Reviews

...much like any other movie with Robin Williams. Just look at "Toys" and you'll know what I mean. Just don't come complaining to me when your brain turns to honey and oozes out of your ears. Anyway, "Hook" is certainly the worst movie Steven Spielberg ever directed and seems even more politically correct, family friendly and syrup dripping than the most colossal Di$ney fiascos.

The sets look more fake than those in "The Flintstones" and the acting is miserable on all levels. Dustin Hoffman and Julia Roberts look forced and never seem to enjoy their roles - not that I can blame them. Oh, and did I mention Robin Williams sucks in this turkey?

The dinner scene with the Lost Boys is enough to make even the youngest and most inane viewers puke marshmallows all over the floor. I am talking sugar OD here; honey and cinnamon catatonia. Movies like this are an insult to kids all over the world (not to mention adults). "Hook" must have the worst quality/budget quotient in movie history.

Reference - 10 Star Kiddie Movies:

"The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" (the animated 1979 TV movie which is better than all modern Di$ney productions combined)

"The Dark Crystal" (surprisingly original Jim Henson puppet movie)

...and this movie is definitely in the latter category. This sorry excuse of a movie offends me in the same way that "Police Academy 7" and "Lawnmower Man 2" did. Frankly, it might have the worst quality/budget quotient of any movie ever made. Hmm, no that would be "Hook". Anyway, if this extremely low-brow piece of offal is anything like the original TV series I am beside myself with joy that it has never been on here in Sweden.

Reference - 10 Star Comedies: "Groundhog Day" (romantic), "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (wacky), "Evil Dead 2" (splatter).

This gem of a mini-series (the first of four) is perhaps my all time favorite comedy show, next to "Fawlty Towers". IMHO the following three get consecutively worse, with "Blackadder II" also being very good and the last two pretty dull. Forget Mr. Bean, this is Rowan Atkinson doing what he does best: verbal, intelligent comedy!

This melodramatic Russian patriotic mini-series is supposed to depict the life of Peter the Great but purposely skips the most important incidents of the era. Much worse however is the way it attempts to re-write history to make Russia appear the helpless victim of an imperialistic and aggressive Sweden (at the time a Great Power in Europe), when in reality a weakened Sweden was attacked by a Russian/Polish/Danish alliance.

The Swedish king, Karl XII, is depicted as a foppish young womanizer, which is about as far from the truth you can come. At the same time, Peter is shown as a balanced visionary, with the prophetic (and ominous) vision that Russia's future (expansion) lies in the West. While it is true that Peter was in a sense the father and architect of modern Russia, he was also a drunkard and a ruthless imperialist. Furthermore the battles that are covered by the mini-series have basis in reality only as to the locations and the final outcomes (the Swedish army was always outnumbered by at least 3-1, had to attack heavy fortifications at Poltava, etc).

Few people realize just how pivotal this forgotten war between Sweden and the Russian alliance actually was. Had Sweden won (which it very nearly did), St. Petersburg would never have been built, Russia would have had no access to the Baltic Sea, and would likely have lost some territory as well as a huge sum of money - it would probably never have become the Great Power we know today. I can only recommend this mini-series to romantic Russian patriots and imperialists, who will no doubt swallow this falsified account of history without too much trouble.

What high hopes I had for this film, and how cruelly they were crushed. And it all happened so fast! The first two thirds of the movie are actually quite good. A bit slow-paced, but nevertheless worthy of the Alien concept. Of course, I had hoped for a plot that would have let us see more of the Alien universe; the planets, the military, etc...

Anyway, on to the ending, which I HATE. There is no other word for it. I hate the ending, because it violates the one thing that makes the Aliens movies so good - the Aliens themselves!!!

The disgusting offspring of the Queen looks like a giant malformed human baby - and yet is more powerful than the queen herself! The Aliens, as you will recall from the first movie, were touted as "perfect organisms", something the ugly baby critter is most definitely NOT. Blasphemy!

Beside this abomination, the whole ending sequence is filled with cheesy effects and logical gaps the size of Jupiter: PAH!

The screenplay for "Willow" is extremely Tolkienesque - which does not mean it could not have succeeded - but it is also much too... flighty and cute. What most directors fail to see is that Fantasy movies need a touch of the dark ages to succeed; they must convey a sense of harshness... hard people for hard times. As is the norm with American action/adventure movies, there is little real sense of darkness and evil in this tale of halflings and heroes. More war, less children! Look to "Conan the Barbarian" for the kind of atmosphere necessary.

"Dune" is one of my all-time favorite movies as well as one of the best SF novels ever written. The only two things that mar the beauty of this atmospheric and suggestive film are the poor special effects and the much-too-short length (i.e. the editing). Rumors abound that it was originally intended to be _much_ longer, which would have done it more justice.

Still, "Dune" is a must-see for any true Science-Fiction lover; in my opinion it is the best movie David Lynch has made.

"Conan the Barbarian" is in my opinion the earliest Fantasy movie made that is worthy of the name. In fact, it might still be the best Fantasy film ever produced, with the possible exception of "The Princess Bride". In itself, this might not say much, but I think that Conan the Barbarian manages to capture the special atmosphere of Robert E. Howards works' very well. This is a great movie, despite the aging and somewhat cheesy special effects. Furthermore it is a crying shame that Basil Poledouris did not get an Oscar for the fabulous soundtrack.