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Reviews
Half Japanese: The Band That Would Be King (1993)
Great story of a great band!
This is an excellent documentary detailing the genesis and ill-rewarded career of Jad and David Fair, and their pursuit of becoming the best rock and roll band ever.
Half Jap fans will love the behind the scenes stories of how the band came to be, including an amazing vignette about how they signed their first record contract.
But the viewer totally unaware of Half Japanese and the strange influence they've had on American underground culture will also appreciate this film for the story of two goofy, naiive kids who decided they could make music, regardless of everything but intent.
There are some nice appearances by Velvet Underground founder Mo Tucker, Penn Jillette, and the guitar superhero Don Fleming. Sorely missed, however, are comments from jazz sax vanguard (and frequent Half Japanese contributor) John Zorn and Half Japanese's finest producer, Kramer.
The only weak spot in the whole film is the slightly tedious yammerings about poisonous major record labels by kooky music savants Gerard Cosloy and Byron Coley (Coley, who seems to imply that the major labels had somehow gotten their compeuppance in the post-Dokken junkyard of the early 90's.) Clearly Half Japanese is superior to the mind-numbing crap spewed onto the airwaves, but turning Jad into the poster child for independent label struggles is probably not a good fit. Jad himself has his eyes set on writing the most popular rock song ever, which would be hard to do in a 3 person mail room at some indie label hangout.
Indeed Jad and company deserve far more recognition than they ever have gotten in this country. It's sad that we need an excellent film like this to certify Half Japanese culturally, as if without it Half Jap would fade away into oblivion.
H.O.T.S. (1979)
Danny Bonaduce's Finest Silver Screen Work
While anyone who claims to have watched this movie simply for the Danny Bonaduce shots is clearly in denial of their libido, it is indeed a fine performance, meaning pleasurably hideous.
Danny is some kind of semi-famous celebrity MC here in the movie, which makes you wonder if he wasnt playing himself in this role, so to speak. The shining moment of this movie, outside of the nude scenes, is when Danny gets onstage with his band to sing a song called "Shake it Baby," a song which really has no other words than those. And who can ever forget the scene in which Danny Bonaduce (Richie) finds himself in bed with a live seal and enjoying the action? God knows I have tried to forget, but it is stained on my retina.
There are lots and lots and lots of flopping, nude women in this movie, which serves its purpose rather well I guess. However, when you are done looking at the girls, some scenes to watch out for are: robot maid enters sorority house to find the secret cache of stolen money, extra large nude woman saves the day in a hot air balloon, and perhaps the strangest -- girls make hundreds of dollars selling "pies" consisting only of whip cream on a plate with glued-on nude sorority girl pictures.
If for nothing else, apart from the Bonaduce madness and the kooky bumbling crooks, you have to see this movie to observe the unmeasurable extremes filmmakers will go to in trying to justify what is patently gratuitous nudity. Strip football?
Mad Monster Party? (1967)
Very Strange, Very Amusing
I stumbled across this movie tonight on AMC, and was surprised that I hadnt seen it as a kid in the 70's, since many other Rankin/Bass 60min holiday films were shown every year.
This is a full length movie, and while it is great for the kids there are plenty of jokes and elements for the adults. I mean, for one thing, the voluptuous love interest Fransesca is wearing a see-through dress, complete with visible panties, and even cleavage. Also, some of the plot is quite dark, including a great party scene in which the monsters all get drunk an beat each other up.
If you're a fan of the clay puppet works of Rankin, like Rudolph and the bizarre Christmas special "Year Without a Santa Clause," you'll like this animation style. In fact, if you are as nuts as I am you will notice some doll costumes used in this that were used earlier in Rudoplh the Red Nosed Reindeer (in particular, the little red hats used for the footmen for the Lion king of the Ilse of Misfit Toys is used on some nefarious henchmen of Dr Frankenstein)
This movie is full of strange site gags and bizarre musical numbers. I would suggest watching this with a cocktail or five, because it gets rather surreal very fast. And the ending is not what you might expect in a movie supposedly made for kids.
Worth it at least for the Phyllis Diller alone.
Serial (1980)
Martin's Best
Hilarious send-up of the PC tyranny of the late 70's, though this movie seems to work even better now than it did then. This film is a much more three dimensional criticism of American culture than Mull's hilarious TV shows, America and Fernwood Tonight. This is indeed Martin Mull at his best. Also a plus is all the great vintage 1979 character actors we all saw on The Love Boat and Fantasy Island.
Cotton Candy (1978)
Fabulous Made for TV Badness!
This is surely no piece of great cinema, but it is incredibly kooky and anyone who likes lamb-chop sideburns and bad, bad pop music will love this one. That is, if you ever see it. Seems like maybe Ron "Opie" Howard has locked this one up in a vault, because I have not seen it aired since they used to play it on the 2 O'clock Movie on WBBM in Chicago over and over and over back in the 80's. If you like bad stuff, ie the Love Boat, Robbie Benson movies and anything made by Aaron Spelling, you'll love this.