Change Your Image
jryan-4
Reviews
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)
too dark and too stupid even in the light of day
I watched this movie on the couch last night and fell asleep when all of the action started taking place at night and therefore I couldn't make out what was happening on the screen. I hate it when movies do this. They hide the action under guise of darkness. So I missed the ending but I hope the monkey got killed along with everybody else. Please fill me in on their fates. Second thought, don't bother. Let me sleep this one off.
Worst part is, I kind of was amused by the original...that Jon Voight upchuck was too cool but the idea of making an entire movie as an upchuck is going too far.
The Grudge (2004)
Can't miss concept (Mild spoiler included)
Hey, I've got a great idea. Let's make a combination Amityville Horror/Lost in Translation/The Ring flick. Let's get a trendy American actress with a cult following to be the nominal star of this concoction. She can represent the American abroad point of view. Let's get Gellar. After Scooby Doo, she's got to be desperate to do something to reclaim her artistic credibility. She's still got the Buffy cult members who will show up to anything. We can even throw in a Janet Leigh type early offing of a seeming minor star only this time let's make it a male. I got it Bill Pullman. He's perfect. Either that or we could move a bunch of Japanese folks into the Amityville house and have them go through the culture shock. Think how great that would go over in Japan. If it becomes a hit in Japan we could hire the same director and remake it over here.
No, forget that concept, let's go with the first one, the one with Gellar and Pullman. We'll make it incoherent but we'll have a lot of pop up scares one of which we'll make a real jaw dropper. Yeah, that's the ticket. The critics will hate it. So what, it'll make money. Let's call it i dunno how bout' yeah, The Grudge. Yeah.
The Stepford Wives (2004)
Maybe the worst.......
Considering the people involved, this might be the worst movie that i have ever seen. It infuriates me to even think of it which I am doing now only to express my outrage about it.What were these actors thinking. Didn't they realize the mess that they were involved with. Somebody told me a couple days ago that they had more respect for Kidman then they did for Cruise and i said well give Cruise this, "he wasn't in Stepford Wives". This should end Middler's film career, that's about the best thing I can say about Stepford wives. The worst thing I can say is the worst thing I can say about any movie and that is this "considering the people involved this might be the worst movie that I have ever seen.
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Coping with Elevated Expectations
It's always difficult to be objective about a film like Million Dollar Baby. It's winning all the awards and getting lots of tens. When I walk into a theater to see something like this, the flick is already competing with Citizen Kane and Gone With the wind (or in this case Raging Bull and Somebody Up There Likes Me) rather than Kangaroo Jack or the Ghosts of Edendale.
I tend to become hyper-critical on such occasions which negatively affects my ability to sustain disbelief. Since I am a boxing historian, this tendency particularly pervades my perception of boxing movies all of which seem way too fake and over-simplified as compared to the sport itself.
One time I was covering a fight for Ring magazine and I walked into the dressing room where a manager was trying to force his fighter's fists into a pair of thumb-less gloves.A ruling had recently been passed in New York that preliminary fighters must wear thumb-less gloves as a measure to reduce eye injuries. This fighter had never even seen a pair of thumb-less gloves until five minutes before he was supposed to go into the ring against a local betting favorite. The scene in that dressing room ( "I ain't wearing those f------ things") was far more dramatic than anything I've ever seen in a boxing film and these guys weren't even in the ring yet.
So boxing films can best be viewed as metaphors and as metaphors they can not be taken literally. Only in movies do fighters score one punch first round knockouts over and over again. Only in movies do fighters foul as obviously and flagrantly as do the heavies in the movies. On an on and on.
So I'm sitting in the theater, aware of the maudlin, manipulating nature of the metaphor. I'm sort of rolling my eyes at the phoniness of it all, the clichés, the straight from Of Mice and Men story about Axel the Dog and the foreshadowing implicit within the tale. The too familiar technique of Morgan Freeman voice over. Certainly, our nation's critics couldn't be falling for this crap could they? And then, somehow, I too began to fall for it. I gave up the resistance which was futile anyway.
I started pulling for Swank, the actress and Eastwood the director.Let's face it, Eastwood passed John Wayne as the the most iconic of American actors about five years ago and now he takes his place with Scorcese amongst our best directors and here he is playing an old man with no intention of getting the girl. At this point, I'm rooting for Clint more than ever and I've always been on his side ever since the days of Rowdy Yates in Rawhide.
