on. "Titus" follows the everyday life of Christopher Titus and his amazingly dysfunctional family: his insanely cruel and politically incorrect but loving father Ken, his moronic little brother Dave, his equally screwed up girlfriend Erin and his effeminate best friend Tommy. The thing about this show most of the stuff that happens in the show had already happen to Titus in his real life(yes his mom really did kill her husband).
I really don't think there was a more underrated show on TV ever. "Titus" was something very rare in TV Land a Dark Sitcom. There where very few if any Dark Sitcoms out there and the ones that where/are out there I don't think are nearly as dark as "Titus". It barely even seems like a sitcom it was so different from the rest of the pack. "Titus'" only crime is that it was on the FOX network who is infamous for killing shows and killed the show in it's 3 season w/o a serious finale. That is the only episode that is missing, the last one other then that the show is perfect the way it is. There are few sitcoms I will say are actually good and not just say "it's a sitcom so you know it is alright". If you grew up with a dysfunctional family,(Like 63% of American Families) know anyone who did or just like dark comedy this a sitcom for you.
Queen of the Damned (2002)
Much Better Then I Though It Was Going To Be.
When I saw previews for this I was thinking "lame" so I put off watching it for a while then I saw it on HBO and I'm not going to lie it is a good Vampire flick. On scale with other movies I mean yeah it is bad, but you really not need to get mad and fired up about it, just take it for what it is; a movie made for a certain group of people. Stuart Townsend is freaking brilliant as Lestat he really seemed like a vampire unlike Mr. Cruise who just played Lesat as himself...like he does in most of his movies. Aaliyah did a pretty good job, I think she got the feel of the character, but at the same time there was something missing. Keep in mind though Aaliyah was a singer trying out acting not a professional actress. Some of the lines where a little too predictable and stupid which over all just made the movie way too corny at parts when it really didn't need to be at all.
I loved the movie soundtrack, I am a big fan of Korn, Deftones, and Static-X, Jonathan Davis did a good job composing the songs they had a believable feel that this is what a vampire who was bored with immortality and didn't care anymore would write about. They probably should not of had Davis sing for Lesat though his voice is just too recognizable it made way to obvious that Townsend wasn't singing. I'm sure they could of just had Townsend sing and messed around with it in post to make him sound good, and it would of seemed believable.
If you like vampire movies like me and you like "nu-metal"/goth rock like me you will probably like Queen of the Damned.
Clerks II (2006)
A Fitting End To The View Askewiverse
Going to see this movie I was a little skeptical, see unlike most people on here I think Clerks I sucks ass. I feel it is an, uneventful, drug out, and a dull movie, I understand he was poor and couldn't afford to do much but just too much talking,(even Kevin Smith thinks it is "over-praised"). I understand he was poor and couldn't afford to do much but it doesn't mean I enjoy watching it. With Clerks II I was praying that it wasn't going to be that same old thing, meaning Dante and Randal sitting around talking with a static shot then going to some B-roll every now and then. I was happily surprised. This movie is seriously funny, I was laughing my ass off, plus there is camera movement, no more single static shot. This movie is same old Smith humor, if you're unaware,it means very, very vulgar. Most of the people here where whining about how this movie is too immature. The immature humor is centered around Randall and think about it if you where a 33 year old working in a fast food restaurant, living with your mom, and took things as seriously as Randall has always taken things, how mature do you think your humor's going to be? This movie was made for Smith fans and it delivers. It is just nice to see that Smith ended the "New Jersey chronicles" on a better note then Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back. If you're a lover of vulgar humor, and lots and lots of pop culture arguments,(I know Randall's Lord of the Rings vs. Star Wars argument started some bloody geek filled battle somewhere)as well as interesting conversation about race go see Clerks II.
Crank (2006)
Intense. Vertigo Suffers Be Warned
Jason Statham simply made this movie what it is, which is a funny look at something that is pretty dark. This movie is seriously a rush, I know most movie critics use that line for almost every stupid action movie that comes out but this movie is really tiring to watch. Yes the movie is violent, but most action movies are and it has a "R" rating for a reason people. But none of the violence to me seemed sense-less Statham's character is on the edge, and about to die he has nothing to loose and what person out there would not be 1. p---ed off if they were poisoned like he was and 2. would do what ever it takes to get back at the people who did it to them? The fact that Statham's character is a hit-man also has a lot to do with the violence, all he knows how to do is kill, it makes the most sense to him so that is how he is going to go about handling the conflict. The directing/editing was fast and erratic at times, but it was only that way when it needed to be to add to what Statham's character was feeling at the time. When it comes down to it this movie was directed like a long music video, but that really doesn't ruin the movie if anything I think it makes it funnier at times, it is done in a way that isn't annoying. All in all if you are a Jason Statham fan, and like some truly intense action with a good deal of comedy mixed in this movie is for you.
