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Reviews
Epic Movie (2007)
Totally crap!
Save your money! Save your eyes and ears the indignity of watching or hearing this film. Any jokes they thought up were one-liners, which were promptly turned into entire scenes or musical numbers, thereby killing both ideas stone dead.
The sound cut out at the showing I saw. Strangely, this made the experience less appalling for about ten minutes as we didn't have to hear the awful dialogue - the audience were coming up with better jokes themselves.
The studio would be best advised to release a single DVD of this, and microwave it.
God, the Devil and Bob (2000)
To Hell With The BTLA
The Bible-Thumping Loonies of America, that is. As a non-believer, I looked forward to this series. Frankly, it's no more blasphemous than any other depiction of God, the Devil - or Bob if it comes to that - in cartoons or live action (Monty Python and The Holy Grail comes to mind).
The daft thing about it is that the series encourages decent behaviour and tolerance (the gambling episode is especially poignant in showing how greed can change people) and shows the ties within an ordinary family.
And lets face it, once you've seen the devil camping it up singing "Ain't gonna let anyone rain on my parade", you've surely seen it all!?
Stealth (2005)
That was a waste of an evening
Hey, we've got the answer to international terrorism - three REALLY BIG planes to bomb it with. Well, it worked before didn't it? And the Americans wonder why no-one likes them. There is nothing new in this film. Robots going awry and developing consciences have been done before. Beyond that it's the usual gung-ho, USA knows best, Boys Own shoot-em-up rubbish that's been done far too many times before, managing to throw in North Korea, the Far East, former USSR and a home-grown conspiracy, just so we've all got someone to hate.
Jessica Biel looks cute in her flight suit. This is the only good thing about this film.
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)
Thoroughly enjoyable, with some clever in-jokes
I greatly enjoyed this, as a classic cartoons fan anyway. I found Steve Martin's chairman extremely irritating, but I find Steve Martin unwatchable most of the time, so that's an improvement. Some of the in-jokes were well thought out, especially all the captive aliens in Area 52.
I've come to the conclusion that the critics mostly didn't get the in-jokes ("Oeehwa, *who* watches science fiction?") or didn't watch all of the movie.
Jenna Elfman has nice legs and Timothy Dalton's looking good for his age. In fact he looks better for my age than I do and I'm over 15 years younger.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Rolling heads, creepy music - why wasn't I scared?
I enjoyed this movie. The story moved along well and the actors all played convincingly. The only jarring note in an otherwise excellent performance was Christina Ricci's apparent inability to figure out which accent to use. The music went menacing at the appropriate times and the headless horseman was done effectively. For some reason, though, I didn't feel scared.
Titanic (1997)
Nice historical reconstruction. Shame they spoilt it with the appalling romantic dross.
Not often you see a film where the leading man is prettier than the leading woman. The best performance in it is from Gloria Stuart as the old woman. David Warner does a very good impression of Leo G. Carroll. Kathy Bates is impressive and so is the ship. I found Dame Kate and Leonardo thoroughly uninteresting.
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Possibly the biggest load of drivel I've ever spent money to watch.
Kim Cattrall is very pretty. That's the only good thing about this movie. The effects are unconvincing. Kurt Russell tries hard but the material's against him
Whisky Galore! (1949)
Seamlessly edited to make it one of the funniest films ever.
The situation of a small island, with its own unique outlook, faced with 50,000 cases of whisky during a shortage, brings out some brilliantly-executed comedy. The lost sheep in the middle of it all, Waggett, just makes it funnier.