Freeman, yeah, we've sen this before too but ya know what? The reason we see it so often is because it works. I don't know what the thing with "Danger" was all about but even that worked sorta.
And Swank. Top of her game.I'll be a fan forever.
By the end, I forgot about the thumb-less gloves and the career of Clint and Glory and Insomnia and everything else except that I was sitting in a movie theater watching a great movie with my wife and daughter and all three of us were getting something from the film, something different for each of us, something we won't be able to articulate but may come back someday and provide us with courage and resilience in the clutch when we're on the ropes.
The Ghosts of Edendale (2003)
less is more
I've seen worse, for sure. Watching the director commentary of deleted scenes, I've come to the conclusion that the cuts that were made strengthened this film. Less in this case is definitely more. The movie as originally envisioned would have been a waste of money indeed but the twist at the end propels Edendale into the ranks of underrated mind game attempts. Yeah, it's cheaply shot and the actors look alike except for the two leads who kinda resemble Willem Dafoe and Keener from Malkovich. The fake Dafoe guy will never be seen again but the fake Keener actress who plays rachel throws in a disquietingly sincere performance and may be heard from again. Thank God, the disappearance of Rose is not ex-positioned which lifts Edendale from the trash heap to the garage. Always like a Tom Mix reference. I'm going to keep my eye on this director. I'll definitely rent his next especially with the Hollywood Video MVP deal which enables me to rent films like this for free. If you can get this for free, give it a try. I've seen a lot worse.
The Blue Gardenia (1953)
The shoe fits
I had never heard of the Blue gardenia until last night while channel surfing. I was attracted to the movie by the great Ann Baxter, who always adds complexity to every role she undertakes due to the vulnerability she brings to her determination and beauty. Then when I noticed the cast included Ann Sothern, Raymond Burr, George Reeves and Nat King Cole directed by Fritz Lang, I had to go the distance and I'm glad that I did.
The opening shot shows the freeway and since this was 1953, freeways were a sign of the apocalypse back then as were hi fi phonographs which later turn out to be essential to solving the mystery. The title song rendered by king Cole is beautiful and if the movie had been more successful might be remembered right along with "As Time Goes By". At this point in his life, George reeves was embarking on the Superman identity that would typecast him until his death. Great to see Superman immediately before he leaped into the sky. Ditto with Raymond Burr, on the cusp of becoming Perry Mason. During one of the essential scenes, Anne Baxter loses her suede pumps which later become evidence in the mystery. The shoes turns out to be a size five and a half which I imagine was Baxter's size. My wife looks like Baxter and she too wears a size five and a half shoe. In other words this movie along with its imaginative plot manages to pay attention to details and for a fifties flick get most of them right.
Lost in Translation (2003)
seven sighs beyond translation
Casablanca for the Generation X group? Not bad but I see it as more of a Marty (without a marriage) for the Gen X group, a much ado about nothing flick, "hey whaadda we gonna do tonight Marty", that perhaps refreshes in its modesty yet by the time I saw this film, the hype had become so great that I couldn't help but be disappointed, which I was. I like Bill Murray but this great actor thing is getting a little patronizing. Bill's a down home clown drinking beer with his brothers on great golf courses and that's they way uh huh, uh huh i like him. Better than Ace Ventura going serious but still Bill will always be a Ghost Buster. At least in Macbeth, it was sound and fury that indicated nothing, in Translation it's only sound and the sounds are mostly repressed sighs which are the same in all languages and need no translation. seven
Last Party 2000 (2001)
the ironic cost of naivete
For most of its duration, this entertainiing documentary seems
to aim at the "both sides are identical in that they are equally
indebted to corporations" logic until the very end when the Bush
bashing starts which doesn't favor the democrats as much as it
illustrates the absurdity of the 2000 election. In a no win situation it
always seems prescient in afterthought to impale the winner. At first this stance appears inconsistent until it becomes clear
that this film proposes the Green Party and Ralph Nader as a the
supposed solution to this both sides bad pardigm . The bloom is far off the rose for this argument because it was
Nader who in fact enabled the "victory" of Bush thus underscoring
the danger of naivete and over simplification during the electoral
