Undertale (2015 Video Game)

Bill Fagerbakke: Sans

Quotes 

• Sans : It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... On days like these, kids like you... SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL!

• Sans : quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.

  [Player hides behind the conveniently-shaped lamp, Papyrus comes in] 

  Sans : sup, bro?

  Papyrus : YOU KNOW WHAT "SUP," BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T... RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?

  Sans : staring at this lamp. it's really cool. do you wanna look?

  Papyrus : NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! WHAT IS A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE! IWANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!

  [Assuming a superhero pose] 

  Papyrus : THEN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS... WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT... RECOGNITION... I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO, BE MY "FRIEND?" I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING.

  Sans : hmm... maybe this lamp will help you.

  Papyrus : [Grumbling]  SANS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!

  Sans : hey, take it easy. i've gotten a ton of work done today. a skele-ton.

  [Sans smiles at the camera, the "Badum tish" sound is heard] 

  Papyrus : I AM AND I HATE IT!

  [sighs] 

  Papyrus : WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME... HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION...

  Sans : wow, sounds like you're really working yourself... down to the bone.

  [Sans smiles at the camera again, the "Badum tish" sound is heard again] 

  Papyrus : UGH! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES... AS FOR YOUR WORK? PUT A LITTLE MORE "BACKBONE" INTO IT! NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

  [Papyrus leaves , returns for a brief moment] 

  Papyrus : HEH!

  [Then Papyrus leaves again] 

• [the protagonist encounters Sans in the Last Corridor, after they have murdered every possible monster encounter throughout their journey] 

  Sans : heya. you've been busy, huh?... so, i've got a question for ya. do you think that even the worst person can change...? that everybody can be a good person, if they just try?

  [the protagonist takes a step forward, then pauses] 

  Sans : heh heh heh heh heh... all right.

  Sans : well, here's a better question. do you wanna have a bad time? 'cause if you take another step forward, you are REALLY not going to like what happens next.

  [the protagonist takes another step forward, then pauses again] 

  Sans : welp. sorry, old lady. this is why i never make promises.

  [the protagonist is transported into the battle interface] 

  Sans : it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming. on days like these, kids like you...

  [dark tone and serious expression] 

  Sans : should be burning in hell.

  [Sans attacks the protagonist with a very strong attack. An array of bones and 'gaster blasters'] 

  Sans : [if the protagonist survives the attack]  huh, always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first.

  [the song 'Megalovania' plays. And the fight begins. After every attack by the protagonist, Sans continues his speech while dodging and attacking the protagonist via turns] 

  Sans : [Protagonist Attack #1]  what? you think I'm just gonna stand there and take it?

  Sans : [Attack #2]  our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum. timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting...

  Sans : [Attack #3]  until suddenly, everything ends.

  Sans : [Attack #4]  heh heh heh heh heh... that's YOUR fault, isn't it?

  Sans : [Attack #5]  you can't understand how this feels.

  Sans : [Attack #6]  knowing that one day, without warning, it's all going to be reset.

  Sans : [Attack #7]  look, i gave up trying to go back a long time ago.

  Sans : [Attack #8]  and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore, either.

  Sans : [Attack #9]  cause even if we do, we'll just end up right back here, without any memory of it, right?

  Sans : [Attack #10]  to be blunt... it makes it kind of hard to give it my all.

  Sans : [Attack #11]  ... or is that just a poor excuse for being lazy...? hell if i know.

  Sans : [Attack #12]  all i know is... seeing what happens next... i can't afford not to care anymore.

  Sans : [Attack #13]  ugh... that being said... you, uh, really like swinging that thing around, huh?... listen.

  Sans : [Attack #14]  i know you didn't answer me before. but... somewhere in there. i can feel it. there's a glimmer of a good person inside of you. the memory of someone who once wanted to do the right thing. someone who, in another time, might have even been... a friend? c'mon, buddy. do you remember me? please, if you're listening... let's forget about all this, ok? just lay down your weapon, and... well, my job will be a lot easier.

  Sans : [Sans spares the protagonist, but they attack once more]  welp, it was worth a shot. guess you like doing things the hard way, huh?

  Sans : [Attack #16]  sounds strange, but before all this i was secretly hoping we could be friends. i always thought the anomaly was doing this because they were unhappy. and when they got what they wanted, they would stop all this.

  Sans : [Attack #17]  and maybe all they needed was... i dunno. some good food, some bad laughs, some nice friends.

  Sans : [Attack #18]  but that's ridiculous, right? yeah, you're the type of person who won't EVER be happy.

  Sans : [Attack #19]  you'll keep consuming timelines over and over, until... well. hey. take it from me, kid. someday... you gotta learn when to QUIT.

  Sans : [Attack #20]  and that day's TODAY.

  Sans : [Attack #21]  cause... y'see... all this fighting is really tiring me out.

  Sans : [Attack #22]  and if you keep pushing me... then i'll be forced to use my special attack. yeah, my special attack. sound familiar? well, get ready. cause after the next move, i am going to use it. so if you don't want to see it, now would be a good time to die.

  Sans : [Attack #23]  well, here goes nothing... are you ready? survive THIS and i'll show you my special attack.

  [Sans attacks the protagonist with a massive array of bones and gaster blasters lasting roughly 40 seconds. As the protagonist survives the attack, he becomes very exhausted from launching his whole arsenal at them] 

  Sans : huff... puff... all right, that's it. it's time for my special attack. are you ready? here goes nothing.

  Sans : [Sans stalls for his turn doing nothing. Neither one attacks]  yep. that's right. it's literally nothing. and it's not going to be anything, either. heh heh heh... ya get it? i know i can't beat you. one of your turns... you're just gonna kill me. so, uh. i've decided... it's not gonna BE your turn. ever. i'm just gonna keep having MY turn until you give up. even if it means we have to stand here until the end of time. capiche? you'll get bored here. if you haven't gotten bored already, i mean. and then, you'll finally quit. i know your type. you're, uh, very determined, aren't you? you'll never give up, even if there's, uh... absolutely NO benefit to persevering whatsoever. if i can make that clear. no matter what, you'll just keep going. not out of any desire for good or evil... but just because you think you can. and because you "can"... you "have to". but now, you've reached the end. there is nothing left for you now. so, uh, in my personal opinion... the most "determined" thing you can do here? is to, uh, completely give up. and...

  [yawn] 

  Sans : do literally anything else.

  Sans : [Sans eventually falls asleep. Allowing the protagonist to push towards the FIGHT button and attack him. As they attack, he wakes up and dodges the attack]  hey... didja really think you would be able-

  [another attack from the protagonist, and Sans is struck down, bleeding] 

  Sans : ...so, guess that's it, huh? just... don't say I didn't warn you.

  [Limps off screen] 

  Sans : welp. i'm going to grillby's. papyrus, do you want anything?

• Sans : [Appearing as a shadow, speaking in a dark tone, no dialogue clicking sound is heard]  Human, Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand.

  [Player turns around and shake his hand, a long fart noise is heard] 

  Sans : [In a cheerful tone]  heheh... the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick, its always funny.

• Sans : You're sparing me? Finally. Buddy, pal... I know how hard it must be... To make that choice. To go back on everything you've worked up to. I want you to know, I won't let it go to waste. C'mere, pal. GEEETTTTTTT DUNKED ON! If we're really friends... You won't come back.