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Reviews
Ronin (1998)
same old stuff
This film is a dissapointment, not because it is badly acted or filmed, (in fact it is quite well done), but because it is so mediocre. There is nothing new or original here. It left me thinking "what was the point?". Fast car chases and explosions do not make a good movie. It tries to be the 'thinking man's action movie' except it neglects to put in a story that you can think about. Too long and a waste of time. Not good, not bad just the same old stuff.
Under Lock and Key (1995)
amusing 'chicks in prison' movie
This is a VERY bad movie, but that's half the fun of it. It starts out as a typical chicks in prison movie then when they get bored of that it becomes a 'buddy movie'. Copious amounts of nudity and unneccesary shower scenes, incredibly bad acting and one of the worst scripts imaginable make this an entertaining exploitation flick. Oh yeah, and the character 'slash' (the REALLY bad actress) used to be a porn star.
Volcano (1997)
totally unoriginal.
Okay, the reason that this movie IS so bad is because it's so mediocre. The plot was written on the back of a napkin and the script is corny as hell. Its not even one of those movies thats 'so bad its good'. this is predictable from start to finish but will probably appeal to those with limited imagination and who are easily impressed by special f/x and no plot.
Eraser (1996)
Why? lord, Why?
Why do they keep making trash like this? because it makes money that's why. Eraser is not so much a film but a string of action set pieces strung together. It's well filmed but predictable and it's all been done before, only better. This is basically a Nineties version of 'Commando'.
Alfred Packer: The Musical (1993)
pants!
Just because Trey Parker has made a s*#tload of money with 'Southpark' it seems that someone thinks it appropriate to re-release crap like this. It's not funny, and it's almost unwatchable. Made on a budget of about 5 pence, it has absoloutely no redeeming features apart from that fact that it does eventually end. Don't get me wrong, 'southpark's' a great program. it's just that this is a couple of guys in the desert with a videocamera making a movie for their friends, that just happened to get distribution and 'cult' status.
The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994)
Bad, Very Bad.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre was a classic of the slasher genre. t.c.m 2 was bad, but Dennis Hopper was in it. 3 was worse but it had quite a high budget and, er well, not much else. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse they made 'The return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. This is quite possibly one of the worst movies ever made. The acting (from then unknown Matthew McConaghy and Renee Zellweger) is appalling and the whole film feels as if its missing about 20 mins of plot. This movie was definitely sold on its title. One to watch if only for the fact that it's so bad. Oh yeah, its not even violent but it still banned in Britain (along with the rest of them).
Comics (1993)
Excellent 'Channel four' mini series
Comics is the story of a wise talking, stand up comedian from New York who is sent to London because of his lack of respect for 'authority'etc... On arrival he witnesses a gangland murder and is hunted down which causes nightmares from his past to resurface. The film is written by Linda La Plante, one of British television's most prolific writers. Although it doesn't sound too original, it is definitely one of the best contemporary mini- series to come out of Britain in years. Unfortunately, nobody else has seen it. It also has an excellent central performance from the highly under rated Tim Guinee (Vampire$, Blade, the pompatus of love).
Lo squartatore di New York (1982)
interesting example of 'extreme cinema'
Lucio Fulci was one sick puppy. Some may watch this film and think that it is mysoginistic,well...they'd be right. It's basically another stalk & slash movie but with more nudity and disturbing sexual violence. If you though De Palma has a bit of a hatred towards women then wait til you see this. It's not actually a good film, the killer sounds like donald duck, but as far as 'Extreme cinema' goes this is up there with 'Cannibal Holocaust'. Definitely not a date movie or one for family viewing. Worth seeing so that you can say you have. Incidentally, in Britain, Head censor of the BBFC, James Ferman put this on his list of top ten films he would "never wish on a civilised society".
Scum (1979)
disturbing borstal drama
Although now dated, this remains one of Alan Clarke's most powerful films. ironically, the Shocking violence and brutal gang rape of a young boy made it past the BBFC, whilst more mainstream, and arguably less disturbing films such as 'Straw Dogs' have been cut to shreds. Worth seeing for Ray Winstones excellent portrayal of 'Carling'.
The Devil Thumbs a Ride (1947)
Not a bad little film noir
Sinister forties road movies with 'joe' from reservoir dogs as the 'hitcher'. Worth catching if you can find it. It's a definite precursor to the 'yuppie in peril movies that would come about forty years later.