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The Descent (2005)
10/10
breath of fresh air for the horror genre!
10 July 2005
WOW .. Totally blew me away when i saw it last night, i have never been in a cinema where everyone jumped and cringed and were as scared and as shocked as they were last night! There was lots of uncomfortable laughter and stuff during the film and when the credits rolled everyone left in stunned silence!! (And not because it was rubbish .. far from it) This is deffo the scariest film i have ever seen! No wonder it got an 18 it fully lives up to it with the amount of genuine shocks and scares .. lots of brutality and gore and i love how it's all done to women (and they're not your typical screaming bumbling idiots as most horror movies portray them) The 6 female leads really pull it off both physically and in their acting ability, when the s**t hits the fan you do feel for them unlike some throwaway horror films where you're actually wishing for the cast to be killed off! I think the fact that it's set in such a confided dark space (personally pot holing is something that scares the s**t out of me anyway) is scary enough, but these women really face it all - they get trapped in there and haven't hardly any food, tools to get out let alone a route to follow and then get attacked by a group of mutant 'humans' just tops it off!! Dog Soldiers was class .. this was super .. and his next film 'Outpost' sees a group of oil rig workers facing a zombie like plague spread inside while their stuck their in a storm sounds like it should be a hoot! Neil Marshall is like a fu**ed up Hitchcok of the 2000's, his writing and directing really is a breath of fresh air for the horror genre and i really hope people don't avoid this @ the cinemas and let it become a cult classic @ the home market like Dog Soldiers was!! Oh and well done to Cellador (those who make Who Wants To Be A Millionaire) for giving this guy the money to make the film (and make it they way he wanted to) .. apparently lots of studios weren't interested even though he was so praised for his debut film! The only complaint i have is the kinda weird but very Inglewood ending!
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Valiant (2005)
1/10
Dissapointgly dull!
5 April 2005
Well this is the first film in a long time that i felt like walking out of! I'm not sure who the makers of Valiant are trying to appeal to? Personally i don't see how any child will enjoy this (it looks quite cute and the morals are there) but the story is dull and aimed at adults - however the jokes (what few there are) are too stupid and clichéd to even appeal to the adults! The cast don't really do it for me either, Ricky Gervais is annoying. And Ewan McGregor really doesn't pull it off as the young hero Valiant. I can't even see this appealing to people outside of the UK too so why that amount of money was spent on this is anyones guess! This is no chicken run! :-(
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10/10
Who knows how long I have left...
30 May 2000
Shocking...In a good way of course. I've been changing the way I do things ever since!

This is one of those films which has such a impact on you that you change the way you act afterwards. Every time I'm on a bus or walking along a road I am looking for signs which will warn me of my untimely demise.

I know it's not likely..but the way the film shows how such little things affect the outcome of events it really does make you wonder. Not the best film I have seen this year..that honour would go to a top notch thriller called The Talented Mr Ripley. Not that this isn't top notch....the acting is great.

I'd highly reccomend this film. 9/10 or A-
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Tube Tales (1999)
4/10
Like train schedules, this ones rather unpredictable.
19 November 1999
Sitting down with my mum this Friday night (yeah I know sad really) It was Tube Tales this or The man who knew too little. After the pre credit 'Tube Tale' things get off to a good start, Denise Van Outen is great here, if you liked American Pie you'll love this short tale! However it gets worse from here on in...and by the final tale you really couldnt care less. Out of the 9 tales only 4 prove better than average.

Check it out and see what you think, but is it worth sitting through each tale just to see what the next one is like, in my opinion No. I think sitting on a real train would prove more entertaining than this film.
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