process. The jingoistic attitude of America continues to this very
writing. Now, much thanks to Nader and political thinking like the left
leaning bias ultimately revealedin this film, we have ironically
arrived at Bush and a war about which the spy novelist / cold
warrior John LeCarre has written; " Don't pretend that this is not
religiously based. Don't pretend this is not a crusade. Don't
pretend this isn't about oil. Don't pretend this isn't about making a
fortune and keeping the American people on their heels in fear"
Aside from that Mrs Lincoln, it was a pretty good play. six
Angels in America (2003)
fascinating high definition disappointment
I watched all six hours on HDT TV and was stunned by the definition. Getting past the definition and the virtuosity of the actors well what the hell was it all about. Sorry, too disjointed, too full of itself, too metaphoric, too too. At times Pacino's performance was off the charts but as Streep herself noted "he took a long time to die". Beaucoup long. Why'd they bother having Streep play the old rabbi at the beginning? Why'd they bother having Thompson play the trash burning bum? What did the wife's hallucinations have to do with the rest of the proceedings? The scene where Cohn bursts from his bed hooked up to his IV and spills his blood all over everything was almost impossible to watch. Louis was a self-fascinated boor. I preferred the first half to the second half. Why did the angel in the second half, the dark angel have to change into those dance sandal slipper things? Is this really what brilliance looks and sounds like? Better than K Street or Carnivale for a Sunday night but overall a fascinating disappointment.
Blood Work (2002)
blood work fails
Okay, Clint is 73 and has clearly seen better days as have I. Clint is an artist, a star, an icon and a money maker no doubt. So what...Blood Work sucks...period. The worst film I've ever seen Clint direct, star in or be involved with in any way. What a stupid mess. I don't recall ever seeing a more ridiculously telegraphed, supposedly surprise bad guy. Anybody who has watched even teevee much less so called sophisticated films has this one figured out almost immediately. Don't get me wrong...I'm not about destination. Film is not about figuring out whodunit. Many Hitchcock films reveal the killer immediately...Maybe that's what Clint should have done intentionally instead of semi-intentionally. Let's face it...Clint like Woody has a corre audeince and he will always make money but Clint also like Woody is looking more and more like a freak with every film he makes. I am sad because these guys are my heroes but dayum...this one stinks.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
worth the wait in gold
Way too often when I ask people their favorite movies...one of these three flicks is offered.....Spaceballs...Shawshank Redemption or Monty Python and the Holy Grail.I've always considered these movies over- rated and thus avoided seeing them while simultaneously readjusting downward my opinion of the cinematic tastes of those recommending the flicks.
I only avoided Shawshank for a few months. I've got to admit it was pretty good when I finally saw it and if I would have waited a few more months it probably would have been better and if I had waited a few years it probably would have been great. I waited twenty years to see Spaceballs and when it was finally forced upon me I watched it with an attempted open mind but kept comparing the flick unfavorably to other Brooks films like Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, High Anxiety, Silent Movie,and The Producers. I came away with the reinforced bias that Mel lost his touch after Silent Movie. I held out for almost thirty years on Monty Python. Then to my alarm my twelve year old daughter Mary told me that Monty Python was the funniest movie she had ever seen. I like Mary's taste and when I told her that I had never seen Holy Grail, she was surprised and encouraged me to rent the DVD which I did. I played it last night and yup, I loved it. Truly an original film. We laughed and now everybody is walking around going "neeth" etc. Of the three Grail is the best, Redemption second and Spaceballs a distant third. I wouldn't say I missed the boat..rather I waited three decades to catch it. Now I'm on board...sort of
Seabiscuit (2003)
Seabiscuit places
I can't remember a time when I was rooting so hard for a movie before I saw it although The Hulk comes pretty close.I saw Secretariat run four times in the flesh and ever since I've been a big fan of horse racing and have been discouraged by its gradual descent into the shadowy back barns of our sport culture. Laure Hillenbrand's great book helped and I naively thought this movie might spark a racing resurgence in the shadow of double crown winning underdog Funny Cide and his upcoming duel at Saratoga with Empire Maker.
