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Reviews
Scorned (1993)
Get me a 6 pack of goodness stat!!
Wow!!!!! This movie has it all. Uberman, Andrew Stevens stars in and directs this stunning work of action and mise en scene dedicated to one of the biggest problems facing young Americans today. How many youngsters do we have to lose before people begin tightening regulations on after school tutors? I mean, c'mon people. We are losing students at an alarming rate. Finally this film shows the dangers of improperly hiring an unchecked tutor for your children. In this case, a young and nubile wife is forced to deal with the loss of her beloved husband, and decides to take it out on the man (and his family) who she blames for her beloved's death. She worms her way into a high profile tutoring position and proceeds to dismantle Andrew Steven's son strand by strand. Her sexual torture of the poor boy is especially troubling. I think the message here is apparant to all. Please, for God's sake, check references people!!!! I can't stress that enough. And God bless Shannon Tweed. Keep up the good work.
Troll 2 (1990)
Pure cinematic greatness
Horror movies are a tough breed to make indeed. Classics in the genre such as Evil Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Dracula, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street while good in their own right, will have taken a serious step down in your mind after you've laid eyes on the greatest horror nay, any movie ever made. Troll 2!!! The movie begins when a typical house exchange program goes awry and the protagonist family ends up living in Nilbog, that's goblin spelled backward (pure genius), the capital of the goblins. From here on in, zany antics ensue. The family youngster, Joshua(played by electrifying Michael Stephenson), sets out on his own personal quest to save his family and rid the world of the goblins. Kudos Michael. After some close calls in which young Joshua has several brushes with death, he manages to contact his dead grandfather (who is not in hell by the way) and gets him to come back for a pivotal 10 minutes in which he punches out one particularly nasty goblin and equips Joshua with the most powerful weapon that Earth has against a force as devastating as the goblins. A TRIPLE DECKER BOLOGNA SANDWHICH!!!! Look out Hiroshima. Then almost as suddenly as he arrived, Grandpa disappears for good ala Obi-Wan Kenobi in some lesser known movie. I cried at the ending of the movie, which I will not ruin for those of you out there that have not yet been fortunate enough to see this work of art. I think that since prequels are all the rage nowadays, we need a Troll prequel or two to get our juices flowin again. Who wouldn't like to see Grandpa Seth as a rambunctious teen who has some run-ins with the goblins and yet somehow finds the will to defeat them. I can only wish that this movie gets made. Until then I will have to continue to watch Troll 2 on a daily basis.
p.s. the musical score is completely terrifying in it's own right. The artist's use of "spooky" chords and notes in several of the film's key chase scenes, and the infamous popcorn scene simply made the movie that much better