- Jess is considered to be a cool force when she goes out with the guys, so they go out to find women and leave her at home. Jess hears noises outside and asks the guys and their dates to return. Party games begin, and Nick has to kiss Jess.
- Nick shows off his fancy new wardrobe -- a woman's trench coat that was accidentally delivered to their address. He doesn't want to take it off and twirls around like Maria on top of the mountain in "The Sound of Music".
Schmidt comes out of his bedroom in a sheet loincloth, announcing that he's been trying to get something going with himself for an hour. "It's like taffy pulling on a hot summer's day," he says.
"I'm over myself, I just don't do it for myself anymore. I even bought myself a sexy new pair of underpants," he says. He vows that he's going to have some sex tonight.
As the guys get ready for a night on the prowl, Nick can't stop boogeying in his new lady coat.
Jess wants to come, but Nick explains she's his "cooler."
Flash to Nick trying to pick up a girl and Jess reading her palm, asking if she had one very special longtime love and saying she should be with him.
Jess tries to pretend she's not offended at being left behind.
Cut to the bar, where they complain that Nick got them kicked out of the club. A hot girl (Brooklyn Decker) walks in and they all try to call dibs on her. Winston gets there first, but can't form actual words.
Another woman laughs at his plight. He sits next to her and is tongue-tied again, but she releases him by showing she's engaged.
Schmidt and Nick continue to fight over the hot girl, and then actually end up fighting over her.
Back at the loft, Jess makes a pile of her clothes, talks to a Nick doll she made and runs around without pants on. She hears scratching noises outside the door and goes to see who it is but the hallway is empty.
Nick explains to the hot chick that the trench coat is his confidence booster. Schmidt is aghast when she tells Nick she likes sad guys and seems to like it when Nick says he hates himself.
At the bar, Winston explains to Daisy (the engaged woman) that he can't talk to women. Daisy says she likes a challenge and he seems like one.
At home, Jess sits in a protective cushion fortress and leaves Sam and Cece messages, calling for backup.
At the bar, the hot chick is turned on by a guy like Nick who needs her to feel better. Jess calls Nick's phone and Schmidt answers and sticks it in his face to interrupt Nick with Holly (the hot chick). Nick tells Jess to quit being a cooler, but she says she needs him.
The guys, Holly and Daisy all show up at the loft to find Jess wielding a baseball bat.
Nick assures her the loft just has old pipes. He tries to explain that Holly is turned on by his misery, and that bodes extremely well for him. Jess vows to help him get laid, whether he wants her help or not.
She suggests a game of True American, "Clinton rules". The floor is lava, they run for furniture, calling out names (including Abu Nazir), until Holly gets caught in the "field of grain" and Jess announces she has to take off her jacket.
Meanwhile, on Cece's date with a nice Indian man, he apologizes for crying during the movie and says it made him realize how much he wants kids. She sees Jess' multiple texts and they head for the loft.
Back in the game, Schmidt violates the rules intentionally to have to take his shirt off. He squeezes onto an ottoman with Nick and Holly, but Jess cites a rule to run him off.
Under a table, Daisy tries to give Winston a girls pep talk. She pushes out her boobs and makes him practice. "Hey girl, what your name is? What that thang do?" he says, stumbling badly. She laughs at him until he manages a whole sentence.
Jess is down to a bra and a tutu. Jess declares the game impasse can only be resolved by two people going behind the door and kissing. Nick tells Holly what number to throw, but she's too drunk to get it right and Nick ends up with Jess.
She is forced to admit how, in this instance, again she might be seen as a cooler.
From the other side of the door, Nick and Jess pretend they've kissed. Left alone with Holly, Schmidt appeals to her love of sad guys by telling him how Cece broke his heart. Sensing his opportunity slipping away, Nick prepares to kiss Jess.
He checks to see if she's a "tonguer" first. He starts to count down, then stops. When he moves in for the kiss, Jess tells him he can't make that face or come in with his teeth. They call the whole thing off.
Holly tells Schmidt his tale is more depressing than sad, but he piles it on until she's into it. She's kissing him when Cece and her date walk in.
Holly tells Cece she has to move on. "I'm sorry, you love that small shiny man?" Cece's date asks.
Holly asks Schmidt if she's lying, so he goes to Cece and asks her to confess that she's still in love with him. She understands he's just trying to get laid and plays along.
Nick and Jess plead to be released from the other side of the door, but no one helps.
Daisy tells Winston she just wears the ring to keep guys from hitting on her. She's single and asks what he's going to do about it. He finally kisses her. "C-minus, you kiss like a damn bitch," she says. She's kidding.
On the other side of the door, Jess admits she's Nick's cooler, but he's his own cooler 70 percent of the time. With some grooming, she thinks he'd be smoking hot.
They're about to have a moment when finally Sam arrives. He asks what they're doing, then immediately joins in, cheering them on.
Jess tries to goad Nick into kissing her. He keeps saying no, then finally says: "Not like this!" Jess asks what he means, but she knows.
Then Nick panics and climbs out the window.
Back inside, Schmidt and Winston make sure Nick's OK. Winston says they'll talk about Nick on the ledge tomorrow, "but first, I'm gonna go do stuff with a girl," Winston says.
Schmidt goes to his room with Holly, and Sam goes to Jess's room, leaving Nick alone.
In the middle of the night, Jess hears the scratching noises in the hall again. She calls on Nick to investigate, he comes out in his trench coat and opens the door -- and gets jumped by a giant dog.
The dog's owner recognizes her trench coat on Nick and demands it back.
Jess and Nick head back to their rooms, bidding adieu to confident Trenchcoat Nick.
But before he goes back to his room, Nick grabs Jess and really, truly kisses her, long, deep and with meaning. She kisses him back.
"I meant something like that," he says.
Then he turns, and goes into his room.
Jess is still trying to figure out what just happened when Sam comes out with Jess' Nick doll with the melon head. Sam asks if he can get rid of it because it's creeping him out, and dumps the doll on the floor. Nick's melon head splats.
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