I took my daughter Mary and her friend Ava to the film with me. My daughter's going into seventh grade.. she does a lot of instant messaging and game boy play. She's a sensitive, smart, cool kid but I've never heard her express the slightest interest in horses.
Ava, Mary and I watched the movie intently, almost reverently as the irresistible story of determination, courage, optimism and open mindedness flickered on the screen. The picture was in crytal clear focus, each frame lovingly composed every actor perfoming with earnest, artistic intensity. I enjoyed every minute of the film but in the end left the theatre feeling somehow disappointed. Seabiscuit suffers the fate of all films taken from great books, particularly books based on great sporting phenomena.....it's nowhere near as exciting as the real thing and every attempt to ratchet up the heart and excitement of the film begins to border on pathos and schmaltz which Seabuiscuit avoids by a nose.
True I had tears in my eyes a couple of times and yes I applauded at the end of the film like about twenty other audience members in an audience of about seventy five on a Friday matinee.
Afterward, I asked Mary if she had any interest in going to the race track to see some real thoroughbreds run...she said "I guess so Dad" and went back to her game boy as I drove home feeling the kind of vague disappointment that a nine film engenders when I want and expect a ten.
High Anxiety (1977)
Brooks on a roll
Mel Brooks got on a major roll with the Producers, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, High Anxiety and Silent Movie. All of those films seemed so effortlessly made and it appeared as if everyone involved was having a lot of fun. I thought the roll might continue for the next ten or fifteen years but the hotstreak ended abruptly after Silent Movie and the ensuing productions began to look labored, tired and painfully searching for laughs.
Of the movies I have mentioned above I would rate Young Frankenstein first, High Anxiety second, the Producers third, Blazing Saddles fourth and Silent Movie fifth. I recommend all five of these films to anyone interested in mid-twentieth century film comedy. Make sure you know your Hitchcock before watching Anxiety and your James Whale before watching Young Frankenstein (particularly Bride of Frankenstein)This might lead to a viewing of Gods and Monsters which is a great film in its own right.
Gaslight (1944)
marriage and the battle of sanity
It took me way too long to finally see Gaslight. Boyer and Bergman are terrific. Cotton and Lansbury add marvelous support. The only reason I can't give Gaslight a resounding ten is because somehow the identity of the strangler is much less of a mystery than it should have been for viewers with a modicum of intuition, aside from that...the movie is a Masterpiece of bad vibes and manipulation and madness. Marriage generally comes down to a battle of sanity so the union of Bergman and Boyer will be troubling to members of all married couples who are engaged in the customary battle to prove that they are more sane than their spouse and are therefore on the higher moral and ethical ground which ends up being the essential factor in issues of control. Boyer can be charming one moment, monstrous the next instant and then paternal and nurturing while Bergman can go from loving and supportive to vulnerable to insane to ironic to vengeful as quickly as Boyer.Don't wait forty plus years to see this one.They don't make 'em like this anymore
Phone Booth (2002)
let it ring
What is the why in this film? Why exactly does the voice of Kiefer Sutherland want to humiliate and murder Stu? Why does the negotiator have to tell us about his intimacy problems and why does he have them? Why do the two negotiators seemingly hate each other so intently. What's the story with the pizza guy or da pimp or da hose or da intern or da wife or da mistress or anybody or anything in this film up to and including the "ending". So much back story has been left out of this film that yes we sadly do end up with ninety one minutes of a guy in a phone booth along with the truly irritating why.....why has the backstory of my life led me to place where i can waste an hour and a half watching an actor playing a guy sweating out his transgressions in a phone booth. Six is generous for this rip-off. Furthermore,I don't feel a need to answer the phone every time it rings and if this film calls I advise everyone do not answer.
