Reviews

Just got back from a Monday night showing of Basic Instinct 2. We had maybe twelve people in the theatre, all couples. I was with my single mom friend Jennifer who has somewhat provincial tastes (she loves chick flicks!). The plot was silly, and the lines were some real groaners. But what else is new? Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone had horrible lines too, and the plot was ludicrous in the first installment. The sequel was bad enough to chase off two rather offended looking couples who scurried for the door halfway through the screening. Yes, the film is bad. But what did anyone expect? It's chock full of sex, murder, and double entendres. Sharon Stone is past her "sell-by" date to play a seductress nobody can resist, and she seems like Joan Crawford in one of those B-pictures the flailing diva did late in her career (Strait-Jacket or Trog anyone?).

But for some damn reason I can't totally dismiss the film. As unimaginative as it was, I still had an absolute blast. Sharon Stone may be 48, but her boobs are probably only sixteen years old at best. I'm sorry, but I admire the hell out of her for having the balls to try and pull this one off. And guess what? She kind of does. Her voice is lower, she has to wear a lot of make-up, but Catherine Tramell is still in there begging to come out. She's still hotter than half the stars in Hollywood half her age, and reigns as the "Queen of Mean" (maybe even more so after hearing what all she's done after being famous).

I had a hard time buying a shrink would fall for her. But then again in the first installment, why would a homicide detective? Paul Morrisey looks great, and does all he can to make sure his character is more subtle than the cocksure Michael Douglas San Francisco detective from the original. It's a more restrained journey, but he's English and a psychologist. In a way it's a nice contrast to the first. And how in the hell did they get Charlotte Rampling and David Thewlis? They both turn in their usual fine performances providing exactly what the script demands of them (not much, but they make the most of it).

Most of all, I just had a really good time. It's not a brilliant film by any means, but I was never bored. The movie, Sharon Stone, and David Morrisey all look good. I liked Catherine's new fixation with auto-erotic asphyxiation (belts around the neck right before orgasm). It's simply a vanity project for Stone, but she still has some sex appeal left even at nearly half a decade. Sure it's all like some kinky car crash, but you can't take your eyes off it. I'm trashy for saying it, but I liked it. It very well may be a hoot to call it "the worst film of the year" or "top pick for a Razzie", but in the final analysis it entertained me. Don't believe the hype, it's still a fun adult erotic thriller. And I for one can't wait for the inevitable "unrated" DVD. It'll sit happily nestled between my copy of the original and Catwoman. Somehow it seems to fit right in - not as great as the first, but not nearly as bad as Stone's turn in the Halle Berry flick. Because at least here she looks good, and happy to be back.

The people who are saying this is a crock are missing the point. According to the book FAST FOOD NATION entire countries that have historically not had obesity problems (ex. Japan) began to have problems once fast food chains arrived. What Morgan Spurlock is showing is this is not remotely healthy food! Yes, nobody in their right mind would eat at McDonald's for every meal. But what is amazing is that his health declines SO RAPIDLY when he does.

Like smoking or drinking this food is an addiction and a vice to something harmful. And yet its makers do not acknowledge this, nor do they do anything to advise people that may not have the education or resources to realize it.

Our teens consider french fries vegetables, and our kids scream for McDonalds when you pass one. SUPERSIZE ME is a great testimony to how McDonald's sucks us in, turns people into "heavy users", and promotes a very unhealthy lifestyle. Morgan Spurlock gained the weight in one month, and it took a YEAR to take it off! Our bodies are not designed for this type of food.

Open your eyes. This film is a wake-up call! Like BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE which took on the gun culture, this movie shows one of our biggest enemies within. Our general disdain for healthy food. And why? Because as kids we were taught to CRAVE these things.

20 minutes into SPKY KIDS 3-D GAME OVER I wanted to demand the box office give me my money back in quarters so I could have more fun outside playing video games rather than watching some other kids play for an hour and a half! I loved the original SPY KIDS - thought it was smart, hip and fun. I was never bored, and the actors and action was great.

