- Mary: You were the love of my life, and the pain of my life. And I need you to know, it's all the world to me that you're here.
- [moaning]
- Earl Stone: I love you Mary.
- Mary: More today than yesterday.
- Earl Stone: But not as much as tomorrow.
- Earl Stone: You're right. I thought it was more important to be somebody out there than the damn failure I was here at my own home.
- Mary: How did you come into all that money?
- Earl Stone: Well, I just... Well, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm a high-end gigolo.
- Mary: [laughing and wheezing]
- Earl Stone: Bounty hunter?
- Mary: Come on. Seriously, come on.
- Earl Stone: All right, seriously. Okay. I've become a drug mule for the cartel. And I've got 305 kilos of cocaine sitting right in the back of my truck out there.
- Mary: [eyeing him closely then laughs again]
- Agent Colin Bates: It's good to talk to one of you guys once in a while.
- Earl Stone: "You guys"?
- Agent Colin Bates: You know...
- Earl Stone: What kind of guys?
- Agent Colin Bates: You're just willing to... You live so long, I think you've probably lost your filter.
- Earl Stone: Really. I never realized I ever had one...
- SWAT Captain: Any last minute orders?
- Agent Colin Bates: Yeah, nobody shoot me - unless it's absolutely necessary.
- Earl Stone: [walking up to him] What? I thought you were dead. No such luck, I guess.
- Tim Kennedy: Let me tell you something. Did anyone ever tell you you're a bit of an asshole, Earl?
- Earl Stone: All the time. Even in Spanish. All the time.
- Earl Stone: Why did the horticulturist walk cross the hotel lobby?
- [in unison, crowd says 'why?']
- Earl Stone: He wanted to get to the bar, and that's exactly where I'm headed.