28 Days Later... (2002)
out of focus five (underwater seven)
First and above all else this movie or at least the print of this movie that i saw was out of focus which automatically places it beneath Kangaroo Jack which at least cared enough to be in focus. The highest an out of focus movie can rate for me is a seven and this one is not good enough for that by far. I'm a big Romero Dead fan and seeing artsy fartsy crap like this reminds me why i appeciate the Dead trilogy so much. By the way, I complained about the focus to the theater manager who spoke to the projectionist who related back to me through the manager that there was nothing he could do about the focus because it was a low grade film. Five is a pretty low grade which is what I give 28 Days later. Of course, if you get drunk before the movie or are watching the movie underwater then focus won't mean as much and maybe this movie is actually a seven if you're in Scuba gear and maybe even an eight if you're stoned in scuba gear
Gangs of New York (2002)
to many entrees, too much time
Almost always when I indulge in a buffet my selection of entrees makes very little sense. I take what is available and pile one taste upon another until the whole mess tastes like slightly crunchy rubber. Then when I "finish" my overindulgence comes the I can't believe I ate the whole thing syndrome and the vows not to return until I run a marathon or at least play a round of executive golf. Which leads me inevitably to Gangs of New York.Each of the individaul entrees look interesting... Danilel DayLewis...Leo... Liam.....Cameron...Broadbent...Robbie Robertson...Scorsese...Reilley...even U2...New York City.... and even an unrecognizable David Hemmings for God sake and you've got a buffet say that makes about as much sense as piling lasagna on scrambled eggs and putting the whole thing over french fries, tuna fish, squash and peanut butter. Something epic has been created, something barely digestible, something thought provoking and worth the money but something that in the end leaves a "whaddafug was dat?" aftertaste.
I can't believe how many movies Scorsese supposedly waited three decades to make. Gangs of New York is yet another one joining Kundun and Last Temptation of Christ and The Age of Innocence (right there we're talking nine decades alone whihc is ninety years...how old is this guy anyway?). I wish he would return to movies he took only a few years to make like Mean Streets or Taxi Driver or King of Comedy instead of these ingenious, awe inspiring works of overincubated art fart that no one seems to enjoy as much as the man who dealt it. (I keep thinking of Marty at the Oscars as his presumed night of homage deteriorated into humiliation and shutout. That weird smile.The caterpillars etc.)
Macbeth spoke of life as ound and fury signifiying nothing. Scorsese's got the sound and fury right but the implication is that it all signifies something and right there the picture starts to go wrong.
Butcher Bill is a great character and Lewis should have gotten the Oscar. I'm a big Leonardo fan but gotta say he was miscast. He might have been good in two movies that were left out of this movie....sixteen years at Hellgate and the Rallying of the Dead Rabbits...perhaps also the missing love story between Dam and Jenny but Scorsese obviously didn't have the time to go there.
Still for sheer effort alone and the fact that only Marty could in fact make this kind of exquisite mess...I gotta give Gangs an eight out of ten.
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
not this time.....
A few years ago I was listening to a punk cover of Running Bear. A punk asked me how I liked the song. I said it was too goddamned fast. He said "if it's too fast, you're too old" Which brings me to Paul Thomas Anderson's Punch Drunk Love. I didn't like this movie. I didn't like Boogie Nights. I skipped Magnolia. I've hear lots of younger critics raving about all three films. Sorry, they don't work for me and of the two (Boogie and Drunk) Punch Drunk Love missed by the largest margin. I don't know or care why Barry wore the same blue suit with several different ties or the significance of the pianoforte or whatever that thins was that he brought from off the street into wherever the hell he was working doing whatever the hell he was doing. I can't figure out why Emily Watson walked into Barry's life. Yeah, I see the Holden Caulfield link standing up to the prostitute and her pimp after a session of alienated conversation but that's about as far as I can compare Punch Drunk to art.
Someone once told me that imprisoned within every punk song there was a Beatle song trying to escape before it becomes hyper-atitudinal inarticulation....I get the feeling that within every PT Anderson film there is a Robert Altman movie trying to get the hell out before it becomes pretentious claptrap.
Maybe next time the inner Altman will prevail.
Kangaroo Jack (2003)
the value of low expectations
I can't remember having lower expectations for a film then I had for Kangaroo Jack. I give the movie a seven and it feels higher due to the rock bottom expectations. I found myself liking the good guys and hoping they could solve their dillemma and the dilemma isn't that much more preposterous than the dilemmas faced by Crosby and Hope nor for that matter by James Bond. The movie was in sharp focus all the way and that alone commands my respect and attention nowadays. This movies is the opposite of Punch Drunk Love which I viewed with great expectation and the seven it earned seemed more like a five. Low expectations can really work miracles with evaluation...ask our president George Dubya Bush.