Here we have the same great actors, but no script whatsoever. So they have nothing to do! And the 3-D? It's the old anaglyph technology which uses red and blue lenses! In the 80s they developed polarization 3-D technology which IMAX has perfected. The red and blue lenses were used in the 50s, and now exclusively for TELEVISION viewing of 3-D movies. I suppose this will make it cheaper to go to video and dvd down the road! But it makes the colors HORRIBLE! So not even the 3-D is going to save this one.

Blech! Give me the original!

I'm a big fan of Brett Easton Ellis, and RULES OF ATTRACTION captured the spirit of the book extremely well. It's not 100% faithful in many respects (most notably in the toned down bisexuality of most of the characters) ; however, much like Sophia Coppola's surprisingly adroit adaption of THE VIRGIN SUICIDES the movie captures the mood and tone of the novel. Great performances, great style, wonderful editing!

People are criticizing the movie for being shallow and hollow? Um ... that is the point! Pointless? That is exactly what it means to be. These are not characters you love in the normal sense, and the plot is not meant to be neatly wrapped up in an hour and a half. Of course it's pretentious, but that is the pose! I think it's perfect.

Why did these actors take the roles? TO ACT! They are all getting away from their clean television images, and stretching. The movie tests your patience and smarts. Enjoy the ride!

Okay, let's take this movie for what it is -- a bodice ripper romance novel put on the screen for you to enjoy. It's hardly anything more than that, but does it have to be? The film is set in the "deep south", but the faulty accents and in-and-around LA locations sometimes give it away. It's a highly stylized exercise in melodramatic erotica. There's no mystery here -- even the ending can be seen coming a mile away! Basically the plot is a Southern Belle sows her wild oats before her wedding, and finds herself torn between sensuality and stability. She meets a carny who offers her one last hot fling before she marries her boring college sweetheart. Which one will she chose?

What's to like? Sherilyn Fenn is radiant as April, and overcomes most all of the bad dialogue. She's a great actress! Kristy McNichol steals the few scenes she is in with a flair for comedy and easy earthy sensuality! Why is she not doing more? Richard Tyson plays a rough and tumble drifter carny who gets to pout and preen as a male "himbo" who is justly portrayed as good at one thing. The plot is silly, and you even get an over-the-top Louise Fletcher appearing as the matriarch who knows all too well that "lust fades, but financial security is worth everything!"

I love this movie though. It is charming in its own way, and sensual without being too graphic. Nothing is subtle, but it pays off as one of the most enjoyable Zalman King outings ever! Notice the almost "ALL WHITE" costumes! These people spend a fortune on bleach. Notice the hottest scene seems to be when Sherilyn Fenn and Kristy McNichol dance together on a deserted jukejoint floor. Notice the great soundtrack! Let yourself go, and enjoy an old-fashioned pot boiler romance filmed and acted better than it ever had a right to be.

A lot of movies start overseas and cross-over to the United States. Sometimes they decide to re-make the stories using American actors, and the results are ... well ... mixed. Showtime's QUEER AS FOLK follows the pattern laid out by the English series that was a critical and underground fave here in the states. The story revolves around three men connected by a love triangle that complicates things. Michael or Mikey is a 29 year old assistant manager at a Wal-mart, he's dry and witty and sort of insecure. He is in love with his best friend, Brian Kenny. Brian is 29, an advertising executive, and totally in to sex without love. He doesn't believe in relationships. He is ruled by his libido and makes no apologies about it. Enter the 17 year old high school senior Justin. He's just coming to terms with being gay, and ends up falling for Brian. His innocence upsets Michael and Brian's world, and makes them confront the truths about what it all means to be a gay man. What's the difference between this and the UK version? The sex scenes are just as graphic and probably MORE frequent in the US version. Much of the plot has been carbon copied, and even the lines almost match QAF in the UK almost word for word. The Stuart character, Brian, seems a little more like a jerk than he was in the original. I liked the new Vince played by Hal Sparks and called Mikey. He's not as innocent as his UK counter-part, but he does a great job. And the new Nathan or Justin as he is called on Showtime is cute and does a good job looking wide-eyed and brand new.

