- Mal: [after Jay sets off the alarm at the museum] What to go, Jay! Now we have to go to school tomorrow!
- [as the villain kids arrive in Auradon, a huge welcome wagon has been laid out for them. The limo pulls up, and Jay and Carlos roll out, fighting over a comforter]
- Carlos: You got everything else! Why do you want this?
- Jay: Cuz' you want it!
- Mal: [Mal notices the crowd] Guys, we have an audience.
- [the boys straighten up]
- [Fairy Godmother comes out to greet the kids and sees Jay's hands full of loot]
- Jay: [trying to save face] Just cleaning up.
- Fairy Godmother: [sweetly] Leave it like you found it.
- [beat]
- Fairy Godmother: [more serious] And by that, I mean just leave it.
- [In Remedial Goodness 101]
- Fairy Godmother: If someone gives you a crying baby, do you a: curse it, b: lock it in a tower, c: give it a bottle, or d: carve out its heart?
- [Evie raises her hand]
- Fairy Godmother: Yes, Evie.
- Evie: What was the second one again?
- Fairy Godmother: [smiles, tries not to look disappointed] Oh, okay. Anybody else?
- Evil Queen: Who's the fairest of them all?
- Evie: [enthusiastically] Me!
- Evil Queen: [shocked] What?
- Evie: [apologetically] I mean you!
- Queen Leah: My daughter was raised by fairies because of your mother's curse. Her first words... her first steps... I missed it all!
- [the villains watch Ben's coronation on TV. Snow White covers the coronation]
- Evil Queen: [mocking] I'm Snow White, the fairest of them all.
- [scoffs]
- Evil Queen: Please, she's definitely had work done.
- Jafar: [the Villain Kids are leaving the isle] Bring back the gold!
- Evil Queen: Bring back a prince!
- Cruella de Vil: Bring back a puppy!