- Grampa Simpson: What are you doing here? It's not pudding day.
- Homer Simpson: My own son doesn't like me.
- Grampa Simpson: So you've come to apologize for the way you've treated me all these years.
- Homer Simpson: I'd visit you more often if I haven't put you in such a depressing place.
- Grampa Simpson: Before you judge me, look where my DNA leads.
- Homer Simpson: [Tangled in the venetian blind cords] I'm okay.
- Abraham Simpson's girlfriend: I think he's cute. Would he like to play with my keys?
- Homer Simpson: I'm a normal adult man, and yes.
- Homer Simpson: [singing to Steely Dan's 'I'm a Fool to do Your Dirty Work'] I'm a fool to do my dirty work, oh yeah, I can hire all these dirty jerks for free, I ain't gonna do my dirty work no more, Gonna leave my socks and dirty shirts, on the floor.
- [Bart is eavesdropping on Homer and Milhouse]
- Homer Simpson: Oh, I think the engine block pizza is done.
- Bart Simpson: But car food was our thing!
- Homer Simpson: Careful, it's hot.
- Bart Simpson: He never warned me.
- Marge Simpson: Why don't you talk to your son? He's just at the other side of the wall.
- Bart Simpson: Yeah, Homer! Get your fat ass in here!
- Homer Simpson: See? On top of calling me Homer, he calls my buttocks ass.
- Marge Simpson: I'm sure he learned it at school.
- Homer Simpson: You bet your ass he did.