- Joan Watson: Why are you watching a sex tape?
- Bethany Marshall: [on tape] Sammy. Sammy.
- Sherlock Holmes: At the moment, purely as an education. Sammy was not without his skills, and far be it from me to think that I know everything.
- Michael: My mind is like a racing engine, tearing itself to pieces because it is not connected up with the work for which it was built.
- Bethany Marshall: When the tape of Sammy and Sophie came out, Luna lost her mind.
- Detective Marcus Bell: She was jealous.
- Bethany Marshall: Uh hum. See, she and Sammy had made a tape too, only he told her he had never done that with anyone else. So she sent Sophie a bunch of text messages. She said she hoped they both would die. And they did.
- Detective Marcus Bell: Okay, so what makes you think you'd be next?
- Bethany Marshall: Because. I made a tape with Sammy too.
- Sherlock Holmes: [looking suspiciously at Marcus] You didn't make a tape with Sammy Olivetti did you?
- Detective Marcus Bell: Nope.
- Drew Bishop: My sister has a lot of ex-boyfriends. Which one is missing?
- Sherlock Holmes: Sammy Olivetti. Tall. Tattoos. Phallus to make a Clydesdale blush.
- Joan Watson: Hey, have you seen Sherlock?
- Detective Marcus Bell: No, everything all right?
- Joan Watson: Well, he didn't come home last night, and he hasn't returned my calls.
- Detective Marcus Bell: Maybe he met someone. Oh, knowing him, someone, two friends, and a pet tiger.
- Joan Watson: Don't pretend you haven't seen her naked. Everyone's seen her naked. Not that I would lead with that if I introduce you.