The show seems a little flat, less subtle than the original. But it will win over fans! People who could not get over the accents will love it. Unfortunately if you have seen the original little will surprise you. The plot developments are the same! I've only seen the first three episodes, so I don't know how they are going to deviate from the original blue-print, but the beginning is very similar. But they have 22 episodes in this first season, and the original QAF was only 8 episodes! So there has to be a jumping off point where the show goes in to new territory. We will have to see where it goes from there. For now I recommend the original, but the new version is worth a look.

101 RENT BOYS is an interesting documentary comprised of exactly 101 interviews with various male escort types found around Santa Monica Blvd.! The majority of them are street hustlers with rough lives to match their rough features. Obviously some were also "call-boys" who looked well-groomed and a little less street-worn. The filmmakers chose the most sensational sound-bites and presents them to us in no certain order except around themes such as "gay", "homeless", and "drugs". It's not surprising to hear about the rampant drug abuse or weird sexual requests of some "johns", but it is a surprise to hear these guys worry about things like family and their future. Great movie!

Calista Flockhart is an interesting actress, but she can't carry this weak piece of film. It's too long on angst, and short on plot. It looks slapped together, and it has no hook at all. Nice to see Calista out of her Ally McBeal persona, but you wish for more.

First and foremost -- I AM NOT A TREKKIE! I have seen the show a couple of times, and get the gist of it...but by no means am I part of the cult that has seen every episode. Guess what? I still enjoyed this movie! It's fun, fun, fun! Sigourney Weaver is a blonde, and so funny -- nice change for her. Alan Rickman deadpans his way through the film, and is also great! Tim Allen does a great Shatner! All in all -- it's just what you thought it would be -- an enjoyable ride. Definitely worth seeing!

I recently rewatched this Rankin and Bass special as an adult, and I had a hard time getting into it. The Miser brothers sequence was everything I remembered -- gleeful and fun, but the rest seemed a little slow. And it clocks in at about an hour! Probably a great show for kids, but not one of the ones you would want to see again and again as an adult. If only they could put out a RANKIN AND BASS sing-a-long tape, or something with the HEAT MISER and COLD MISER songs on their own. The rest of the story about Santa needing a vacation was a little long-winded, and Jingle and Jangle sort of worked my nerves!

Okay, I loved the movie! It was wonderful and unique, an absolute stunner. But two times Johnny Depp's Ichabod Crane refers to the millennium as if 1799 into 1800 was a millennium year. It was just a turn of the century, no? Anybody else bothered by this?

Yes, this movie features the incredible...ummm, talents of Sherilyn Fenn and Charlie Spradling but honestly I was going to imitate another fairy tale and fall asleep for a hundred years rather than make it to the end. This is BEAUTY AND THE BEAST with a modern-day Italian setting, and a gothic horror spin by making it a psycho-sexual romp! Sounds intriguing, and it well could have been much like the SNOW WHITE movie that did this same thing with more success, or COMPANY OF WOLVES that remade Little Red Riding Hood into a very sexy gothic horror movie. But alas, MERIDIAN just plods along without much direction or clear focus on anything! The effects are not special, the story simple and not engaging, and valiant efforts by La Fenn and company can not save any scene in the entire movie. Only the die-hard Fenn fan could weather this storm, and I barely made it despite a very strong obsession for her.

