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flyingzombie
Reviews
Seiken densetsu 2 (1993)
One of the most overrated RPGs ever
I really do not understand why this game gets so much praise, is it nostalgia? Most people I've seen calling this "the best game ever" made have mentioned playing it as a kid. Well, I haven't played it when I was younger, so what do I think about it? IT SUCKS. I'm sorry, I really wanted to like this game, I really did. But this game just REEKS of terrible design. First off, the combat is bad. It tries to make it so you don't just mash the attack button to win by adding a stamina meter that drops to 0% every time you attack and goes back to 100%. This completely fails at making the combat less repetitive because you're still just constantly pressing the attack button, only now you're waiting a few seconds between each attack. The only thing this accomplishes is making the combat more boring. Also, I absolutely hate the level up system. You know how in most games, leveling up raises everything? Well SOM says frick that and makes you level up every little thing. See that sword? Level that up. See that magic spell? Level it up. What make this even worse is that this is VITAL to the game. You must level up everything to stand a chance. This means that grinding is a essential part of the game, and grinding is never fun in any game. Also, the magic spells are just overpowered (when you level them up at least.) This applies to both you and the enemies. There is absolutely no way of avoiding magic attacks. This means that when certain enemies spam magic attacks they can just absolutely destroy you, and the same applies to the player. This turns any challenge into boredom, and most challenge that is present isn't organic. Also, the soundtrack is just terrible. Most tracks either have me an ear migraine or were just plain annoying. The overworld theme made me want to die after the thousandth time of hearing it. Speaking of the overworld, I constantly found myself getting lost within it. There is no sense of direction and finding out how to progress can be frustrating. I will say the visual presentation is alright, though it leave a bit to be desired. Overall, this game is a dumpster fire. It really does not deserve the praise it gets. I truly believe this game is only fondly remembered is because of nostalgia and maybe the multiplayer, ( which has problems of it's own, but this review is dragging on.) In conclusion, don't buy game suk.
The Black Cauldron (1985)
Left much to be desired
I really wanted to like this movie, I really did, and while I love the setting, that's about it. This movie definitely had potential, but it's too shallow in the character department. The characters were so under developed and boring that I can't even remember most of their names! I remember Gurgey because he's some weird creature (that is never explained,) and Henwin because they simply say her name EVERY TWO SECONDS. Everyone else I forgot about. Let's see, there's the main character who wants to be a famous warrior. There's the princess, and that all I have to say about her. There's the minstrel guy, who basically does nothing throughout the entire film. Finally, there's the villain, the horned king. I don't find him the least bit intimidating because he never actually does anything. He kinda just "looks" menacing. I liked the concept of this movie but the lack of decent characters really hurt the film.
The Lord of the Rings (1978)
What in the heck did I just watch
This movie is bad, really bad. First off, this movie has terrible world and character building. Unless you had already read the book, you wouldn't understand who anybody is. Everyone gets little to no introduction or character development. They somehow made Samwize a terrible character, he's annoying and unhelpful. The animation is (kinda) a joke. While aesthetically, it looks good. But the movement of the characters is just too goofy for me to take seriously, and the facial animations, UGGH. In short, the facial animations suck. Also, the animation is inconsistent. Normal animated people are put in the same room as these really weird live action/animated hybrid people, it's really disorienting. All the orcs look like Scooby Doo villains, Legolas's face is the goofiest thing ever, the scene with the Balrog was underwhelming, everything felt squished in to make as little run time as possible (keep in mind the run time was 2 HOURS!), and it ended on a cliffhanger that was never fulfilled by the same people (maybe for the better). Overall, just watch the Peter Jakson films. If you want to see this THAT badly, it wouldn't hurt too much I guess. While it is a interesting piece of history, it is not a good film.
Sonic X (2003)
Have you ever wanted a sonic anime? Me neither
This show is just bad. Chris Thorndyke is unessasary and annoying, the plot is stupid, and it copy and pastes stories from the games. All of this on top of 4kids dubbing it, I'm not sure what can be worse. Keep in mind that 4kids is basically the EA of English dubs, so the voice acting ranges from obnoxious to terrible. The whole show can really just be described as lazy, lazy animation, lazy writing, lazy everything. In the end, don't watch this unless you have some brain cells to lose.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
The force isn't strong in this one
I'm not gonna pretend that the last two movies were masterpieces, but I thought they were solid and passible. Not this one though. JJ Abrams probably thought to himself "hey, I forgot to develop my characters, so I'll put like one or two sences doing so. Oh yeah, and I'll throw in even more forgettable characters and not develop them." I do not give a crap about the new characters let alone on main ones. It has the Micheal Bay style of storytelling where action scenes are prioritized over plot and character development. Adimmitatly, some of the action scenes are pretty fun to watch, at least until you realise that's all there is. The plot is just stupid, I feel like I lost a few brain cells. It the most stupid fan fiction anime plot I have ever seen in recent years. This includes plot points such as "Emperor Palpatine was alive the whole time even though he clearly died in Return of the Jedi" and "Kylo Ren dies, but not before giving Rei a kiss." The only character I genuinely enjoyed watching was C3PO, who was the only one not affected by the zombie apocalypse if you know what I'm saying. Just don't bother with this one, it's not worth anyone's time.
The Lion King (2019)
Just watch the original
I am astonished how they made such a great movie with beautiful visuals into such a boring bland mess with ugly visuals that shows no emotion and also shows why talking animals shouldn't exist in real life. This is basically the same quality as Disneys other live action remake films, which is bad because each one is the same crappy experience each time. This one is unique though, in the sense that it doesn't even live up to the title "Live-Action". Its just animated! It's just a bunch of CGI lions with one expression throughout the entire film loosely following the plot of the original lion king. As for positives, the visuals do like nice other than movement of the characters and it taught me to stay far, far away from lions. In the end, there is nothing to be gained from watching this other than disgust, so just watch the original.