Brick (2005)
This Movie Is So Sweet
I saw a trailer for this movie back in Janurary and seeing that this was a small release and I live in Pittsburgh, me seeing this movie in theaters was not going to happen. So my girlfriend and I rented this movie and all I have to say is Holy S---. This movie is sweet as hell, now I have been reading how this movie isn't believable because it is dealing with High Schoolers and a drug ring and what not well guess what it is a movie duh, movies do not have to be believable. The fact that the movie was about High Schoolers is why it is so sweet Rian Johnson took film noir detective elements and adapted to High School perfectly. Brick was not made to be believable. The movie was made as a homage to film noir detective movies (believe it or not movies can be art as well as entertainment), and like I said before it is done beautifully. It's shot just like a film noir film, but updated to color and Steve Yedlin, the Director of Photography, did it just right. It would of been very easy to mess this up seeing that one of the film noir trademarks are black and white but Yedlin did it perfectly. There a few things you should know before you watch this movie 1. the dialog is heavy, very heavy it is all film noir detective dialog, think 1930's slang. 2. This movie's plot weaves in and out of itself a lot to get to the end and it can be hard to follow at times so you have to paid attention. 3. There are a lot of sound problems in certain scenes, but if you watch the special features and hear what the sound mixer did with the crap sound they got during production, he or she's a sound genius to make it work as well as they did. Beyond that the movie's enjoyably different, a breath of fresh air in a sea of "same-ness" with movies. If you like detective movies or if you want to see something different then a remake give this one a look you will not be disappointed.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Stupid Humor: A Growing Problem Among America's Youth.
This movie is just boring, play and simple I mean all it is riding on is the fact that stoned teenagers find almost anything funny (even lazy film-making). I was fooled into watching it like many of the others who have posted comments, and I thought "OK I have been hearing a lot of good things about this movie lets give a try." I feel like part of my life has been stolen away from me. This is a movie that you sit there and just keep telling yourself "It is going to pick up this can't be all of it", and then you realize the movie is over. Then I have to hear about how great of a movie it is from EVERYONE, which makes me hate it more then I already did. I have never been more underwhelmed in my whole young life. Napoleon Dynamite marks the climax of what I like to call "Stupid Humor" (if you need an example watch new Family Guy episodes) just this un-witty, un-clever, uncreative, lazy crap. Where it is just "funny" for characters to spend more time standing there in silence then doing anything else. Don't get me wrong I understand how silence can be one of the things that makes something hilarious, but that doesn't mean I want to watch it for 10 minutes of a 15 minute show or 60 minutes of a 82 minute movie.
Just because something doesn't make sense does not make it funny! This movie is just lazy, lazy lazy, nothing is really funny about it beyond Pedro's cousins, but that isn't worth suffering through any amount of time in this movie. I pray to God that Jared Hess was stoned and/or drunk when he wrote this, for it would make me think less of the film-making community, no never mind the human race that a sober and "clear" mind came up with something like this. I would say watch this movie if you're stoned and you want to watch something but beyond that don't wasted your short time on this planet.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
It Is A Movie Not A Book & It Is A Good Movie.
OK I have been reading what most people who did not like the movie have to say and all they are doing is moaning and whining about how good the book is and how much the movie sucked. OK before you start talking trash about a movie that was adapted from a book learn what it is like to try and adapted that said book to a movie. It is a major effort to adapt something, anything to a movie. Not to mention Goblet is one of the thicker books lets keep that in mind. That is the reason why the first 2 were more true to the books because that wasn't as much material to adapted duh, it has nothing to do with the directors, just because people have never heard of a director doesn't mean that he/she is a bad director (I would think that being old enough to write a review that people would be old enough not to hold such child-like concepts of directors/movie making.) It being so thick and long they did not have time to worry about such minor characters like the ghosts. I like the ghosts, I think they are a nice comic relief in the movies , but they do not drive the plot. Not the mention when you read you read at you own pace you control the pacing of the story, so therefore you think things are going to happen a different time then the screenwriter and/or the director does. People who are fans of the books before the movie have to understand that the movie cannot and I mean cannot be a word for, carbon copy of the book when it is a long piece of work like Goblet. The movie and book are two different things. You also have YOUR idea what it is and that is different for what the screenwriter can or should do. In addition with what the reader thinks the movie should be concerning characters, once again that is what the actor thinks the character should be not you so stop whining!
If you want the movie to be your way you raise several millions of dollars, spend a few years writing and rewriting it, casting the actors, directing the actors the way "they were in the book" and negotiate with the theaters to play your movie and then you can complain all you want about how it isn't like the book. Until that said time shut-up and understand it is a movie and they did the best they can trying to make a GOOD MOVIE. A good movie that is BASED on the book. Like screenwriter Jay Wolpert(Count of Monte Cristo) said when he was asked what would he'd say to the people who said he wasn't true the book version of The Count of Monte Cristo he said "Thank you.", he continued "It wasn't my job to write a book it was my job to write a movie, you want the book read the book it is a good book." The same applies here so stop whining about stupid little stuff!
Enough frustrated rantings. The movie is fun and great to watch, all the seasoned actors(ie Alan Rickman, Ralph Fiennes)loved playing their characters, and really get into them. The SFX where good I mean nothing different just run of the mill but still good. Let's face it was a good, fun fantasy adventure and that is all we want the Harry Potter movies to be. We just want to be taken away to place that isn't real and escape reality for a few hours, and Harry Potter 4 does that in spades. You get to know and like the characters, you care about them and you have fun while watching it. It has everything you want from a fantasy adventure movie dragons, magic,psychotic bad guys, a little bit of comic relief and you leave the theater happy. They are also starting to go into the back story of different characters, which makes the Harry Potter world more real and interesting. I would say if you like fantasy give this one a look. In addition to the fact that it is fun the story of young Mr. Potter is starting to get dark and more violent, so if you thought this was just a kid story not anymore. So just enjoy it for what it is a good fantasy movie, that is getting better and darker with every movie.