John Carpenter did not want to produce yet another Michael Myers film, so he decided he wanted to make an anthology...he was planning on possibly releasing a movie every year or so with a HALLOWEEN theme and none of them would be related. Debra Hill and the rest of the producers thought it was a great idea, but it flopped since it was so different from the other two movies. I think it was just misunderstood. It's creepy and fun! I liked the INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS homage, and the whole movie stands on its own. I think it was better than 4,5, and 6! The series got seriously lame after this one. I think John Carpenter had the right idea -- leave Michael a mystery, and let him die in the hospital flames with Dr. Loomis. The music is great in this one! And check out a HALLOWEEN flashback as Nancy Loomis (Annie in the original film) makes a cameo as Linda, the ex-wife!

Through a good connection I got VHS copies of the entire show, and I watched them all several times. This series will never make it uncut to the United States! It has some pretty graphic scenes, but it's not ever pornographic. What it is -- the smartest, most well-written, heartbreakingly real television show I have ever seen. Forget ER at its best! This is a show about real people, and they just happen to be gay. It's sad that nobody has agreed to air it uncut here in the US. HBO wants it, but they will edit it severely. Now when does a cable channel that will show SHOWGIRLS or any theatrical US release with extensive nudity decide that a couple of seconds of male nudity is too much. I am tired of protecting kids! I couldn't see EYES WIDE SHUT intact and now this. We are the most backwards civilized country in the world. But enough about that, if you ever get a chance to see QUEER AS FOLK...it is well worth it. Rarely have I seen anything so unique and gripping.

A lot of people online seem surprised and turned off by this movie. You've got to realize that it was meant to be a campy take on movies like VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. It's a spoof, and yes it is weird and yes it is wonderful. The music, the cast, it's all a lot of good-natured jokes about some distasteful topics. I think it's one of the best of its kind! Right up there with any John Waters film. If you like that sort of movie, run out and see this movie. If you've never liked any movie with Divine in it then run away fast as your little Laura Ashley or Land's End shoes will carry you. Definitely not for the weak!

SEX AND THE CITY has got to be one of the better shows produced this season. It puts Ally McBeal to shame, and proves that Kim Catrail is one of the most underrated actresses of this generation. The show is fun, the actresses are all top-notch and for the most part it does not pull any punches. When can you say that about any other tv show, especially the network fare that SEX IN THE CITY surpasses? Watch it! I love the women, and it's a good time. What more could you want?

South Park the tv series has seemed to run out of steam -- the popularity and the ratings have dipped, and people seem to be saying that they have had enough. Then along comes this movie, and suddenly I am in love with the gang all over again. The movie surpassed any expectations I had, and gave me something to think about (surprise). Very funny, very fast, and worth the price of admission. They look great on the big screen, and honestly you don't have to check your brain at the door. In fact if you look hard you can catch spoofs of the musical Les Mis, and more social criticism and parody than you could dream of putting into a movie. An A+, and a wonderful pinnacle to the South Park legend.

Okay -- the effects were great and seamless, there was a cast of great actors, a great score, and an awesome marketing campaign. So what happened? No plot, no story, no human interest at all! I was bored and not engaged by anything other than the pretty pictures. I did not cheer, I did not fear for anyone's safety, I did not care. JAR JAR sounded worse than a teletubby, this was Star Wars brought to you by Barney. Cute and harmless! Give me the old story about a simple farmboy, a sassy princess, a wisecracking smuggler and his dog! And most of all -- don't ruin my dreams about the best villain ever created -- Darth Vader. I don't want to know that he was a slave to a flying warthog, that he skipped around shouting "yippee!", or that he saved the day by accident. I also don't want to know that the FORCE is a bunch of midichlorans in your cells, that takes all the fun out of it. Some stories are better left untold. The real PHANTOM MENACE is George Lucas. He has lost sight of what made the movies great in the first place -- the spunk and plunk of the humans and the humans in robot costumes. So you can make a 20 story fish eat a 40 story fish? So you can make podracers travel at 300 mph before our eyes? But can you make us care? I did not care about anybody, and I can wait 20 years for the next installment. Am I a killjoy? I don't think the critics were HARD ENOUGH on this the most soulless movie since...well, I can't think of one. And wrapped in such a handsome package to boot. Amidala says "Space is cold." Amen sister!

