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Reviews
Silent Voyeur (2004)
One of the most terrible pieces of cr*p ever committed to film.
The idea is clever. Our hero wakes up naked in a swamp with no memory of who he is or how he got there. After that it's all downhill.
The main character (who has no name in the script), author of the screenplay and the director are all Georg Koszulinski. Much of the cinematography is impossible to make out. The actors are frequently seen to be groping for words. The film claims to be about the making of a snuff film but very little violence and no murders take place on camera. The film makes claims about all sorts of unspeakable violence and torture, yet none takes place, except for one out-of-focus rape where the actors do not even seem to be touching.
Mostly, the characters argue loud and long about who kidnapped whom in a vain attempt to convince the amnesiatic hero that they are the good guys and that he should kill the others. Eventually he seems to decide to kill them all.
Off camera.
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Non-stop visceral excitement
Do you remember the railroad compartment scene in "From Russia with Love?" You know the one I mean. The one where Sean Connery and Robert Shaw engage in a no-holds-barred hand-to-hands fight. The one where nobody in the audience dared to breathe while the fight was in progress. This is the first movie in 44 years where I had that feeling.
Except in this movie there are six or seven sequences that are every bit as exciting as that scene.
Recently, I have seen several attempts to compare Jason Bourne to James Bond, but they always fail because Bourne and Bond are two very different sorts of agents. Bond is suave and sophisticated. Bourne is a finely tuned instrument of death and little more; he is more like Robert Shaw's character than Sean Connery's. Except he is beginning to remember who he was before the government made him that way and he resents it.
I highly recommend this startling and exciting movie.
Playgirl Killer (1967)
My new nominee for the worst movie of all time.
Because I just watched the "Playgirl Killer", I'm may have to rework my entire list of movie ratings on IMDb! "Playgirl Killer" is worse than "Witchtrap", it's worse than "Teen Wolf Too", worse than "Slaughter High", MUCH worse than "Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill" and even worse than my previous Worst Picture I've Ever Paid To See, "The Green Slime"; in short, this is my new nominee for the worst picture of all time.
The plot of this movie involves fraudulently separating a viewer from his hard-earned money. It is so simple that it has to be padded with long stretches of listening to tepid music and/or watching teenagers dance. It is not really a plot at all, it is more a series of poorly staged homicides separated by interminable padding.
The spoken words in the movie were mostly dubbed in after the the film were shot and in many cases bear no resemblance to what the actor's lips are doing. It is as if the script was not finalized until after the film was in the can.
The movie pretends to be a slasher film, but for most of the murders, the killer drags his victim off screen to kill her. In some cases, the viewer knows who the killer is going to murder so long before the actual killing, that the killing is actually a relief when it occurs.
Finally, the climactic plot twist is so long and drawn out that it comes as no surprise when it finally, laboriously plods onto the screen.
In short "Playgirl Killer" offends any person who could possibly want to see it. The creators of this movie could have learned a lot by studying the collected works of Ed Wood.
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
What is wrong with you people?
I don't understand your objections to this movie. It is a taut, thrilling extension of the character created in "Basic Instinct". The only part of the story that is the least bit unrealistic, is the fact that Sharon Stone's character is still alive and not in jail at this late date.
SPOILER ALERT: As the movie progresses, we are presented with three theories of what is going on: 1) Sharon Stone's character is killing all these people because she's crazy (Risk Addicted); 2) David Thewlis' crooked cop is killing these people in order to frame Sharon Stone's character; 3) David Morrissey's analyst is killing these people for revenge. What upsets most people about the movie seems to be that none of these theories are ever explicated as the "real" story. (Although the analyst is in a psychiatric care facility for killing the cop; the only killing that occurs on screen.)
I think this is a brilliant plot device in the spirit of "2001, A Space Odyssey." WHO CARES what is real? The blonde really is crazy, the cop really is crooked and the analyst really wants revenge. What's important is the interactions between these and other characters in the story. Like real life, everyone is more complicated than anyone thinks and reality is more complicated than a movie. Get over it!
Inside Man (2006)
Compares well to "The Sixth Sense"
This movie reminds me a lot of "The Sixth Sense" in that it contains a mystery that will keep the viewer guessing until the final reel. Like that movie, the plot is very tight and the story is extremely complicated. Unlike it however is the fact that the viewer KNOWS that there is a mystery from the beginning. If you've seen the trailer you know that our hero does not believe that the bank is being robbed. You also know about the clothes the gang wears and forces the hostages to wear and the movie's title begs you to try to guess who the inside man is. Additionally, the opening scene of the movie is full of clues as to the nature of the story and still the ending of the movie came as a complete surprise. You've GOT to see this movie!
Rent (2005)
A wonderful adaptation of the stage version and the Opera
The basic story is the same as that of Puccini's masterwork, "La Bohème." That having been said, it takes place in New York in a year of the late twentieth century and contains all sorts of characters who mostly get along with each other: whites and blacks who all seem to be color-blind, straights and gays and one or two in between. You know some of the actors: Jesse L. Martin from "Law and Order" and Rosario Dawson to name a couple. The rest were mostly new to me, but the cast is top-notch from top to bottom.
The music is sensational! Puccini is quoted from time to time (one of the characters even makes a sly reference to the Opera), but most of the music is typical of the period in which the movie is set. Even though I was not familiar with many of the songs, I found myself joining in with the chorus in a couple of songs. It's that much fun.
SPOILER ALERT: My one quibble is that the ending is a cop-out; Mimi survives! Still that's so small a quibble that it cannot distract from the over-all quality of this exciting movie musical. One of the best movies of 2005.
Slaughter High (1986)
It didn't deserve 1 star, but that was the lowest I could give it.
What a terrible movie. The acting was bad, the pacing was bad, the cinematography was bad, the directing was bad, the "special" effects were bad. You expect a certain degree of badness in a slasher, but even the killings were bad.
First of all, the past event that set up the motive for the slaughter went on for 15 or 20 minutes. I thought it would never end. They could have removed 80% of it and explained what happened well enough.
Then, the victims were invited to the "reunion" in an abandoned school which still had all the utilities turned on. One of the victims thought this was a little odd, but they dismissed it and decided to break in anyway.
Finally, the killings were so fake as to be virtually unwatchable.
There is no reason to watch this movie, unless you want to see some breasts, and not very good breasts at that. This movie makes Showgirls virtually indistinguishable from Citizen Kane.
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
A GREAT love story
I'm tempted to say that Million Dollar Baby is one of the greatest movies I've ever seen, but I'll want to wait and get a little perspective before I do. But one thing I can say is that it moved me like no other movie has done for a long time. And the three principles are awesome I'm their performances.
This is a love story; the love of two men for a sport; the love of a youngster for what that sport may make possible; the love of a father-figure for his young charge. Clint Eastwood lovingly handles the story with grace and rare perspective. He coaxes award-winning performances from his cast and handles the twists and turns of his complicated story with a deftness rare in today's Directors. I was blown away.
National Treasure (2004)
Lots of fun
This movie has an implausible premise.
That having been said, it's a lot of fun to watch. It is non-stop action as our heroes race against time and the bad guys to solve one riddle after another to find a fabulous treasure hidden somewhere in America by the founding fathers. The riddles are all related to the United States as it existed shortly after the Revolution. The following is a minor spoiler, but it is referred to in the trailer. Some of the clues are written on the back of The Declaration of Independence, so a big part of the plot is obtaining that document.
Nicolas Cage and Diane Kruger work well together, and while the plot is not primarily about romance, their developing relationship is very believable.
If this appeals to you, go see it. I loved it.