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Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011)
Such a disappointment
I am by no means the target audience for this movie, so maybe your 9 year old will love it, but I do like children's films and have very much enjoyed the Spy Kids franchise. Instead of clever plots, well drawn characters, and well written scripts, we get this piece of dreck.
The kid's are one dimensional, the adults are blithering idiots, and the bad guy, didn't really seem all that bad. We are constantly inundated with 'Time' jokes, that frankly aren't funny, and I don't think many under 30 would even 'get'. I saw this in 2D, so the special effects were simply odd looking. And I'm ever so glad I missed out on the 4D scents. It appears (and I don't think this counts as a spoiler)that we are treated to the aromas of vomit, bleu cheese dressing, passing gas to name a few.
Mostly it just lacks charm. One of the best parts of the original movie was the parents desire to protect their kids from violence, not the case here (Mama takes the baby (who doesn't have a name for some reason) on her return mission). Even the sets lack the vibrancy of the earlier films.
It's really hard to believe that Robert Rodriguez had anything to do with this, let alone that he wrote it.
The Golden Compass (2007)
Beautiful and Engaging...only a few minor problems
First off the sets and costumes used for this film, as well as the cg effects were amazing. It was obvious that someone was paying close attention to the novel and that in itself is impressive.
The cast was sensational. Nicole Kidman couldn't have been more perfect as Mrs. Coulter. Add in Derek Jacoby and Sam Elliot and you can't go wrong. Young Lyra was adorable and believable as a resourceful, adventure seeking heroine.
**************Spoilerish**********************
I was disappointed in the dialog. The need to spell things out seemed silly and stilted. "If you get smacked, I feel it too." (or something close). This is beautifully illustrated 2 scenes later and made the point much better.
It's forgivable, because they did try to incorporate most major characters and plots...that was a momentous undertaking in and of itself.
*********************Spoilers for those who read the book************
The movie was restructured...again this is understandable, but the end had me literally screaming "That's not the end...that can't be the end." But it was...Lyra doesn't meet her father and deliver what he needs. I was completely dumbfounded. There was also an inexplicable implication that children who received the 'little cut' could be helped...so that makes me wonder about The Subtle Knife.
******************End Spoilers*********************
I enjoyed the film...but have know idea if it would make sense without reading the novel. The good news is the ending isn't given away for those who haven't read the book yet.
Yours, Mine & Ours (2005)
Harmless family fun
I loved the original, and in many ways dreaded the idea of a remake. But the more I saw the more it looked like fun to me. Most of the reviews were vicious, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. The movie is predictable, and a bit campy. However it features two functional families, who love each other, but can't accept the changes they are facing. No it's not realistic, but I can live with that. I find it a refreshing to see a film with limited potty humor, stupid parents and wise-ass kids.
I enjoyed Quaid and Russo, and the younger cast members. I actually felt the kids were a little better developed than in the original.
The Water Babies (1978)
Oh my...
I can't tell you how much I loved this movie when I first saw it in 1981. The cable went all fuzzy and I watched the last 20 minutes through squiggles. I was heartbroken because I could barely make out the happy ending.
I was so excited to see it on DVD and was thisclose to buying it. But money is tight, and I discovered my library had a VHS copy, so I restrained myself. Yeah me.
Cuz this is one rotten movie. All kinds of rotten. I think a grown woman was dubbed in over Tom. The 'special effects' aren't special or effective, mostly stupid. The animation is dull. The acting is bad. The songs overwhelmingly forgettable. The dialog and pacing are painful.
Who knew I had such bad taste when I was eleven? Learn something new every day!
The Banger Sisters (2002)
A complete and utter waste of talent(s)
Ugh. Hawn and Sarandon have either been blackmailed or physically forced to accept these roles. I laughed a total of two times in this film. Once at a Got Milk? Billboard and once when Vinnie runs over Harry (both scenes are in the last 15 minutes of this excrutiatingly long film). And I think it was supposed to be a comedy, but now I'm not so sure. There is not a single likeable character in this film. The real stars are supposed to be Hawn's breasts. Save your money and rent "First Wives Club", "Everyone Says I Love You" or "Stepmom".
Scooby-Doo (2002)
A lot of fun for fans
Ok, this isn't Shakespeare, or even X-Men. But the spirit of the cartoon I've loved since 1975 was there. Shaggy was absolutely unbelievable. Scooby was perfect. Velma was sooooo Velma. The characterizations of Fred and Daphne were a bit off, but I think that's because Fred and Daphne are boring, so they had to do something with them. I've seen criticism of SMG playing Buffy, I didn't see that, playing the BuffyBot now that I'd believe. They played homage to Daphne's knack for being kidnapped, to Scooby Snack Bribes, to Scooby's amazing ability to become a suitcase!
What really sold me though was Scrappy. I can't tell you how much I hate Scrappy. Glad to know the Gang wasn't all that fond of him either. My niece (13) and nephew (5) protested Scrappy's portrayal, but it sold me the movie, lock, stock, and Scooby/Shaggy in a barrel.
Bottom line: If you are a fan, you will love it...if you aren't, then why bother going in the first place?
The Wonderful World of Disney: Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister (2002)
Toned down from the book, but
Enjoyable all the same. Casting was wonderful, though the ugly Iris, wasn't even plain. Stockard Channing was much more sympathetic than her literary counterpart, not too surprising considering this had to be Disneyfied. Wonderful sets and costumes, fun twists and turns. Clara (Cinderella) is terrifically unsympathetic through the first half. Her "fairy" godmother was not what one would expect either. All in all Emma Poole really steals the show as the slow-witted, but loving Ruth.
The Princess Diaries (2001)
Being a princess isn't all it's cracked up to be...
There aren't any Oscar winning performances in Princess Diaries, so if that's what you are looking for, keep looking. If you just want to have some fun, head to the Multiplex now.
I've been looking forward to this movie for months. I'm a die hard Julie Andrews fan and like fairy tales (so sue me.) Looking at the critics reviews today depressed me. My paper said it was a bomb, Ebert seemed to hate it with every fiber of his being. My sister, niece and I went anyway, and had a blast.
Mia isn't the most believable nerd, lets face it frizzy hair, glasses and bushy eyebrows don't hide the fact that she is a beauty. But clumsiness and low self image are fun. Lilly was the perfect best friend, and Michael a wonderful not so secret admirer. I loved Joe and Grandma. Josh and friends were slime balls.
In the end this isn't a story about make-overs being life altering. Mia is uncomfortable in her new skin and her false friends are quickly found out. Mia learns that believing in herself is what counts, and her grandmother learns a few things too.
The Color of Love: Jacey's Story (2000)
Wonderful film about the creation of a new family
This film was excellent. A Southern Widow gets the call every mother dreads "there's been an accident". Imagine her surprise when moments after she finds out her daughter is gone forever, that she has a grand-daughter. At first Granma is all too ready to hand the child off to anyone else, but a twist of fate gives her some extra time with Jacey. Penny Bae Bridges is excellent in the role of a confused, loving little girl and Gena Rowlands as the conflicted southern gentlewoman...... Louis Gossett Jr. was a wonderful(as always) Grampa, so loving to his Granddaughter and so cold to Georgia. And I just loved Stella Parton!