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
not this time.....
A few years ago I was listening to a punk cover of Running Bear. A punk asked me how I liked the song. I said it was too goddamned fast. He said "if it's too fast, you're too old" Which brings me to Paul Thomas Anderson's Punch Drunk Love. I didn't like this movie. I didn't like Boogie Nights. I skipped Magnolia. I've hear lots of younger critics raving about all three films. Sorry, they don't work for me and of the two (Boogie and Drunk) Punch Drunk Love missed by the largest margin. I don't know or care why Barry wore the same blue suit with several different ties or the significance of the pianoforte or whatever that thins was that he brought from off the street into wherever the hell he was working doing whatever the hell he was doing. I can't figure out why Emily Watson walked into Barry's life. Yeah, I see the Holden Caulfield link standing up to the prostitute and her pimp after a session of alienated conversation but that's about as far as I can compare Punch Drunk to art.
Someone once told me that imprisoned within every punk song there was a Beatle song trying to escape before it becomes hyper-atitudinal inarticulation....I get the feeling that within every PT Anderson film there is a Robert Altman movie trying to get the hell out before it becomes pretentious claptrap.
Maybe next time the inner Altman will prevail.
Man of La Mancha (1972)
blinded by tears
I must have a major blind spot because I loved this movie in 1972
when I saw it the first time and the second and the third time. Now
I have become an semi-regularly woeful countenanced man
myself and I love it even more. My heart started to stir watching
O'Toole's speech at the Oscars so I re-rented La Mancha even as
it was being removed from the active shelf at my local Hollywood
video. I took it home and played it for the youngest of my five
daughters, eleven year old Mary. She loves musicals as much as I
do. She got into it. I cried again. Sorry. I love this film. Like I said, I
must have a tin ear or a blind spot or goddamn it, maybe I'm right. Man of La Mancha is a 10 plus and a must for all O'Toole fans
which at this point should be about everybody who loves movies. Let the revisionism begin here. O'Toole and Loren> C'mon
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Mission accomplished
I preferred this installment to the first. My sixth grade daughter
Mary read the book before we went to the movie. I was proud of her
for that accomplishment so I made an extra effort to care about this
film. Although this latest incarnation continues to be episodic and
off putting to the non-devout, I did find it engaging enough to
remain awake and somewhat focused although I was looking
forward to the "denouement". I'm sure i'll attend the next
installment so from the franchistic point of view, mission
accomplished.
The Dark Backward (1991)
a ten at four in the morning
Ninety five degrees of August heat yesterday so my wife Lynn
comes down with a miserable cold and sore throat. Even though
our crib is air conned to the max, she's restless and can't sleep.
She goes downstairs at four in the morning and turns on the
teevee. The Dark Backward comes on the tube as movies like the
Dark Backward are wont to do at four o'clock in the morning in the
middle of misery. She manages to watch this filthy three armed
oddity featuring not only Judd Nelson, Bill Paxton AND Wayne
Newton but also Lara Flynn Boyle, James Caan AND Rob Lowe.
Not to mention King Moody the original McDonald's pitchman as
Twinkie Doodle. Lynn lasted about an hour, fired up the video tape.....as much to
prove that this thing actually existed and wasn't an influenza stoked
hallucination as to finish watching it. She started telling me about
the movie when she returned to bed in the darkness just before
dawn. I listened in half conscious astonishment as she described
four hundred pound hookers, a Doctor named Scurvy and a
garbage laden town called Blumph.
The next morning, we went downstairs, turned on the VCR and
watched the concluding hour of DarK Backward. What a stupendously, surreal, unapologetic and screwy film. How the hell
do these thngs ever get made? Thank God they do because
anyone might be going through hell at any particular four in the
morning.
Vanilla Sky (2001)
eye opening ten
Lately each time that I open the eyes of my intellect, I keep
returning to the scene in Lord of the Flies when the Christlike
Simon, who has seen both the pig and the parachutist with his
wide opened eyes, returns to his tribe mates to warn them about
the dangers of self-deception. This scene underlines a prevalent
theme in Golding's novel, namely that we live our lives believing in
lies and when someone tries to enlighten us, we destroy them
first; worry about them eventually; and revere them finally.