A lot of movies have this theme right now about virtual reality and what its effect will be on us. Leave it to David Cronenberg to put his psycho-sexual organic versus machine stamp on the genre. Basically, think the MATRIX with a brain and a much sicker side even though a lot less violence (well...sort of). It's full of gross-out moments, but not as cringe-worthy as CRASH or DEADRINGERS if only because the characters are in a game-world for most of the violence. I like all of Cronenberg's films one way or another, because they have a point of view and they are always unique. eXistenZ is no exception, and is surprisingly easy to watch. CRASH was hard for me to watch the first time, but this one clips along at a good pace and has a great plot that will keep you on your toes and the edge of your seat. Smarter than the MATRIX, and kinky in its own way without ever being outright sexual. Imagine a scene where somebody licks a small hole in the base of your spine that is actually a game-port, or a scene where they stick a vaselined finger in this mechanical orifice. Sexual? Yes. Sexy? You decide for yourself. Go see this movie with an open mind. It's Cronenberg 100 %, but it is fun too.

This is a great movie about America. It takes on the First Amendment, and shows us how uncomfortable that right can become but how necessary it is to keep the American Dream alive and well. Grandiose sub theme, but the story itself is a doozie all on its own. Poor boy becomes rich off pornography, and almost dies protecting his right to be outspoken and offensive. In the meantime, he loses the only person he loves. Woody Harrelson and Courtney Love play the oddest couple of the year, but they both amaze you with performances that are so real and caring. These two -- Larry and Althea -- could have been one dimensional smut-peddlers and drug-users, but in the hands of Woody and Miss Love we come to care about them despite their shocking habits. Courtney Love did deserve a nod from Oscar, and she becomes the heart of this movie and Woody and Ed Norton the body and mind.

Excellent movie, well worth your time.

I think this is one of the best horror movies ever made, seriously. Faye Dunaway is not playing Joan Crawford, she is playing an evil beast from the pits of hell. It's funny and scary all at once, and I love this movie. I actually like the scene where she whacks off all of Christina's hair even though it has the continuity error. This movie rocks! Just sit back and enjoy the manic wierdness of a bad movie that transcends its own badness. I can't even describe how I never tire of seeing this again and again.

I hate to admit this, but I liked RAVENOUS a lot. Panned by critics, and scorned by audiences. I had a good time even with all the cannibal action that could be stomach-turning at times. But you know it was a good story, and well-acted. Plus, I was entertained and not enough movies do that. I wanted to see the end of the movie, I was riveted. Love the actors, and love the story. Not a bad movie. If you get a chance don't let the subject or the buzz turn you off.

I loved VELVET GOLDMINE just because the movie was so well-designed. The plot is a little bit thin, and sure they ripped off a lot of David Bowie's life without being a film biography, but it is so much fun that I am willing to ignore that. The gay-theme of the movie is heavy-handed, and if that makes you uncomfortable maybe you should stay away. But there is nothing graphic, and really everything is sacrificed to take you down a sequined trail that shows how rock and theatre merged from the hideous folk-singers of the 60s to the androgynous butterflies of GLAM. I love the music and the images. Let yourself get lost in that, and you'll enjoy this movie on a level that few films can capture you on.

Okay, yes this movie is a cheesey Casablanca rip-off and stars Pamela Anderson Lee and her two biggest assets. But give it a chance, and what you see is a great B movie that has some good action sequences and funny dialogue. For a movie to be camp it can't know it is bad, and this one thinks it is serious. You can see Pam trying to hold her own, and amazingly she does for the most part. I loved how she dipped down her voice, and delivered her lines earnestly. She was great! I think they need a sequel. Hell, I think she needs a series about this bounty hunter than her bodyguard service.