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Reviews
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
We were all rooting for you
I think it's pretty simple - if you loved the last film (Revolutions) then there's a chance you might like this. If like me you thought Revolutions was a directionless, bloated mess, then you're going to HATE this, 'cos it's more of the same, but with all the most boring bits turned up to 11.
The first 20-30 minutes gave me hope that this was going somewhere different; I wish I'd turned it off then and remained ignorant.
A good writer could've done some amazing things with this series. What an absolute shame.
Eternals (2021)
A different kind of Marvel film
First off, I've given it a rating of 9 to counteract all the ridiculous low scores - it's not a 9, it's a solid 7. Yes, it's long and slow in places, but I've generally got a short attention span and I coped fine.
For me, this is the most interesting Marvel film in a while, not for the discussions about "Where have they been for thousands of years?", or "What have they done to influence mankind?", but for the interactions between the characters, and how they come to discover things about themselves and each other. They're a fascinating bunch, and I enjoyed just seeing them together. (Also the lead actors tend to 'under-act' (is that the phrase?) quite a bit, which was refreshing.)
The main plot is somewhat thin, but the scenery makes up for it, it's a beautiful-looking film (especially the last act).
Nightflyers (2018)
Hilariously inept
I can't stress enough how badly written this show is - to the point where, I'm not 100% sure it's not a joke.
But let's pretend it's serious; imagine one of those Latin American telenovelas where everything's super dramatic and completely over the top, no situation or conversation is ever natural. Then imagine that the writers have only ever watched parodies of sci-fi before, but think it's the real thing. Well, that's Nightflyers.
I've given it 3 out of 10 for (a) Gretchen Mol, Miranda Raison and Brían O'Byrne - they can almost make the terrible dialogue work; (b) it looks great - sets and effects, all top-notch.
PS Very little gets resolved - I guess they were banking on a season 2, which didn't happen.
PPS The Cockney telepath, what WERE the writers on?
Game Night (2018)
6.9/10?? I want what you're smoking.
This is a bad movie, and I'm really quite lost as to why ANYONE would think it's not. If it's a comedy, where are the jokes? Repeatedly saying the word 'semen' is not humour. Plot-wise, there's, oo, a third of a twist (if I'm being generous), and it lands with the impact of a wet cabbage.
And I remain completely baffled why genuinely good actors like Jesse Plemons, Jeffrey Wright, Sharon Horgan or Kyle Chandler went near this stone-cold dud.
Oh, there's a nice dog in this, is that why it gets 6.9? Must be it.
Equinox (2020)
Forget all the comparisons, it stands on its own
Yes, Equinox will undoubtedly remind people of a dozen other shows and films - most obviously recent ones like Stranger Things, Midsommar, Dark and Hereditary - because everything borrows from everything else, it's unavoidable. But Equinox has its own soul and its own flavour, and if you approach it from there, you'll get a lot more out of it.
Unlike some other shows, the story doesn't mess around - 6 episodes was all that was needed, and it filled them perfectly. The lead actresses are fantastic, as is the music, and the look-and-feel is spot-on.
I can see some people who enjoyed it calling for a series 2; it doesn't need it, at all. There's no more story to be told. Everything was wrapped up (bar a couple of inconsequential things), it's done, and done beautifully.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Unforgivably dull
What happened? The first film wasn't perfect, but it had charm and momentum. This one? Nothing of note happens for the first 70-odd minutes, just tedious one-note characters moving about, no life in it at all. Then at last we get to the action.. it's fine, stuff happens... but by this point, you don't care. I don't really know why they brought Steve back, he doesn't do anything - other than to marvel at inventions THAT WERE AROUND WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. Save your money and sanity, just go watch the first film again.
Raised by Wolves (2020)
It's not that bad!
Judging by some of the reviews here, you'd think it was the worst show ever, a crime against sci-fi. It's nowhere near that bad. Granted, it meanders a bit at times, and there are some annoying story strands (the way Marcus' character develops is mishandled, it becomes a chore every time he's on screen), but come on, that ending was DIFFERENT, you've not seen that before. I want to know what happens! Bring on series 2.
Color Out of Space (2019)
Significant astroturfing going on here
I refuse to believe there are so many people who think this stupid film is worth 8 stars or higher. My rating is nothing to do with the premise, or how faithful it remains to the original story. It's just that it's a terrible script that begs for over-acting, and boy do they go there. The effects are ok, but really, the only good bits steal (liberally) from The Thing, The Mist and Annihilation, but this film isn't one hundredth as good as any of those.
Avoid - don't waste your money or time.
Anti Matter (2016)
Don't believe the 1 star reviews
It's a low-budget film, and actually, they make the budget go a long way. I liked the story, the acting was fine, and the production design and effects were spot on. I do agree with some reviewers that it could lose 10 minutes near the end. I hope we get to see more from this writer/director.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
We needed an 'Empire', but didn't even get a 'Solo'
I have never been so disappointed at a Star Wars film, not even with any of prequels. The fault lies squarely with the script; the plot is risible, and the dialogue is leaden and utterly unfunny. I say 'plot', 'Rise of Skywalker' has a 'plot' in the same way that Donkey Kong has a 'plot'.
To be honest, I wish I'd never seen 'Rise of Skywalker'. Never in a million years did I think I'd be describing 'The Last Jedi' as the last decent Star Wars film.
Bye, Star Wars.
PS Gave it 5 out of 10, solely for the actors and the effects.
Ad Astra (2019)
Stupid stuff happens - in space!
I'm still not entirely sure this film isn't some grand joke. The script has been written by someone who has zero understanding of how people will live off the Earth, which is highly annoying. Weirdly, the number of violent people that the lead character encounters out of nowhere is supernaturally high, can't get my head around that.
I honestly can't see how anyone is rating this higher than a 2, and that can only be for the special effects, which are admittedly very good.
Avoid, avoid, avoid.
The Bank Job (2008)
Engaging, and by no means bad
I liked the film to start with - bit cheeky, typical London "cops, robbers and gangsters" fare. Then after the heist was done, the tone darkened, uncomfortably so. If it had stayed lighter throughout, I'd have enjoyed it much more.
All the actors were fine (I like the fact that you know what you're getting with Jason Statham - you don't *want* him to come across as 'actorly', you *want* him to play the lovable hard-man), the direction was slick, and the film was never boring. Worth a rental when it comes to DVD.
One last comment: I know it says 'BASED on a true story', but I can't believe more than the bare bones are in any way factual.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Nearly a good film
I can almost believe that amongst this mess, there's a good film struggling to get through. As others have said, maybe a director's cut in a few years might end up giving this film some kudos. However, no amount of editing is going to remove the misplaced Tom Sawyer character, nor could it tone down Stuart Townsend's hammy acting - but hopefully we'd get to see more of Captain Nemo.