Obviously, like all men I possess a vast compendium of
self-deception. I prefer having my biases reinforced, thank you very
much, which is exactly what happened on the majority of initial
reviews to Vanilla Sky. The majority of critics were underwhelmed
and since I was passing through a particularly intense phase of
anti-Tom Cruiseism (based primarily on resentment, jealousy,
and siding with Nicole), I was relieved at the lukewarm critical
reception. I dismissed the film. I figured someday I'd catch it on
HBO for free. Maybe.
A friend of mine kept telling me that I should see Vanilla Sky, that I
would love it. I kept saying `mmmmkay' which means `Look,
you're either a Tom Cruise-aholic or a Cameron Crowe freak and
since I'm neither (which means I'm smarter and more sophisticated than you) I'll see it someday but in the meantime
please shut up and go away'
Finally last week, my friend went out and bought the DVD version
of Sky, came to my office, handed me the disc with a little note
`enjoy and return ASAP'.
I had run out of excuses.
I came home put the DVD into the player, turned it on and almost
immediately my eyes were opened. Not only did I love the movie
but my wife loved the flick as much as I which has happened on
only two other memorable occasions namely Glory and Titanic.
And she has more resentment for Cruise than I do as she
detested not only Eyes Wide Shut but also and both Mission
Impossibles whereas I was merely disappointed by them.
Perhaps it's the fact that my wife and I `survived' a near-death
experience in an automobile accident and to this day we have a
certain amount of question as whether or not we are actually alive.
Since I am typing this and you are reading it, does that mean we
are both alive you and I or.....well, let's not go there.
Supposedly death dreams begin at the point of dying, they are
lucid and time is altered within them. The old `my life flashed in
front of me syndrome'which as Woody Allen once observed `it
wasn't even my life' but is in fact a synthesis of the actualities and
self-deceptions that make up our deranged recollection of mortal
experience.
In other words Vanilla Sky resonated with us on all cylinders but
then of course, we're.......let's not go there.
Later that night as I was turning off the light after an hour of
discussing the film with my partner, a contented silence filled the
room, the silence that happens in the wake of a great movie. I enjoyed the silence for ten minutes when out of nowhere my wife
said to words that I won't forget.
`We're Dead'
I opened my eyes.
Signs (2002)
Signs say Box Office Ahead
Somewhere within Signs I picked up the scent of contempt for the
American film goer. The director seems so self -assured in his
desire to tap into the hearts of the viewing public, which translates,
of course into splendiferous box office returns, that he creates a bit
of a camel. I admit, i am a huge fan of Field of Dreams and Night of the Living
Dead as for that matter War of the Worlds, Creature from the Black
Lagoon, Independence Day, Close Encounters of the Third Kind
and all other other cinematic ingredients that went into the mix,
(homage, ripoff )of this particular cinematic camel soup. I liked all
of those movies better. They struck me as more honest.
About the best compliment i can come up with for Signs is that it
serves as the post 9/11 version of Field of Dreams. In the late
eighties a spirit of hope, perhaps false resonated within the
country. In 2002 a feeling of anxiety lingers. Who knows the next
time that we will all become transfixed in national communion
upon our teevee screens like we were 9/11,like the characters in
Signs are transfixed by their teevees throughout the film.
Certainly, the hypnotic power of televised catastrophe is a prime
time concept in Signs.
The major theme of course is redemption and faith. I have no
problem with either of those concepts, if I did I wouldn't be
compulsively listening to the new Springsteen CD, the Rising.
For the second straight movie (We Were Soldiers Once being the
first), I was distracted by the cumbersome, nearly lurching
performance of Mel Gibson. Every time I looked at Mel in Signs, I
got the feeling that Mel was very aware of the camera looking at
him and "acting" for that camera. That's always a bad sign.
Early box office returns seem to indicate that Night was right. The
public apparently is buying Signs. I did mainly because of my
admiration for the Sixth Sense as well as my interest in crop
circles, cattle disembowelments and black helicopters etc.
I have the feeling that the next camel that Night creates will be less
valid and authentic than Signs which is clearly less valid and
authentic than Sixth Sense. I'm also afraid that as the director's
artistic integrity dwindles his commercial success will continue to
soar which is truly a dreadful sign of the times