- Candace: [to Linda about Sidecar] He needs his nap soon and he's a little difficult to put down. And if he doesn't get his nap, he's... I don't want to say a horrifying monster, but, um, have you seen that movie "Monster"?
- Linda Belcher: Oh, I can put him down. I have three kids. I can still rock Gene to sleep. Gene, come here.
- Gene Belcher: No! Stay away, you sleep witch!
- Linda Belcher: [after she makes pancakes for the kids] When you guys were little, you loved Mr. Flapjack. Now you're just a bunch of pancake poopers.
- Louise Belcher: So, we could stay here at our boring restaurant all day or we could help an outlaw biker sell his motorcycle. This is a no-brainer!
- Bob Belcher: No.
- Louise Belcher: Come on! We never do fun activities together!
- Gene Belcher: This family is falling apart!
- Tina Belcher: We're all just strangers under the same roof.
- Bob Belcher: Lin, will you and the kids watch the restaurant? I'm gonna go to Critter's.
- Linda Belcher, Tina Belcher, Louise Belcher, Gene Belcher: No!
- Bob Belcher: I know you guys want to go, but Lin, someone has to watch the restaurant.
- Linda Belcher: I want to see the baby.
- Louise Belcher: Come on, Dad. It's either this or the zoo and nobody wants to go to the zoo except Mom.
- Bob Belcher: Guys, selling a probably stolen bike isn't a fun family activity. Going to the zoo is a fun family activity.
- Linda Belcher: Aw, I love the zoo. So many animals.
- Critter: [to Bob] I'm a dad now. I... I can't go out till 6:00 in the morning and then get up at 6:00 in the morning.
- Bob Belcher: I get it. Everything changes when you have kids.
- Gene Belcher: I heard your penis gets stretched out and it's never the same.
- Tina Belcher: [to Bob] You're gonna call the butt phone?
- Bob Belcher: Yes, Tina. And please stop saying "butt phone."
- Bob Belcher: Can I have one more?
- Tina Belcher: Okay, one more.
- Bob Belcher: Butt phone. Actually, wait. Can I save it for later?
- Bob Belcher: Fine.
- Tina Belcher: [to herself] Yes.